| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I suffer from terrible adult acne and its really affecting my self-esteem.
Q. Hi Aunts. It his isn't a love question as such but it does relate to my low self esteem, . I have suffered with acne for ten plus years of my life. It's always had a huge impact on my confidence and I've often skipped going out or seeing people ...
A. 5 August 2014: PS. I first asked my doctor about this and all she could offer me was another acne cream that only works on light pimples. Doctors are different depending on what country you are in, as well as from doctor to doctor. But I went to a private ... (read in full...)
Have I been over-thinking the issues surrounding bringing a dog into our new home?
Q. I really need some advice. This is something I'm getting all OCD about! For my entire life, I have always wanted a dog. My partner and I have a brand new home, we're yet to have children and it just seems like a good time to bring that speci...
A. 5 August 2014: I didnt say rescue dogs arent great dogs too. I said that they require an experienced owner. Training an adult dog is a lot harder than training a puppy. Especially if they were not diciplined by the previous owners/are traumatized. My mom got a ... (read in full...)
I suffer from terrible adult acne and its really affecting my self-esteem.
Q. Hi Aunts. It his isn't a love question as such but it does relate to my low self esteem, . I have suffered with acne for ten plus years of my life. It's always had a huge impact on my confidence and I've often skipped going out or seeing people ...
A. 5 August 2014: Go see a dermatologist. Acne creams are just fake crap, they dont work. If you have adult acne, you need to see a dermatologist to sort it out. Me and my best friend were put on Isotretinoin, and its worked miracles. Acne free for 4 years now! Its a ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel guilty even though I didn't cheat?
Q. I am married to a lovely man who I love dearly. I would never intentionally hurt him. Anyway, last week I was at a party at my friends house. No one knew each other, and there was a bit of an awkward silence. I noticed the guy sitting next to ...
A. 5 August 2014: Dont feel guilty. He only said that to try and get you to kiss him. What you said was nowhere near cheating. You know the circumstances, you know youd never do anything like that, and you know why you said what you said. This guy was just twisting ... (read in full...)
Have I been over-thinking the issues surrounding bringing a dog into our new home?
Q. I really need some advice. This is something I'm getting all OCD about! For my entire life, I have always wanted a dog. My partner and I have a brand new home, we're yet to have children and it just seems like a good time to bring that speci...
A. 5 August 2014: As youve never had a dog before I strongly advise you to get a puppy, and absolutely do not get a grown up dog from a shelter. You are inexperienced, and dogs with behavioural problems, or who have not learned dicipline from the start, need ... (read in full...)
He ticks every box .... apart from his very bad breath!
Q. I've been hanging out with a guy I know from swimming club and recently he's asked me out on 3 dates. He's tall, fit, healthy, has a great job, is close to his family, we get along so well and he ticks pretty much every box! The only problem is....
A. 3 August 2014: Tough situation! This is a tricky one. But still, the options are clear.
A) You tell him, and the result is he either stops seeing you, or he fixes his breath.
B) You don't tell him and stop seeing him.
Since option B will mean you wont m... (read in full...)
My partner's mother makes my life miserable.......
Q. Hi, I need help on how to tell my partner I think his mother has Jocasta syndrome. We have been together just over a year and a half. He is 22 and studying at university, I'm a year older and work full time, we are engaged since 4 months in to our...
A. 3 August 2014: Look, you have the upper hand here. Yes, they have a joint bank account, but once you and him are married he can't have that account with her. He'll be having joint accounts with you. And once your child is born, she wont necessarily get to meet ... (read in full...)
I don't want his friends to think badly of me, but I also don't think I should just take what he throws at me!
Q. I'm not very assertive so would really like some advice on how I should have acted last night. My boyfriend and I went to a wedding reception last night. During the day, I was texting him about the arrangements, and he was only giving me one wo...
A. 3 August 2014: I think your boyfriend is passive aggressive, manipulative and not someone you should be dating, to be honest. He told you his friends think you're a drama queen? Let me tell you, girl, that his friends did not say that or think that about you. Why ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday messsage on Facebook
Q. My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday message to a girl I used to do sexting with on Facebook. She says she dosen't want to see me anymore , what should I do ? I don't see the big deal ! All I said was happy Birthday. My ...
A. 3 August 2014: Start by not ever mentioning whatever you did with other girls in the past. It's not a good thing to bring up in general. Second, if she's so insecure she wants to leave you over this then I say let her go and good riddance. Who needs all that ... (read in full...)
Its so hard to break from someone when you both still love one another!
Q. Please help. I need some good advice, as this situation has me very upset. My gf (both women) and I were together for two years. I loved this woman more than I've ever loved another soul before. I wanted to share my future with her. I've never ...
A. 2 August 2014: "Should I just let go and move on?"
Yes. You need to let go and move on. Bad timing, or maybe you weren't actually "meant to be". There's not really such a thing as soulmates or whatever, "destiny". It's just a matter of two people meeting ... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed. How can I speak my mind? How can I find more life satisfaction?
Q. I'm extremely overwhelmed. I am married with 3 kids ages 5 and under. I'm a stay at home mom and i do everything!! Cooking, cleaning, taking care of everyone and i feel like i have completely lost myself. I used to have hobbies and a life and i j...
A. 2 August 2014: I don't know you, or know what would be best for you to do. But if I was in your situation, feelings like you describe, here's what I'd do.
I'd talk to my husband first and foremost. Not typical complaining. But sit him down and talk to him. I'd... (read in full...)
Will I have difficulties in pregnancy because the man weighs alot more than me?
Q. My boyfriend weights 124 kilograms and my weight is just 56 kilogram. We're planning to have a baby. Will I have to face any difficulty during pregnancy because of the fact that I'm going to get pregnant by a man who weights a lot more than me?...
A. 1 August 2014: No. ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant from dry humping?
Q. My boyfriend and I dry humped. I have like cheer shorts on, they are short and thin plus underwear. He had underwear and like guys athletic shorts. Well we were humping and I felt something wet down there. Im scared I could be pregant please help!...
A. 31 July 2014: SVC I am so glad you said that, haha! I am happy if there's sexual education in the states, and maybe the poster is actually just underage. But still, with all the questions about weird forms to possibly get pregnant, and them all coming from ... (read in full...)
Question on BDSM: What things could I do or use sexually to drive my B/f wild?
Q. Hi cupids, this is a question in hope of gathering all of the BDSM style members. My partner is into BDSM and loves anything considered dirty/experimental. In the past we have used hot candle wax, being tied up etc but what I'm here to ask is, how ...
A. 31 July 2014: Look, everyone is different in the bedroom and like different things. It wont help you if I tell you how I drive my men crazy, because different things work for different guys! Seriously, this is something you need to experiment with your own ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he just not that into me?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I feel like he’s just not that into me. He’s been in florida for over 2 weeks now, but I’m always the one calling/texting him. This isn’t the first time that this has happened. He goes down to Florida to ...
A. 31 July 2014: You are overreacting. He told you he needs space! Hes thar kind of man! You are just different in this respect. You like a lot if contact and attebtion, he does not. Doesnt say anything about his feelings for you. Its just a matter of difference in ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he just not that into me?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I feel like he’s just not that into me. He’s been in florida for over 2 weeks now, but I’m always the one calling/texting him. This isn’t the first time that this has happened. He goes down to Florida to ...
A. 31 July 2014: You are overreacting. He told you he needs space! Hes thar kind of man! You are just different in this respect. You like a lot if contact and attebtion, he does not. Doesnt say anything about his feelings for you. Its just a matter of difference in ... (read in full...)
He won't commit! We are stuck in a cycle of breaking up and making up!
Q. I met a guy 4 years ago. At the time I was 25 and he was 38. We soon started seeing each other and after 4 months I had met his family. Everything seemed to be going well other than the fact that he started working longer hours and going out salsa ...
A. 31 July 2014: Girl, wake up and smell the coffee. Who cares why he doesnt want to commit. He doesnt want to. The more important question is: why on eartg do you want to commit to him??? Seriously, do you not know there are other men in the world? You do not need ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant from dry humping?
Q. My boyfriend and I dry humped. I have like cheer shorts on, they are short and thin plus underwear. He had underwear and like guys athletic shorts. Well we were humping and I felt something wet down there. Im scared I could be pregant please help!...
A. 31 July 2014: No. You can not get pregnant from this. The wetnes was also most likely from yourself being turned on. I highly recommend you study how babies are made and read up on sex, clearly you have not been taught this in school. Which doesnt surprise me, ... (read in full...)
He's dry in his texts and never compliments me, but he keeps asking to see me and is messaging while on his holiday?
Q. Hi there, so im seeing this guy for about a month now we see each other about once a week! i cant tell if hes into me or not as hes really dry over text and never compliments me? but he still asks to see me! hes on holiday just now and managed to ...
A. 30 July 2014: Have you kissed him yet? What have you been doing/how is he acting when you are on dates? If he's just dry over texts but connects with you in person then I guess he's just not a big texter. Not everyone likes to text/call, and come off as dry and ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child?
Q. Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child? I know it may seem harmless but it's actually rather hurt me. I was 17 when I had my son, who is now...
A. 30 July 2014: PS. You might also add "And if I wear that dress, they wont laugh at me. They'll be jealous of how amazing I look it in", and then maybe smile to ease the tension. ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child?
Q. Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child? I know it may seem harmless but it's actually rather hurt me. I was 17 when I had my son, who is now...
A. 30 July 2014: I don't think it was meant as anything but a joke. If it really hurt you, I think you should talk to her about it and tell her how her joke made you feel. Just something like "I know you meant it as a joke, and yes, Im not a virgin, but in this day ... (read in full...)
What interesting things can I do with a guy at a boring mall?
Q. I'm going on a date with a 23 year old I met online tomorrow afternoon. Now, at 19, this is my first date. I havn't even told him that because I find it so embarrassing. We've planned on meeting at a mall. I'd like some ideas on fun, flirty, ...
A. 30 July 2014: I would go and just follow his lead. He is the man, he's supposed to take charge and you just follow his lead. Maybe have a few options in case he doesn't have any ideas, but I would play it cool and let him decide. Men love it when they feel like ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with a man who is watching the 'teen' category in porn?
Q. As a woman I have no problem with consentually adult material ie porn however I often notice when seeing the categories that teen is always one of them Personally it makes me feel sick and I steer well away from that but maybe I'm overreac...
A. 30 July 2014: It's not a sign of anything wrong. People are drawn to the fantasy of what's forbidden. For an adult man, a teenager at 18 is most likely out of reach, so it becomes a sweet fantasy.
Sure, some people who are off in their heads might watch it... (read in full...)
Does he love me if he wants a threesome?
Q. Does he love me. Wants threesome other women ...
A. 30 July 2014: Wanting a threesome or not doesn't say anything about his love for you, it just states his sexual preference. ... (read in full...)
My family ignored my repeated requests to have a homemade card for my birthday. I"m hurt and disappointed!
Q. Ok, so it is my 19th birthday today, so this may sound trivial, but it's important to me. When I was growing up, it was a tradition to make birthday/anniversary/Christmas/thank you cards for family. That continued for me and my older brother until ...
A. 30 July 2014: You should talk to them and ask them why they bought you a card after all, because it meant so much to you to have a home made card. Now, you can't force someone to do something for you, you need to understand that. A gift is a gift, not an ... (read in full...)
At the moment writing is his priority, I want marriage and kids in the future, do I wait or walk?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend just over a year. Everything is amazing! I thought i was in love with previous partners but nothing compares to how i feel about him. Hes so much fun and just completely gets me. He is eight years older than me. I have a ...
A. 29 July 2014: I don't think his heart is in it. I also write and would like to publish something and earn money off of it, yet that doesn't mean I don't know I want children. Sounds like he thinks he needs to be done writing before he can have children, as if he ... (read in full...)
I know its hypocritical of me, but I am jealous!
Q. Hi all, So my ex and I broke up a Couple of months ago. We needed the time to resolve some issues and now we have decided to try again. I dated during our break up, and he did too except he went on a dating profile as he's not a big drinker and also...
A. 29 July 2014: Urgh, you should have never asked about what he did when single.
How to get over it? Respect that you and him were single. In your head, it sounds like you don't recognize that you were single. If you had NOT been with him before, and then bro... (read in full...)
I'm the lonliest guy in the world ...
Q. Hello everybody, I am a 17 year old guy who is extremely lonely. I am 6'5" tall and I'm not bad looking. I just graduated high school, I have friends, I have family, but I've never had a girlfriend, and I am pretty much the lonliest guy in the w...
A. 29 July 2014: How are you lonely, when you have friends?
Perhaps your friendships don't run that deep? I would try and maybe connect with some of your friends and see if you can't build a stronger friendship, one where you can speak openly and complete... (read in full...)
My B/f's having a relationship with another girl who I was led to believe was his ex, I snooped though his texts and guess what I found?
Q. Hey all so I've been dating this guy going on 3 months we started dating while he was in another relationship. The relationship was serious he and the girl he was with had been together a year and 3 months and they lived together. Any way I was so...
A. 28 July 2014: Woman, seriously, you need some tough love. You're delusional. Are you kidding me?!?! Here I thought you were going to just have a rant at how foolish you were to get involved with a taken man, and how you have now learned your lesson etc etc, and ... (read in full...)
I'm gutted that my boyfriend canceled our getaway weekend and went out with friends instead!
Q. Hi everyone, Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years. Things have always been good. Recently we've both been busy with work but I've found I'm seeing my boyfriend less and less. He plays football for a local club and trains ...
A. 28 July 2014: Im wondering why, after 4 years, you aren't more committed? Not living together, or have any plans of moving in? Maybe the relationship has run its course, and he's pulling out. He isn't that interested in spending time with you any longer, and it ... (read in full...)
He likes me! But am I over thinking? What if I do later change my mind about having children?
Q. Hello dear cupid'ers! I'm head over heels in love and it's absolutely wonderful, this guy is officially the cats pyjamas. We have been in a relationship for around 9 months now, and we are looking at getting a place together. I know we make eac...
A. 27 July 2014: What if you one day want kids? What if you one day find yourself falling for a woman and no longer like men? What if you fall in love with another man? What if you discover marriage wasn't for you, and want to be single? What if, what if, what ... (read in full...)
I'd like to give him oral but I'm not so sure about his hygiene
Q. I want to give my new boyfriend, of 4 months, oral sex, but I've noticed an off smell down there, and I think it's due to him not washing himself properly under his foreskin area. The other guys I have been with in the past haven't had the ...
A. 27 July 2014: Tell him... I guess it is awkward, but I always just ask the guy how long ago did they wash up. Even before intercourse. I am likely to get UTI if a guy isnt clean and fresh, so I just ask "when did you clean yourself last?" If it was cleaned 10 ... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake in breaking up with my boyfriend?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm trying to figure out if it was a mistake or not. We'd been official for about three weeks, but we'd been seeing each other for almost 3 months. I broke up with him because about a year ago he dropped out ...
A. 27 July 2014: You cant make a person change, and its not your job to save them. You definitely made the right decision. Stand by it.... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'll be intruding on private family grief!
Q. My girlfriend granddad is dying in hospital. She wants me to take time off work to be with her and her family in the hospital. I'm happy to do so and so are work but i'm not sure if should just leave it as it's a family thing. Her cousin's b...
A. 27 July 2014: Your girlfriend asked you to be there. So what are you going on about, not wanting to intrude? You have been requested. So go. Stop making excuses not to go. She asked for you, she wants and needs you there. Its part of the boyfriend duties to be ... (read in full...)
I have to tell him I am moving, but I'm worried he might see it as a big complication!
Q. I apologise in advance for the long post. I've been dating this guy for about a month now, and things seem to be working out fine. We haven't yet defined what the relationship is, and I'm afraid of asking, because I don't want to seem desperat...
A. 27 July 2014: You are overthinking this. My guess is, he wont care. But even if he does, so what? You have to go, and thats the final line. So just inform him, just call him. I dont think it is such a big deal.... (read in full...)
Do I ask him out or not?
Q. ive met a guy I really like through an online dating site , weve been on a few dates and get on really well hes texted me loads to say he really likes me but then he had some bad health news he wont tell me what so fair enough ,he knows it wont ...
A. 25 July 2014: Why ask him to be official? He already said he doesnt want a relationship, at least not with you. Sounds like hes online to get his ego stroked, and possibly get something else stroked too, without commitment. ... (read in full...)
Why have I never felt this way about any other guy? He makes me tingle.
Q. My boyfriend is the one and only person that I have ever been with that literally makes me go crazy horny when I think of him. I'm thirty years old! I never felt this physical attraction with anyone else.. Sorry for TMI but my clitoris literall...
A. 24 July 2014: Body chemistry. That's what it is. Some people you just have it with, others not. However, sadly, the bodies having a great match doesn't always mean there's a great match of the minds.
I had such chemistry with my ex, it was insane. I didn't e... (read in full...)
Does porn preference coincide with sex preference?
Q. My live in girlfriend of four years and I have a great relationship and a healthy sex life. I recently discovered that she is into porn. She forgot to close a tab on the browser and after seeing it I checked the history. She views a lot of intense, ...
A. 24 July 2014: Sheeez, just ask her! What happened to the communication in your relationship, if you cant even ask her what she likes and thinks she might be hiding her real desires.... For heavens sake, talk to the only person who can answer you: her.... (read in full...)
What do I do ? Go back to a safe comfortable marriage with a kind man and be unhappy? Or try again with a new man?
Q. I have been married for twenty years and although I love my husband there has never been the chemistry that I had before him in another relationships. Even at the beginning with my husband it wasn't there , yet I had been in previous relation...
A. 24 July 2014: Follow your dream. Go for passion. You only live once. You know what life in the marriage is like, but you dont know where this passion may take you. Dont live life with regrets. Dont settle for less. Always follow your dream, so that even if you ... (read in full...)
She recently broke up with her Bf, so is it too early to as her out?
Q. Hi, bit of a lengthy question here. About 2 years ago at college I ended up getting paired with this girl for a school project and ended up liking her, but at the time, she had a boyfriend so obviously I couldn't do anything about my feelings for ...
A. 23 July 2014: There is no such thing as "the friend zone"!!! You need to hurry up and make your intentions clear before she starts going out with soneone else! Do not wait with letting her know you like her, although tell her you can wait a bit with dating if ... (read in full...)
How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never had a girlfriend, never been on a date before, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due ...
A. 22 July 2014: There's no such thing as "too late" for anything in life. You might not be a prefect fit for every woman you meet, but it'd be the same even if you had tons of relationship experience. ... (read in full...)
Should I hope for the best? Or allow my insecurity about my breasts be enough to put me off being intimate with a partner?
Q. I recently got into a long distance relationship with an exceptionally charming man. We have made plans to meet in future but I am afraid of getting intimate for one reason: my breasts. I know it sounds silly, but I am very self conscious about ...
A. 22 July 2014: Men love breasts. Theres not much else to say. Ive never in ny life heard of a man complaining. Once you take your bra off they're lost. Boooobs. Not much else to say, really. You have absolutely no reason to worry.... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
