A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I really screwed up! My cousin set me up with one of her best friends (let's call him Steve) We went paintballing with my cousin and he's a really great guy. He got my number and asked me to go with him to his matric dance (which I said yes to) and then asked me on a date. We went to a roller coaster park and I had a great time, we held hands and he let me wear his jacket. He's a real gentleman. The night after our date I went to a house party and got pretty wasted. Everyone left except for 6 people and this one guy told me he wanted to kiss me, so we began making out. And it lasted a real long time. (Although I've been told a lot of stories about him and his ways.) I decided I didn't wanted to pursue any thing with this random guy because I really like Steve. So I was texting Steve and he asked me, "so did you make out with any random guys?" I obviously said no because I don't want to hurt him, but the guilt is there and I'm worried about what it could do in the future. (This was also my first time going to a party with alcohol and my first time getting drunk...) please help, any advice! Yes I know I screwed up so you don't need to tell me that. Thank you 3
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 May 2017):
 Okay well no you are wrong its not the obvious thing to do is lie. The obvious thing to do is be honest with him. Tell him you kissed another guy. At the end off the day you and Steve only went out on one date it does not mean that you done anything wrong kissing someone else. Lying at the start off dating is never a wise idea and yes probably will backfire on you. I think you need to be honest. Also it is a very strange question to ask you, so I wouldn't be surprised if someone told him you kissed this other guy.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 May 2017):
 Yeah he definitely knows.
That's too odd a question to randomly ask, he he now knows that you're lying to him.
I don't think you like this guy as much as you say you do though, why would you kiss a random guy if you do? Alcohol is NEVER an excuse to make bad decisions. I've been drunk MANY times and said no to things that I didn't feel were right.
The only thing you can do is either come clean to Steve or just carry on speaking to him as things are and see where it goes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2017): 1. If your guy finds out about something like this, your lying will do more damage than what you were lying about.
2. Messing around with slutty guys is NOT attractive to non-slutty guys.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 May 2017):
 Not being funny but, if this guy you fancy asked you out of the blue "did you make out with any random guys" after you had done EXACTLY that, is it possible he already knows? Could someone have already told him? It just seems like a awful coincidence for him to ask exactly that when that is exactly what happened, if you get what I mean.
I am sure you don't need me to tell you what a bad idea getting very drunk is, especially for a girl your age. You are lucky this guy didn't take full advantage of you. While there is never an excuse for sexual abuse such as rape, girls should really take responsibility for keeping themselves as safe as possible because there are some mean guys out there who will not think twice about taking advantage of a totally wasted girl. You were lucky on this occasion. Learn a lesson and don't get that wasted again.
If it turns out this guy you like does know about what happened, I suppose you could always try denying it or saying you were too drunk to remember it. I do have to wonder how much you actually like him though if you just made out with a random guy without a second thought for him.
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