A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey guys i need some advice! i'm totally head over heels in love with my boyfriend but we'r goin through a bit of a rough patch at the min...although i dont think he realises this!! he takes drugs when he's out with certain friends of his and he lies to me about it. he goes out all the time and i don't get bothered yet the first time i go out in 3 months i get ignored and the silent treatment. Lately i've become extremely close to an older male friend so close that we ended up sleeping together. i have had a crush on this older man since forever but he has a ladyfriend who he has been with for 13 yrs! i need help! i dont want to lose my wonderful boyfriend but on the same hand i don't want to lose my friendship with this man, i go to him with everything and i know i can't continue to sleep with him but i don't know how to end it! ...if anyone can make sense of my dilemma any suggestions would b greatly appreciated! thanks
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crush, drugs, older man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 You created the mess. Your boyfriend needs to get a grip on reality and so do you. The old bugger isn't your friend, he's your F@#$buddy, don't try to convince yourself that you've got this deep bond. Cut him off form sex and see how long he wants to hear your sad stories.
Don't waste your time with the old guy and get some integrity for yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007): Hi love,
You say you love your boyfriend, this older man is he supposed to be a friend and do you talk to him about your problems with your fella, as it seems hun he is using your unhappy situation for sex, Plus if you did really love your fella why would you want to sleep with someone else thats the trust issue again... Im not judging you sweety but you could be going from the frying pan into the fire so to speak. You need to sort your relationship out it seems there are issues that dont make you happy that need to be addressed i.e the drugs. and your boyfriend giving you the silent treatment means he isnt trusting you, and unfortunatly now he can't Even though im guessing he doesnt no. We all make mistakes and expecially when we are confussed and hunny id really advice you to keep away from this older man it doesnt sound like he has your best interests at heart more like his... go sort things out with your fella you need a proper heart to heart. You say you have had a crush on this older male for awhile and i'll bet you he new that be carefull, and i hope you can work things out with your fella if my love before its to late.... TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, superfly  +, writes (23 June 2007):
What kind of drugs is he using?.....b/c it is important for advice is right for you.
If he is using chemical drugs, LEAVE HIM!
If he is using mari-wana....give him time, but mariwana, deteriorates the brain, making his judgement lacking, irritable, and often times depressed.
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A
female
reader, dr jo +, writes (23 June 2007):
i would confrunt your boyfriend about the drugs and say its worring you but your going to have to loose one of them if the older man is in a relationship you should dump him i no its hard but you have to do whats right. follow your heart
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