A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm currently engaged to my fiance' of 2 months and girlfriend of 2 years. Through out the entire relationship I've had feelings for different people, and most of these feelings come and go. Is this normal and healthy? does this mean i'm not ready to commit? Will these feelings still come and go in marriage?None of the feelings match what I feel for my fiance' but i'm afraid I might make a mistake in the future and damage our marriage. Am I just being paranoid?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Getting married is a bit step to take and we all have to be 100% certain that this is the right person for us. We all go through some sort of doubt at some stage. Just so long as you love her and she loves you then you will be ok. We have all looked at people but never touched. You will be ok, just normal!!
take care
xx
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Well one thing is for sure, whatever you do in the future won't be a "mistake" because you're already aware of the potential. It will be a "choice" and that's a different thing altogether. Mistakes are acts made out of ignorance. Choices area calculated.
To be attracted to others is normal and to be expected. Your fiancée probably has or will have them too. Marriage is a commitment and a sacrifice, well worth it too. You commit to your partner and sacrifice sex with others you're attracted to. This makes a relationship based on partnership and mutual respect. It's normal.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 You probably are a little paranoid dude. However, it does seem to be a common thread though with people who come to DearCupid , especially those in the 22-25 age group who are about to get married.
If you are not acting on these impulses it speaks a lot for your character, but do you find the impulses are getting stronger? I think that's the key, you may be not ready for marriage if that's the case.
But on the other hand, we all have urges when we see a pretty girl on the street, its the testosterone playing up! But most of us handle it and even use it to spice up our sex lives with our partners.
It's all a case of balance, you will always see girls who look attractive to you every day, so I wouldnt worry about it unless you find that it occupys your thoughts a lot, then I would suggest you are probably not ready for a long term commitment just yet.
Good luck.
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