| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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She's exactly my type and we have had fun talking about stuff and joking around, but I can't help feeling like she's not all that into it. What do I do?
Q. I recently moved to a nee city and a new country. Since I don't know many people here, I decided to give online dating a try. I didn't have a lot of success at first but about 10 days ago I came across the profile of an absolutely gorgeous girl who ...
A. 9 October 2014: Oh, and don't wait until she gets back to ask her out. When I was online dating I was going away for a week. I had met with a guy two times prior to going away. I heard nothing from him at all during the week I was in another city, and then I just ... (read in full...)
She's exactly my type and we have had fun talking about stuff and joking around, but I can't help feeling like she's not all that into it. What do I do?
Q. I recently moved to a nee city and a new country. Since I don't know many people here, I decided to give online dating a try. I didn't have a lot of success at first but about 10 days ago I came across the profile of an absolutely gorgeous girl who ...
A. 9 October 2014: You ask her out! We girls get very quickly booooored by guys online who take forever to ask us out. It's like, what are you waiting for?? She already responded, which she says she rarely does unless she actually thinks there might be something ... (read in full...)
Disappointed that I had a lesser role at wedding of my cousin. Should I tell the bride how disappointed I was?
Q. I can't help but feel a bit hurt over my cousin giving a more important role at her wedding and more thanks/attention in general to her best friend. My cousin made her best friend her maid of honor, and me her matron of honour. I thought it was s...
A. 7 October 2014: Yeah, you are being immature. It was her wedding, not yours, so who are you to dictate who should and shouldn't have what roles?
Just because you didn't get the most super important part in things, according to yourself, doesn't mean you aren't v... (read in full...)
My bridesmaid told me she is a recovering alcoholic! How do I deal with this when I know there will be drinking at the wedding?
Q. I'm getting married next year and I asked one of friends who I have known since college to be a bridesmaid. She had said yes but then proceeded to tell me about being a newly recovering alcoholic. I never knew that she had problems with alcohol or ...
A. 6 October 2014: I think you are over-thinking this. So she doesn't drink. There are going to be other people there who also will not enjoy alcohol. Such as your mother. Or any pregnant participants. Or those who just does not want to get hammered. Or maybe even ... (read in full...)
He's a childhood friend. Yet due to his Gf's request he is now snubbing me. How do I handle this?
Q. I know this might seem trivial, but this has been bugging me. A childhood friend of mine has just randomly started ignoring me. We were such good friends in high school, and although we fancied each other for years nothing actually happened beca...
A. 6 October 2014: My guess is, you dont know the full truth. There is more to this, but you will probably never find out. Let it go. Hes the one who gave you up, and you cant force people to be friends with you when they dont want to talk to you.
Dont even think ab... (read in full...)
How do I stand up to this? she won't ever do anything I want to do, but expects me to follow her plans
Q. Ok, so I really need help with my girlfriend. We're been together a long time, met at uni about 7 years ago. We live together and have recently moved into a new house. I've suddenly had a realisation that she's super selfish... I think... Esse...
A. 6 October 2014: I think you are right in that you are too soft. After 7 years, she knows she will get away with behaving the way she does. You never complained before... But now it is a real problem for you. The sex part, unfortunately, cannot be changed. A low ... (read in full...)
My Husband sent a text to another girl in the middle of the night ...
Q. I have a very simple question. Should I be worried? I got off work today to find a fb message from a girl my husband used to be friends with. It had a picture of a iPhone convo and her message to me read "this is not the first time your husban...
A. 5 October 2014: Oh dear... She said it wasn't the first time, so that implies something. Even if the text itself didn't say much, he did cross the line. Why send a text to a female FORMER friend, in the middle of the night?
You are right to be suspicio... (read in full...)
Was this office hug inappropriate?
Q. I started a job a couple months ago. I work with a group of Christians. My boss is a woman and her boss, the big boss is one of the owners. He and I had a meeting the other day and after the meeting was over he asked me for a hug. I said okay and ...
A. 5 October 2014: Have you hugged anyone else in the office? Are you a hugger? At my old job, also with Christians, we hugged a lot. They were very informal at the office, no dress code, always hugs etc. But if you havent seen anyone else hug at your office, or if ... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he's a gentlemen or if he's just not that into me
Q. I met this guy while he was on holidays with his friends where I live. We spent about a week together and we eventually slept together. I have plans to travel near where he is in three weeks and he suggested I stopped by where he is living so I mad...
A. 5 October 2014: My vote goes for: he is shy, and insecure. What good looking adult doesnt know he is good looking? The insecure one with low self esteem. Having been with several men like this, I would actually tell you to not pursue him. If hes too shy to make a ... (read in full...)
I can't be with both girls! I have a lovely girl here but what about the one who I met in Florida?
Q. Thank you for reading - it's quite funny as I'm normally the one my friends ask for advice, yet here I am asking you all... It's been hard and I haven't been able to sleep much so I really need an outside perspective- thank you. I met a girl about...
A. 2 October 2014: Wait... so you are already in a relationship with the London-girl, or not? You said she wanted you to be her bf and you were HAPPY about that, so I believe that means yes?
You do know that one very common deal breaker for most people in a relati... (read in full...)
For his birthday I'm going to tell him 101 things I love about him
Q. Hihi! My boyfriend's birthday is coming up.... I'm making like a 101 things I love about you in a jar... Do you think it's a good idea??? Do you think he'll like it??? :O I have to give it to him earlier than his real day as we are gonna be on a ...
A. 2 October 2014: Oh, in that case: go for it!... (read in full...)
For his birthday I'm going to tell him 101 things I love about him
Q. Hihi! My boyfriend's birthday is coming up.... I'm making like a 101 things I love about you in a jar... Do you think it's a good idea??? Do you think he'll like it??? :O I have to give it to him earlier than his real day as we are gonna be on a ...
A. 2 October 2014: You know him best! If you think he will like it, and if hes a very romantic guy who loves to talk to you for hours about why he loves you and why you love him... Then he will probably love it. Its cute. Personally though, Id not do it. I find such ... (read in full...)
I spent all my efforts on a girl so I lost most of my friends
Q. So its my senior year of high school and its supposed to be one of the best years of my life. But its not I find myself alone most of the time I only really have one true friend but when hes busy I have no one. Its because my ex I was with her...
A. 2 October 2014: You are suffering from heartache. But do not despair. It passes. Dont get hung up in ideas of how your life is "supposed" to be. Life is life, cant be planned, and has a tendency to just happen the way it happens. The idea that youre "supposed" to ... (read in full...)
Why does he only interrupt me when I'm studying?
Q. I'm married 34 year old woman who recently started school. I am in my second term now and have an established schedule for study, family and spouse time. I love my husband dearly and openly he says he is happy that I am in school and how proud of ...
A. 2 October 2014: Find a room to be alone in, and hang a note on the door saying "Busy. Do not disturb". Or put the note on your back and then use earplugs. Often, people just need a visual reminder. I bet he does ask you things when youre free as well, its just that ... (read in full...)
The girl I met online asked about my sexual past. I answered truthfully and now she's gone quiet!
Q. I met this girl online, really like her n she's 18 n im 23 almost 24. she says she's a virgin although I did not expect that i was really happy. she seemed shy to ask questions so i told her to ask anything on her mind n i won't lie. which i didn't. ...
A. 2 October 2014: You think shes the one? Haha, pardon my laughing, but thats cute. You never met her in real life, shes a perfect stranger. Your imagination is running wild with you here. Stop imagining her to be some dream girl when you have no clue who she is. So ... (read in full...)
Am I kidding myself being with a guy with depression?
Q. I met a guy on the internet. He is sweet, funny and we get on really well. He did tell me he suffered from depression and because I have supported a fair few people with depression I thought I would try. So I spent the night at his. I take life...
A. 1 October 2014: I say.. no. It'll drag you down. He needs to recover or at least be functional before he can enter a relationship, or else all that will happen is he will drag you down with him.
Is he in treatment? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex
Q. My boyfriend and I have been officially BF/GF for 4 months but have been dating for 6 months. He is 28 and I am 23. My boyfriend says he isn't like every other guy. He respects the idea of making love and prefers to have sex spontaneously. H...
A. 1 October 2014: Really, sweetie (if I may say that), the whole "you didn't make me feel good enough" is BULLSHIT. It's his way of not looking like the weak person who didn't want sex. He wasn't good enough, and he's been telling himself this over and over. Sex 4 ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or take another break year?
Q. Hello (I'm 23 he's 24) I met a guy in December last year. We just exchanged contact information and almost a week passed before any of us contacted the other. After about a week of texting, he asked me out. I've dated quite a lot for someone my...
A. 1 October 2014: I also wondered why you are operating with two different set of rules. You wouldn't want him to sacrifice anything for you, yet you're more than happy to throw yourself under the bus for him? Why's that? After all, he has more of a reason to come to ... (read in full...)
Are there major differences to how I touch a guy who is uncut versus cut? have never been with an uncut guy
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy, who I am pretty interested in, and as we've went along, we've started to get a little hotter and heavier with every interaction. Well, I've wanted to maybe progress the makeout sessions to a handjob, but I fo...
A. 30 September 2014: Been with one cut guy. Found hand jobs with him to be difficult. Dont know how you do it, really? Lots of lubricate, or what? With a natural guy you just move the foreskin up and down, and you have way more flexibility and can be spontaneous. More ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex
Q. My boyfriend and I have been officially BF/GF for 4 months but have been dating for 6 months. He is 28 and I am 23. My boyfriend says he isn't like every other guy. He respects the idea of making love and prefers to have sex spontaneously. H...
A. 30 September 2014: Im tired of hearing about how things supposedly die out after a year or so... Sex doesnt die out. Passion doesnt die out. Unless you are with a person who does not like sex! Then, yes, you get less and less. The fact that this was a problem in his ... (read in full...)
Feeling resentment because of sex in otherwise great relationship.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and a half, and since we go to the same university, we spend most of our time together and are very close (she was my best friend before we went out). However, when it comes to sex, I am starti...
A. 29 September 2014: I don't think you're being unreasonable in feeling the way you feel. But at the same time, she's not actually being unreasonable either, in her own way. Sex is not everything in a relationship, but it matters a whole lot. To be sexually compatible ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex
Q. My boyfriend and I have been officially BF/GF for 4 months but have been dating for 6 months. He is 28 and I am 23. My boyfriend says he isn't like every other guy. He respects the idea of making love and prefers to have sex spontaneously. H...
A. 29 September 2014: Good for you for addressing the issue, but an e-mail? Why can't you talk to him in person about something so intimate and important regarding your relationship? Is he that hard to get a hold of, you can't meet, so you need to e-mail him? I find this ... (read in full...)
I've grown attached to his persoality, but his appearance puts me off
Q. Hi there guys :), I was hoping that someone could help me out on here, as I am in abit of a situation Over 14 Months ago, I met this guy. I just got over a nasty breakup , so wasnt looking for any relationship.We were just friends. We clicked...
A. 29 September 2014: I say, see him naked and then decide. If the only problem is how he dressew then thats easy to overlook. I am quite sure, if he rocks your world in bed, and has a body that sets you on fire, you will NOT care about the clothes. Because you will know ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get past this, and I'm not willing to stay in this relationship if he wants to keep her in his life.
Q. My fiance and I are together since our late teens, and before I met him a girl he wasn't even dating gave him oral sex. She is certainly not a pretty sight and I don't mean to be bitchy. He said he never felt anything for her, he just agreed to let ...
A. 29 September 2014: You are being over dramatic. Really. Chill. He didnt plot behind your back. He is a guy, they take things as they come. Shes nit an ex, he didnt realize itd be a problem (and I honestly dont see why it is a problem). Wgen he found out it was a ... (read in full...)
After 2 months of dating should I ask him where he thinks things are headed?
Q. I went on a first date with a guy I'm currently seeing 2 months ago. We hit it off straight away and have been out together about 15 times since then over the last 2 months. We get on really well and there is a lot I like about him. I have spen...
A. 26 September 2014: You can ask him where he sees himself in the future, if marriage/children is part of his plan or not. Its too soon to ask if you will be part of his future. But I think you can absolutely ask him what his general plan/wishes are. I met my boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with my boyfriend's threesome! Should I tell him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have gotten myself into a really, really stupid situation here. My boyfriend and I have been in a very passionate and loving relationship for about two months and I'll just skip the part where I tell you all how perfect everythi...
A. 25 September 2014: You need to work through this yourself, no matter if you tell him how you feel or not. You could perhaps tell him that you don't want to hear more details about his past sex life. That even when you don't judge him, and everyone has a past, you just ... (read in full...)
I don't like my boyfriend's belly!
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and I have a problem with him physically. He is 6 feet tall and has nice big arms, which I like, but he has a huge belly from years of living a sedentary life style. He's 22. He used to be ...
A. 25 September 2014: You didn't take my advice though, you chickened out. Because you are afraid to be seen as shallow, you refuse to let him go. You are in effect denying him the chance to be with someone who truly loves him, how he LOOKS as well as what a great person ... (read in full...)
Ever since boyfriend showed me naked photos of him and his ex girlfriends things have changed
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and things started out beautiful but that something beautiful is dying now. We met through an social network dating site and when we first decided to meet up, I was reluctant and scared, but I went ...
A. 24 September 2014: You're not over-jealous. I think everyone, at least most people, would react with the same emotions you did. Who keeps in touch with their exes? Well, some. But who keeps photos of them together in a special folder? Very few. And who keeps naked ... (read in full...)
I don't like my boyfriend's belly!
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and I have a problem with him physically. He is 6 feet tall and has nice big arms, which I like, but he has a huge belly from years of living a sedentary life style. He's 22. He used to be ...
A. 24 September 2014: Ah, yes, I see now that the OP is a man and not a woman. I was on my phone earlier, so didn't see the tiny writing. Also, that's why there's a few typoes in my answer. But anyway, the answer is still the same. Sorry, OP, but you can't be with ... (read in full...)
I don't like my boyfriend's belly!
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and I have a problem with him physically. He is 6 feet tall and has nice big arms, which I like, but he has a huge belly from years of living a sedentary life style. He's 22. He used to be ...
A. 24 September 2014: Sorry, but you need to let this one go. You are not attracted to him, and iys one thing to not be attracted to all body part, and another to be repulsed by them. He is not for you, please realize this. His belly will always be there. Always. He does ... (read in full...)
If I resume with my original BF (who cut contact for months) will he be able to tell that I had sex with a bigger guy?
Q. I have a boyfriend but he went abroad in jan 2014 and he hasn't contacted me anymore. After 4 months, I called him and asked if we're still together, he said yes. So i still hope that we will still continue to communicate but he never chatted ...
A. 21 September 2014: No, your EX boyfriend will not be able to tell you had sex with a bigger guy. But I wonder why you want to get back together with your EX boyfriend after HE stopped contact with you! It doesn't sound like he thought that much of you, if he ... (read in full...)
He slept with 2 other women while we weren't official and I can't get past it!
Q. I met this guy in the states this winter whom i started dating. He is from Australia and we hit it off and had a thing for about 3 months then he left back to Australia. We discussed that it would be dumb for us to be together because were in two ...
A. 19 September 2014: This is ridiculous. You are angry at him for not knowing he was in an exclusive relationship, because YOU had the hopes that you would be in one. You didn't discuss it with him, you didn't talk about it, you just decided that YOU wouldn't sleep with ... (read in full...)
Tips for first time oral sex?
Q. hey ladieas i wanna favour from you..me and my gf are planning to go for oral for the first time..please tell me what caution should i take and how i could make this more pleasurable for my gf.....
A. 19 September 2014: Don't poke her with your fingers, and do not try to push your tongue inside her. It's just pointless and brings zero pleasure. Focus on her clitoris. If you don't know what that is, google it. The clitoris is all you need to know about. Then EXPLORE ... (read in full...)
He seems to be moving awfully slowly ...
Q. Last week, I finally had a first date with a man that I felt I had a lot of potential with. We had "matched" on that hot app over a month ago. While he immediately asked me if I would be interested in having drinks with him on our first chat, he ...
A. 19 September 2014: At this point Id ask him directly, because just sitting around waiting doesn't help. Ask him if he wants to meet you again, and suggest a time and place. If he
a) Accepts, or can't make it but suggests another time/place, then he's interest... (read in full...)
He doesn't want kids, but I don't yet know whether I do or not
Q. My boyfriend is a dad of a two year old who he had with another girl. We have been dating a little less than two years now. He has always seemed ambivalent about having another kid at some point in his life and that was ok with me because I'm not ...
A. 19 September 2014: Stay with him until you find you want kids. My guess is that you will eventually break up for completely other reasons anyway. Because that's how it typically goes, at least in my experience. For example, I was dating a man who broke up with me ... (read in full...)
He seems to be moving awfully slowly ...
Q. Last week, I finally had a first date with a man that I felt I had a lot of potential with. We had "matched" on that hot app over a month ago. While he immediately asked me if I would be interested in having drinks with him on our first chat, he ...
A. 19 September 2014: I had to add another comment. I think it's normal to be seeing more than one person at a time when using app dating/online dating. You meet several people simultaneously, so it's bound to happen. I was dating several at the same time too. But the ... (read in full...)
He seems to be moving awfully slowly ...
Q. Last week, I finally had a first date with a man that I felt I had a lot of potential with. We had "matched" on that hot app over a month ago. While he immediately asked me if I would be interested in having drinks with him on our first chat, he ...
A. 19 September 2014: Sounds to me like he is busy dating other people, and you are just not top priority right now. I was using online dating a while, and met a guy just like yours. He said he wanted to meet up, and the first date was quickly arranged. But after that he ... (read in full...)
His being late makes me feel disrespected
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. He was on-time our first date but almost every time after that he is late. I am not talking 15 mins late. I am talking an hour! There have been times when he had decent reason for being late and I just ...
A. 18 September 2014: Yeah, he's playing dumb. He gets it. It doesn't matter at what time you have to get up in the morning, what YOU choose to do with YOUR time is NOT up for him to dictate! It's one thing to be rude and show up late, another level of rudeness to act ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm looking at a life-time of 'what he thinks is best'
Q. I'm having some issues with my boyfriend and the decisions he makes. We've been together for three years. Last year I finished my undergraduate degree and moved to the city my boyfriend lived in to do postgraduate study while he finished his ...
A. 18 September 2014: This is so typical. The feminist in me shivers when I hear stories like this. It is soooo gender typical that the woman follows the man wherever he wants to go, and on whatever he wants to do career wise, and soooo typical that the womans career is ... (read in full...)
His being late makes me feel disrespected
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. He was on-time our first date but almost every time after that he is late. I am not talking 15 mins late. I am talking an hour! There have been times when he had decent reason for being late and I just ...
A. 18 September 2014: It's been only two months. I say end this thing you have with him. Dating is supposed to be the time where you see if this is someone you want to dedicate your time and energy on. After just two months, you've found out he ISN'T worth it.
He's ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my fear of erections/seeing women naked?
Q. I go to a very liberal college. At this college, the pool for the dorms is actually clothing optional. I went down to the pool last night and a few friends were celebrating a birthday. For a while, it was pretty fun... At a certain point, everybody ...
A. 15 September 2014: Having an erection is normal. It's not a sign you are creepy, or impolite etc. It's a perfectly normal reaction to nudity. There is a difference between having an erection/getting aroused and wanting to have sex! I mean, it's just physics, you get ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
