| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 15 May 2015: Who says you need to get married?? I so do not follow your logic, it makes no sense. How to avoid marriage; dont propose and dont say yes if proposed to. Easy. ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 14 May 2015: Yeah, you keep wondering...... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 10 May 2015: Youre not behind anyone, that is just something you tell yourself. Everyone else your age are just as far in life as you are. Different experiences does not mean anyone is further ahead or behind. Allow yourself to live some. You only have one life. ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 9 May 2015: That is a strange logic. In order to not feel pain of having "missed out", you will not allow yourself to experience anything at all. How does that do you any good? Then you can be 40 and a virgin and look back wondering why you, at 26, were denying ... (read in full...)
Should we have a discussion about being exclusive?
Q. I met a guy 5 months ago and we got on very well and kept seeing each other. In the early days we went on dates regularly and things were going well for us. We are going away on holiday together in a few weeks and I have no reason to think that we ...
A. 4 January 2015: It is great to have a relationship with no arguments or fighting, but only if that's because you both agree on things and have the same sort of personality. If the reason for not fighting is because one or both of you are conflict shy.. well then it ... (read in full...)
Lesbian cousins on a blood vow... halp!
Q. So im a lesbian and i happen to be in love with my lesbian cousin. Our relationship is going fine, and neither of our parents are homophobic, but we're wondering how they will react to incest. where i live incest has certain rules: sisters or direct ...
A. 4 January 2015: You don't have each others blood flowing in your veins.. Relax. That's not how your body works.
Need help breaking it to your parents that you are a couple? There's no easy way to do this, you just got to tell them. Blurt it out, that's often ea... (read in full...)
Would you be with someone who wouldn't have sex unless you used a condom?
Q. Hi everyone. A question for both, men and women: how would you feel if someone you want to be intimate with won't do so unless you use a condom? Boyfriend or girlfriend relationship type. Also, if you get asked to be tested for STDS, do you do it? ...
A. 3 January 2015: Oh, no it is a whole other topic if you want to use condoms because you expect him/her to be a cheater. That is a constant accusation, and if your trust level is so low, then you honestly should not be in a relationship. Once the tests are done and ... (read in full...)
Would you be with someone who wouldn't have sex unless you used a condom?
Q. Hi everyone. A question for both, men and women: how would you feel if someone you want to be intimate with won't do so unless you use a condom? Boyfriend or girlfriend relationship type. Also, if you get asked to be tested for STDS, do you do it? ...
A. 2 January 2015: Its in MY best interest to have myself tested. I don't need to be asked to look after myself, I do it on my own because I want to be healthy and I have respect for my sexual partners. Yes, I get tested after each relationship and before any new ... (read in full...)
I made out with someone else on a break with my fiancé
Q. Hi. Please, for the love of god, don't judge what I'm about to say. I'm already beating myself up over this. I just need advice on how to handle the situation and possibly get rid of these damn dreams. I just really want a fresh start with my brain ...
A. 2 January 2015: Do you think you should marry your fiancé?
Just because you got engaged, doesn't mean you should marry him. You are so worried, and miserable, and you keep bringing up kissing another guy for some reason or other. Not that life is a cake walk, or... (read in full...)
I'm in a new relationship but noticed topless photos of another girl on his laptop
Q. I'm in a new relationship with a guy I met online. He moved from Paris to Canada about 2 weeks before we met (we met online). Anyways, it's been going great, he's respectful, caring, romantic. But the other day, we were together and he was playing ...
A. 2 January 2015: Why did he lie? Well, come on, you're not dumb. He lied because he know he was doing something bad... When people are caught red handed, they have a tendency to want to lie and get away with it, rather than be truthful and facing the consequences. ... (read in full...)
I think this is catfish behaviour!
Q. So currently I am in a LDR with a girl whom I share feelings for. We have been talking to each other for well over what's going to be months already. Throughout this relationship I have always been willing to send pictures and to want to skype an...
A. 1 January 2015: She is probably not a she. Real people who ate sincere do not have a problem showing a pic of themselves. Shes a fake.... (read in full...)
Should I give up on Prince Charming? Says he won't marry me unless I agree to become a swinger with him
Q. I am a very attractive, tall, successful, and fun-loving 25-year-old young woman. I am deeply and truly in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our sex is amazing, and the adventures we have together are truly unreal. ...
A. 31 December 2014: You need to give up on this man. He is, in fact, not your prince charming or mr. perfect. If he was perfect for you, then he'd want the same things you do: commitment, monogamy, exclusivity. You want to marry one man because you want to be with only ... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 28 December 2014: I don't think it's a black and white issue. I wouldn't date a man who lives at home, in general, because it can mean he's not mature or can take care of himself. But every situation is different. My first boyfriend lived with his mother in order to ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 28 December 2014: Ah, your latest update makes me think you started your post on the wrong foot. This doesn't really sound like it's about being a "late bloomer" at all. Sounds to me like you're generally frustrated about where your life is heading, or more than you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says my the relationship between me and my son is unhealthy!
Q. My son 21 and we have a great mother and son relation but my girlfriend always finding fault in our relationship. Because my son tells me I'm his number one woman in his life and he's the only child i have and we can talk about everything, my ...
A. 27 December 2014: You say you can talk to him about everything. That to me sounds like a friendly relationship between adults, and not the relationship of a mother and son. Telling your child everything and treating then as if they are adults is harmful to children, ... (read in full...)
I need some reassurance before I make a doctor's appointment
Q. Hi. I am a 24 year old female and I'm currently in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We started going out in March this year and everything was perfect( I thought). And we broke up 4 months later cause he didn't trust me. We got together in mid- ...
A. 26 December 2014: You most probably have a urinary tract infection because it's very common to get when you have unprotected sex with a new partner. Even if you have had sex with him before, it's been such a long time. The bacterial culture is different from person ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to wait until I'm ready for marriage and children?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I'm looking for some impartial advice and my girlfriend uses this site a lot so thought I'd give it a try. We have been together for 5 years, I am 27 and she is 29, and recently she has been putting a lot of pressure on me t...
A. 24 December 2014: You dont have to convince anyone you are not ready, it is evident. But you got to realize that your and her timephrame is different. Shes got one. You dont. This means you are incompatible. If it was a matter of you and her having different ... (read in full...)
Should I just cut my losses if he's not serious about us having a future?
Q. My boyfriend of over 5 years told me last night that he loves me and thinks we'll probably end up married one day but he can't say for sure as he 'doesn't have a crystal ball.' I'm quite gutted and think that if he doesn't know by now he'll never ...
A. 24 December 2014: He knows by now, you are not the one for him. If you proposed, he would say no. Children with you are not important to him. He knows you can not wait until you are 35 if you want kids. When you find the right nan, at your age, you cant afford to ... (read in full...)
How do I get over being wrongly accused of cheating?
Q. Greetings fellow souls, Recently, I was broken up with by my boyfriend of around 9 months because he thought I cheated on him. The only problem is that I didn't, nothing. No flirting with intention, kissing, touching, etc. nothing. Just so...
A. 23 December 2014: You can't stop people from going around telling lies about you, if that's what they want. And you can't spend all your time and energy on trying to prevent people from saying negative things about you either. You know the truth. That's enough. If he ... (read in full...)
I am beginning to hate my best friend
Q. i am beginning to hate my best friend and i don't know what to do so basically... we have been friends for the past 3 years, since the start of high school and now i'm beginning to find her more and more annoying she is REALLY moody, and it's ...
A. 23 December 2014: Stay friendly, but draw the line. Don't do things for her that you know she wouldn't do back. And don't be extra nice to her. Just be friendly and polite, but nothing more.
Although, people do outgrow one another and not all friendships are mean... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel hurt that she let her exes give her oral sex but not me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together getting on for five months now and at some point we have had a chat about the sexual experiences we've both had in our pasts. My girlfriend has openly talked about how she enjoyed oral sex when her ex's have ...
A. 23 December 2014: "all she's ever done is gone on about how great it's made her feel in the past"
But she's not done this, you told us yourself how she also said she had to be restrained, and how she was bitten. That to me sounds like a very bad experience that was... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 23 December 2014: It annoys me a lot when men like you make stupid assumptions about how women have loads of options while they, as male, as to be pitied because they don't have options to get laid.
It's all crap and a self fulfilling hypothesis of yours that ena... (read in full...)
How to COMMUNICATE I don't like what he called me?
Q. Chatting with a great guy via text and we've yet to meet. Our meeting being next month. Last night he had to go to sleep quite early and while saying good night, referred to me as 'babe'. "Night night babe sleep well." I feel the babe thing is wa...
A. 23 December 2014: Hi, please dont call me babe, I dont know you well enough yet for such nick names.
Ps. Yes, this is something he calls every woman, and not just you. To him it doesnt mean anyhing, so maybe its a sign hes not the right guy for you. ... (read in full...)
EVERYTHING IS GREAT!! ................ except for our sex life.
Q. Let me just start by saying I LOVE my partner very very much. All I want is to make him happy and NEVER hurt him. He is 21, I am almost 23. We have been together for 3 years and have lived together for 2. He is my best friend in the whole world ...
A. 23 December 2014: Why... Thats the thing you havent told us. Why have you lost attraction? Has his appearance changed? Has something else about him changed?
Sounds like your body is trying to tell you loud and clear not to have babies with this man. Id listen t... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel hurt that she let her exes give her oral sex but not me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together getting on for five months now and at some point we have had a chat about the sexual experiences we've both had in our pasts. My girlfriend has openly talked about how she enjoyed oral sex when her ex's have ...
A. 22 December 2014: You're in the wrong. Don't be so self entitled. It'd her body, just because someone else was allowed to try it before doesn't give you any rights to do the same. She doesn't like it, and what do you know about how frequently she allowed it with ... (read in full...)
How can I get a new razor without having to ask my parents?
Q. Hey, this is a bit awkward! I'm in desperate need of some help. I'm a 15 year old guy, and I keep myself clean, grooming, etc. So, I shave. All places, and "down there" (if you catch my drift) is the problem. Well, not the shaving part, but the ra...
A. 22 December 2014: If you just think it becomes too much, may I suggest you trim it with a pair of scissors instead? Shaving your public hair does not make you cleaner, and in fact shaving puts you at risk for getting cuts and an infection, especially seeing as you ... (read in full...)
My family seems disinterested in my upcoming wedding
Q. I'm with my finacee 2 years and we are getting married in 2016. I'm 20 and my sisters are 32 and 40. My fiancee is 30 and i love him so much and we get on incredibly. Since I got engaged both of them have changed it is like they don't want to ...
A. 22 December 2014: Like someone else said.. Up-coming brides can be a tad bit too self centered for most people. I remember when my cousin and a friend of mine both got married the same summer. I had to block them on facebook because I was so extremely done with and ... (read in full...)
My little sister is dating a much older man and lying about it, and I'm worried he's taking advantage of her! Do I tell our parents?
Q. Hi. My sister is 21 and yesterday told me she is in a relationship with a 40 year old man. This is her first ever relationship and they have been together 6 months. She says they are getting 'serious' however she has not and is not planning to tell ...
A. 22 December 2014: Tell your parents? She's not a 12 year old who got caught shop lifting. She's an adult. She has the right to make her own mistakes in life, and your parents.. pardon me, but they have no business with this, and neither do you.
Tell her parents.... (read in full...)
After two years I want to tell him I love him, but what if he brushes it off?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. He's wonderful in every way. I want to tell him I love him but what if he brushes it off like it doesn't mean anything? We've talked about our other relationships and before with another ...
A. 22 December 2014: So he's a guy who doesn't like to express his feelings through words. Are you a person who feels love through words? Search the "five love languages". The use of words is only one way to express love. Just because he doesn't like to say it, doesn't ... (read in full...)
How can I get a new razor without having to ask my parents?
Q. Hey, this is a bit awkward! I'm in desperate need of some help. I'm a 15 year old guy, and I keep myself clean, grooming, etc. So, I shave. All places, and "down there" (if you catch my drift) is the problem. Well, not the shaving part, but the ra...
A. 22 December 2014: Before I tell you how to go about this, you will have to exolain to me why removing your pubic hair is of such importance. Who is it that likes to look at you down there, and who prefers that you look like a child? If there is an adult around who ... (read in full...)
I'm a man who is being emotionally abused by his female partner. What should I do?
Q. I have reason to believe I am a male in an abusive relationship. I have been with my Fiance for 7 years, we have 2 kids, and she makes me feel completely worthless on a daily basis. In the start she used to make me feel limitless, a companion i ...
A. 22 December 2014: You need to ge custody of the children and a restraining order. She is abusive, and will/already is abusing your children too. For THEIR sake, if not for your own: get sole custody of them. Talk to a lawyer about the situation, and about what sort ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother won't let go
Q. Sorry that this is pretty long! Hope this doesn’t sound selfish, but she’s driving me crazy! I kind of feel like this may be too soon to address this issue in the relationship, since we have only been dating for a short while (9 more days until ...
A. 20 December 2014: Pardon me, but how old is your boyfriend? You're 26-29, so I guess he's the same age.
WHAT IS HE STILL DOING LIVING AT HOME?!?!
You walked into this voluntarily. He's a mommy's boy, and HE is the one who keeps her close, holds on to mommy's sk... (read in full...)
Why is my best friend directing her anger towards me? The event planned was a group thing.
Q. To keep it short, our group of friends had a secret santa event planned to get together for Christmas. Basically, she rarely hangs out with us when we ask. But she VOLUNTEERED to host the group event and have her brother do the drawings for who...
A. 20 December 2014: This girl sounds like the only sane out out of a bunch of drama queens, and the main reason YOU pestered for her to redo this secret santa thing was because "everyone else wanted it".
My advice is: start thinking for yourself and stop being a ... (read in full...)
My first real relationship and I'm feeling smothered
Q. I am currently seeing a guy that I have been friends with for just over a year. We met each other through work and still work together now. We started talking more regularly a couple of months ago after he went through a break up, and soon after he ...
A. 20 December 2014: You need to put your foot down. Things will be awkward either way. Which is why people always say not to shit where you eat: dont date anyone you work with! You ferl suffocated and pressured, he is moving waaay too fast, and you are not sure you ... (read in full...)
We've not dated or had sex but he said he would leave his wife for me!
Q. Hi guys, I'm in such a pickle and I wish I didn't have this to worry over right before Christmas. Me and my partner have been together for six years, happy years and I love him dearly. My partners boss is 14 years older than myself and ...
A. 19 December 2014: Whatever you do, DO NOT DELETE THE E-MAIL!!!! Print it out first and keep it in your diary or somewhere secret, it'll make for a great story later on in life. Or black-mail, if you should ever need it. I got an e-mail of similar nature once, oozing ... (read in full...)
Don't want to have sex with my b/f because I hate my body.
Q. I'm 22 and a virgin. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year. My boyfriend and I are at the point where we want to start having sex and my problem is of how ugly my body is and how insecure I am with it. It really bums me out ...
A. 19 December 2014: Im gonna stop you right at this: "can't make him happy".
Woman, come on. It's your body, and it's meant for YOU, not for HIM. It's not about making HIM HAPPY! You are not an object, so stop treating yourself as one.
You want to have sex? You... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has slept with 15 of his friends- feeling insecure now,
Q. Hi there, Just looking for a bit of relationship advise Been with my boyfriend for a year now. I'm 21, he's the first guy I've slept with as I wanted to wait until I was comfortable enough with a guy. He however, has slept with 15 girls,...
A. 19 December 2014: "but I personally don't agree that you can be friends with someone, have sex with them, maybe date them for a while, and then be friends again.-please correct me if im wrong"
It's not about old or new fashion! This is a personal preferen... (read in full...)
Living with his lazy dirty family has me at the end of my tether
Q. Hello. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this. His family is starting to become a deal breaker for me. Right now, I live with my boyfriend and his family. We pay rent, we buy our own groceries, and we pay for whatever else we use. We ...
A. 19 December 2014: Move out on your own. Your boyfriend will be devastated to hear you feel this way about his family, and sooner or later you will reveal it to him under this pressure. It will drive a wedge between you. So you can stay, ruin your own day and probably ... (read in full...)
We've not dated or had sex but he said he would leave his wife for me!
Q. Hi guys, I'm in such a pickle and I wish I didn't have this to worry over right before Christmas. Me and my partner have been together for six years, happy years and I love him dearly. My partners boss is 14 years older than myself and ...
A. 19 December 2014: If he leaves his wife, then HE is the one who broke the marriage. Not you. So while this isnt a politically correct answer... I say go for it. You only live once. But first think hard about whether you want him or not, think about the opportunity ... (read in full...)
I like her except for the lack of punctuality
Q. I've been dating a girl for about 2 weeks now. It's going great but very early days. The one problem I have is she's always late! I know to most people this won't be an issue but it really annoys me. Turning up an hour late and then with no apology. ...
A. 17 December 2014: Eh, I honestly dont see why you should bother being polite and try not to ruin things, when she obviously doesnt care. If she had rhe sane unterest in you, as you have in her, and the sane amount of respect, then shed not be doing this. Its really ... (read in full...)
Annoyed with his manipulative ex
Q. Let me start this by saying that my new boyfriend is wonderful. I'm 34 years old and have never met anyone so perfect for me in all of my life. He goes out of his way to do things for me. This weekend I had to be away for a business trip and he ...
A. 17 December 2014: The fault lies with your boyfriend on this one. Any girl can try and get with her ex, but a proper guy will end the conract and only have appropriate communication. Your bf seems to act like he is still in a relationship with his ex, taking all her ... (read in full...)
Will anyone who follows her first love be second best?
Q. A girl I know told me that the love of her life ,her first BF(broke up years ago after a few years of relationship), will always be the one she carers about. I have a question: is this fair to the guy she marries? I mean her future husband (she ...
A. 16 December 2014: Its not how women work in general, not any more than how men work. Please, do yourself and everyone a favor and STOP generalizing. Any man who marries THIS PARTICULAR GIRL will be her second best, according to her. Yes. But it's not like any guy ... (read in full...)
Should a girl like me just learn to be happy with what she has? Are my expectations too high?
Q. I started dating my current boyfriend about 7 months ago. I didn't know him well, but had gone through a really devastating year trying to adjust to a very competitive program at school, dealing with depression, family trouble and being abused by ...
A. 16 December 2014: "I'm still just an average looking white trash girl with mental problems and a troublesome, drug addicted family."
This is what you were born with. You can't change this.
This is what you can accomplish, and do, because of willpower, perso... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he thinks it's disrespectful to finger a girl. How can I encourage him to consider it as part of lovemaking?
Q. My boyfriend says he thinks it's disrespectful to finger a girl and that he's never done it. I think the disrespect thing is a cop out. I don't get it. He says he never has and never will. It's a big deal for me because it's a way to be intimate...
A. 15 December 2014: How long have you been together/had a sexual relationship?
He sounds hung up on something. My guess is he's had a friend or former classmate comment something nasty about girls that involved fingering them, and as a result he believes this is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 15 December 2014: If talking to him hasn't worked, do as BimBim suggests. Don't go until an hour or so AFTER you have told him you'd be there. Or call in advance and tell him he should start getting ready. Or take it to the next level, if that doesn't work either: if ... (read in full...)
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