| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
Is it okay to remove myself and "give her up" as a close friend?
Q. So I'm in the situation where I've told one of my good friends that I don't want to see her for a while... The story goes like this: I was good friends with her in high school but she did these little things like made out with a guy I was interested ...
A. 28 January 2015: That's good, just continue doing what is best for you. Toxic people are no good for you, no matter what.... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 24 January 2015: You're in a small town and recently just moved there? Then back off this girl. Small town people do nothing but talk and gossip, and it will NOT be in your advantage to be seen with her, or to have people gossiping about it, because people will most ... (read in full...)
How do I let my boyfriend know that I like it when he looks and dresses a certain way?
Q. I am dating a guy I am not physically attracted to. We were friends for years but lost touch. Eventually we got back in touch recently and he asked me out. I said yes because he is a great guy-sweet, kind, caring, warm etc. I actually can not say ...
A. 23 January 2015: "I am dating a guy I am not physically attracted to."
Say no more. End it. It will NEVER go anywhere, and he will NEVER be someone you are attracted to. You like what you like, simple as that. You can not chance your preference. Do him, and your... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 23 January 2015: I think it's normal for you to feel off about this. I wouldn't say guilt, necessarily, but there's a 10 year difference at an age where it still matters. If she was 40 and you 50, I don't think it'd be the same.
You know how the equation goes, ri... (read in full...)
How should I tell my ex about my new girl friend?
Q. My relationship is great with my current girlfriend but my ex girlfriend is still in love with me and we are best friends but how do I tell that I'm with someone else without hurting her because I still wish to be friends with her still but he...
A. 22 January 2015: If she is in love with you, then you are NOT friends. Friendship is platonic, not romantic. You will lose her, but you were wrong to keep her aroind knowing she has feelings for you. It was dosrespectful to your new girlfriend as well. You got to ... (read in full...)
If my boyfriend fantasizes about big girls, why does he want me to be fit and in shape??
Q. My boyfriend is into big girls sexually. Big blobs and bums and pretty faces, chubby girls. He watches porn of this variety and has told me it's a thing he has. Said he had sex with a fat girl once and didn't enjoy it at all. So why still the fa...
A. 21 January 2015: Haha, have you never had a fantasy yourself in your life? I encourage you to develop some, if you never had them. Try to use your imagination. I am quite sure an adult woman like yourself knows the difference between reality and fantasy, and why in ... (read in full...)
How do I break up with my boyfriend of five years?
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 5 years but just don't know how to do it. I've been wanting to end it for some time now, but don't know what to say, how to say it, where to say it?? I'm just dreading the whole thing. The thing is we met...
A. 21 January 2015: You say this: We need to talk. I am at a different place in life now than when we first met, and feel we are different people who want different things out of life. I appreciate the time we've had together, and the good moments, but I have come to ... (read in full...)
How often is too often? And if the only sexual activitiy I have ever had has been masterbation, alone, then am I still a virgin?
Q. Hey everyone im 17 and im a girl and i feel that i have a huge problem. I masturbate a lot especially when i feel horny. I use my fingers and a vibrator and i orgasm most of the time. I am a virgin but i believe in marriage then sex with my part...
A. 20 January 2015: Nothing wrong in it. You're a virgin until you've had sex with another person, and the general definition is that you are a virgin until you've had a penis penetrate your vagina. However, such definitions don't really matter much, as if you're a ... (read in full...)
Would a memorial tattoo put off a future partner?
Q. Me and my ex mutually agreed that it wasn't working as a couple because we had been friends for over a decade before dating and that felt more like us than the time we'd spent trying to be a couple. After breaking up, we found out she was pregnant ...
A. 20 January 2015: It'd be off-putting to me. Sorry. That's just me though, but I would find it very difficult to see a future with a man who has such a strong tie to a past with another woman. I would not find it off-putting that you wanted to have a tattoo to ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always come and tell me how attractive some guy is?
Q. About half of my friends are females. I tend to get along with them more I guess because most guys I meet are more immature. Still, I'm a guy not a girl. Why is it that all my female friends feel the need to tell me about how attractive some ...
A. 20 January 2015: How do you know they "know you dont like it"? It's the most common complain when you expect people to read your mind: they KNOW this. But they don't, really. Unless you've told them straight "I do not like when you comment on other men to me".
... (read in full...)
Is it okay to remove myself and "give her up" as a close friend?
Q. So I'm in the situation where I've told one of my good friends that I don't want to see her for a while... The story goes like this: I was good friends with her in high school but she did these little things like made out with a guy I was interested ...
A. 19 January 2015: It's always okay to remove yourself from a situation you feel is negative. I say keep the door open for her to come back if she can put her ex/abusive relationship behind her, and if she's matured and found confidence then she can be your friend ... (read in full...)
She's completely undermined my sexual confidence with her comments about her ex
Q. Let me apologize in advance for another penis post . LOL I can relate to the commentS I have read about being rejected and worrying my penis is inadequate. I am average but thick. 6" long and 6" around and she still tries to make me feel goo...
A. 19 January 2015: Oh dear, this is what you get when you snoop. I'd tell you words of confidence, but you should have known better, so you got what you asked for. Private conversations are NOT for you to read, for this very reason. Those words were not intended for ... (read in full...)
My b/f wants to try anal sex, but I don't think I'm comfortable with it. How common is it for people to try anal sex?
Q. I'm wondering what everyone thinks of anal sex. I'm 21 my b/f is 23 and we've been together roughly 2 years. He's the only guy I've ever been with and we have been sexually active for a few months now. He's recently told me about wanting to try a...
A. 19 January 2015: Firstly, trust the man to know what his preferences are. If he likes you butts and find you attractive, then you can't argue that it isn't attractive to him. Obviously it is.
Second, you've only had sex for a few months now. Anal sex is advanced... (read in full...)
Condoms under his bed ! Do I believe his explanation? Am I over-reacting?
Q. Hi all, I would really like some help ihave wrote on here before but would appreciate some more advice. Been with my boyfriend for 3 years I love him to pieces. But about 6 monthd ago we went to his mums house when his brother came out with, '...
A. 19 January 2015: Short answer: you are over reacting. He is a normal boy who plays with his penis and watches porn. Simple as that.... (read in full...)
My ex of 3 years has replaced me within 6 weeks
Q. After 3 years of being with my boyfriend from age 16-19 he told me suddenly that he doesn't love me as much as he used to and ended the relationship, he said he wanted to stay friends but I said I would rather not as it would play with my emotions ...
A. 19 January 2015: My advice is to not take it personally. Everyone moves on at different speefd and in different ways. Doesnt mean you meant less to him than he did to you. This is just his way of dealing with life, to move on quickly. It is not what works for ... (read in full...)
I am sure my Mom was just a bit tipsy but this creeped me out!
Q. Hi, I m a 23 year old guy. Yesterday I asked my friend Jeremy (also 23) to sleep over my house for the whole weekend. Around 10 my mom and her best friend were sitting at the kitchen counter drinking some wine when Jeremy came over. This was the ...
A. 18 January 2015: Lol, your friend is old enough to say no if he isnt interested. No need for you to worry. And girlfriends do talk about such things for fun, not necessarily meaning it or taking it seriously. Last night I went out with some girl friends, there was a ... (read in full...)
I am pregnant, fearful and uneasy with my LDR engagement. I need an intervention.
Q. How do I act, communicate or make things better in my LDR relationship without looking like a jealous, insecured and weak woman? I am currently engaged to my LDR boyfriend and we just found out I am expecting a child on NewYears. I may just be ...
A. 18 January 2015: Quick question, what do you mean you will have a baby by NewYears? If you are pregnant now, you will have a baby by October the latest. Can you clarify this?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want his expensive birthday gift, and I can't get my money back!
Q. I got my boyfriend an pretty expensive bday gift. I got us a cabin as a weekday getaway. I planned everything including food and transportation. I wanted to surprise him and he doesn't want to go. He says he'll be hungover and he wants to go out ...
A. 16 January 2015: Yah, go with someone else and then think about whether this relationship has a future or not.
Not that you should be able to force him to go, and as a general rule, such "surprise" trips SHOULD be planned at least to know that the other person w... (read in full...)
My fiancee seems to not try to impress me anymore or even bother having sex with me.
Q. Im getting married in a year and a half to my fiancee. We have an 8 year age gap and I love him very much. With the past month though I feel I am cracking up.I'm not sure am I just over thinking or what but I feel he is letting me down alot. It all ...
A. 16 January 2015: Not cheating doesn't mean he's someone you NEED to hold on to.
You're not happy, and I remember your posts from before. Things haven't improved, and the disappointments started even before his proposal. It all comes down to you not actually... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: I already told you how to make it up to her: Give her time. Time is what is needed. Give of yourself, stay in the relationship, treat her well over TIME. That's what you need to do. There's no quick fix for trust, trust just needs time. ... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: Dont be a chicken. Act like an adult and take responsibility, and dont do childish things like this again. Give your relationship time, thats what it takes to get better. Just time and patience. ... (read in full...)
I can't get myself to study, about to fail, help everyone !
Q. Hello everyone, before I start talking about my problem I would like to thank you for taking time to read this and answer me. I’m a medical student, which has always been my dream since I was 5 years old. Always being that straight A’s sma...
A. 15 January 2015: You disappoint yourself. You are harsh on yourself. You're the one who put all this pressure on yourself, people around you are just following it up. You can say no. You can say stop. It's your life.
It's all about what you want out of life and... (read in full...)
A year of living together but I don't see us moving forward. Am I wasting my time?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years now, and we've been living together for about a year. We're both 28. When he asked me to move in, it followed some pretty intense conversations about our future and if he saw marriage and kids as part of ...
A. 15 January 2015: When I read your story, all I can imagine is what if I was in his position. What sort of relationship/future did I see myself having with my girlfriend, if she asked for marriage and committment, and my response is "I want to live life first"... It ... (read in full...)
My boy friend lied about liking big breasts and now I feel self conscious about my small chest
Q. Hello, this might be a bit redundant as there are some similar questions on this site. Anyway, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything's great. However, I recently found out he's lied about his physical preferences. ...
A. 15 January 2015: No one forced him to be with you. So if you are not his preference, then how do you explain him being with you? A man has more preferences than just one or two, and people are more than just their body parts... So he likes YOU. Not your boobs. Not ... (read in full...)
Can a single man genuinely love and accept a woman who has children?
Q. I am in the process of reconsidering my marriage due to a lot of mental abuse. I have told my husband about this. A few months ago I made an acquaintance with a man and he knew I was married and have 2 children. The fact that I have children did not ...
A. 13 January 2015: In my experience they have no problem with a woman having children. However, the degree of involvement with the children will vary. Not all wish to be a step-dad. Some love to be the "buddy" or uncle sort of, others want to be a step dad in the ... (read in full...)
Advice please. Has anyone ever stayed in a long term relationship due to the SEX being out of this world?
Q. What do you do when you and your boyfriend have this crazy, intense, over the top physical, sexual chemistry that neither of you has ever experienced with anyone else? And it seems to sometimes take on a life of its own? I find it gets in the way ...
A. 12 January 2015: Yupp. I have, twice. The sex was mindblowing, our bodies just melted together, no words needed to be said, he read my body perfectly and I read his as my own.
Did we stay together despite not being compatible? Oh yes. Do I regret it? Not really. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I've never had sex?
Q. So I've been on a few dates with a woman and we seem to be really clicking. I'm thinking we'll have sex sometime soon. There is one thing gnawing at me though. Should I tell her I'm a virgin? The thing is I'm 35 years old and suffered from ...
A. 12 January 2015: I say tell her, just so she will be proper with you and she can explain things or understand when/if you have problems or questions. You dont need to warn her though, just say it once you get down to business and are i nbed together. It will be ... (read in full...)
Will I always regret not sleeping with someone else if we do marry?
Q. I was brought up in quite a religious family and was taught not to have sex before marriage. While all my friends were having a varied sex life during uni I was with another guy who had similar values. We broke up and I have now been with my cur...
A. 11 January 2015: Oh, do relax. I've been there, done that. I'm still there, actually, in one way or the other. I am a bisexual woman. I've never had a relationship with a woman. And so I used to go 'round and 'round thinking I needed to be with a woman before I ... (read in full...)
I'm mad at my BF for not getting in touch with me when he got back from a trip. Am I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend went away to visit family out of town for four days. He turns his iPhone off anytime he is in a foreign country not to incur extra charges so we do not speak on the phone. He sent me one email to tell me he had arrived safely an...
A. 11 January 2015: I had a boyfriend like yours. So I know what this is about, and I don't think the first people who answered your question have a clue. If this was a one time thing.. then yes, sure, you're overreacting and demanding and expecting too much. But this ... (read in full...)
Men in tights: what do girls think of them?
Q. Hi! I would like to know if women find it okay to see men in tights. I wear tights to my gym as I find them comfortable and they make me feel sexy too. I'm planning to get married soon and would like to know whether generally women find it okay for ...
A. 10 January 2015: I wonder what you mean by "planning to get married soon" as well. What does that have to do with wearing tights? Or do you mean, you want to get married, but haven't found a girlfriend yet, and wonder if wearing tights will be good to attract women? ... (read in full...)
He wants to tie me up to force me to orgasm!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about two months, and we were eachothers first. He is great in bed, and has told me that he enjoys me as well. I have no problem getting him off, however I can not reach an orgasm. We have tried several ...
A. 9 January 2015: You should start by making yourself come, before you attempt at it with him. You need to see if this urge to pee is an actual urge to pee, or if it's just a similar feeling and actually means you're about to orgasm. Some girl squirt, if you haven't ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of cutting ties with my father -- am I being unreasonable?
Q. Im thinking of cutting contact with my dad as i dont want him in my life any more but would like some advice on whether i am overreacting before i go ahead with it. Im sorry this is so long. To cut an extremely long story short my parents divorced...
A. 8 January 2015: Talk to your dad about this one final time. No more dropping hints and "testing" to see if he will come! Its childish. Be honest and upfront, not passive aggressive. Tell him how you feel, arrange for him to come see you every other month, and you ... (read in full...)
Everytime my Bf talks to his friends, he does so when I am not around. Why so overly private?
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend. We both live on the West coast and we both met here. We are both from the East coast and most of our friends and family are there. We've been dating for 8 months and we live together. I've met one of his sibl...
A. 8 January 2015: Either his friends are exluding idiots, or your bf is. ... (read in full...)
If I date a Female to Male transsexual person does that make me bisexual?
Q. So, quick question. Whilst I support the LGBT community in being who they are, I don't know much about transgender people. I have done a little bit of reading on transgender people, so I know basic abbreviations (cis, mtf, ftm, T)...
A. 7 January 2015: You really should STOP putting yourself in a box. Stop with the labels! I believe labels ruin perfectly healthy sexualities, because people become obsessed about fitting into their label, rather than just doing what feels good and right.
You'r... (read in full...)
Is she being unfair? I don't want to be selfish. But is it wrong that she now wants to have a girl's weekend and squash our previously arranged vacation?
Q. i've had some major plans to do something significant with my girlfriend for quite a few months now. we were planning to go on a mini-vacation together over the weekend, go visit some places, etc. sort of a couples weekend. we made these plans...
A. 7 January 2015: If she cancels everything and pays for the non-refundables, then its no priblem. Take your day off from work and do simething YOU enjoy. Its "me time". Enjoy it. She should foot the bill since she is the once cancelling, but if you want to win ... (read in full...)
Two years together and he's married. I don't want to be in love with him any more. How do I supress my feelings for him?
Q. This has been a bit of a problem for a while. About two and a half years ago, I fell madly in love with this guy that I know. I guess that scared me quite a bit because I'd never had such feelings for anyone before. This wouldn't be as much of a ...
A. 7 January 2015: Are you currently seeing him? The best, and in many cases only, way to get over someone, is to stop seeing them. No talking, no meeting up, no staring at pictures. Love will die if you stop nurturing it. Love is only going to last if you keep ... (read in full...)
I won't be fooled again
Q. I have a problem Im not sure how bad it is. My boyfriend of about 9 months has been so wonderful to me. He compliments me all the time, he caters to me when we are together and he showers me with gifts. So what's the problem right? Well I ...
A. 6 January 2015: He is a grown man. He knew what he was doing. Dont make up exuses for him. Not all men are fakes like this one, pretending to be a good guy, but is a cheater. I say, leave. He knew what he was doing, and if he wanted so much to be with you, or even ... (read in full...)
Attracted to guys but afraid of anything sexual
Q. Single, never been in a relationship, never dated, no experience whatsoever. So why is my biggest stress worrying about sex? I don't know when it started, but since I can remember, I've always been extremely shy when it comes to sex and nudity....
A. 5 January 2015: "I'm worried that I'm never going to have a relationship because I'll be too scared to actually go very far with a boyfriend"
A boyfriend (emphasis on the a) is a perfect stranger you imagine in your head. No one, or very few, likes the idea of ... (read in full...)
I can't help thinking the worst. Is his past browsing history a sign that he's becoming a man I no longer feel I know?
Q. Hi I would really appreciate some help I feel like my boyfriend of 3 years is becoming someone I don't know. I love him so much and couldn't really imagine life without him but I keep finding little things that make me feel unwanted; I foun...
A. 5 January 2015: Based on what you write, I don't think he's changed at all. More just you getting to know him better and discovering his porn habits. That add directing you to women in your area to have sex with IS spam. That's such a common spam thing you find on ... (read in full...)
She's blamed me for her sexting, flirting and flashing on webchat. Is this classed as cheating? Can I trust her?
Q. i have been with my fiancee for almost 4 years now and we are actively planning our wedding. she has confessed to me that she has been flirting with her ex on text, flirting with other guys on web chat and has also been flashing on webchat....
A. 5 January 2015: Yes, this is cheating :( And passing blame as a defence... Its to avoid talking about her cheating, so she makes it about lack of sex... But it has nothing to do with that. People who cheat will always make up some exvise, but the truth is that ... (read in full...)
Do I have a lot to learn or is he trying to take advantage of me?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we have been dating for under a year. This is the first time I have dated an older guy. We don't live together and we are only together a few nights out of the week after we both get off for work...
A. 4 January 2015: He's trying to take advantage of you, and he's a bully. I'd see this as a red flag. He's already trying to control you by telling you what you can and can't wear, and "punishing" you with a bad mood if you don't do as he pleases and act as his maid. ... (read in full...)
Should we have a discussion about being exclusive?
Q. I met a guy 5 months ago and we got on very well and kept seeing each other. In the early days we went on dates regularly and things were going well for us. We are going away on holiday together in a few weeks and I have no reason to think that we ...
A. 4 January 2015: It is great to have a relationship with no arguments or fighting, but only if that's because you both agree on things and have the same sort of personality. If the reason for not fighting is because one or both of you are conflict shy.. well then it ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
