A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live with my dad n have since the begining of 1st grade. i love my dad dont get me wrong but i want some Freedom! Im 16 n my mom found out that i had had sex with my b/f who im still with. well my mom decided to tell my dad. before i reeli culdnt go newhere, everyone always had to come to my house. my dad is Very Over protective.but now its worse. i cant go to my friends house after skool. last nite was halloween n i almost didnt get to do nething then. but i DID have to be home by 9! i dont smoke i dont drink. i did one thing n my dad cant trust me nemore. somedays i just want to b like well ill be here ill b home by 8 or sumin, but i no ill get my ass chewed out if i did that. i need help how do i get my dad to realize im not a bad kid, n that he needs to stop sufficating me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 i was in your position a couple of years back and for me it didn't change until i moved out of home.
I hope sincerely that you are protecting yourself. I wasn't, and fell pregnant when i was nineteen. (not even with a partner, but on a one-night stand) My daughter is now almost 5. The way your dad is reacting to you reminds me a lot of how my mom used to be. I hated every minute of it, and directly after school, i moved out and got myself pregnant. I was always a good child. Straight A student, prefect etc etc. Never got drunk, never smoked. My situation got even worse after having a child. I moved back to my mom, and she held a very close eye on me. I wasn't even allowed to have friends over. I worked like a maid in our house. But i had to put up with it, because it was her house, and she was paying for everything. Eventually i got a nice job, and worked my way up the corporate ladder. I finally stood up for myself last year - at the age of 23. Told her that i'm old enough to look after myself and my daughter, and that i need to take on the responsibility. After i did that, things were not so cool for a while, but she got used to it - and so did i.
I moved out about 5 months ago, and now - we have a fantastic relationship again.
Be happy that your father loves you so much that he wants a better life for you. I didn't realise just how much my mom cared for me until recently. You will always be his little baby girl, so give him some time to get used to you growing up. Sit down with him - discuss and negotiate the rules of your house, and keep to it. That way, you cannot say that you have to live under his rules. You need to be part of the rule-making process.
Good luck, and please take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): Tell him exactly that. You are able to make the choice of having sex and ensure him that you are careful - and make sure you are 100% of the time. He is only concerned for your wellbeing and safety and I can sympothise because I have 2 daughters of my own but thereis a line that needsto be drawn, its not that he doesnt trust you, its just very hard for parents to accept there kids growing up - especially girls. Tell him that you are responsible, you dont put yourself in any danger and you need space. Take care x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): to be fair, your dads just looking out for you.
he's got his little girl & he doesn't want to let her go.
seriously, they are all like that.
just tell him that you are old enough to make your own decisions & there is nothing he can do about it.
tell him you appreciate it but it is too much on you & you don't need the pressure.
he'll be fine with you :)
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Hi,
You are just going to need some time to adjust. Your dad is just being over protective of you. He doesnt want to see his little girl get pregnant. Think of it the other way, imagine if he was like a lot of fathers and he didnt care about you ,what you did and where you went.
I think if you give it some time he will back of a little. He is being unreasonable to you at the moment but its probably because he loves you very much and is very worried.
Just wait, I'm sure he will come around soon enough.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Ok. Please learn to spell.
As for your father he loves you and just wants the best for you. I dont believe its about trust as it is moreso about him believing you do not know what is best for you yet and is pretty much scared you will get pregnant and ruin your life. Now as you know pregnant underage girls dont get very far in life.
No one will support you. Not the government and I am sure your father wont appreciate bringing you up his own child to only see her ruin her youth by having one of her own. He may feel you having sex at this age is bad judgement on your part and will feel the need to correct it.
You are still a child to him and always be a child to him. this is coming from someone who is 22 and whos mother and father still suffociate me. I would say you are under his roof and you should respect him and follow his rules and once you do that he may feel more able to give you more room to be yourself.
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