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My boyfriend's best friend hates me!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 May 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 May 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend . We have been together for over a year.

We get a long very well don't argue. My friends and family love him and his family likes me as well.

His other friends likes me . However , his best male friend doesn't like me for some reason.

Whenever I see him, I am always kind and talk to him . However, he talks more with my boyfriend which is fine.

I know before me, my boyfriend would party with them more and with me he has calmed down. I have not forced him to do so he did it on his own. I wonder if his friend doesn't like that part and blames me for it? I found out his friend tried to set up my boyfriend with a female friend that he used to like and is known to be a party goer and he is friends with his ex and tries to get his ex to come out. My boyfriend told me about this and told him he wont go to any events without me...

I trust my boyfriend, however I do not like what this friend is doing.. I am glad my boyfriend is honest and tells me about it.

Would u all say the reason his friend acts that way because he wants him to be back to his party ways or he feels I am not good enough for him ?

Also, I don't want to ruin their friendship but should I tell his friend that I know about what is going on?

Thanks so much for your help.

You are all wonderful :)

View related questions: best friend, his ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds like he is jealous off what his friend has found. He probably misses him on nights out and he blames you for it. I don't think you should say anything to the friend but ask your boyfriend to have a word with him and ask him not to be so disrespectful towards you.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (26 May 2017):

This is for your bf to sort out. He needs to tell his friend that the two of you are together now and if best friend wants to remain friends he has to be respectful of you and your relationship. If your BF is not willing to do that then you know where you stand with him.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2017):

He's jealous of how close you and your boyfriend are. Your boyfriend is loyal and man of his own mind; so he doesn't let his friends tell him what to do. So he may resent you for bringing-out that loyalty that he once had.

I would continue to be nice and ignore his bad vibes. My boyfriend's old friends didn't like me either when we first started dating. They thought I was after his money, they didn't like how we stuck together; and they were a little jealous that he had found someone who came out of nowhere and so easily swept him off his feet.

I continued to be myself, ignored their barbs and snide remarks. I can handle myself well in tricky situations. I don't care whether they liked me or not, just respect me and treat me right. It's only effective if you give them a reaction.

Once those snobbish guys realized we were tight and I wasn't going anywhere; they decided they like me. I didn't go out of my way to prove anything to them. My personality and character spoke for itself; and people tend to back-off when they see they can't get next to you.

Always choose the high road, let it roll off your back, and continue to be yourself.

If he just gives off a vibe that feels a little unfriendly; just remember, he doesn't want to lose his friend altogether. Their being friends has no bearing on your relationship; you both have different purposes in his life. He knows what's going on. You're not aware, but he does.

I think beneath the facade, he likes you too. He has to appear otherwise for obvious reasons.

It's uncomfortable because you're a sweet person who wants everyone to get along. In life, you can't make everyone like you. Just insist they respect you.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2017):

N91 agony auntI'd say he doesn't like that he's lost his partying buddy and he can't get him to slip back into his old ways.

Ignore his friends behaviour, if you trust your BF and have a good relationship this his friend will not come between you both, it's as simple as that.

I have a similar situation with a good friend of mine. Me and his GF don't speak and she sometimes has fallings out with him because he comes out with me sometimes and she doesn't like it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntWhether his BFF likes you or not is kind of irrelevant, as you ARE NOT dating the BFF.

I think the BFF is a bit jealous that your BF (HIS BFF) have found a girl who means that much to him and that is why is tried to sabotage your relationship by trying to set up your BF and get him to go to parties where your BF's ex is. The BFF might feel like HE is "competing" with you for your BF's attention and he doesn't like it.

I would just be nice and civil to the BFF but not go out of my way around him.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 May 2017):

chigirl agony auntThe reason he behaves this way is because he likes you. I once had a boyfriend whos best friend never wanted to talk to me, was a bit rude, ignored me etc. I coulndt stand him. Then we broke up, and I happened to meet the best friend on the street. I greeted to be polite, and he was super nice to me! We ended up becoming friends. And later on he confessed that he liked me back then, which is why he ignored me etc. Didnt want to develop feelings for his best friends gf ;-)

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