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Heartbroken in Iraq

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 November 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, *isshome writes:

Hello,

I have been with this woman for just over a year, and have been engaged for almost a year. We have been friends for 10 years and she was my first real girlfriend. We dated way back when we were in 9th grade and were just friends until one day when i was home on leave from Germany after i got back from Iraq. We are so in love and everything is awesome accept for the part that i'm in Iraq again. She has a beautiful three yr old girl that i love just as much as her, and we plan on getting married when i get out of the army on a year and a half. Anyways she is having hard time with me being gone and is always leaving me emails telling me to call her that she is drunk and she took some pills and might of overdosed. This is really stressful for me as you can imagine. She claims to be done with this pill popping. But this past weekend she was gonna go out to get really trashed to just try to forget everything and she said she messed up. I thought she slept with someone but when i called her she said a friend of mine told ehr to kiss her on the lips so she pecked him on the lips. Also she said that she was acting like a whore and everyone was grabbing her ass and just being sloppy drunk. The next morning she realised what a dumb ass she was and told me, and her mom cause she was so ashamed of what she did. I still love her but i was wondering what everyone else thought. Please give me your 2 cents.

--heartbroken in Iraq

View related questions: drunk, engaged

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007):

First off, God bless you for where you are & what you are doing. I hope you get out of there safe and soon. If she is admitting to you of her mistakes, to me that is a sign that she deeply cares about you. I also think that it took some courage to not only admit what she did to you but also her Mom. I think she is just as lonely and misses you as much as you miss her. What you have to ask yourself is: Can I forgive her? I think I know your awnswer. You have spend a good part of your life with her, and I do not think you want to end that now. So, tell her that you know and understand what it is to be away from the person you love. I hope you two get back to each other very soon. Good luck, and Thank You.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (7 November 2007):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

It must be very hard for you. She sounds lonely and bored. The going out and getting trashed and pashing a strange man is attention seeking. She misses you and this is her only outlet.Is there anyway for you to get someone from your family to keep and eye out for her. I dont mean in a controlling way but as a friend , someone who can spend time with her, invite her to family functions etc. She needs to feel part of a family not to be the girl on the fringes.

My suggestion to you is to send her messages as often as you can via email or whatever. If you constantly tell her how much you love her and miss her its a constant reminder that she has something worth waiting for . It can be one line or 20 pages , it doesnt matter just keep writing and talking.

All the best. Stay safe bro.

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