| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Hurt by his ex, all he's ready for is a friendship
Q. About a month ago, I met an amazing guy. We hit it off right away and we started to spend every single day together, as well as I stayed over every night. He asked me to come over every day and stay every night. It felt amazing to be wanted. He ...
A. 13 November 2014: Stay away from him. He doesn't know what he wants, and trust me... You can not make up his mind for him, no matter how perfect a girlfriend you would be. If he wanted you, he'd be chasing you, plain and simple.
I think he's actually rude, to... (read in full...)
Is it possible to go back to getting to know someone slowly after being intimate?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 3-4 weeks, and we've had 6 or 7 dates. I met him online, things went a bit wrong before we even met because of big differences in life style that I pointed out. For example he is very well off and I earn a moderate ...
A. 13 November 2014: "So I suppose the question is, how do I rewind and take things slowly again with him, or is it impossible?"
Yeah, it is possible. Just tell him no when he asks to sleep over or go back to your place or vice versa. If he asks why then say you are ... (read in full...)
Is educating myself worth it?
Q. I recently turned 30 and had that whole life in order and retirement plan cross my mind and I decided to go back to school and get a bachelors degree. I grew up learning that knowledge is everything, And a degree can help but wasn't needed. As you ...
A. 13 November 2014: You need to be factual and realistic here. Dreams are great, ambition is great, but financial ruin is NEVER worth risking. What will you live off when you go back to school?
Im in a very similar situation myself. I already went to school though, ... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same since he admitted to a threesome
Q. What would you do/feel if you had a friend for whom you had feelings. You had started to get close physically and emotionally. Plans were made to meet up (we're living far apart now). But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and ...
A. 13 November 2014: Yeah, these things happen, it's how we learn, haha! Not one of us haven't been there and done that, I am sure...!... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same since he admitted to a threesome
Q. What would you do/feel if you had a friend for whom you had feelings. You had started to get close physically and emotionally. Plans were made to meet up (we're living far apart now). But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and ...
A. 13 November 2014: No sharing beds, unless you want to be another one of his "embarrassments"... For real. Do not share a bed with him, he WILL make a move on you and you WONT have the heart to say no. He clearly does not want a relationship, or else he would have ... (read in full...)
What can I say or do in order to keep her?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 11 months now. I am 18 and she is 17. I am currently a freshman in college and she is a senior in high school. Throughout these initial few months in college, things have gone pretty well. I only ...
A. 13 November 2014: You wont know what to do if it ends, but trust me.. you will not die. You will keep breathing, and you will go on with your life, and you will meet someone else, believe it or not. The first time you get your heart broken hurts like nothing else, I ... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same since he admitted to a threesome
Q. What would you do/feel if you had a friend for whom you had feelings. You had started to get close physically and emotionally. Plans were made to meet up (we're living far apart now). But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and ...
A. 13 November 2014: I think he doesnt know how you feel about him, and thinks you are just being friends, hence the "bragging" about a threesome. And what the OP means, I believe, is that her crush is single, but he has a friend with a gf, and they had a threesome. So ... (read in full...)
Little contact for 2 days... are men really like this?
Q. Is it normal for a man to go like 2 days without any real contact with his girlfriend? We've been together for over 4 years, not currently living together, but doing so after the new year. We had an amazing weekend and I know, in person, that he ...
A. 13 November 2014: This is who he is, but more importantly... Your need for attention is who you are.. Its not a woman-thing to want so much attention. Its something you want. He tries to give it to you, and if real contact was really so important to you, then you ... (read in full...)
I found incriminating evidence against boyfriend about cheating but he denies it all. What should I do?
Q. I've been in a two and a half year relationship which began when we were 15/16. We have a wonderful relationship and he treats me incredibly well, we are both respectful and incredibly loving. Faithful and genuine. In the early stages of our rela...
A. 11 November 2014: He created that profile to cyber with girls.. or just talk to them. But then he created a fake profile with your name AND picture (may I add that this is illegal at least in Norway), in order to cyber sex with lesbians.
Really. That's the simp... (read in full...)
Lost his boner when I got on top... reasonable excuse?
Q. My bf and I have been together for 4 years, yesterday was our anniversary, actually. Anyway, our sex life has been generally pretty good except for me riding him. I've NEVER had problems with it in past relationships but for some reason our bodie...
A. 11 November 2014: Do not take it so personally! Guys are not machines, some times they can lose their erection for absolutely no particular reason. I would take his word for it, he knows his body after all. But why does he have to prove to you he is attracted to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said that I don't physically turn her on.
Q. To give context I am 23, and my third year anniversary with my girlfriend is next weekend. Last week we were chatting in bed and she casually said that I physically do not turn her on. I didn't really respond as I wasn't sure what to say at the ti...
A. 10 November 2014: Ouch. That stings. I agree with your concerns and I think you're on to the right ideas. If she's not physically attracted to you, then you and her should not be together. It appears to not be an issue for her, since she can talk about it so easily ... (read in full...)
How can I let a friend down without hurting his feelings?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have question well I dated this guy for awhile but our relationship never went no where the sex was a no go I mean as person he was awesome but his manhood was smaller than his eyes could see.Just last week I spoke to him over the ...
A. 10 November 2014: No, you said you weren't interested and that's all he needs to know. He knows his penis is small, he probably gets it. Guys are quite sensitive about their penis, so even if it wasn't because his penis, I am sure he'd still guess it was his penis... ... (read in full...)
How does one go about securing a friend with benefits?
Q. I am recently divorced. I'm not ready to get into a relationship, I still have anger over my wife's decision to divorce me. So I've been looking for something that seems somewhat popular these days, a friend with benefits. I've been looking ...
A. 10 November 2014: The problem you have is that you're not seductive. You can not set up a friend with benefits like it's a business deal. You need to seduce and intrigue and be charming, just like when you want a relationship with a woman. Except you will be up front ... (read in full...)
How far should dating go at 14?
Q. Basically im a 14 year old male ive been with my girlfriend for 9-10 months and me and her are really close we've not had sex or anything that serious , I just don't know how far I should go at this age I would never force my girlfriend into ...
A. 10 November 2014: I think kissing and holding hands is pretty much it. But being curious is normal, so I would say talking about things is also okay, as long as she's also curious and wants to talk about it.
Most girls at 14 do not want sex. They just want rom... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend isn't a good influence for him and it concerns me
Q. One of my boyfriend's best friends is really annoying and rubs me the wrong way. In my opinion, he is very rude, manipulative, and doesn't have my boyfriend's best interest in mind and I get really uncomfortable and even nauseous when my boyfrien...
A. 10 November 2014: This is a tough situation, and I know how bad these situations can get. I had a boyfriend once who had this problem with his best friend too, only it was so much worse than in your boyfriends case. His best friend was always talking him down, ... (read in full...)
I have no experience and don't know how to ride a guy
Q. hi, i'm almost 22 years old and i've small boobs. my waist size is 37", butt 48" but my boobs are too small and plus I've no sex experience so don't know how to ride my man. am so nervous about my breast size and how to ride :{...
A. 10 November 2014: Do not worry. Men like all breasts, big and small. And you will learn how to do the rest, for some it even comes naturally. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is irresposible with finances!
Q. My gf has serious personal finance problems. Even though she makes more than enough to pay her expenses and save, she consistently spends her entire paycheck and sometimes overspends it. She's open to discussion and is often willing to cutback ...
A. 10 November 2014: Just stop babying her. These are lessons she needs to learn on her own. If she loses her job, or doesnt have enough money, do not help her out. You are only enabling her to continue being irresponsible. Stop babying her, stop "helping" her. ... (read in full...)
Why did he rent a room instead of taking me to his place?
Q. turkish men i was in turkey in july this year and met a really nice gye who told me i was beutiful and asked me what i was doing tommorw the next day after he met me in his shop i said nothing so he asked could i come meet him for lunch i sai...
A. 9 November 2014: I also think he lives with his parents, and that's why he can't or won't take you home. One thing is there would be no privacy, the other is his parents will most likely not approve of a foreign girl like you, and most absolutely would not approve ... (read in full...)
Did I over react? What should I have done?
Q. So i've been dating this girl for about 8 months, in a relationship for the last 4 mo. A few days ago we were hanging out at her place. She was on her laptop and checked her facebook and saw that her "friend" who was the singer in a band that she ...
A. 9 November 2014: Look, this is a nest of worms. Whatever you might think or say will cause an argument, because even if you are right (no, good guys don't cheat and lie), then the number one rule you have broken is this one: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND RESPECT ... (read in full...)
My butt is not big enough for my boyfriend.
Q. The thing is, I have some insecurities about the size of my butt. I've been together with my bf for around 3 years and from the beginning he has wished my bottom was bigger. I have gained some weight (around 9 kg)and done exercise and as a result my ...
A. 9 November 2014: He's being dumb to say these things to you. Just tell him flat out that if he's not happy with your butt, then it's time he gets out of the relationship and starts to date the butt of his dreams. Or, he needs to shut up about it and love you the way ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a guy who lasts too long?
Q. Everyone hates that guy that only lasts about 5 minutes in bed, well I seem to have found the complete opposite! The guy I recently started seeing is absolutely perfect, and when we slept together it went on quite a while which I really enjoyed at ...
A. 9 November 2014: Theres lots of guys like him out there. When you get to your point of being done, he will need to finish himself off, or you can use your hands/give oral. A way to make these men come fast during intercourse, is to provide plenty of foreplay first. ... (read in full...)
His love for me is like a knife with a sharpened one side and double side like a sword--what does that mean?
Q. I'm female and 24years of age and my guy is 29years of age,he is the type that likes saying things indirectly so please readers what does my boyfriend mean when he says "His love for me is like a knife with a sharpened one side and double side like ...
A. 7 November 2014: It doesn't say anything to me at all, other than that he must like fantasy movies. Even if he likes to be indirect though, doesn't mean you shouldn't ask him for a translation. To me, such a phrase would tell me two things:
1. He has no idea how... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? Should I only expect him to share his plans with me after we move in?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5.5 years, and he recently asked me to move in with him. The problem is, often I don't have a clue where he is and I don't know if that will continue if I live with him. For example, I might try to cal...
A. 7 November 2014: Girl, been in your shoes. Made to feel like a posessive and controlling nag just for asking to get a heads up about plans! And now Im talking plans like leaving the city... Or going out on town with buddies and the ex, instead of keeping his plans ... (read in full...)
I gave up my unborn baby for him and he doesn't even appreciate it.
Q. Currently I've felt out of place ..before I ask I must explain my situation. I've been with my boyfriend for awhile now and we are oddly very happy.I do my best to be the best girlfriend and he makes small gesture that make me happy. We've talked ...
A. 7 November 2014: You are not crazy at all. You went through something very traumatic, and you really do need to talk to someone about this. Sorry I dont have time to write more, but I advise you to talk to your doctor about this, soon. Adk for a reference to a ... (read in full...)
How can I show my partner he is the most special person I have ever been intimate with?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend and I am in love with him, I love the connection we share and the silly times we have. I have never felt the way I do about him about anyone else. The issue: in my past I have had intimate times with others. He ha...
A. 7 November 2014: Dont. If he is insecure (sounds like it) then notjing you do will wver be enough. He needs to sort this out himself. Ive been with insecure men before. If they are hung up on being inferior in some area or other (not always the sexual area) then no ... (read in full...)
Sexless, affectionless, respectless marriage.
Q. I never thought I would be on one of these sites asking people's opinions on personal matters.. but here it comes guys. I have been married for 7 years now. I am 35 year and he is 47. I was married before, to a complete and utter control freak, v...
A. 6 November 2014: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
You are in an abusive marriage. You need to get out before you will fear for your life. As you noted yourself, your current husband is the same as your previous husband.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a polygraph?!
Q. Okay so I've been seeing this guy for 10 months, before him I went through a really rough yime after I went through a bad break up with my long term bf, where he cheated. After I did not deal with it well I had dated people and had ended sleeping...
A. 6 November 2014: Thats insane. ... (read in full...)
I don't see my boyfriend and I moving in together should I walk away?
Q. I don't think my boyfriend and I will move in together, should I walk away ?. He has bipolar disorder. He recently moved into a new place. He doesn't seem to want to move in with me, and it could be difficult to live with him, as he has so many mood ...
A. 5 November 2014: Why do you dream of living with him wheb he obviously does not want to live with you? You said yourself, there is no future here. His lack of furniture is the least of your problems. His unwillingness to have you there is making it a dead end. As ... (read in full...)
Advice on what a break means.
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years. However, out of the blue, she sent a text message asking for a break. She said she didn't want things to end, just a short break. It was not stemmed from a fight and she made it clear she still ...
A. 5 November 2014: Darling you.. A break is a "nice"/cowardly way to break up with someone, or gives the other person a guilt free chance to screw around with someone else. If you want to know what it means, then you need to talk to her about what you can and can not ... (read in full...)
What does the word 'cute' mean to guys? To me, it means 'ugly but acceptable'!
Q. Dear Auntz Me and my new boyfriend started dating a week ago and he keeps saying that im cute! I have always told myself that i will never date any guy that thinks i am cute, but here i am. I wish he would use the word beautiful instea...
A. 4 November 2014: Cute is cute, it's a positive word, not a negative one. I call my boyfriend cute because he makes cute faces sometimes and does cute things, even thought he's as masculine and big as they come... Cute doesn't mean anything bad at all. I get called ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me details of her bad sexual experience and now I feel angry and jealous. How do I get over this?
Q. I need your realtionship advice about this I feel like I am a bad boyfriend. This might be long sorry for it Recently my girlfriend and I started to try have sex. Ofcourse it is too painful for her so wer are just trying right now. I am not rushing ...
A. 3 November 2014: Aaaah... no one wants to hear the details about the ex and the past sex life, no matter how far they got. It's just not something anyone wants to know. Your girlfriend went too far and told you these things, you should have just stopped her right in ... (read in full...)
How can we take things to the next level? My g/f finds sex to be really painful
Q. My girlfriend and I decided that we should take our relationship to next level. We have been trying to have sex but we failed 3 times now. I love her and I don't want to force her to do something that she doesn't want and she knows that. It is too p...
A. 3 November 2014: She can't even use tampons? Then she's got a more severe case, this is not common. You should talk to her about seeing her doctor/gynecologist and get checked out. She should tell the doctor what her problems are, how tampons hurt her, and how she ... (read in full...)
Telling my lover about an old sexual experience with someone else?
Q. Should I tell my partner my sexual experiences from the past? I know normally it's reallt up to the person to decide to do what they feel is right and comfortable. Normally I'm pretty open about my experiences and wouldn't mind sharing but the ...
A. 3 November 2014: The rule is that you DO NOT TELL unless asked. And if asked, you do not give away details, unless specifically asked. Those are the general rules that all go by. Giving out too much information does far more damage than good. No one wants to hear ... (read in full...)
How can we take things to the next level? My g/f finds sex to be really painful
Q. My girlfriend and I decided that we should take our relationship to next level. We have been trying to have sex but we failed 3 times now. I love her and I don't want to force her to do something that she doesn't want and she knows that. It is too p...
A. 3 November 2014: Technicalities about whether she is a virgin or not doesn't matter. I would say she is. But this is not a debate on that, nor is it truly relevant. The point is: she is inexperienced. It hurts, because she's not used to having something stretch her ... (read in full...)
I want to get married at Disney World but he doesn't
Q. I got engaged a few month ago and need some help. Since I was 10 I said I was going to get married at Disneyworld and I've never changed my mind. My fiance wants a big wedding here. I don't!! All we do I argue over it because I want to go to ...
A. 3 November 2014: I am with SVC here... I wonder if you and him should be getting married at all. Life is about more than a wedding, you need to spend your LIFE with this man! This man who doesn't take anything you say or want into consideration.. And it is just the ... (read in full...)
The relationship is toxic but ending it is complicated
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and the majority of that time has been just dreadful. He started off incredibly sweet and charming, helped me with money when I lost my job and took me places I'd always wanted to go. But slowly he's just ...
A. 3 November 2014: You need to get out NOW. Give him the stuff he demands. Get friends and relatives help you get replacements. You are NOT dependent on this abuset. He is dangerous. Free yourself from him. Take the necessary steps. If he harasses you, call the ... (read in full...)
How much am I entitled to know?
Q. How much asking about a bf's friends is too much? Do you stop asking once he says "I'm going out with a friend/friends? Or is it ok to ask what else they'd be doing? Or ask if who the friends are. Just curious. Many thanks for your replies...
A. 3 November 2014: It depends on why you ask. You are not entitled to anything, as you do not own your partner. So if you ask because you think you have a right to know, then you ask for too much. If you ask because you are curious and wont think anything of it other ... (read in full...)
He's broke. I'd like us to live together. But financially I'd have to carry him. Is living with him going to end in tears?
Q. I'm 35 and my boyfriend 33. We've been together 3 years but don't live together. He lives with his parents. I want us to live together but the problem is that he's broke and just finally got a steady job 3 months ago where he makes 3 times less than...
A. 2 November 2014: At 33 hes old enough to take responsibility for himself. Hes NOT your responsibility. If he can not be an adult then I wonder what makes you think theres a chance of an adult relationship. Instead of moving together, you should move on. Sorry to be ... (read in full...)
My mentally ill sister is preventing me from having a relationship with my parents
Q. Hi everyone, I desperately need some advice, please please help me. My sister is mentally ill. Has been for over a decade. Her mental illness, which my parents have, till this day, chosen not to acknowledge, has destroyed my family. For the p...
A. 1 November 2014: I think someone jumped the gun there and read a lot more into what I was writing than what actually stood there. Being mentally well IS a blessing, it's not something I say to judge. Nor did I say one is not allowed to feel anger or be upset by ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much from him --- drinking and sexual abuse
Q. Sorry this is so long. I hope someone takes the time to read it. I've been recently dealing with some guilt involving my relationship with my fiance. We have an awesome relationship first of all. I know we are meant to be together and we talk abo...
A. 1 November 2014: And pardon the typoes, on my phone and cant seem to hit the right buttons...... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much from him --- drinking and sexual abuse
Q. Sorry this is so long. I hope someone takes the time to read it. I've been recently dealing with some guilt involving my relationship with my fiance. We have an awesome relationship first of all. I know we are meant to be together and we talk abo...
A. 1 November 2014: Dear poster. Your boyfriend is an alcoholic. I am sorry to have to inform you of this sad news. But the sooner you realize this is an adfiction, the sooner you and him can star to make changes for his recovery.
If he chooses booze over you (you... (read in full...)
My mentally ill sister is preventing me from having a relationship with my parents
Q. Hi everyone, I desperately need some advice, please please help me. My sister is mentally ill. Has been for over a decade. Her mental illness, which my parents have, till this day, chosen not to acknowledge, has destroyed my family. For the p...
A. 31 October 2014: Sorry that this will be a short reply, unfortunately I do not have time to write more. But I wanted to say that you sister has not won. You have. You have the chance and opportunity to make something of yourself, connect with another person and ... (read in full...)
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