A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have now been together for 6 months. We're both seniors at the same school. And we're both each other's first serious relationship.He just told me last night (he'd never told me before) he wanted us to be together even after high school. But he told me he's worried about me going out of state, to a college I've been wanting to go to since my junior year(in a state bordering our home state). He told me he didn't think long distance relationships work.He explained it like this: He's worried he'd mess up and cheat on me if we were that far away. He would like not being able to see me (and being there for me when I'm upset or sick), which would lead to him cheating possibly. The college life is enough of a transition. He thinks it'd be hard to break up but he wants me to make my own choice. but even as he says he'll understand either choice I hear the sadness in his voice.I've gotten an athletic opportunity from an instate college, and waiting on hearing from the out-of-state one which would really have a big effect on my decision.Anyway I guess it is alittle stupid, b/c common sense tells me that guys won't be around forever, think of your education first, since he is only your first guy you'll most likely find someone else.But I'm also thinking... 'what if he's the one I'm meant to be with'... And 'I do have a for sure offer from an in-state school for athletics,' which is something I've always wanted.How should i go about making this decision? I know I'll regret either way. What do you think I should do, or say to my boyfriend? Do you think I can convince him it will work? Should we just keep an open-relationship until we graduate from college? Should we break up now or at the end of HS?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): If you get the out of state college then go for it. You've known for a while that's where you want to be and you'll end up resenting him if he holds you back from that oppotunity. I'd definitely be worried about the fact that cheating is on his mind before you've even confirmed that you're going anywhere. And there's no way he'll just magically subconsciously end up cheating. It's his choice on whether to stay faithful to you or not.
A
female
reader, Temper212 +, writes (5 November 2007):
You honestly never know what will happen, either way.
I, personally speaking, would be worried about a guy who is worried about being able to stay faithful. That just says to me that it would be easy for him to stray. What if you had to go out of town for a business trip if you two got married? Would he be tempted to stray then?
You have a great opportunity, and not to take that opportunity would be such a waste of such a great life move!
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 hey,
i don' think you two should break up, nothing has happened yet!
if something happens( like cheatting) then here is where you break up.
good luck and i hope you won't regret your decision what ever it turns out to be.
take care byeXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): i don`t thing you should break up with him at all really
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A
female
reader, Chatterbox  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 honey all i can say is if its meant to be itll work out. If he cant handle distance give him the flick because if he really cares then he will be happy for you and wait. He should understand this is your time to do what, if is the one he will wait. take care and good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): Dont let a relationship like that ruin a good opportunity for you...if you got a scholarship, take it. If he isn't strong enough to remember you when you're a few miles away, it isnt worth it. He should be supportive of your future. good luck
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (5 November 2007):
 I'd break up when you are ready to break up. In any event before you move away.
Let's be frank you both are already making plans for your alternate lifestyle, he already is questioning whether he would be able to remain faithful. And fair dues for him to admit it. And you have a wonderful opportunity for a scholarship. If you threw it away you would regret it for the rest of your life.
Be realistic, do you want your college years to be determined by the constraints of a relationship left hanging from your school days? Its time to grow and experience new things, life is all about opportunities and yes heartbreak as well.
Live it.
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