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*hiteshadow agony aunt

*hiteshadow

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*hiteshadow's profile:

I am from UK and I am 21 years old. I am not a teacher/doctor or qualified to help and give advice to people however I love life and my family and have been through different things. Im very laid back and relaxed. On the outside i am a very out going, honest and average girl. On the inside somewhere is a very deep kid. I love writing about my feelings through poetry although i havn't for a while.

12Next > [2 pages, 53 answers]

I think my relationship is dying out. Should I try to make it better or just let it die?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. In the beginning he was very adament about showing his feelings, saying nice things, and doing nice things. I ama girl who likes to be appreciated for who I am and for things I do for my ...

A.   20 November 2007: im sorry to say but it really does sound like you have tried your best.i have been in a very similiar situation..we ended up friends after a long time of splitting up. I do think you should let it die out personally even tho i know others would ... (read in full...)

Is it too soon to move in with him?

Q.   I have been dating a guy for 3 months and I have 2 kids is it too soon to move in with him...

A.   20 November 2007: yes! dont do it :( be independant not just for yourself but for your kids!! your kids wont need the ride of moving around if things go wrong with your bf :( hope u dont xxxxx ... (read in full...)

How do you shave or trim down there?

Q.   hey i've heard that girls like to shave down there. is that noraml? if so how would you do it? some guys are always talking bout how their girls are shaved nice or strimmed nice. so how would you do it??? sorry if this is a wierd question but i'm ...

A.   20 November 2007: i use a razer in the bath.lol not sure about everyone else...however it is perfectly normal and alot of women older and younegr do it. It is more attractive to most people and it is also hieginic (god sorry about the spelling) xxx... (read in full...)

Should I date as many girls as I can or just try to find that one perfect girl for me?

Q.   Hello Aunts. I've been thinking; I'm 18 years old, and I want somebody to spend my life with. Someone I can wake up to in the morning and cuddle up to at night, somebody I can talk to about anything. Basically somebody I can share my life with. ...

A.   20 November 2007: go for whatever you think is right, Go for the girl you fancy and whatever happens..happens. if it is just a fling then let it be that or if it is a serious relationsip let it happen. You can be inbetween this and take each day as it comes =)... (read in full...)

I will have compromised who I am by giving in, our values being so different. Best solution?

Q.   I know a guy for the last 5 months. we work together and have become friends.we flirt a lot and recently he says that he wants more..he wants me, he wants to get to know me better.the thing is I know that I like him so it should be simple.except ...

A.   20 November 2007: your overlooking it wayyy too much. Do what you feel is right at each moment.. never plan how your going to work a relationship. It will come natural im sure. oh and if you say you cant do it...the only way he would lose ease is if he is a selfish ... (read in full...)

He suggested marriage and now this woman (supposedly alcoholic friend he's trying to help) told me they kissed etc. Opinions?

Q.   i've ben with this guy for going on two years,the last few weeks ive noticed him being very obsessed with spending more time together; then i was playing around and found some girl's number, he totally lied and said it was his mom's friend, i looked ...

A.   20 November 2007: you need the put you foot down and stop this now!!! if he cares about you and your feelings enough he wont be seeing this women. If he can lie about the phone and person who it is then he is msot probably lieing about her having problems wich is ... (read in full...)

Men, would you kiss your partner who did oral sex in the past?

Q.   Guys would you kiss a girl who does oral sex with her past boyfriend ...

A.   20 November 2007: of course they would ... (read in full...)

How can I chat him up without sounding too obvious?

Q.   I'm 20 and I work in a huge store in the stockroom which near enough sells everything. I'm really tall and look about 25. I really fancy an older guy who is 30-35. I thought the crush would go away but it hasn't and I have never fancied anyone in ...

A.   20 November 2007: I never went for it only cos its in work. I dont want to risk my job or reputation i have. I will just have my little daydream in work =) lol anyways thanks so much for your great advice ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend just told me that he wants to stop having sex! He thinks that if we don't have sex for a while he might fall in love with me...

Q.   My boyfriend just told me tonight that he wants to stop having sex. We've been together for about 4 months and he knows I love him, but he says he doesn't feel that way yet. He thinks that if we don't have sex for a while he might fall in love ...

A.   20 November 2007: That is so crazy...how can someone only have sex when they are in love or whatever his excuse was? specialy a man.. anyway, i really think he is hiding something ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my penis size. Please help!

Q.   Is my penis a bit short? I'm 13 1/2 and I've measured it. I got 3 1/2 inches flaccid and just over 5 inches when hard. I tried putting a condom on my penis but it looked quite loose even when it was properly put on. The 'bulb' shape on the condom ...

A.   20 November 2007: 5-7 inches is normal and your only 13! lots of growing to do yet =) dont worry about it... (read in full...)

Hard time talking to females. I feel really bad about this.

Q.   I'm a male who has a really hard time talking to females (other than the ones I need to like teachers, family, co-workers, management etc..)and this is creating problems for me because I feel through lack of confidence I am missing out on ...

A.   20 November 2007: Dont worry about chatting girls up etc Just be yourself and i am well sure you will meet someone without having to impress or act confident or whatever it is that you feel your not. I am quite a loud girl, but when i really like someone i shy aw... (read in full...)

My mom is involved with my friend - how do I react? They won't talk about it.

Q.   hello i have a problem my mom is having sex with my friend and they both won't talk about it many times i caught him coming out of my house and many times i heard his voice in my mom room i don't know what to do i can't talk to mom and i can't ...

A.   16 November 2007: one of my best mates went out with my mum ocne altho he was quite a few years older than me. I loved them both and didnt mind really. I gave them space like my mum would with me and we spoke about it.everythign was fine. The onyl thign ir regret ... (read in full...)

I love my bf but I don't know if he loves me too, I'm 12. Contemplating sex already...

Q.   Hi i am 12 years old,I have this boyfriend that i love very much,but i dono if he love me too?and i was thinking of having sex with him help!...

A.   15 November 2007: im not usualy the type to spam someones question with a negative answer but..12 really is too young to even say that. your not even a teenager yet. You have all your life to do that. I want to give you advice but as i said your not even a teenager ... (read in full...)

Do I really love him for who he is or just for who I want him to be? Was he using me all this time?

Q.   hi everyone i'm 21f my problem is my bf is 49 years old! we've been together for 7 years now i love him so much i had sex with him when i was 15. and now i read that i'm attracted to him cuz he fills the space that my father left when he passed a...

A.   15 November 2007: wow you went out with 42 yr old when you was 14..thats insane lol altho im not aginst it. I like older men but i geuss not that old...anyway... it does sound like you want some type of father figure but if you both are complately happy then there ... (read in full...)

Spots in the intimate area where I shave. Should I be worried?

Q.   i have spots on my vigina where i shave, i am worried that it is serious, please i need advice xxxxxxxxxxxx...

A.   15 November 2007: There just from shaving. Trust me 3 specialy if youre using razers... (read in full...)

We fight a lot because I bring up my ex.

Q.   hey ... i have a boyfriend whom am pretty serious about even though it hasnt been too long since ive bin with him...also there is my ex boyfriend whom i dated for 3 years and now its also been over 3 years to our break up. i somehow cant quit tal...

A.   15 November 2007: I know how you feel cos i have been like that but it is so selfish. Can you imagine if your boyfriend spoke to his ex and told her that he loves her but he loves you aswell. Im sure you would have something to say about that right? And if you thin... (read in full...)

What about how I say how good I was?

Q.   My boyfriend gave me oral the other day in the back seat of my car. He had tried a few weeks before but didnt like it so he didnt do it til the other night. After that he decided he really REALLY liked doing it. The next day he did it again and it ...

A.   15 November 2007: by telling him and giving him compliments genuinly you are going to give him a huge confidence boost wich would make him want to do it more!... (read in full...)

What to do to make everyone happy.

Q.   I love this guy and I recently told him that i did. However he is going out with my friend. He says he still ant to be friends but now his girlfriend has read the text i sent him telling him and is ignoring me. So he now ignores me in front of her ...

A.   15 November 2007: wait.i just realised your 10-12...ignore what i just said lol... (read in full...)

What to do to make everyone happy.

Q.   I love this guy and I recently told him that i did. However he is going out with my friend. He says he still ant to be friends but now his girlfriend has read the text i sent him telling him and is ignoring me. So he now ignores me in front of her ...

A.   15 November 2007: You dont fall in love with your friends bf... what kind of friend is that anyway :/... (read in full...)

What is a casual relationship? I disagree with my partner.

Q.   I have been in an intimate relationship with another male for three months. Now he is saying we are moving too fast and in the future we should develop a casual relationship. His definition of casual relationship is a monogamous, committed ...

A.   15 November 2007: casual relationship is something not so comitted and serious to me. xx... (read in full...)

Pretending to be gay to get closer to girls? He brought me expensive jewelry - from his supposed bf. What does he expect in return?

Q.   I'm 16 and one of my best friends says he's gay. however, he sometimes treats me in ways which make me wonder if he is just saying he's gay in order to get closer to girls. the other day he bought me some expensive jewelry which he said was from his ...

A.   15 November 2007: I know this doesnt help but i have a friend who i liked alot then one day we just kissed messing around. i built up feelings for him then few weeks later he told me he was gay lol Was pretty funny actually looking back. He asked me to pretend to be ... (read in full...)

How do you have... an interesting personality? What puts off women on a date?

Q.   i have often wondered what it s that puts off women when i want to go on a date with them. I realise now that it is because i am boring. what do i have to do to have an interesting personality?...

A.   15 November 2007: Analyse each women you like/meeting. Be confident and humouros. find out what they like doing and talk about it. maybe suggest you could both do it together. Things i dislike in men personally are: (sorry about some of the spelling) Arrogan... (read in full...)

How do you fight against cellulite?

Q.   Hi I know this isn't really a realtionship questions, but... Does everyone (girls/women) suffer from cellulite?? I've always been a sporty person and about 2 years ago I gave up my career as a gymnast, which lasted for 10 years. I'd never ha...

A.   14 November 2007: I have lost quite a bit by exercising and doing small changes like eating diferent foods. I even left my computer job to work in a huge store running round in a stockroom full time wich is making a huge difference to me and makes me feel so much ... (read in full...)

Starting your period - influence upon breasts size? Do they stop growing?

Q.   My friend told me that when you start your period your breasts stop growing. Is it true?...

A.   14 November 2007:  No it is not true lol... (read in full...)

Help! Theres another girl "sniffing" around my guy..what should I do about it?

Q.   Hi, I've had a long string of bad relationships but this time ive found a really nice guy. Only problem is theres another girl "sniffing" around. She knows full well he has a girlfriend yet she still persists to post flirty messages on his facebook...

A.   13 November 2007: Please talk to him before its too late! if he gets reallyd efensive then it shows hes guilty. if he loves you enough he would talk about it :) good luck x... (read in full...)

What could be going on in her head?? A women's perspective please...

Q.   Hello, Im new on here. My girlfriend broke up with me nearly two months ago. I thought we were doing fine and she just came out with it. She has ignored all my texts apart from the one that said i had some of her things and wanted to return them. Sh...

A.   13 November 2007: Is it normal for people to be like that? alot of Women are so stubborn, im really sorry to hear what happended. Do you think she will regret the way she has been?What could be going on in her head? She will definatly regret it at some point im... (read in full...)

His text message to me was very offensive and wrong! How do I handle this?

Q.   I feel like an idiot. I went out last night to celebrate a friend's birthday. With us was a man that I have had a crush on for quite some time. There is one problem though. He is friends with my ex. I realize that this is not appropriate on so ...

A.   13 November 2007: I think that he didnt know how to react to it so he went for the "lets try and cover what was said by being humourous aproach" i realy realy wouldnt let it bother you hunny. He even mentioned it was a joke at the end. Plus with him being a close ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with my problematic bf or go for the older guy, who is 'not really' into relationships?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 20 months now, we have broken up once for about 2 months and then got back together. everything was going well but he is very difficult and we always fight about something. There is another guy that im quite keen on ...

A.   13 November 2007: Ask yourself what you really want? do you want fun or a real relationship or none of these at the moment? Once you have asked yourself that. then you know the answer. Its nto worth asking what we would do cos everyone has different opinen... (read in full...)

Husband is Deployed, and I'm lonely. Is online relationships and flirting as a coping method...advice?

Q.   Im 22 Happily married and have a beautiful daughter whose now 8 months old. My husband is deployed atm, and i find myself very lonely, and i am seeking comfort in online flirting, and i now have 3 friends who think they love me ( all met online). ...

A.   13 November 2007: There isnt really a way to "deal with the lonliness in a way that doesnt make me feel guilty" I wonder tho how you can be happy married but your lonely. I really think you should talk out how you feel and how you would like to spend mroe time wit... (read in full...)

Am I stupid to settle with someone who loves his money more than me? Advice?

Q.   I am 47 a housewife and is going through divorce at the moment. The life with my husband in the last year is a nightmare. He didnt help me with anything I need at home and gave me less month every month. Sex life is not exist. I was on the verge ...

A.   13 November 2007: Money shouldnt matter in any relationship!! No offence but the amount of age 40+ wives i see everyday on here asking the same thing.its crazy. It really shouldnt matter. Why isnt £30 enough at xmas?? the thougth counts. he helpes you out mentaly ... (read in full...)

I'm only attracted to OLDer men, whereas I'm 17. How do I stop this?

Q.   Okay... so I'm ONLY into older men... it really sucks for me. anytime i like a guy there is always a problem regarding his age, but the sad thing is that i cannot help it. i really try to like guys my age, but it doesn't work out. it really hurts ...

A.   13 November 2007: There isnt a way to stop it really. I think anyone can work if they really both try and want it. I have been with a guy 11 years older before at a younger age and everyone said it would never work out and it did ( i still see him now ). I find ... (read in full...)

I'm 16... can I buy a vibrator? Does "everyone" own one?

Q.   i am sixteen years old and want to use a vibrator but i am embarressed abouit buying one. can i just walk into a shop and buy one? and does everyone use them?...

A.   13 November 2007: i had one at that age and still do although its a bit dusty haha go for it. I spoke to my mum about it at that age and she bought me one herself. She believed it was better than me going round sleeping with people just to explore.... (read in full...)

Will he ever leave her?

Q.   Please help me im in love with a married man who doesnt live near me. We see each other often. We have been together 6 month they have only been married 4. Will he ever leave? I want to move to be closer to him but dont think he would agree. ...

A.   13 November 2007: i agree with tellulah Its a very sticky situation and the fact you been with him longer but he got married while you was seeing each other shows he is leading you up the wrong path... (read in full...)

How can I get to talk to her on her own?

Q.   Hey, I'm 15 and i'm currently in a relationship with a girl my age. We've been together 2 months now and we still find it hard to talk to each other directly. We mostly hang around with her mates and i don't mind that but i think its stopping...

A.   13 November 2007: phone/text her. If shes your gf im assuming you would have her number :) Tell/ask her if she would like to go somewhere wer u both can spend some time together alone as you would like that very much! If you dont have her number and she is with ... (read in full...)

I'm crazy about this guy and can't concentrate on my school work, what should I do?

Q.   i'm crazy about a guy who doesn't even knows i exist. we learn in different schools and i don't even know his name or anything else about him. i think it's a sight love (a big one!). i am a ranking stud but because of this 'love' i can't learn ...

A.   10 November 2007: You have a little crush from someones first impressions. Dont worry about it. You have so much time to meet new people and friends. Im not saying concentrate on your grades cos its easy saying that to anyone in school but you should really have a ... (read in full...)

I want to make plans for our future as a family but he won't talk about it. How should I deal with this?

Q.   It may sound crazy but I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 3 months and I know I want to be committed to him. It literally took us 3 days to fall in love. I've been engaged twice and been in other long-term relationships, but I knew ...

A.   10 November 2007: You really cant put pressure on someone cos you want to have a baby with them. If you do especialy before the 6 month mark at least. I wouldnt be suprised if he ran away scared. I suggest asking him alot later in the relationship things like, Would ... (read in full...)

How does one flirt?

Q.   I need help on flirting! My friends seem to be able to flirt with anyone but i just dont know how! Lads get so turned on by my friends,is there anything i can do to make them get turned on by me?...

A.   10 November 2007: The best way you can flirt and grab a guys attention is too always find out ther interests and play on them.make a guy laugh and talk about things he likes. gd luck... (read in full...)

Should I end this long distance internet romance?

Q.   I am 40yrs old and 2 months ago (after 7 years on my own)I started a relationship (via the internet) with a 25 yr old man in the North of England. We have spoken on the phone every day for a couple of hours at a time and had wonderful phone sex. He ...

A.   10 November 2007: get yourself out n find a real date. as soon as ur happy with someone else then im sure you would feel more comfterable telling him it is over... (read in full...)

How do I end this relationship?

Q.   Im 47 years old just divorced my husband of 20 years. My husband is very mean with money. He has got good income but very mean with money. When my dad was very ill in hospital in the states, he wouldnt buy me a ticket to fly to see him before he ...

A.   10 November 2007: relationships shudnt be about money. If a female or male earns a good income then good for them. Its theirs to keep. I dont agree that he should have to give you whatever your asking for. It sounds extremely selfish of you however i understand about ... (read in full...)

I like this girl a lot and don't know what to do for the best.

Q.   I'm confused and don't know what to do? The story is like this, I have a job, and on this job I'm teaching people how to learn and play a sport I'm like a coach. So I play with important people. This past weeks, one of the clients brought ...

A.   10 November 2007: good luck by the way x... (read in full...)

I like this girl a lot and don't know what to do for the best.

Q.   I'm confused and don't know what to do? The story is like this, I have a job, and on this job I'm teaching people how to learn and play a sport I'm like a coach. So I play with important people. This past weeks, one of the clients brought ...

A.   10 November 2007: We all have to take a risk if we truely want something. You have to think hard about which you would rather gain.. relationship or your career. Theres no way you can have both inless you carry on dating her secretly but be open and honest and tell ... (read in full...)

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