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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?
Q. I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...
A. 21 August 2017: Please, please do not go back to this man.
What will it take for you to realise he is NOT a good man? Good men don't attack people, let alone someone they're supposed to love. You are safe where you are, please stay that way.
Honestly, thi... (read in full...)
Do any men have this problem? I cannot orgasm from oral sex
Q. This has been bothering me for a fair few years. Even more so that my wife has tried to help. I have unfortunately never cum from a blowjob, ever. I think it bothers me so much because i really enjoy them. Its like listening to your favourite s...
A. 24 April 2017: I'm with chigirl.
Your brother took your innocence and ruined your childhood and you're doing yourself an injustice by letting him get away with it. I'm sorry you had to experience what you did.
Inform the police and get therapy. You sho... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend be posting photos of the guy she was seeing when we were broken up?
Q. Hi, Recently broke up with my girlfriend and in our break we both were sexually active. The girl I slept with is around at all but the guy is as he's her friend. We got back together recently and she still posts photos of her with him and usually ...
A. 24 April 2017: Yeah I think this relationship has run its course also. Breaks Only occur in dead relationships.
How can breaking up for a short while and sleeping with someone else save your relationship? Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.
There's... (read in full...)
Have I finally caught his interest.... is he into me
Q. Okay so I've posted a few times on here about this dude, similar taste in music etc You guys always responded with his not interested but things have progressed. First he took interest in one of my old hobbies then he disappeared for a while....
A. 23 April 2017: Who knows what he's thinking. He may like you, he may see you as a friend, we can't answer that.
Just go with it and see what happens.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Are there any telltale ways to see if he sees me just as a sister/friend?
Q. Hey guys, first of all, thanks for stopping by, even if you don't plan on answering. I will cut to the chase: I'm a 20 year old girl, and I really like this 25 year old boy, whom I met over the internet. Our locations are too far away to go see e...
A. 21 April 2017: If you're never going to meet then why are you even wasting your time?
Even if he does see you in a romantic way what can you do over the Internet?... (read in full...)
Do you think a relationship can form out of our FWB situation?
Q. Hi Im in a fwb setup with a friend for the past one year.he ended the setup twice in this year for a couple of months and now it started again. Recently he had brought up the topic of where i saw myself 5 years from now..been cuddling after th...
A. 21 April 2017: At the end of the day he's still a human being. He enjoys your company. I've been in a fwb that didn't end in a relationship with someone that I liked, but she still acted like you described in your post.
You'd have to be seriously cold hearted ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't make any real effort to lose weight despite wanting to
Q. I've been in relationship with my girlfriend for about 7 months now. I liked her for her personality and character but her weight had always bothered me right from the start. She was actually slim just under 2 year back(she looked amazing) but gai...
A. 21 April 2017: Yeah, I'm with the other posters about her weight not being an issue.
YOU are SERIOUSLY underweight. I'm 1.75m and weigh 82kg. Maybe you need to hit the gym, how do you know she doesn't think youre too skinny? ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self?
Q. Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self? My boyfriend has depression which is not diagnosed but I've had it previously and know he does now. I've done everything I ...
A. 21 April 2017: No, it's good that you've realised this before he starts to drag you down with him. If he won't seek help there's nothing at all you can do for him I'm afraid.... (read in full...)
Do you think a relationship can form out of our FWB situation?
Q. Hi Im in a fwb setup with a friend for the past one year.he ended the setup twice in this year for a couple of months and now it started again. Recently he had brought up the topic of where i saw myself 5 years from now..been cuddling after th...
A. 20 April 2017: This is not going anywhere. He has very clearly told you he doesn't see you as a suitable girlfriend.... (read in full...)
Why do girls do things that make them unapproachable and rude?
Q. Why do girls always have to be glued to each other or have their noses in their phones or in a book? Don't they realize that makes them unapproachable and that it's just plain rude? Also, they do the same things on dates too and act rudely just to ...
A. 20 April 2017: What are you classing as being sweet? I don't think people would call you a stalker for no reason.
You draw girls that are taken? You just walk around drawing girls?
This is a very odd question that I can't really make Sense of.... (read in full...)
Do I call this married man?
Q. I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...
A. 20 April 2017: You can leave him alone, very easily.
Block his number and you can't contact him, problem solved.
You just DONT want to stop contacting him. This man will NEVER leave his wife for you, so what exactly could you gain from this arrangement? You... (read in full...)
Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?
Q. I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...
A. 19 April 2017: This is exactly what abusers do 'I will change, it won't happen again'
No, it won't happen at all from someone who loves you. Don't let him sucker you back in, you will regret it.... (read in full...)
I stumbled across hidden videos in my girlfriends computer of her having sex with her ex
Q. I am engaged to my dream girl and our relationship is perfect. We've been together for 2 years now and We are the perfect couple... or so I thought.. Things changed when I found some things on her lap top. I needed to finish up a report but forgo...
A. 19 April 2017: I'm with the other posters, you need to talk to her or you will be driven mad.
Get her side of the story and maybe you can move past it.... (read in full...)
A week after losing my beloved dog, my partner wants to split up with me
Q. 4 weeks ago my gorgeous staffy died. She was 15 years old. I got her from rescue when she was 18 months old. I am still heartbroken over her death. I knew it was coming as she hadn't been herself for a while and she was on steroids. I had to get ...
A. 18 April 2017: Can this be salvaged? Is he willing to talk and fight or is his mind made up? If he will talk communicate clearly to deal with the problem as soon as possible. If he's made his mind up then you need to let him go and remove all forms of contact so ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet
Q. I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...
A. 18 April 2017: Already taken*... (read in full...)
Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet
Q. I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...
A. 18 April 2017: My guess is he's always taken and you're a little secret.
I don't know many girlfriends that haven't met their bfs family and friends after 4 years. Especially when he flat out rejects letting you meet them. It can't be too soon as an excuse e... (read in full...)
He pressured me for sex, even started undressing me. But disappeared when I revealed my status as a virgin!
Q. I went for a few dates with a guy. He was very insitent about sex but everytime I refused him he was ok and still wanted more dates with me. He tried to get me at his place after our very first date and at our second too, but i refused. However we ...
A. 18 April 2017: This guy is an asshole.
You are lucky that you DID tell him you're a Virgin so that he pissed off and left you alone. He is an absolute sex pest and I'm 99.9% sure the second you gave it up you wouldn't hear from him again anyways.
A perso... (read in full...)
Should work always come first for my boyfriend, even in case of a minor medical emergency like mine?
Q. My boyfriend of one year works from home. We live together. He's the project manager of a small but successful company. He works at least 10 hours a day. I had severe stomach pains yesterday which came back this morning, so my boyfriend took m...
A. 18 April 2017: If he has upset you, tell him. How else could he know how you're feeling unless you tell him?... (read in full...)
I thought my fiance didn't love his ex wife but his old Facebook post seemed to imply otherwise
Q. I am so disappointed please tell me if I'm over reacting. I found an old post from 6 years ago on my Fiancé face book on his marriage anniversary stating how lucky he was to have her and he hit a jackpot and hope this happiness never ends! I know ...
A. 18 April 2017: I think at some point for then to get to the stage of marriage he must of felt some strong feelings to her even if he denies it.
Unless the marriage was for some purpose such as allowing someone to stay in a country they shouldnt be in, then I'm... (read in full...)
I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.
Q. In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....
A. 15 April 2017: I think I phrased that incorrectly. I dont mean always choose friends to be correct over partners as that's not always the case, I meant it as it's not worth losing a best friend over a partner if they've already been together.... (read in full...)
I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.
Q. In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....
A. 15 April 2017: You don't go after best friends exes.
Friends Partners ALWAYS
... (read in full...)
Can this very complex relationship work?
Q. Ok so to start with I'm in a fairly new relationship with a girl who I do care quite a lot for and I feel this relationship is worth persevering with. When we are together things are really great. Since the beginning we seem to be very comforta...
A. 15 April 2017: Id say no. It doesn't sound like you're happy with the level of communication and if this is only the start of the relationship I can't see it getting any better. This is the honeymoon period and you're already having problems.
If I were you I'd ... (read in full...)
Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?
Q. I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...
A. 13 April 2017: I read the title and said 'Leave'.
I then gave it the benefit of the doubt and started reading. Got to 'he started hitting me' and said 'Leave' again.
You're right, there is something there, probably your cause of death.... (read in full...)
My husband and his co-worker have feelings for each other. What should I do?
Q. Let me start from the beginning if I may. About 2 weeks ago my husband said one of his supervisors at the factory where he works 3rd shift came up to him while he was loading a truck and harassed him about being too close to a girl who has a bad re...
A. 13 April 2017: I agree with the other posters, you're giving them both full control of the situation. This is YOUR marriage. You either tell him he stays and fights and this other girl is gone, or he is out of your life for good.
You shouldn't be dealing ... (read in full...)
My unidentified online friend has reappeared on line. It is him. Should I reveal who I am to him?
Q. Hi I have a difficult situation. A year ago I met a guy online. All was good but then he stopped texting. Last month we matched on a different website. Neither of us have a photo up. From what he has told me I know this guy is the one who I m...
A. 13 April 2017: I think there was probably a reason you guys stopped speaking last time. If he thought there was the same connection I don't think he would of randomly disappeared.
Sure go ahead and reveal who you are but be prepared for him possibly disappea... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have a friend with benefits he isn't attracted to?
Q. I met a fellow on a dating site a few months ago with the mutually-agreed-on purpose of only having sex. Since then, we've continued to hook up, but it's been happening less and less - from several times a week to once every 1-2 weeks - although he ...
A. 12 April 2017: I don't think a guy would repeatedly have sex with someone they don't find attractive. Unless they're very, very desperate I'd imagine.
Maybe he's speaking to someone else, he's also told you he's busy with work which could both be very viable r... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't make a deal out of this or read too much into it. But out of curiosity, does he like me or does he like me as a friend?
Q. Hi everyone :) So ive been studying a new course for about 7 months. So like there's a guy, lets just refer to him as W. at the beginning of the term, i rarely spoke to him because of the age difference we have. he's turning 22 and i'm 18. Anyw...
A. 12 April 2017: Well he hasn't asked you out or anything, so nothing to me suggest he likes you more than friends.
If you don't want more than friends and he hasn't given any sort of indication then what's the worry?... (read in full...)
We've split up, yet he wants to stay friends? Should I wait for him? Help !
Q. Hi everyone, I am a 27 male, who was in a relationship with a 25 male. We have each had long term relationships in the past but this felt like something else! We had instant chemistry, a great connection. After a few months he started ...
A. 11 April 2017: He's being very selfish, he wants his cake and to eat it too.
I don't think it's fair for him to make you wait, but id say in the back of his mind he knows he has some hold over you. It's never nice to be rejected and it only makes you want the... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 11 April 2017: What exactly is he worried about?
His shyness sounds very odd for someone of is age.... (read in full...)
Trying to avoid attending a work function. What are some good excuses I could use?
Q. I've been asked to go to a work meeting that I really want to avoid. The meeting is a 3 hour train ride from where I live so I would have to leave very early and get home late. I don't have any children or pets that I can use as an excuse. Are ther...
A. 11 April 2017: Friend or relatives birthday?
Medical appointment?
... (read in full...)
How one person changed my life
Q. I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
A. 11 April 2017: This was a very interesting read, thank you for sharing.... (read in full...)
A women with a boyfriend/kids is texting my boyfriend and he texts back. I'm not happy about this!
Q. I am not sure whether to stay with my boyfriend. We have been together for two months. We had some arguments and i said that i didnt want to see him anymore. I only said that because i was angry that he eas being horrible to me. I told him that i ...
A. 11 April 2017: This relationship sounds like a disaster. 2 months in and you're already at each others throats and he's messaging other women in a sexual manner.
What exactly is making you stay?... (read in full...)
Men, do you stare off have intense eye sex with women if you are not interested in them?
Q. Hello world! I'm writing to you men out there, or women who feel they can provide insight!! About a year ago I was entranced in a cafe by the most beautiful young man I have ever seen. Although that wasn't what entranced me: he was sittin...
A. 11 April 2017: I've never heard anyone wonder about anything like this before and honestly...it sounds a tad childish.
You're both adults. If you're interested in him, tell him, ask him out and then you will have your answer without these little games. ... (read in full...)
Should I push for the both of us making more of an effort in our relationship? Or should I accept that this is the way things are now.?
Q. I am currently in an almost 2 year relationship with my boyfriend and don't get me wrong I am very happy. Although, recently I can't stop thinking about the times before we got together, the sort of 'getting to know each other phase' sounds stupid ...
A. 7 April 2017: I think you are unhappy or you wouldn't be here asking for advice.
Yes, of course you should demand change. What kind of relationship shouldn't fulfill your needs?... (read in full...)
He still ignores me but I love him! Advice?
Q. Actually I had a boyfriend with whom I broke up 10months ago.the reason for our breakup is he ignores me. He is not behaving as we are before the relationship. He was not at all bothered about my feelings and more over his girl best friend told him ...
A. 7 April 2017: You can leave him.
He is pretty obviously just using you to Wait until something better comes along. Stop letting him treat you like crap, grow a back bone and dump him.... (read in full...)
Should I stay? Am I ready to move on? Please help me
Q. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for about a year and three months, I can honestly say I am so in love with him it's hard because he is 5 hours away because he is in the navy. He is from where I live, since he came into my life he because so ...
A. 5 April 2017: Am I reading this correctly?
He has broke your trust by not messaging you when he's at a concert or he's drunk? Those are the reasons your relationship is failing?
I'm sorry but that made me laugh. If that's all you're worrying about in your re... (read in full...)
Are there any signs that he still loves me? I caught him cheating
Q. i recently broke with my ex. he was having an affair with another girl and when i asked he denied it. we broke up and he said he is not a suitable guy for me and my family. but we still do video calls and talk for the whole night. actually we talk ...
A. 4 April 2017: Do you know for certain he was cheating or is it just a suspicion?... (read in full...)
Second time I've caught my b/f texting other girls! Do I end things?
Q. I caught my boyfriend messaging other girls twice on Facebook and I don't know what to do. The first time was last summer when I went on holiday. I coincidentally met a girl (seriously small country, everyone pretty much knows each other) who ...
A. 4 April 2017: Seriously? Because they didn't all reply it's not that bad?
Believe me, from a males perspective this guy would cheat given the opportunity. I would be VERY surprised if he hasn't tried getting with someone on his holiday considering he has no p... (read in full...)
Are there any signs that he still loves me? I caught him cheating
Q. i recently broke with my ex. he was having an affair with another girl and when i asked he denied it. we broke up and he said he is not a suitable guy for me and my family. but we still do video calls and talk for the whole night. actually we talk ...
A. 4 April 2017: If he's cheating on you and you're still sleeping with him then you're enabling his cheating lifestyle.
Grow a backbone and block him from your life.... (read in full...)
Is there really such a thing as being at different stages in life?
Q. I never see ages gaps as a problem but now I'm doubting that maybe we are at different stages of our life. I took some time to realise university is what I wanted and when I started my first year my partner had completed his and is 4 years ahead on ...
A. 4 April 2017: Yes I think so definitely.
Two people can care about each other massively but want different things just as you've described.
I think your BF is being very controlling if he's trying to stop you speaking to male friends. He has NO SAY AT AL... (read in full...)
He was sexting but now has given me all his passwords!
Q. I am 19 found out a few days ago that my boyfriend whose 22 was sexting a girl in a different state for 2 days. He did not tell me. The whole month he was hiding this he was pushing us having a future and a "forever". His best friend told him he ...
A. 4 April 2017: You cannot be serious, is spot on, you either trust him or you don't.
If you don't think he will do it again and you forgive him give him another chance. If you think it will happen again then leave. ... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 4 April 2017: Just go for it man, ask her out.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 3 April 2017: Just for another males point of view if I'm speaking to someone that I like, I will make a move within the first month. 2 months maximum.... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 3 April 2017: If he hasn't made a move in 3 years I really don't think he's interested. That was an extremely lame excuse which he provided.... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 3 April 2017: If he likes you why hasn't he made a move already?
Believe me, if a guy likes a girl enough he will make it known. If he's had various chances to make a move and hasn't then he's either not interested or more than likely a messer.
Why wou... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 3 April 2017: Youwish has it right, it''s very easy to say 'don't catch feelings' it's not as easy in practice.
Friends don't sleep with each other. The second you did that the friendship is over and it becomes a whole new ball game.
What's the worst that c... (read in full...)
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