A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm unsure about whether or not to have a threesome (ffm) with my boyfriend. We have a solid relationship. Used to have some issues but we've worked through them. I know he would love to have one and I'm not closed off to the idea at all, I think it would be a good thing in some ways. I am , however, the jealous emotional type. That's my fear. Rationally, I know he would consider it nothing more than a physical act that would possibly bring us closer. But I'm worried that how I may or may not feel after will ruin everything! I literally just don't know how I feel about it. Plus I thrive on info so may be going and meeting swingers will help Me understand. What do I do to make myself know whether it will be good or whether we'd be just another failed relationship post threesome statistic!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JakeIvy  +, writes (23 November 2014):
Let me tell you from experience...it will END YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Once you say to your mate that they can have sex with another woman, they will want to all the time, even if you are not around. A relationship means that certain things you only share with your partner...sex is probably the most important one.
Yes, there are those one in a thousand marriages where it doesn't hurt...but they are so rare. I am in one of those marriages...but I could tell you story after story of people who were in GREAT marriages that sleeping with others ended...and ended within five years.
Really...don't do it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): For me it's no different then swinging. And I personally would never do that.
I am not judging but I know it's not for me.
Many people especially men look at sex as just physical act. No emotions involved. If you are talking about jealousy then it's definitely not for you. If you can't look at it as just an entertainment then don't do it.
I don't understand though how is it ,according to your boyfriend, will bring you closer?? If anything it will bring you appart.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 November 2014):
 Having a FFM threesome with your B/F and another girl has an 88.4 percent chance of scuttling your relationship with your B/F.....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): "I am , however, the jealous emotional type"
Don't do it based on this alone! If you want to keep your bf and your sanity that is.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 November 2014):
 Your instincts are yelling at you, that's why you even ask the question. Follow your instincts. they are telling you "Nothing good will come of this other than a few moments of excitement..Big Deal! Don't do it. You will live a lifetime of regrets over a few moments of whew!
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A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (22 November 2014):
Just think about the type of things that could happen if you do this. He could be giving her more attention because she's new and exciting, and you're left feeling like an extra. She could have some amazing tricks that drive him wild and you'd have to WATCH how much pleasure he gets from that. Afterwards, he could want to do it again, or even join a swingers club, so that you start feeling like you're not enough on your own.
These are only a couple of the many things that could drive a wedge between you and ruin that deep bond you have built up. Just because he would like to do it, doesn't mean you should or it would be good for the relationship, so please think carefully. Why don't you purchase a fleshlight so you can have a pretend threesome without the risks?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2014):
 Listen carefully now. When you have doubts like you do, and your doubts are well founded, then you should absolutely not have a threesome. Threesomes are not you every day sexual activity. Threesomes are in the category of heavy bondage, extreme fetishes and the likes. It simply is not something all people should/want to try. If you are BOTH free spirited, liberal sexually, dedicated to one another etc, then a threesome might be awesome because its a form of sexual play that matches your personalities. Same as if you are into getting dominated, being locked in a cage and walking on all four might be amazing. But if you are not into it, you just arent. If the idea of a threesome turn you both on, and you dont see any problems with it, THEN you might have one. But only then.
You are not the type of person who should have a threesome. It might not ruin the relationship, but most likely you will not enjoy it at all, and you will probably develop issues about it later. Such as regret, or wondering if it was the right thing, get jealous etc. It will be damaging for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): I have no experience in this area. But I know there is a pretty consistent comment from swinger crowd that if you have any jealousy then it's bad news.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): No one can know for certain how it will work out.
The big question is are you prepared to risk a good thing for a couple of hours of fun?
Is touching another woman for a half a day worth potentially destroying your relationship?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): I can tell you in advance it will mess things up. If you value your relationship don't do this, there will be regrets and often the end of the relationship. The fantasy of this is very different than the reality of the feelings and reactions that will ensue after the fact. For some this may not occur, but for most it will.
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