A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've started seeing this guyand he's amazing i like him so so so much!!But we got onto the topic of sex the other night, just jokingly and he was saying about how he hates it when girls just "lay there and take it"and he's really experienced and i think we're going to get together real soon but Im worried that he's gonna think im crap in bed.but i really dont want replies saying if he really likes you he'll be cool. cos yeah i no he will but i want him to be impressed. i want him to have a good time!!But how do i make sure im not just "laying there and taking it!" !!! i mean what can i do to excite him?!?!!i really need some tips thanksx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, passion@peaches +, writes (5 November 2007):
 I agree with other people that he isnt as sure of himself as he makes out,the most important thing is that you are comfortable with the situation,get yourself in the mood,nice sexy underwear,flirt with him,ask him to undress you slowly,but keep something on even if its just high heels,let he look at you and admire you,and enjoy this,take your time and explore all of his body,massage is great using light and firm strokes every now and again,gently run your nails over his buttocks,lay him down,press your boobs against his back,kiss him on his back and his neck,gently turn him over and let him look up at you as you straddle him and gently just slide up and down over his penis,so he can feel how moist and warm your pussy is,taking time and not rushing is so important,tell him how much you fancy him and want him,if at this stage you feel ready to make love then tell him,how you want to feel him inside you,or ask him to kiss and lick you,invite him to pleasure you,good sex is all about comunication,not easy for everybody,unfortunatly,but you want this to be a special experience,remember you are a beautiful woman and nobody knows it all,
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 Hi,
Yeah, I'm sure he's real experienced - not!. My bet would be at best he's a couple of times away from being a virgin. It sounds like it was just a throwaway comment anyway. I reckon he's so scare he's crap in bed that he's trying to make himself into a lothario. He's probably worried about coming to early to start with - whether you will enjoy it - whether you've had better lovers/with bigger equipment etc.. you see there's plenty for us guys to worry about as well.
Basically I wouldn't worry, though no guy enjoys sex when the man is on top and the women lays there - or if the man just pummels away for a couple of minutes and blows his wad leaving the girl unsatisfied. It's all about sexual chemistry, if you guys have it the great sex will follow.
But there's no harm in getting tips, we all need to learn what makes great sex - I would start with some sexy lingerie to turn your guy on - and surprise him by jumping on top. Easy.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Haha, men are sneaky little sods. I bet he's not half as experienced as you've been led to believe.
In fact I would bet on the fact that he is feeling a little insecure and has told you he doesn't like girls not doing any of the work in bed because he's worried that HE won't be enticing enough in bed.
Basically, guys love a bit of effort. Whether he likes to be dominated or not, show some initiative. Take the lead, push him back on the bed/sofa/wherever you are. Put some sexy undies on. Black are usually a great hit. Kiss him all over, his neck, nibble his ears, you could even start the night off with a relaxing sensual back massage (just remember thoughm if you use condoms most massage oils are oil based and therefore not condom friendly). Candles, a bottle of wine, stuff to get you in the mood! He'll be chuffed you went to all that effort.
You might want to think about handcuffs (or ties) blindfolds, foods (whipped cream, ice cream, ice cubes, yoghurt, chocolate, etc), if you're feeling a bit daring!
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A
male
reader, Asexy  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Don't be in such a hurry to be experienced. A lot of the fun is in the learning. Anyone who expects his/her partner to know it all at your age isn't being realistic.
The best relationships are ones where you and he can both ask, "how does this feel? Over to the left? Slower?" As long as there is fun and laughter involved, and you stop if someone says "ow," then you're both going to enjoy it.
You might take turns with who gets to be more passive, and the occasional hand job, where *he* can "just lay there" might take the pressure off.
In the long run, don't do anything you're not 100% comfortable with. Your body, your rules. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): Well I'm 40! had a few partners and my latest dumped me because he said I was crap, he was local by the way!!! I've had partners travel from miles away to be with me one 180 miles ever week for over four years and another 220 miles. How immature is your guy, but then they don't get much better when they get older either lol. He should be over the moon that you care about him so deeply as to want to sleep with him. If all he's interested in is the moves, then I would give him a wide berth my darling.
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A
female
reader, confused in WVa +, writes (4 November 2007):
 First of all, relax. The worry you are having may cause you more problems. If and when it happens,just relax and let your emotions guide you. Little touches with your fingers, small kisses on his body, relax and let things happen. The more worried and tense you are, the worse the outcome. Before you decide to give yourself to him, make sure that you are ready to share yourself completely with him. If it doesn't feel right emotionally, you will regret it. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): go wild on him act on your fantasies,enjoy him and dont be shy, just make the most of your time together like it would be the last time you will have sex. have a drink -not too much!!!_ just to relax and also make sure that you dont transform yourself into a sex object, i mean make sure you enjoy your time and dont do anyting that makes you uncomfortable just to please him. im sure most girls act on the submission fantasy 'im here come knocked out by your spell come and take me i cant resist you', which can be a bit boring for men... if it happens all the time. im sure there is a sexy vixen in every woman and maybe you gotta show him that there is definately one in you
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