A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi im married with 2 kids i love my husband and trust him100%. a yr and half ago i saw a bloke at work and made a beeline 4 him and iv totally fell inlove with him. we see each other and text each other several times a day, i see him about 3 times a wk. he is married with 2 kids . iv told my husband he has told his wife. he has cheated on his wife a few times including a 4 yr affair with some1 else from work, i had suscpisions about this and asked him which he denied several times until the woman admitted it was true, i confronted him and he sobbed and begged for forgivness, which i gave him. iv asked him if he could be faithful to me if i set up home with him and he said if i always satisfy him. his wife lets him have all the freedom he wants, thats why i think he has always cheated. do you think i could trust him? he loves me so much and on the few occasions iv ended it he has lost weight cries and cant concentrate. i love him and work with him so its hard for me. shall i end it with my husband and trust him? im 39 yrs old my kids are 12 and 6
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Humm let's see, shall I wear the red dress or the blue one, maybe I should wear my pink shirt, maybe should I destroy my loving family, yes definitely the blue dress, Now which shoes to wear...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): This question honestly disgusts me, you must be dumber than a box or rocks to ask this question, you don't have a concept of trust or love, and why would you disrupt your children's lives and leave a man you claim to love for this guy who sounds like a nut case crying and sobbing because he got caught in yet another lie....he doesn't love you he is a weak willed sissy of a man who can't stand the pressure and responsibility of being an adult with integrity, he doesn't have it and neither do you.
Go ahead with your silly plans, and see the devestation in your wake of your hasty behavior, do you ever do any sort of soul searching or do you just give into all your urges, do you have credit card debt, are you a drug addict a thief, you made those choices therefore you can choose to be a faithful wife and a good mother to your children.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): Hi darling,
I am going to be honest with you love you asked him if he would be faithfull to you and his answer was... If you keep me satisfied always, Sweetheart i do feel for your situation but i think the reason this man cheats is because he needs constant attention... You say you love your husband and trust him 100% what is it your not happy with at home? And the children how are they going to deal with this, they are still quite young and if this man does need alot of attention what would happen if you one day you couldnt give it to him as one of the children say was ill or needed you as hunny they will more so if you do leave as it will be a complete change of circumstances for them to deal with, Will that not satisfy him and give him an excuse to cheat. I no you said he gets upset when you finish with him, I would say to you think of the possibilitys very carefully before you make this decition love as you could be very sorry in the end and wish you had never left your husband, I believe what eddie has said to be so very true.... im not judging you at all please dont think that i truely feel for your situation.. hun please think though before you make what i believe would be a huge mistake, And try if you do love your husband to talk with him and see if you cant work things out... TAKE CARE LOVE LOTS OF LOVE AND LUCK MANDY
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): No. This man could very well be one of those people who just don't even comprehend fidelity. A serial cheater so to speak.
His wife obviously has resigned herself to this facade of a marriage. She could be asexual and thus her acceptance of his cheating ways. It saves her the "duty" of having intercourse with him. Why would he leave this so he would HAVE to remain faithful to a woman he is cheating on his wife with and who he is cheating on? He has his cake and gets to eat it.
He would only bring you further turmoil and unhappiness so stop what you are doing and get counselling as to why you would feel the need to have an affair and introduce all this drama and chaos into your world.
A healthy, emotionally stable adult would NOT indulge in an affair.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): I couldn't have said it better than if I had said it myself, Eddie. That was a great answer.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 What a huge, rotten mess. What do either of you know about trust? He can't be trusted and neither can you. Are you serious about this?
These are very frustrating questions, the ones about fidelity. I think many people have probably never found true love or perhaps not understood they always had it. They threw it away for a roll in the hay with a stranger.
This is why it's so difficult for people with integrity to understand why people cheat. For people who truly love, they could never cheat. People in love see the big picture. They honor what they have and realize the importance of a solid relationship and the benefits it brings. That is why it is so irritating to honest people when others take cheating so easily. Those of us in true love would never decide to purposely hurt our other half, our soul mates.
There is nothing better than knowing your partner is there for you, always. There is nothing better than knowing that in sickness or health someone still loves you and cares enough to be there. So for us, we don't take love lightly. We cherish what we have and feel sorry for those who are so ready to throw it away.
Be careful what you wish for. You should have been working on your marriage a few years ago instead of playing "teenager" with Romeo. Don't worry about whether someone else is honest, start with yourself.
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