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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 11 April 2017: What exactly is he worried about?
His shyness sounds very odd for someone of is age.... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 4 April 2017: Just go for it man, ask her out.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he's the one that got away?
Q. I been having thoughts that i want my ex boyfriend back, it is impossible because he's already engaged for a year now. What makes it even weirder is that we broke up 4 years ago. So i was dating with my ex for couple of months, we broke up because i ...
A. 4 April 2017: Why do you keep going back to your exes?
They are an ex for a reason, move forwards with your life not backwards. There are plenty of guys out there.... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 3 April 2017: Just for another males point of view if I'm speaking to someone that I like, I will make a move within the first month. 2 months maximum.... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 3 April 2017: If he hasn't made a move in 3 years I really don't think he's interested. That was an extremely lame excuse which he provided.... (read in full...)
Do I let him make a move or speed things up?
Q. Hi, I have used this site before about a guy let's call him "Gibbs" who is 9 years older than me, I'm now nearly 19 (him being nearly 28). A couple of weeks ago I managed to corner him alone and I'm sure he was about to kiss me, unfortunately my ...
A. 3 April 2017: If he likes you why hasn't he made a move already?
Believe me, if a guy likes a girl enough he will make it known. If he's had various chances to make a move and hasn't then he's either not interested or more than likely a messer.
Why wou... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 3 April 2017: Youwish has it right, it''s very easy to say 'don't catch feelings' it's not as easy in practice.
Friends don't sleep with each other. The second you did that the friendship is over and it becomes a whole new ball game.
What's the worst that c... (read in full...)
How do I get over someone I have never been in a relationship with?
Q. I really need advice on how to get over someone. It's really complicated because we have never been in a relationship , but I feel like I have fallen harder than ever before, and also have been kept dangling by him because he knows I really lik him. ...
A. 3 April 2017: I have been in the exact same situation, still in the process of getting over it to be honest. It is getting a lot easier now though.
Here's a few points that I think may of made it so hard for me, maybe some of these apply to you, maybe not:
... (read in full...)
My ex said he wanted us to be together. A week later he said he didn't mean it like that. I'm angry and confused.
Q. He’s 28, I’m 27. We were together 4 years and he left me 6 months ago. He's now in a relationship an 18 year old. He’s kept in touch with me all the time since our break up (always him initiating). Last week he told me he misses me and that he k...
A. 1 April 2017: He is stringing you along. If he KNOWS, that you were meant to be together then why did he leave you for someone else? Does that make any sense to you? Because it doesn't to me. Stop listening to anything this guy has to say. BLOCK and delete... (read in full...)
I'm ok with my sexless relationship but my friends think it's weird
Q. Hi there , I have been with my partner a year and a half yet in all that time we have only had sex 10 times we cuddle kiss hold hands but nothing more he was honest from the start and said he wasn't very sexual, this is ok with me however my friends ...
A. 31 March 2017: It's nothing to do with your friends. If you and your BF are happy then go with it.... (read in full...)
I'm very happy in my relationship but why do I suddenly want to contact my abusive ex to tell him how awful he was to me?
Q. When I was 16-18 I dated an emotionally and physically abusive man who was a little older than me. My first time was with him and it wasn't something I wanted, but we were somehow together for a couple years. When it ended, it didn't properly end. . ...
A. 31 March 2017: As usual I agree with Honeypie.
I was also going to suggest writing it all down, letting absolutely everything out with no filter and if necessary and you feel like you may, let the tears out too.
Get everything out in the open. Under NO C... (read in full...)
If he didn't care about anything with me, why would he stop talking to me?
Q. This one is complicated. I've had a thing for one of my guy friends for almost three years. I admitted my feelings to him before heading out of town to visit family at Christmas. He said he was flattered but into someone else. I understood and didn...
A. 31 March 2017: This guy was using you for sex, he is NOT a good person. He knows you like him and used it to his advantage for an easy lay.
Wouldnt waste my time worrying if he's mad, I'd be more focused on dropping him from my life.... (read in full...)
We still see each other and its just like before, but without the romance. Is there any hope for us?
Q. Hi everyone, I've never written on here before but I kind of have ran out of options. A little over two months ago, I was placed in an art class at my high school. I noticed a guy in the class who I had never seen before in school, he was very att...
A. 30 March 2017: I agree with the other posters. Would you rather he dump you a month into it or a year down the line?
He realised a relationship isn't viable for him at the moment and was honest and open with you about it.
Respect his wishes. If you need ... (read in full...)
Was I being used, by her ?
Q. I was dating a girl for 5 weeks – I felt there was something special there and every time we met there was always at least one point where we both laughed so hard we were crying. We even had cute pet names for each other (I called her peach). ...
A. 28 March 2017: You're doing well, keep up the no contact and leave it that way.
She's clearly unsure of what she wants and it's not fair to drag you into the middle of that. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's insecurity is chipping away at our relationship
Q. So I am having some serious issues in my relationship and I don't know how to deal with them. I am coming here for some much needed perspective. To start, I'm a gay female. 33 years old. My girlfriend is 27. We have what I would normally conside...
A. 28 March 2017: This is how she normally is though. Doesnt sound like she's ever been different from your description.
I don't think there's anything you can do to help with her insecurities. Sounds like she needs councilling.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him how he feels now? Or wait a while before I ask?
Q. Hi, I have a relationship issue and would love some advice! For the past nine months I have been in an ambiguous relationship with my housemate. We started sleeping together last summer. I knew he had fancied me for a while and he even starte...
A. 28 March 2017: People get theirselves into tough situations, I've been in one myself that had no happy ending for either of us so I know how hard it is.
You need to tell yourself how much of your time you're wasting, someone out there will not treat you like thi... (read in full...)
Should I ask him how he feels now? Or wait a while before I ask?
Q. Hi, I have a relationship issue and would love some advice! For the past nine months I have been in an ambiguous relationship with my housemate. We started sleeping together last summer. I knew he had fancied me for a while and he even starte...
A. 28 March 2017: You don't need advice, you know exactly what to do but you just don't want to do it.
This guy DOES NOT want anything serious with you. He IS NOT leading you on at all, you know where you stand with him yet you're still going back everytim... (read in full...)
Was he lying about his reasons for blocking me?
Q. I was dating a guy and he was leaving on duty for a couple weeks. He lied to me about deleting social media, he actually ended up blocking me. When I caught him in his lie, he said anxiety and paranoia made him delete me, he thought I would stalk ...
A. 27 March 2017: Question is why do you care?
He clearly doesn't want you in his life so stop wasting your time thinking about him.... (read in full...)
I want more sex but he would rather masturbate to porn with young girls with boobs!
Q. We have lived together 2.5 years. I'm 44 with 2 grown up kids living at home, he is 40. He works 10.5 hour days with an extra hour on top for travelling and claims to be too tired for sex. We will usually have sex once a week, sometimes twice a week ...
A. 27 March 2017: You've told him 5 times youre not happy and he's still not changed. What are you expecting from telling him again?
Leaving someone from not being sexually satisfied is a perfectly valid reason yout know.
Sounds like he's set in his ways and ... (read in full...)
I've met the perfect guy but after getting back in contact with my ex I am confused
Q. I’ve been dating this seemingly perfect guy for the past couple of months and honestly the way he is with me and treats me is just perfect. I have a ‘check list’ of everything I want in a man he is everything and more BUT... Out of the blue my ex ...
A. 27 March 2017: He is an ex for a reason.
You said things were toxic, so what makes you think anything will be different this time? I think you're right when you said you're fixated on the fantasy of what could be, but it never will be that way or it already ... (read in full...)
I'm dating someone new but don't think I'm over my ex. Should I let the new guy go?
Q. I am 28, In November I was dumped through whatsapp by my ex who I was madly in love with I was only with him for 4 months but I felt so much love for him after one month I got pregnant and had a n abortion and it totally messed me up as o didn't ...
A. 26 March 2017: If you're not ready, you're not ready.
You need to work on yourself first and get rid of any issues and doubt you have.... (read in full...)
Going silent on me after I asked him how he felt about me by telling me he would talk to me when he is ready.
Q. Hi. I don't know what to make of my bf's behavior. I asked him a week and a half ago ago who he felt about me, because we are in a long distance relationship and do not get to see one another very often. I don't know how he feels about me, th...
A. 26 March 2017: It's a manipulation tactic in my eyes, makes you feel like you're in the wrong and on edge waiting for a response.
Keeps you wondering what's going on and you're wanting to please him.... (read in full...)
Please confirm my doubts
Q. I've been with my bf for 2.5yrs (living with him 1.7yrs).I've noticed that on his Facebook, he has lots of females "friends" (as he calls). I haven't used FB and had shut it down years ago as I prefer Linkedin. His account has been open to me but ...
A. 25 March 2017: My question for you, what is making you stay?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry
Q. My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...
A. 25 March 2017: well if you think he's going to cheat again you're on a long, slippery slope.
You can't live thinking he's going to cheat. Either suck it up or go ahead with the break up.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry
Q. My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...
A. 25 March 2017: No, massively over reacting.
This is to do with HIS JOB. Maybe if he was out with his friends at a strip club you would have a case.
The fact that you're willing to leave him over this makes you sound like a child yet you're in the 36-40 age ca... (read in full...)
Her past bothers me, though I do like our sex life!
Q. Hey guys, I've been dating a girl for a few months and it's going really great, but her past has come up more than a few times (mainly by me) her lifestyle bothers me a bit she's 22 and loves to club. Has had 12 sexual partners her last dude wa...
A. 25 March 2017: Have you had sex before her or were you a virgin?
If not, why shouldn't she leave you??
Everyone has a past, if you're truly willing to give up what you have because she has sexual history before you then I'm sorry but you're an idiot.
You... (read in full...)
We are really close friends but I want more!
Q. I really need some help. For the last 2 and a half years I've been crazy about this girl. We have known each other for years, and are extremely close friends. Over the last couple of years, we've been close to becoming more than friends a few times. ...
A. 18 March 2017: There was a pretty much identical question to this asked a few days ago it's the same country, gender and age group which doesn't happen a great deal these days anymore, apologies for assuming.
If you insist on being in each other's lives then the... (read in full...)
We are really close friends but I want more!
Q. I really need some help. For the last 2 and a half years I've been crazy about this girl. We have known each other for years, and are extremely close friends. Over the last couple of years, we've been close to becoming more than friends a few times. ...
A. 18 March 2017: You asked about this already. You won't get different answers.
If you were going to become something it would of happened in that 2.5 years. Don't kid yourself man.
You need to end the friendship or you will never get over her, sure it sucks an... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 17 March 2017: That is NOT your problem. He is manipulating you. If you have evidence of him saying this then show it to the police so that he can get the help he needs, this is not for you to deal with.... (read in full...)
I said "I love you" but he's not at that point and now I'm hurt/confused and wondering if I should break things off
Q. About two weeks ago, I found myself (regrettably) drunk after a super fun night out with a group of friends and my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for nearly 6 moths. The BF very sweetly took care of getting me to my house, getting me into my ...
A. 16 March 2017: I think you're overreacting massively.
He's not at the same stage as you, so what? He's told you he doesn't want to break up, he's just doesn't love you yet. Some people take a very long time to get to that stage, I don't think it's very likely f... (read in full...)
When would be the appropriate time to block my ex on social media?
Q. Dear Aunts, This isn't a major issue. The thing is, I have half a mind to block my ex on facebook. Because I hate him so much and would like to erase from my mind I had him in my life. I'm happy and single now but sometimes I feel very angry when ...
A. 12 March 2017: This second?
Just do it, remove him from your life.... (read in full...)
Why cry? Was she feeling guilty? My LDR is currently studying overseas. She has started a new friendship there but promised me that they would not have full sex
Q. Hello guys, My gf is studying abroad currently in a relationship with someone else, we were arguing cause i was asking how far their relationship is. The sex) She promised she wont have sex with her current BF but then when i asked if she did to h...
A. 12 March 2017: I didn't read what you were asking properly.
Thing is who cares why she was crying? She is a cheater, forget about her and move on.... (read in full...)
Why cry? Was she feeling guilty? My LDR is currently studying overseas. She has started a new friendship there but promised me that they would not have full sex
Q. Hello guys, My gf is studying abroad currently in a relationship with someone else, we were arguing cause i was asking how far their relationship is. The sex) She promised she wont have sex with her current BF but then when i asked if she did to h...
A. 12 March 2017: Dude are you being serious?
She is cheating on you, this is a lost cause, stop wasting your time.
If you even attempt to fight to save things then you are allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat.... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend? our conversations on the phone lapse into silence
Q. I'm so frustrated! What is wrong with my boyfriend? He likes to be on the phone with me but has nothing to say. It will literally be silent for half an hour and it annoys me so much to hold the phone and listen to dead air like that. When I t...
A. 12 March 2017: Surely you're not seriously on the phone for half an hour in silence...what a waste of both of your time if you do. Why would you even want to be on the phone for that long? All you need is a 5 minute catch up and surely that is enough.
Do yo... (read in full...)
Is this normal? I have never been so happy about ending a relationship.
Q. Hello. I have a very short question for those who have enough knowledge about star signs(if you don't you may google info). Short story: I am a capricorn female (21) my boyfriend (now ex) is a Pisces (23). Our relationship was full of drama bu...
A. 12 March 2017: Where do star signs come into it? Not that it matters as they're completely made up.
Why wouldn't you feel relieved? He was messing you around and now you're free from it, be glad you feel this way, make the most of it and be happy whilst moving f... (read in full...)
He said we should just let things go. What did I do wrong?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and everything has been going on just fine , we never really labelled what we were but he made sure that we hang out a lot and talk a lot. We met on tinder and at first I used to cancel until we actually...
A. 9 March 2017: Agree with the others.
I'd be extremely pissed off if I kept getting cancelled on and would eventually call it a day too.
If you're busy, DONT make plans, it's very simple. I'm not surprised he has said he doesn't want to see you anymore.... (read in full...)
I want the relationship to work. What are your opinions on flirting/ making inappropriate comments to another female while the guy is in a relationship?
Q. Please guys only (ps if advice is just shouldnt be together please do not respond. I want to make this work) Okay so guys. What are your opinions on flirting/ making inappropriate comments to another female while in a relationship. ...
A. 8 March 2017: I agree with YCBS.
Why would you ask us for advice but only want what you want to hear?
If he's openly telling other girls he would f**k them, i don't think he would stop at inappropriate comments and I'm pretty sure he would hop into bed wit... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to use him for sex?
Q. So there's this guy that fancied me. I sleep with him but don't have no feelings. Is it wrong of me using him for sex when he wants more ...
A. 6 March 2017: Yes, especially when you know how he feels.... (read in full...)
Why is he so hard to get to know?
Q. So this is a little bit of a head messer (for me anyway) So there's a guy I really like we know each other from social media and hears the thing. I message him and sometimes he replies sometimes he don't. We share a match in music taste. ...
A. 5 March 2017: I've seen you post about this 2 or 3 times now and you've got the same answers everytime.
He is NOT INTERESTED.
If he was he would of jumped at the chance of going out for a drink with you. Stop wasting your time and find someone who want... (read in full...)
Could this girl be interested in me?
Q. I stop at this petrol station sometimes. The past two, three times there's been a nice young girl there, and as at the times I go there it's not that busy, we have a chat. Somehow we got on to the topic of massages. I said that my massages may be ...
A. 4 March 2017: Yeah I don't think that meant interest, more like wtf.
If you want to find out if she's keen, ask her out instead of offering massages to strangers.... (read in full...)
Garment crisis in the carpark
Q. Hello everyone, My husband and i work in the same company different departments . So i just came from ethiopia to USA and i am experiencing cultural shocks! so the other day there is a fire alarm at work and all co-workers had to stay outside in ...
A. 4 March 2017: Sounds like he was offended that you refused his offer but accepted someone else's. refusing to speak to you for days is childish and him swearing at you is a big no no. You shouldn't have to be spoken to like that.... (read in full...)
How do I stop falling in love with my best friend?
Q. I'm in love with my best friend at college. He's not your average stud bit of a stoner, very clever and it nerdy but probably THE funniest guy I have ever met, I could be having a really shit time and I'd talk to him for like 2 minutes and he puts a ...
A. 24 February 2017: As long as you're friends you will not get over him. If I were you I'd just tell him that you need to back away from him for a while as you've developed feelings for him.
This way he doesn't think you're being off with him and it also may make... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 9 February 2017: Wow, you need to leave IMMEDIATELY.
This will not get better. He's lowered your confidence to a point where you feel like you can't cope without him. Who gives a fuck if he apologised?? That is assault and against the law, this is only going to... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 20 November 2016: Stop letting him guilt trip you. Whatever he does is his own problem, staying with him for the sake of things is worse that breaking up with him imo.
He's a wreck and a very weak person. He needs to emotionally blackmail you to stay with him. You... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 19 November 2016: Listen, he is manipulating you. You're not happy with this guy and you know you're not, you're not doing anything wrong. You guys just aren't a good match for each other and the very fact that he's threatening to kill himself shows he's mentally ... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 15 November 2016: You need to leave this guy, threatening to cut himself is NOT normal behaviour. He's saying you're overweight and need to change for HIM to want to stay with YOU.
If I had a girlfriend who dropped anything like that on me I'd be out the door and... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 11 November 2016: I'm not sure what you'll regret about breaking up with this guy. You'll find another boyfriend one day that loves everything about you and you'll look back on this guy and think what an absolute asshole, as that's what he sounds like.... (read in full...)
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