I told my guy I would not cheat on him but I did, he has found out and we are working through it. Why do I do it?
Q. i have cheated on every guy i have been with. when i met my partner i promised him that i would not cheat on him because i really did not want to, but i did. not once but three times in 9 years. he found out and now we are trying to work it out. i ...
A. 12 November 2007: Hi,
Please dont run away. You will only start the whole cycle over again. Meet guy, cheat, split up.
You have found someone who is prepared to stay with you, running away will not solve anything. You need to stay and show him that his faith in... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should tell her or just leave it alone.
Q. Hi there... I just need advice on a matter that has been on my mind almost 24/7 for the past 3 years or so... I have feelings that are so strong towards an ex-teacher of mine(who is also female). After I left High school I stayed in contact with her...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
I guess the crucial question here is , Is she also a lesbian? If she's not then I cant see the point in telling her. If she is then you have to tell her, otherwise the relationship is in essence not entirely truthful. You will only tie your... (read in full...)
Heartbroken in Iraq
Q. Hello, I have been with this woman for just over a year, and have been engaged for almost a year. We have been friends for 10 years and she was my first real girlfriend. We dated way back when we were in 9th grade and were just friends until on...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
It must be very hard for you. She sounds lonely and bored. The going out and getting trashed and pashing a strange man is attention seeking. She misses you and this is her only outlet.Is there anyway for you to get someone from your family t... (read in full...)
I still have a sick feeling in my stomach
Q. My husband and I share our computer and he didn't log out of his email account. I looked (rightly or wrongly) and I found out that my husband has been viewing porn sites, not only viewing but emailing women as well. In one of the emails it looked as ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
I have no problem with the porn sites, I think half the world looks these days! But he's crossed the line by emailing these women, it would be bad enough if he was just engaged in a bit of so called harmless titilation - but he's also arr... (read in full...)
I cheated and can't get over the guilt.
Q. I cheated on my husband and can't deal with the guilt.I want a divorce but he does'nt.What should I do?...
A. 7 November 2007: O.K. first why do you want a divorce. If your husband is prepared to forgive you the least you can do is try and repair your marriage. He obviously loves you enough to forgive and forget.
So you need to find out why you cheated? Is this a habi... (read in full...)
My husband demands sex in a demeaning way because I earn more money. What to do?
Q. I have been married for two years now, and I do love my husband. Least year, my husband realized just how much more money I make them him and at first, he was just resentful. It then leered its way into our sex life, and he only wanted to be ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
from a male perspective I cant really see anything that would justify this behaviour. I can see how it happens but not condone it.
My wife earns almost double what I do and I'm proud of her. It's not her fault she is more succesful than me,... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about it, it's eating me up
Q. I have been going with my boyfriend for ten months, its had major ups and major downs and sometimes i question why i`m with him, but i couldnt bare to leave him and see him with somebody else, recently i learned that his ex girlfriend was a virgin ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
These are not good signs. Usually on this site its the men who are obsessed with their girlfriends past.
Look at it this way. First, is it any of your business who your boyfriend slept with before you started dating? If you think it is ... (read in full...)
What is he saying?
Q. Why is he saying what he's saying? I broke up with my fiance a month ago, and told him to leave me alone, but just today he added me as a friend on myspace. I looked at his page, and it said he didn't have a girlfriend anymore and that he was free ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
calling him will be exactly what he wants, he did this to bait you.
But I'm wondering why you were looking at his facebook page anyway. If I was you I would ignore everything to do with this guy. Out of sight out of mind.
Good luck and tha... (read in full...)
She stares at me, does this mean she's interested?
Q. Hi. So i've been going to a Physical Fitness Gym for sometime . I usually go with my friend to the gym and about 4 days ago he and I were both and the gym and he noticed a girl giving US a hard stare. Typically, just because its me...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
I would ask her out for a coffee. If she agrees you might be on to something and you can find out what she's like.
If she does'nt then you can ask her "well then would you please stop staring at me , its very unnerving"
Easy.... (read in full...)
I've got a crush on my teacher, he flirts back, my boyfriend suspects, but I still want something to happen, what should I do?
Q. I've had extreme on/off crushes on my foreign language teacher that I've had since the beginning of sophomore year- now I'm a senior. I happen to be "a prodigy" at this language, and so I can't tell if he plays favorites with me or if he has ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
First thing you should do is split up with your boyfriend. Its really not fair on him is it, you are besotted with another man, so you should give him the opportunity to meet someone who will date him exclusively.
Secondly, this guy is marri... (read in full...)
I told my guy I would not cheat on him but I did, he has found out and we are working through it. Why do I do it?
Q. i have cheated on every guy i have been with. when i met my partner i promised him that i would not cheat on him because i really did not want to, but i did. not once but three times in 9 years. he found out and now we are trying to work it out. i ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi,
at least you are honest about it. The first thing I would suggest is to not put yourself in situations where you can cheat. i.e. dont go to bars by yourself,or with the girls if it ends up the same way everytime.
Secondly, I think most p... (read in full...)
I go to him but he makes less effort to come to me! Do I accept this because I love him or seek elsewhere the attention I need?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months. We live about 5 miles apart, and in the beginning he would come over to my house to see me, call me regularly, and tell me how much he missed me if we didn't see each other during the week. As ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi again,
just one thing, we guys can be pretty darn vague about life. We just let it fly past and go about our business each day as it comes.
I only say this because your boyfriend very may well be excited about living together but its just som... (read in full...)
I'm worried that he's not attracted to me.
Q. My boyfriend sometimes looks at other girls (like checking them out)- does this mean that he isn't attracted to me or that he would like to have sex with these girls? Does he look at them because he is bored of me? Is it because I am too ugly for ...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
Oh dear, your appear to have very low self esteem.
Your boyfriend is going out with you because you are hot. Thats right, why would he run after one of these girls when he already has a hottie on his arm?
We boys cant help taking a quick p... (read in full...)
Should I stop before it gets out of hand?
Q. I am 19 and have met a guy (45) who is really nice and i am friends with but latley we have started to kiss and touch each other. Is this ok or should i stop before it gets out of hand??...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
You are doing nothing illegal, so its your call.
You need to decide if you just want a fling, or if you are interested in a relationship.
If its the latter, what will a 45 year old guy have in common with you, imagine introducing him ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my Long Distance interest since we met and slept together! Was he just using me?
Q. I've been in contact with a guy, writing, texting and talking constantly by telephone. He told me that I was his girl and that it was hard to meet a good person in life and talking of future things we would do together etc. We arranged to meet, ...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
It's still only a few days, however that's about as much optimism as I can muster.
Speaking from a male perspective, I'm afraid plenty of the folk on my "team" use the internet to do just what's happened to you. Meet a nice lady have sex the... (read in full...)
I go to him but he makes less effort to come to me! Do I accept this because I love him or seek elsewhere the attention I need?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months. We live about 5 miles apart, and in the beginning he would come over to my house to see me, call me regularly, and tell me how much he missed me if we didn't see each other during the week. As ...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
tough call. It really does look like your boyfriend values his independence and time alone. I can see why this would be frustrating for you, but after so many years of this he probably will find it hard to give his independence up.
I guess i... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him about the fact I'm scared he'll hurt me as the ex did - without him getting upset with me?
Q. my ex-boyfriend abused me and now im scared that my current boyfriend is going to do the same. he wouldn't hurt a fly and he is so good to me, and i want to trust him but i can't. how do i talk to him about it without him getting upset with me?...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.
You say you cant trust him. I'm afraid it is going to be difficult for you to maintain any sort of relationship if you put it in terms like that. You have already decided that he can't be trusted ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lusts after other women
Q. Me and my boyfriend have recently reached our two year anniversary. He is the first person I have slept with. I had other serious relationships before this but chose not to lose my virginity until I was completely ready. He has always stared at ...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
I think you need to clarify whether he leers or peeks.
All us guys like a sneaky peek at a pretty girl, my wife knows this and she in turn likes a sneaky peek at a hot guy. It adds spice to the relationship and there is no harm done.
Howe... (read in full...)
My husband lies.....
Q. I have only been married for 7 months. I have been with my husband for 6 years but these past few weeks have been hell. Here is my story. I saw a charge in our checking account for over 300.00 and I did not know where it came from. I called him he s...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
A lap dance would be expensive, probably more so than one would think.
But would it cost more than say 50 or a 100 bucks? Maybe if it was a high class joint, then the skys the limit I suppose.
I'm sorry to say but if he's spent several hu... (read in full...)
Which guy do I go for? Do I wait for the one "out of my league" or go for the one that is keen on me?
Q. Please help i'm at uni right and theres these two guys, both of whom are like so lovely only 1's totally out of my leauge and the other kinda had a crush on me a while back, anyhow i lost my virginity to the second guy and kinda ignored the fact i ...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi,
It all depends, do you like the idea of a bit of eye candy and having the guy on your arm who everyone fancies?
Or do you want the guy who makes your stomach churn.
Boy, if you cant make up your mind now, I suggest go with the flow, as I'm... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a perv?
Q. Me and my bf have been 2gether over a year and we've never had sex. We're both experienced in this dept but he was in a relationship with a MUCH younger girl (she was barely 17, he was 28). I feel like because I am 30 and not a "young buck" ...
A. 5 November 2007: I'm sorry to say mate, this doesnt look good. You have been together a year and no sex? But you engage in the activity which is for his pleasure only.
You could be right, he may not be able to get turned on by someone out of their teenage year... (read in full...)
I can't understand how I did this?
Q. Hi, My name is *Rose and i am 16. I have been together with my boyfriend for neally 2 years and i love him so much. My parents and his parents think that we will get married and we believe it too. The thing is about a month ago i cheated on him with ...
A. 5 November 2007: hmmm.. its all very cosy and secure these plans everyone has for you arent they? Dating, marriage and happy ever after. The problem with this scenario is there is always one participant who is going along for the ride - and in this case its you.
N... (read in full...)
Beyone annoyed at friend of opposite sex who is obsessed and "secretly" in love with me.
Q. help! for quite some time now my best guy friend (Mark)has been secretly in love with me although my friends and I are very aware of his feelings for me. Recently though I have become so annoyed with him but dont know what to do or say. Mark texts ...
A. 5 November 2007: It's easy. You have a boyfriend, spend some time together alone. If your "friend" Mark tries to butt in you say: "I'm sorry but I can going out with my boyfriend" .
Seriously, you are letting this tag along buddy ruin your sanity, just tell him to l... (read in full...)
Can my friendship survive?
Q. My husband is firing my best friend's husband. Can my friendship with her survive?...
A. 5 November 2007: From what little information you have provided, I would say not.
I assume your husband has good reasons for firing him?... (read in full...)
How do I get our relationship back on the right track?
Q. My boyfriend and I met in early June of this year (making it aprox. 6 months since we got together) We actually met through a mutual friend whom he once was associated with... After 3 weeks into our relationship, he suggested we should go on a ...
A. 5 November 2007: I'm sorry , but why do you love this guy?
You need to ask yourself this question, as at your age you show worrying signs of being attracted to controlling personalities.
He's an arsehoole who is treating you like dirt and calling you names _ ... (read in full...)
It would make it worse if she found out from someone else.
Q. I hooked up with my friends boyfriend about two months ago while they were still dating, we did it twice and continued doing it even after they broke up. The deal was we would never ever tell anymore. I was at a party last night and I told about six ...
A. 5 November 2007: First of, I wouldnt worry about him, what do you care? Forget him, he's a guy who got to have sex with two girls for the price of one. He's sweet , I'm surprised he hasnt come out with it yet.
It's your friend you have to worry about, and If you ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to choose, how do I decide?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have now been together for 6 months. We're both seniors at the same school. And we're both each other's first serious relationship. He just told me last night (he'd never told me before) he wanted us to be together even af...
A. 5 November 2007: I'd break up when you are ready to break up. In any event before you move away.
Let's be frank you both are already making plans for your alternate lifestyle, he already is questioning whether he would be able to remain faithful. And fair dues for ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend thinks I'm easy, at least that's what I think he thinks, it's so hard, how can I make it work?
Q. so i met a boy. he is a friend of a friend and we met out one night, while i was in town visiting (i live 3 hours away). normal enough evening, we talk drink and hang out. i go back home and don't think much about it. we start communicating via ...
A. 5 November 2007: "Is this how you are with all the boys?"
Now this comment could be taken two ways. One, he was joking it was a little bit of titilation aimed at easying the tension between you two.
Or it was a cruel jibe aimed at undermining you as a person and... (read in full...)
How can I handle this and maintain dignity
Q. Thank you to all who respond here. I broke up with my boyfriend because of his cheating and roving eye and have no interest in maintaining a friendship with him. We are on a committee together and he has not said the nicest things about me..not ...
A. 5 November 2007: Hi,
It sounds like his reputation is well know by the sounds of it. I'm sure you're not the first person he's treated like this, so I wouldnt worry about it. Keep your head up and simply ignore him.
Nobody likes a cheating scumbag, and nobody i... (read in full...)
How can I please him?
Q. I've started seeing this guy and he's amazing i like him so so so much!! But we got onto the topic of sex the other night, just jokingly and he was saying about how he hates it when girls just "lay there and take it" and he's really experie...
A. 5 November 2007: Hi,
Yeah, I'm sure he's real experienced - not!. My bet would be at best he's a couple of times away from being a virgin. It sounds like it was just a throwaway comment anyway. I reckon he's so scare he's crap in bed that he's trying to make him... (read in full...)
I broke up with him, but I don't want to lose him. Do I take him back?
Q. I recently discovered that my boyfriend posted an ad on an online personals column. I broke up with him. I don't want to lose him. I am losing my mind. He says he loves me. Should I go against the advice of all my friends and my ther...
A. 5 November 2007: hI,
It looks like you are looking for an excuse to take this guy back despite all the good advice of those close to you.
Sorry, but you wont get it from here. Unfortunately a lot of people are cheaters, you just happen to have had a relationship... (read in full...)
I'm a flirter, but I think my boyfriend overreacts, what's acceptable?
Q. Well, I know I'm just young- but this is really affecting my life in a huge way. Whenever I talk to men (well, boys- I'd suppose my case would be) I find that I can't stop flirting. I mean, personally, I'm bubbly and friendly; but apparently this ...
A. 5 November 2007: Hi,
Your boyfriend sounds controlling. He "forbids" you to see certain people. My god, how old are you? 18-21 and your boyfriend is telling you who you can see?
But I'm left wondering if you are being totally upfront with us. You mention that... (read in full...)
Can I forgive my cheating ex?
Q. Is it possible to forgive a cheating boyfriend? I dont know what to do. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we were friends for much longer. He is a kind hearted gentleman but the past 6 months something came over him. I am 22 and he is 25, he ...
A. 4 November 2007: Hi,
Only you can decide the answer to this question. This wasn't a one night stand , it was a relationship over a protracted period of time, he was living a double life - having sex with this "buddy" while cosing up to you .
If she is still "fr... (read in full...)
She wants to see her ex more often! I'm not happy. What should I do?
Q. Well hear's the deal, iv been with my girlfriend for around ten months now an i really love her with all my heart, we spend a good majority of our spare time together which i love. A couple of weeks ago she told me she was going to see her friend ...
A. 2 November 2007: If it was just a once off , you could forgive her , as I could understand that she may not have wanted you to feel bad if you knew she was meeting up with her ex.
But alarm bells are ringing, you seriously have to think about her intentions. Stat... (read in full...)
We've been together for a short time and he wants a threesome for his b-day! Should we do this?
Q. I have a BF that wants a threesome for his birthday we have been together only a short time is this a good idea...
A. 2 November 2007: I would ask him what he thinks about a threesome for you on your birthday, this time 2 guys and you. ( I can only assume that he wants two girls for his birthday ).
I only say this because as you two have been together for a short time it is worr... (read in full...)
The in-laws are moving in, and I fear for our relationship! Please advise.
Q. HELP!! So my girlfriend and I have some new "roomates" moving in with us. My gf's 24yr old sis and her 4yr old daughter. Her sis has had a rough divorce recently and is struggling financially. Without even asking me she insisted that her sis mov...
A. 1 November 2007: Well mate, you will sure find out how strong your relationship is!
In any event, you couldnt really expect your girlfriend to turn down a family member in need. Make them feel welcome and encourage her to get back on her feet. Perhaps you could he... (read in full...)
My dad has become even more overly protective of me since he found out I've been having Sex. How can I get him to stop?
Q. I live with my dad n have since the begining of 1st grade. i love my dad dont get me wrong but i want some Freedom! Im 16 n my mom found out that i had had sex with my b/f who im still with. well my mom decided to tell my dad. before i reeli culdnt ...
A. 1 November 2007: Hi,
You are just going to need some time to adjust. Your dad is just being over protective of you. He doesnt want to see his little girl get pregnant. Think of it the other way, imagine if he was like a lot of fathers and he didnt care about yo... (read in full...)
I want to leave him. How can we avoid an arguement?
Q. I need some serious advise if anyone can please help. This is going to be long, so please be patient. My husband and I will be married for 3 years in January. We have known each other for nearly 7 years and have a daughter who just turned 5. We were ...
A. 1 November 2007: Hi,
Let me tell you first, I do the cooking at home, and the washing up every night , my wife does the Saturday morning big clean ( though I take care of the bathroom including the toilet!). I am hopeless at the little bitty things (dusting... (read in full...)
I've got a new guy, how long should I wait before getting intimate
Q. If you're dating a guy, you get along great and there's obviously a lot of sexual tension between you. How long should you wait before you get intimate...would 2 to 3 weeks be too early? or do you think you should wait longer?...
A. 1 November 2007: Personally I waited for a month before my partner and I got it on. We both wanted to become friends first, there was a connection instantly between us and as both of us were hardly virginal neither wanted to spoil it by shagging the hell out of each ... (read in full...)
My boss is flirting with me, he's married, I am flattered but I know its wrong , how do I get rid of these feelings for him?
Q. I started a new job about 8 weeks ago. I noticed my boss giving me eye contact. He then gently touched arms with me a few times and I was flattered by the attention. My job involves being out at night in a club together and one night he was ...
A. 1 November 2007: Hi,
First let me say how sorry I am you lost your partner.
This guy is a predator and you are vulnerable, just remind yourself what type of person hits on a work colleague while their wife sits waiting for him at home.
That should do it . G... (read in full...)
I got dumped, now I've met another girl, but is she right for me?
Q. Hi. Please help me with my problem. I was dumped a few months ago by my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, and I've found it very difficult to cope with. Recently, I have met a new girl. She's very nice. But there are a few things about her that makes ...
A. 1 November 2007: Geez mate, you are being a little bit judgemental about her aren't you? She can't pick her family, they are her family.
Just go with the flow, enjoy her company and try not to judge who she is and where she comes from. If you grow to love some... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I may make a mistake.
Q. Hi, I'm currently engaged to my fiance' of 2 months and girlfriend of 2 years. Through out the entire relationship I've had feelings for different people, and most of these feelings come and go. Is this normal and healthy? does this mean i'm not ...
A. 1 November 2007: You probably are a little paranoid dude. However, it does seem to be a common thread though with people who come to DearCupid , especially those in the 22-25 age group who are about to get married.
If you are not acting on these impulses it spea... (read in full...)
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