A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I hooked up with my friends boyfriend about two months ago while they were still dating, we did it twice and continued doing it even after they broke up. The deal was we would never ever tell anymore. I was at a party last night and I told about six other girls EVERYTHING about what we did and how we did it behind my friends back. Theres always the golden sleepover rule nothing leaves the house but it's still freaking me out. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. I guess my question is do I tell the guy I have been hooking up with that I told people or do I just hope he doesn't find out from someone else. Same with my friend. I don't wanna be the one to tell her but at the same point in time it would be worse if she heard it from someone else.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 First of, I wouldnt worry about him, what do you care? Forget him, he's a guy who got to have sex with two girls for the price of one. He's sweet , I'm surprised he hasnt come out with it yet.
It's your friend you have to worry about, and If you think there is even the remotest chance that your friend won't find out, just say this to yourself: "I told 6 girlfriends about it" over and over again. I would give it a few days at most before your friend finds out - if she hasnt already.
It would be hard to think of a way you can maintain this friendship.
I'm not going to judge you ( hell, we all make mistakes ) but I would write her a letter and apologise, but dont expect her to remain friends. Move on and put it down as one of life's lessons. Though you may have to face the fact that you will now have a reputation amongst your friends.
Good luck anyway, the only way is up from here, learn from your mistakes and be a better person. People will trust you by your deeds from now on.
A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Hello.
I believe now that you have told other people, it is time to come clean, there is no such thing as keeping secrets, people are very bad at it,would be better all round if you told them first, when it comes out the people involved will be really angry with you, if they hear a rumour like this going around a School, collage, or work place, sorry babe, it will be better coming from you, in this case honesty will be the best policy.
I hope this will help you.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Well, this is going to eat you up until she either finds out from you, him or one of your friends.
Basically, face the fact that you have lost a friend. I won't lecture because I know these things happen, but you must have known the consequences of what might happen if she found out when you slept with her boyfriend, worse case scenario and all that.
Just think how you would feel, in her shoes, betrayed, hurt, embarassed that all your friends know, embarassed that you two have carried on being friends for all this time and you and him knew but she didn't...
Be mature, go somewhere on equal territory with her, and tell her. Grovel and apologise, but don't expect her to trust you again.
Although, she might not care one bit seeing as they've since broken up. Depends on her personality really I guess!
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