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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Boyfriend did nothing for me on my 21st birthday and says I'm stupid if I expect things to be romantic
Q. so i dont want to sound like a nag or like im being selfish but here it is. 25th june was my 21st birthday i had a meal and a night out planned. on the 24th my boyfriend didnt want to spend it with me but i told him if he doesnt try its over bec...
A. 28 June 2017: Wow, sorry I couldn't help but laugh when you included his age.
28 years old? It sounds like you were describing a child. I really don't know how you think this is a functional, normal relationship. You know what? I don't blame him for treating... (read in full...)
2000 messages after and my interest has not waned in one particular man
Q. I am a little sad as I write this and would appreciate this question is posted. I am new to online dating. A guy from the dating site started talking to me. I wasn't interested in him but after a few days of talking. We exchanged numbers, did skype ...
A. 28 June 2017: I'm struggling to see the sense behind this one also.
You weren't interested in him, he doesn't have the same life goals as you and he pretty much ignores you unless you talk about something he's interested in.
What exactly are you getting out ... (read in full...)
Am I that ugly that he will reject me?
Q. This boy I really like makes me super wet every time i think about him. I like him for his personality, He is the most sweetest smartest funniest boy I ever met. We are just friend's but I really want to be more than that. But I know that won't ...
A. 27 June 2017: Who knows how he feels about you without asking?
We can't have everyone we want, life is unfair sometimes and it hurts to be rejected. Everyone has been there, but if you don't ask this guy to be more than friends then you'll never have your ans... (read in full...)
Boyfriend did nothing for me on my 21st birthday and says I'm stupid if I expect things to be romantic
Q. so i dont want to sound like a nag or like im being selfish but here it is. 25th june was my 21st birthday i had a meal and a night out planned. on the 24th my boyfriend didnt want to spend it with me but i told him if he doesnt try its over bec...
A. 26 June 2017: Do you not think you deserve better?
If you have any self respect you would leave this lazy ass bum and find someone who knows how to treat a woman correctly.... (read in full...)
Is getting back with him a vain hope?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a question regarding an ex that I am still in love with. We broke up in March. He said he "wasn't in the right mindset to have a girlfriend, I have to sort some stuff out" and "this doesn't mean we can't get back together." ...
A. 24 June 2017: If he wanted to be with you he would be.
Stop wasting your time, he's not letting you forget about him and is testing the waters to see if you're still an option for him.
He knows he has you wrapped around his finger and it strokes his ego.... (read in full...)
How to make someone who doesn't like you fall in love with you ?
Q. I know a man who fancy me sexually but doesn't like me personally. This is odd I know, please open your mind. This is a player, someone who sleeps around and goes from a girl to a girl like a bee in the spring lol. He is good looking, char...
A. 23 June 2017: Why would you even try this?
You know all he wants is sex, therefore there is NOTHING that you can do to change that. A guy knows who he wants a relationship with and who he wants to sleep with, you're playing a dangerous game here.
If you ... (read in full...)
Told my boyfriend I got a new job at a hotel. He was concerned men would look up my skirt.
Q. I told my boyfriend I just got a new job! It will help me pay my bills and I really needed a job right now. It's in housekeeping at an upscale hotel. The first question he asked is what will I be wearing? He was concerned it would be a skimp...
A. 22 June 2017: Why would that be his instant reaction?
I don't think I've ever seen a hotel cleaner wearing a skirt and the majority of the time the rooms are cleaned when no one is in them.
I think it will be very exceptional cases where you may find yoursel... (read in full...)
Is my son over-reacting?
Q. My son is 20 and my older son 27. They started college around the same time. My oldest is going to a for-profit school for culinary arts; meanwhile my youngest is attending a community college on a full pell grant.. my oldest needs the car to attend ...
A. 21 June 2017: Why does the oldest NEED the car for college? What's wrong with the bus like your youngest takes?
It's your car, you use it.
I think it's pretty crazy that you would make your son get up early to take you to work when he is actually trying ... (read in full...)
Does her telling me to move on really mean its over?
Q. Hello i was in a relationship with a woman for 17 months , she ended it because we argued, quite a bit , as she wanted to settle down,and i did , but not yet , she said at begining of april ,can,t say goodbye , so i,ll say goodnight, that was the ...
A. 21 June 2017: Yes, it's over.
What about 'she's seeing another man' makes you think there's still something there? She said not to contact her, is that someone who wants to be chased?
You had your chance and messed her around by not wanting to commit to her... (read in full...)
Why did he give up his trip with the boys?
Q. My boyfriend turned down a golf trip with the guys next weekend. It's out of town and they go every year. He said it's because he knows I worry and he doesn't want to upset me. In the past I have given him grief. Many of the guys go to strip club...
A. 19 June 2017: You answered your own question.
You give him grief for it and he's tired of it so sees it as less hassle just to avoid the weekend.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to buy a cheap car instead of one I can actually afford
Q. So I'm in a conundrum. My bf and I have been dating on/off for 5 years. We were friends for years first before dating. Currently, we disagree on a car, to understand the struggle, a lil history is needed. In the very beginning of our relationship...
A. 18 June 2017: Your money, your choice.... (read in full...)
I'm tempted to punish him by cheating on him
Q. Hey all!! I'm in need of some good solid advice and know this website would be my best bet for non sugar coated advice. I know I'm not the only person going thru this type of stuff, so please help me thru it. I've been dating the same guy for...
A. 18 June 2017: Your age states you're between 36-40 years old, yet the idea you have sounds like something a stroppy teenager would come up with. How would cheating on him solve anything?
If he is going behind your back then why are you still with him? Why woul... (read in full...)
He is getting married next month, I want to tell him I still love him!
Q. Hello, My ex will get married in one month from today - should I tell him I love him? We met nine years ago while travelling and had a whirlwind long-distance romance / relationship. I've never experienced being pulled towards someone lik...
A. 17 June 2017: Edit: 'Want him to focus his attention on you again'... (read in full...)
He is getting married next month, I want to tell him I still love him!
Q. Hello, My ex will get married in one month from today - should I tell him I love him? We met nine years ago while travelling and had a whirlwind long-distance romance / relationship. I've never experienced being pulled towards someone lik...
A. 17 June 2017: I think the only reason you're having these feelings is because he's getting married and you feel like you're going to 'lose' him.
I don't think deep down you're in love with him due to the simple fact of having years to make something happen b... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wanted to use an old tube of lubricant during sex but I got upset because he's used it with previous partners. Am I being silly?
Q. Hi Everyone, So I have a bit of an awkward question, but genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting and too embarrassed too ask friends/family. So my boyfriend of 1 year has had a tube of lubricant in his drawer for a while, I noticed it a whil...
A. 16 June 2017: Yeah, I think you're overreacting.
You're not watching a sex tape of him with a previous partner, you were about to use some lube, to have sex, with HIM.
Maybe if it was a sex toy now that would be a completely different story. But a tube of lu... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that I want to return to my husband. He can become abusive and violent
Q. I am currently separated from my husband as he is staying with his family abroad due to family matters. My husband can have an extremely bad temper and I have always been scared of him and nervous around him and not the happy person I used to be be...
A. 15 June 2017: DO NOT get back with this man.
You know his tendencies and they will not change or get better.
As you said, if you go to his home country he can do whatever he likes. You will literally be trapped. You would be VERY, VERY silly to take hi... (read in full...)
How do I tell a good friend that I don't like him romantically?
Q. So..I have a guyfriend whom I've known for over 5 years. He once told me in the past he liked me but I didnt feel the same way. I never did. He texted he likes me and wants a response. How should I say I don't like him romantically. He's a good ...
A. 15 June 2017: You need to be straight with him and tell him you don't see him that way. Be prepared for him to distance himself though as you know he likes you more than a friend.
To be honest, I think it would be quite unfair of you to keep trying to hang out... (read in full...)
What are his intentions? Talk everyday long distance?
Q. First and foremost, I know we cannot be together due to the distance. I understand that but how he comes across he seems eager, happy and loves talking to me a lot! Met this guy about 5 months ago on an app and we live 10 hours away from each o...
A. 15 June 2017: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-are-his-intentions-if-he-messages-me.html... (read in full...)
What are his intentions? Talk everyday long distance?
Q. First and foremost, I know we cannot be together due to the distance. I understand that but how he comes across he seems eager, happy and loves talking to me a lot! Met this guy about 5 months ago on an app and we live 10 hours away from each o...
A. 15 June 2017: You have already posted a question about this recently. I really don't think you'll get different answers.... (read in full...)
Why do people behave so weirdly online vs in real life?
Q. why do people behave so weirdly online vs in real life? i know i do it too, and i just want to know the reasons. i go to college with a guy i really like and who i think really likes me, we go out together all the time, and we make plans together ...
A. 15 June 2017: I don't really think that your worry is about the online vs in person thing. I think you more want to know where you stand with this guy but you're too afraid to ask.
The last part of your post: 'should you reply fast or slow to not look keen' - ... (read in full...)
It's been five days and I haven't heard from him.. How can this be resolved?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few months. The relationship has been really rocky lately but we continued to try and work through it. A couple of weeks ago we broke up because we have been arguing too much and he didn't seem to w...
A. 15 June 2017: Do you think this is how someone who loves you would treat you? At like a spoilt brat and not contact you for 5 days? Surely someone who loves you would want to resolve whatever problems you have as soon as possible.... (read in full...)
I'm devastated because I tried my hardest but I couldn't make it to the Universities of my choice. How do I break the news to my parents?
Q. Hi everyone, I literally just got my results of my exams today and unfortunately i did not make the requirements of the universities i have chosen. I fell a little short of the requirements so its not too bad. The problem is, both unis actual...
A. 14 June 2017: Your parents will not be disappointed in you.
They know how hard you have tried for this, but sometimes life doesn't give you what you want and there's nothing you can do besides suck it up.
You're very young and you have the best years ahead... (read in full...)
Worried he will drop me if I don't go further
Q. I am 14 and i have been in this relationship with this boy we have been dating for 3 months and i really like him. The thing is normally we would shift and kiss and all that but he said that he wants to top me this means to take off my shirt and ...
A. 14 June 2017: Why would you be worried about 'losing' someone who pressures you into doing things you don't want to do?
Tell him no. If he carries on trying, then this guy clearly does not respect you.
You're also very young to be getting involved in sexu... (read in full...)
We meet just once a month for sex. This isn't a healthy relationship, right? Should I let him go?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 9 months and he works full time. I only see him once a month and when I do see him it's only for sex. I understand that he has a crazy work schedule but once a month? We've had problems before because he was ...
A. 14 June 2017: This IS NOT a relationship.
This is a man using you for sex. If that's not what you want, block him, delete him and move on.... (read in full...)
Do I stand my ground or make up with my mother?
Q. Hi folks. I'm in a bit of a predicament at the moment. I have my child's christening coming up this week and haven't invited my mother. Now I know that sounds awful but here's why (sorry for the essay) Basically all our lives my mum...
A. 13 June 2017: I'm agree with what's been said.
Just because they're your parents doesn't mean they're good people to be in your life. Personally, my dad has never been around for me and my life has been provided for me by my mum and grandparents. I wouldn't... (read in full...)
It's been five days and I haven't heard from him.. How can this be resolved?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few months. The relationship has been really rocky lately but we continued to try and work through it. A couple of weeks ago we broke up because we have been arguing too much and he didn't seem to w...
A. 13 June 2017: I think that's the least of your worries.
You two just aren't on the same page and I think you're wasting your time with this guy.... (read in full...)
It's been five days and I haven't heard from him.. How can this be resolved?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few months. The relationship has been really rocky lately but we continued to try and work through it. A couple of weeks ago we broke up because we have been arguing too much and he didn't seem to w...
A. 13 June 2017: Take this as the relationship is over.
He sounds like a child and does nothing but let you down from what I can gather.
To me the whole relationship sounds toxic, nothing but arguing. You described nothing positive about it so what exactly are... (read in full...)
My partner is falling for his ex and although I know I should end things I love him!
Q. I've been in my relationship now for almost 6 years and engaged for 2 of those years. (No date for marriage due to both of us being at risk of redundancy) and over 5 years ago we had a problem with my partners work colleague. To give a little ba...
A. 13 June 2017: Yes, you are being silly.
If this man truly loved you and saw you as his future do you think there would be another woman in the picture?
Yes you love him, but love isn't always enough for two people to live happily ever after. Do you honestly ... (read in full...)
Six years together and she doesn't want to commit
Q. My girlfriend of six years can’t commit. She doesn’t want to be tied down. She lives in my house but only pays towards the services – gas, electricity etc. She pays nothing towards household items but does buy some of the food. I can’t get her ...
A. 13 June 2017: You've already lost her.
Have some dignity and break up, you're letting her walk all over you. You can get your life back, tell her if she's not ready to commit then you're not going to be taken advantage of.... (read in full...)
I thought I put him in the friendzone but does he like me more?
Q. Ok, I have become good friends with a guy I met through work. We have known each other for about 6 months now. When we first became friends I wasn't looking for a relationship and it seemed as if he wasn't either,as he said so. I told him not to ...
A. 12 June 2017: Do friends 'fondle' each other?
He either wants a relationship or sex. If YOU see him as a friend, don't let it get to the point where there's the chance of intimacy occurring.
If you don't want anything serious then you're basically leadin... (read in full...)
How do I test if he is commited?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months but I have known him about 2 years. I started off being wary of him (for various reasons relating to the past 2 years) but he made a really big effort to tell me he was serious about where the ...
A. 12 June 2017: If you're even having to ask this question I think you already know where he's at.
If he wanted to see you he would make it known. Don't forget that effort is both ways though, why can't you ask to see him?
... (read in full...)
Fear I'll always be comparing new guys to my ex
Q. My ex and I broke up almost exactly 1 month ago. It was one of the most painful breakups I've ever experienced. I thought our relationship was really good. He was incredibly considerate, kind, and dependable. He was always going out of his way to ...
A. 11 June 2017: I'm pretty sure you asked for advice not song long back, your post sounds very familiar regarding your breakup.
It's still very fresh, of course this is going to happen, you're no where near close to getting over your ex. All you can do is give ... (read in full...)
Is it right for me to settle for this man?
Q. I am dating this guy he is a friend who has loved me for years. I love him as a person but am not sexually attracted to him. I have a list of reasons for staying and a list for leaving I want people's opinions: staying: He really likes me a...
A. 11 June 2017: The very fact that you're here asking this question shows that he's not the right person for you.
If you want to be with someone and spend your life with them you will KNOW without having to ask for advice.
Also the fact that you're not sexua... (read in full...)
What can I do? How should I handle this? Her sexual past and her ex who was her FWB are issues that are making me feel insecure.
Q. Ok so me and my gf have been going out for about 8 months. And I've been struggling with her sexual past a lot recently. She's slept with about 10 people before me, they were all ons apart from one friends with benefits she had just before we start...
A. 11 June 2017: What she did before she met you has nothing to do with you.
You were happy enough to get into a relationship with her so it's very unfair to use anything she's done sexually in the past against her.
I'd say unless you feel like you'll ever be a... (read in full...)
Feeling un-easy about my gf going on cruise. Am I going to be cheated on during the cruise?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is going on a cruise with her family for a week here soon, I am just kinda of un-easy because of all the stories I've heard about what happens on cruises. I'm her first ever bf and she's never given me a reason to suspect ...
A. 11 June 2017: What on earth have you heard about cruises?
If she is going to cheat on you, she will cheat on you whether she goes on this cruise or not.
If you can't trust her then break up with her.... (read in full...)
Upset because I was not included on a night out
Q. If you were not invited to a work social event and 3/4 the rest of your female colleagues were would you feel left out? It was a one colleague's 24th birthday, and later that same day another colleague's, who is 29, hens/bachellorette dinner. Pic...
A. 11 June 2017: Wouldn't lose a second of sleep over it.
Work is work, you're there to do a job, it's not a social event.... (read in full...)
Male FWB wants me to finger him and I don't want this. Am I being over sensitive?
Q. I just got into a casual fling type relationship with a guy at uni, he's in his final year and leaving this summer so its only for a few months. We haven't had sex yet but have been making out etc. When we were making out last night with undies ...
A. 10 June 2017: It's nothing to do with being oversensitive.
If you don't want to do something sexually, don't do it, simple as that.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been mock hitting me
Q. Hi, we've been in a relationship my boyfriend and I for 8 mth, we live together, he is a musician, gets hard for him to be talkative so I beleive he is not that skillful linguistically, and I understand the musician he is and how introvert he could ...
A. 10 June 2017: Okay so if you're not the type of person to 'leave' and the good time outweighs the bad, why are you asking for opinions at all as you're clearly going to ignore them?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been mock hitting me
Q. Hi, we've been in a relationship my boyfriend and I for 8 mth, we live together, he is a musician, gets hard for him to be talkative so I beleive he is not that skillful linguistically, and I understand the musician he is and how introvert he could ...
A. 9 June 2017: I agree with the others.
How long until he actually starts hitting you?... (read in full...)
The 60 year old professor doesn't know me. Advice, please? Should I tell him my feelings for him?
Q. hello guys, I have a crush on my professor, he is 60 years old, it been more than 2 years, I don't know what to do. I'm always thinking of him. He is so smart and handsome, I like his personality and smile. I feel I need to know him,and talk...
A. 8 June 2017: I think it's a terrible idea personally:
He's over double your age
Is he even gay?
Does he have a family?
He is in a professional position where any kind of romantic dealings would probably result in disciplinary action
What woul... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my FWB and feel I just may regret it. Am I being gullible ?
Q. I had fallen in love with my fwb and wanted more but he was not ready to formalize an already existing relationship. we are already acting like a real couple...so why not just acknowledge it. this was four months of being lovers( sex was ...
A. 7 June 2017: Yes, you are.
If you guys were going to get into a relationship you would already be in one.
He is feeding you bullshit you get into your pants and you're allowing him to do it. Tell him no, you are not sleeping with anyone that you're not ... (read in full...)
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