| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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My best friend freaked out over the 'maid of honor' title
Q. My Best friend just completely freaked out on me because she isn't going to be my Maid of Honor. Best friend and I have been best friends for over 20 years. We have both been there for each other in good times and bad. I was the maid of honor at...
A. 15 April 2015: You need to meet her half way. Apologize as well, rather than judge her and look down your nose at her (the way you say you don't think her apology is good enough for you...). Accept her apology, or lose a friend! Your choice. In all relationships, ... (read in full...)
Were they accusing my mother?
Q. So basically, we went to my aunt's house up in Dallas for a holiday get together. We were all having fun, but during the process, my aunt lost the diamond on her wedding ring. A few days later, when we came back to Houston, and after they searc...
A. 23 November 2014: Who talkef to your aunt on the phone? Just calling to hear how things went ans rant about a mission diamond isnt an accusation. I thinl your mom probably is thinking too far ahead. If it was jer who picked up the phone, so they asked her about it. ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my alcoholic boyfriend while I gear up to leaving him?
Q. I think my boyfriend of 6 years is an alcoholic. We met when I was 18 and he was 20, and we've both always been social drinkers and have grown up together in the pub culture. He has always drunk maybe 6 times a week, but not enough to get drunk on ...
A. 23 November 2014: Its not fair to him to pretend everything is fine, when in reality you are already out the door, at least mentally.
What I will suggest you do is probably not moally right either, but at least its better than faking things. At what time do you t... (read in full...)
Why do women cheat?
Q. I don't mean to sound sexist or come off as judgemental I'm just really curious as to why married women cheat? I mean I can understand why men cheat, they produce sperm like every freakin day of their life so of course they're gonna wanna let ...
A. 22 November 2014: Lol! No offense, but this has to be a troll question. According to your theory, women would not want sex after the age of 30, lmao. In the case you are sincerely asking, someone ought to inform you that a mans sperm, a womans eggs, sexual drive and ... (read in full...)
My 36 year old boyfriend is extremely damaged. I'm ready to give up.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years but he's so damaged I'm ready to throw in the towel. His entire life has been a fucked up mess and he refuses to do anything about it. I'm going to tell you about his childhood/past relationships first ...
A. 22 November 2014: So you went on a resque mission, only to find that the subject is quite happy with his mess and misery, and has no intent to better anything. So what do you do? Insist that he needs help? Honey, you list up a lot of things you think he needs help ... (read in full...)
How do you tactfully raise the question of STD testing?
Q. I have only had sex with one person in my life, we were both virgins and never slept with anyone else. We broke up a few months ago. I was not very concerned with getting any kind of disease from him because we were our 1sts and only partners, b...
A. 22 November 2014: Its really easy. Most people these days are well informed, and get testee regularly. As a good rule of thumb, always get yourself tested between partners. So you should get tested too, even if you do not suspect anything. Its just a good rule of ... (read in full...)
My best friend freaked out over the 'maid of honor' title
Q. My Best friend just completely freaked out on me because she isn't going to be my Maid of Honor. Best friend and I have been best friends for over 20 years. We have both been there for each other in good times and bad. I was the maid of honor at...
A. 22 November 2014: I agree with YouWish, honestly. I wasnt even thinking of all the points she brought up, but they made me even more sure. You are sucking your friend dry getting her to put in her time and money (doing stuff for free that she could have been paid to ... (read in full...)
Decode this Text PLEASE!
Q. What does this mean Help! I text him after a couple of days of no communication. I asked him how he was and he wrote back "Super Busy" I text back "ok and he responded back fast by saying "Please don't read into this I am super busy" seeing him for ...
A. 22 November 2014: Ha, thats funny. He asked you to not read anything into it, and then thats exactly what you do. He must know you well, since he knew you wouldn't just trust him. A this drama. Your friends are really not good friends to insinuate that he is lying to ... (read in full...)
How can I tell in advance if a threesome will mess things up?
Q. I'm unsure about whether or not to have a threesome (ffm) with my boyfriend. We have a solid relationship. Used to have some issues but we've worked through them. I know he would love to have one and I'm not closed off to the idea at all, I think it ...
A. 22 November 2014: Listen carefully now. When you have doubts like you do, and your doubts are well founded, then you should absolutely not have a threesome. Threesomes are not you every day sexual activity. Threesomes are in the category of heavy bondage, extreme ... (read in full...)
What makes a woman attractive to a man?
Q. hi everyone , what is it that makes a female attractive to a male i dont mean their looks i mean like confidence but what happens if you dont have any what can help make you be more confident and other things like do they like someone funny serious ...
A. 20 November 2014: I will say that independence is by far the most attractive thing in a woman, for most modern men. They love a woman who can go get what she wants and doesn't apologize for it. Confidence sort of also falls under this one, because confident people ... (read in full...)
Is this normal in sex? I'm new to it and have no confidence in what I'm doing!
Q. So i have a question for the guys! If you have sex with someone and use the pull out method (i know not entirely sensible but sometimes it happens) is it normal to finish yourself off as it were?? This happened on a recent conquest of mine and being ...
A. 20 November 2014: Yeah, its normal. But for heavens sakes dont be stupid and have unprotected sex, it offers absolutely no security, and is so not worth the risks. Pregnancy is one thing, another is your health and future at stake, should you get a STI. Get tested ... (read in full...)
My ex is ill so I haven't told him I'm in a new relationship yet!
Q. Ok, cutting a long story short, a few months ago my ex who still has feelings for me became very ill (we're still friends and have contact at his request). Around the same time I met someone else who's ex treated him terribly and left him/cheated on ...
A. 20 November 2014: This is interesting to hear, because I am in the exact same position. I could have written this question myself. My ex is also very ill, it was life threatening in periods. I have not told my ex about my new boyfriend, but my new boyfriend knows ... (read in full...)
Liking someone, or liking the idea of someone?
Q. What is the Difference between liking someone and the idea of someone? I've been out with a girl a number of times. I have a nice time with her. I dont feel a huge sense of attraction there, but I do feel the start of a nice warm feeling about he...
A. 18 November 2014: Well, you can like both her AND the idea of having a partner. You obviously do like her, if you thought she was terrible or boring you wouldnt be seeing her. But in love? Not yet. However those feelings tend to need time to build up, especially if ... (read in full...)
Is it common for women to lose interest in anal play after childbirth?
Q. Ok for the ladies out there that have had a baby, how has this affected your enjoyment or preferences to anal sex? I'm just asking because my wife does not see in to anal sex at all since the birth of our first. She would ask for it at times and ...
A. 18 November 2014: I think you need to talk to her. This is not something you can make a general statement on, you need to talk to your wife and listen to what she says. I find it a bit odd that in two years, you haven't mentioned it? There's never been a discussion? ... (read in full...)
Weird feeling during sex
Q. So when my boyfriend and I are having sex, I swear it feels like something is moving inside. I feel like my stomach or uterus or something is moving when there's thrusting. Yoy can hear it too. It sounds like a stomach gurgle kinda thing. I'm not ...
A. 18 November 2014: Yeah, or you just had too much to drink right before sex. That would cause both the sound and feeling of something moving around. ... (read in full...)
Does a blow job require this in order to feel good?
Q. Guys when a girl gives you a blow job, does a girl have to deep throat for it to feel good for you. Answers from guys only please. ...
A. 18 November 2014: Why answers from guys only? I think Ive given enough blowjobs to enough men to be able to say that: no, you do not need to deep throat. I rarely do, and yet they ALWAYS experience great pleasure. How do I know? Because you see, when a man is really ... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to understand that I can't text at work! How can I make it sink it?
Q. Is there any way I can stop my man being so needy? I love him to bits and he is everything I want in a partner but he's very clingy and dependant on me which is really starting to annoy me. He texts me all day every day. At his job he can. At my job ...
A. 18 November 2014: How old is he? How long have you been together?
Just be firm. He sounds like a child that needs discipline. Do not text him from work, period. Not at all. Turn off your phone. Give your boyfriend the phone number to your boss to call in case of ... (read in full...)
When it comes to sex she calls the shots
Q. My girlfriend Is controlling sexually she keeps rejecting me every time if try to have sex. It's destroying our relationship so much, I try to talk she won't We have sex 1time a month on her command. It is destroying my masculinity Help me flip...
A. 18 November 2014: Sorry, but there's no flip to this. This is who she is. You should re-evaluate the relationship, because things will NOT get better. They truly will not. This is who she is, and it's already destroying you. You should not marry her, you will not be ... (read in full...)
What's up with this friend's hugs and kisses?
Q. Just a general question about body language. I've been away on a nice long 6 week holiday and come back refreshed and ready for anything. Except one of my friends reaction to my return. We are very close but I'm not really one to indulge in big...
A. 18 November 2014: If she's a friend of yours, I wonder why you don't just ask her? Or are you not really friends? You really need to ask her, if you want to know. You also need to learn to express yourself and TELL people how this and that makes you feel, especially ... (read in full...)
Love him but he's very abusive when angry
Q. I'm on my last bit of hope for my relationship. I have been going out with my boyfriend 2 years and like any relationship we have our ups and downs. I figured out pretty soon in the relationship that he was very verbally aggressive in arguments and ...
A. 17 November 2014: Change boyfriend. Thats the ONLY way to change things. Of course abusers can be charming when they want to, thats how they ensure you dont leave, and they can continue to step on you until your self esteem and self worth is so low you dont think you ... (read in full...)
Weird feeling during sex
Q. So when my boyfriend and I are having sex, I swear it feels like something is moving inside. I feel like my stomach or uterus or something is moving when there's thrusting. Yoy can hear it too. It sounds like a stomach gurgle kinda thing. I'm not ...
A. 17 November 2014: Probably air. Hes a new boyfriend, I guess?... (read in full...)
A love that hurts at times
Q. Ok so long story short, I met the love of my life 8 months ago. I say the love of my life and you're probably asking why I'm on here... I need help from your opinions on understanding a few things.. Mainly the women using this. First of all.. The ...
A. 17 November 2014: Different love languages, dude. No, love is not about going out of your way for the other, its not fixed in certain terms like that. Google the five love languages, and you will see the five most common ways people show love. But either way, love is ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work when it starts with sex on the first date?
Q. Does sex on first date ever lead to a relationship? I met "Al" two weeks ago and the connection was amazing. We didn't want the date to end so we hung out on his roof and then, his place. One thing led to another and we slept together. I have NEVER ...
A. 16 November 2014: Relationships that start off with sex have as much chance of succeeding as all others, as long as your mind is not clouded by it and you still work on getting to know one another. Thats the only problem, really, that your vision gets clouded. ... (read in full...)
I told him its me or the weed ...
Q. my boyfriend stopped smoking weed and recently he talked about starting back. but me on the other hand hate it and don't want to be around it. What should I do? I told him to pick me or weed and he says its up to me.. help!...
A. 16 November 2014: Huh? You told him to pick and he says it's up to you? Alright, sounds like he made his decision then? He picked the weed? Or how are we supposed to interpret this?
Leave. He obviously thinks wasting time and money on drugs is worth more than kee... (read in full...)
My fiance and father of our child has revealed that he has fantasies about having sex with other women. How am I supposed to cope with this?
Q. What would you do/think if your fiance who you just had a baby with says he fantasises/wants to have sex with other women! One of the woman he sees around work and talks to. Hes never cheated as far as i know and says he only would sleep with oth...
A. 16 November 2014: So he was talking about a threesome? I still need information on the circumstances here, how did discussion about a threesome come up? Who brought this up and why?
If it was just daily chit chat, and then the discussion went from playful to a bit... (read in full...)
If there's another woman she doesn't deserve this either
Q. I have been with the same guy for six years. In this entire time we have gone out two times as a couple. Most of the time it's just the mattress mambo and nothing else. I have spoken to him about building a more solid relationship together over the ...
A. 16 November 2014: Yeah, you are wrong. You have lost focus completely. Forget about this other woman, what on earth does she have to do with you? She's adult, she can take care of herself, that is if she even exists. The person I am MORE worried about, who seems NOT ... (read in full...)
I am heatbroken there was no compromise or compassion!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 weeks. Things were going so well until yesterday evening. He invited me to a wedding and I gladly accepted the invitation (the bride and groom wanted to meet me too) The wedding was a sunrise one so it ...
A. 16 November 2014: I don't like this question because of the way it is worded it will be a wasps nest to enter the debate... But here goes.
You and him are just different. There's nothing wrong in what he does or what he wants to do, and there's nothing wrong in... (read in full...)
This ONS seemed different ...
Q. DISCLAIMER: I came out of a long term relationship 8 months ago, have no desire for a relationship and am simply having a bit of fun before I get too old! And yes I'm always careful. One night stands.. Am I right in thinking that it's usua...
A. 15 November 2014: I think he just valued his time with you, and didn't see a need to rush out in embarrassment. But it was a ONS none the less, so no need to cramp your space. I think if you wanted to hang out with him he might have wanted it, and get to know you ... (read in full...)
My fiance and father of our child has revealed that he has fantasies about having sex with other women. How am I supposed to cope with this?
Q. What would you do/think if your fiance who you just had a baby with says he fantasises/wants to have sex with other women! One of the woman he sees around work and talks to. Hes never cheated as far as i know and says he only would sleep with oth...
A. 15 November 2014: In what context did he say this? It is quite relevant in order to understand his intentions. You know him best, can you tell us what you think his intentions were in telling you this?
I think you should factor in that you just had a baby also, an... (read in full...)
My girlfriend complains that I don't see her but I have to work!
Q. Me and my gf been going out for 2 years. We have struggled with money but now have finally found jobs. I am not happy with my job however I want to make the most of it. I work Monday to Friday 7.30-5.30 am And second job is Monday t...
A. 15 November 2014: Yeah, I didn't know about the long distance thing. So you actually are in a long distance relationship.
Then you and her need to talk about expectations. Really. No "but she gets impatient". You need to talk to her about it, and not just HER expe... (read in full...)
I have the hots for the amazingly hot baby sitter
Q. I have an amazingly hot baby sitter, she is new to my family, just me and my daughter, but I have known her sister for while now. How do I find out if she has any interest? I wont lie I would love to see her in more ways than just my baby sitter. I ...
A. 15 November 2014: Ugh, hands off, because baby sitters will be hard to get if rumor comes out you're trying to get with them.
I say, just be respectable. She works for you and is half your age. The power balance is skewed, and this isn't right. She is off limits. ... (read in full...)
How do I continue with this relationship with my married boyfriend when I have periods of doubt creeping in around his ability to be faithful to me?
Q. Hello DC Friends. I could use your advice. Not judgement or answers which predict future behaviour and outcome. None of us knows what will happen with certainty. And let us remember that not every man is the same nor is what they do nor is every ...
A. 15 November 2014: "My question is how do I continue with this relationship when I have periods of doubt creeping in around his ability to be faithful to me?"
"He has done nothing concrete to prove he is unfaithful"
Yes, he has, which is probably where your fear ... (read in full...)
Can a man be happy with a slim girl when he really prefers BBW?
Q. My boyfriend is into pretty much only BBW / chubby porn, but won't just admit he fancies big girls. he says it gets him off but I just have a gut feeling he prefers big girls. None of his exes have been too chubby though and I am slim. Hi calls me ...
A. 15 November 2014: You are putting too much emphasis on this supposed sexual preference of his.
It's really quite simple. He has a relationship with you because he is attracted to you. Men, and women, as a general rule, do NOT enter relationships with people t... (read in full...)
My girlfriend complains that I don't see her but I have to work!
Q. Me and my gf been going out for 2 years. We have struggled with money but now have finally found jobs. I am not happy with my job however I want to make the most of it. I work Monday to Friday 7.30-5.30 am And second job is Monday t...
A. 15 November 2014: Why are you doing two full time jobs (basically)?
No, it is not always better to spend a month apart and then treat yourselves. This is a question of quantity over quality, and also a question of maintaining a relationship.
Sorry if I am... (read in full...)
It's our baby's first Christmas so what's the harm in spending it in our home instead of their daddy's ex's?
Q. Hello! My boyfriend and I normally spend every Christmas at his ex girlfriends house so that he can spend the day with his son. It's incredibly nice of her to let us spend it there and even more so that her boyfriend is ok with it too. We have ...
A. 15 November 2014: Sounds like the solution is that you stay at home withe the baby, and have your family/friends come over to visit you and the baby. Then your boyfriend can go to his ex to be with his son, for most of the day, and then maybe bring the son back to ... (read in full...)
I've been supportive about my husband's cross dressing. So why has he resorted to tells lies to me now about his activities?
Q. Ok so I have known that my husband was a cross-dresser since before we got married. When he first told me about it, he started making craigslist posts to meet up with others to experiment... He never told me about it but I found the posts... He ...
A. 15 November 2014: I think a good place to start is to treat this for what it is. Regardless of cross dressing, regardless of homosexuality (yes, he is either homosexual or at least bisexual), what primarily is a problem here is the lies and cheating. Going online to ... (read in full...)
Two weeks ago my husband joined a gym, and now he has no energy left for intimacy. What can I do?
Q. Just a quick one really... My husband and I have been together for a good 4-5 years and we have always had a good sex life (3-5 times a week) up till about two weeks ago when he joined a gym. I'm all up for him going and getting fit feeling bett...
A. 15 November 2014: I say give it some more time. If you have no reason to suspect anything going on, then don't start making guesses. So far the only change you know of, that was mentioned here, was that he started to go to the gym. It's just been two weeks, so ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mom wants to be my best friend
Q. Ok so I know this sounds like a good problem to have but my boyfriend's mother (my eventual MIL) wants to literally be my best friend. She comments on ALL of my photos, shared posts, statuses, EVERYTHING on Facebook. She even will comment on my ...
A. 15 November 2014: OP, if that was you writing a feedback down there (it wasn't recognized as coming from the original poster), yes your case does seem trivial to me. I don't mean to be cruel, but some times people need to hear it like it is. It is a trivial matter, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mom wants to be my best friend
Q. Ok so I know this sounds like a good problem to have but my boyfriend's mother (my eventual MIL) wants to literally be my best friend. She comments on ALL of my photos, shared posts, statuses, EVERYTHING on Facebook. She even will comment on my ...
A. 14 November 2014: I say... get over yourself. Sorry to be blunt, but her being all over your FACEBOOK does NOT equal her wanting to be your best friend. If you think that's what a "best friend" is, then you need to reevaluate your idea of friendship.
This woman is... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel so guilty when I've moved on?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years two months ago, we did not see each other since then as we are living far apart, but we were texting almost everyday. For me, the relationship has died some time ago, mainly due to his immaturity and ...
A. 14 November 2014: I think you experience some degree of guilt because you know what you have done will hurt him if he finds out, even if you are not wrong in what you have done. I think you are right in moving on, it is what you need. It is your life, and I always ... (read in full...)
We're getting married in 5 months. Am I asking too much to want fire and passion in our relationship? What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need your advice. I have been with the same man for over three years. We have lived together and shared money for two and a half of those. I am 24 and he is 28. "Joe" is the "perfect" man. He is chivalrous, hardworking, selfless...
A. 13 November 2014: Dont get married. You don't want to, you say so yourself. So tell me then, why are you going ahead with marrying him?
Don't stay just because you are afraid this is the best you can get, when you are not happy. You're not happy after 3 years, s... (read in full...)
Hurt by his ex, all he's ready for is a friendship
Q. About a month ago, I met an amazing guy. We hit it off right away and we started to spend every single day together, as well as I stayed over every night. He asked me to come over every day and stay every night. It felt amazing to be wanted. He ...
A. 13 November 2014: Stay away from him. He doesn't know what he wants, and trust me... You can not make up his mind for him, no matter how perfect a girlfriend you would be. If he wanted you, he'd be chasing you, plain and simple.
I think he's actually rude, to... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
