A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have only had sex with one person in my life, we were both virgins and never slept with anyone else. We broke up a few months ago. I was not very concerned with getting any kind of disease from him because we were our 1sts and only partners, but now I am wondering what should I do with any other sexual partner I might have. How can I ask tastefully for us to get exams to make sure both of us are ok?I`m on the pill and I have always used condoms, I plan on keep using them but I know they can fail.I think I would sound silly asking for a test and not trusting my hypothetical next partner if he says he is healthy, but I don´t feel comfortable with that.What should I do? Thank you very much.
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both virgins, broke up, condom, std, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2014):
 Its really easy. Most people these days are well informed, and get testee regularly. As a good rule of thumb, always get yourself tested between partners. So you should get tested too, even if you do not suspect anything. Its just a good rule of thumb, like washing your hands before eating. Once you have done it, and experienced how easy it is to get tested (many places offer tests for free), it will be easier to inform a new partner about the process. You can also talk to the nurses/doctors at the clinic, to get more information about how they test in men/how to adk your partner to get tested. There will often be leaflets you can bring home, with information.
I have asked all the boyfriends I have had, to get tested. They all agreed without much complaint. Only my most recent bf was a bit unsure if it was necessary, but he'd never been tested before, so I think he was just nervous because it was new to him. Even so, no one has ever been offended. Just say that it is a good custom to get tested before having sex with a new partner. Some STIs dont have symptoms, so testing is necessary. And most STIs are treatable and dont cause much harm. So it is nothing to be scared of (as some might gave an STI but be scared to find out for sure, and some are afraid if doctors).
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