A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is the Difference between liking someone and the idea of someone?I've been out with a girl a number of times. I have a nice time with her. I dont feel a huge sense of attraction there, but I do feel the start of a nice warm feeling about her. I enjoy our time together, but couldn't say what gives me that feeling. What about her specifically. Is it just the fact I'm having a nice time, which could be with anyone? I'm struggling to find why I want to see her again. I don't feel too fussed if I weren't able to see again, but I do want to as I know I'll have a nice evening. We can can easily go days without contact, but I do wait for a reply after I sent a message, get a little nervous. Again I'm not sure if that's because of her, of just the fear of someone not replying or saying something I don't want to hear. Does it sound like I like her or the idea of her / having a partner / wanting a gf etc?Thanks for your time. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 November 2014):
 Well, you can like both her AND the idea of having a partner. You obviously do like her, if you thought she was terrible or boring you wouldnt be seeing her. But in love? Not yet. However those feelings tend to need time to build up, especially if you met through dates, and not met as friends first. It takes time for feelings to develop. But if you don't like the idea of a relationship you wouldn't be dating to begin with. They way I see it, you need to like both the idea of having someone (means you want a relationship in general and are ready for it) and like the woman you enter a relationship with (that she's a god match for you). Then let feelings develop over time, or tell her that you like her as a person, but aren't feeling the "spark" (often referred to as chemistry).
A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (18 November 2014):
 Some loves you recognise right away.. the attraction is so strong and powerful that there's no denying. Then there's the kinda love that just grows slowly and steadily. Then there's the love that starts out with you both hating each other's guts lol!!
I assume you haven't asked her to be your girlfriend yet and you both are just going on casual dates. My suggestion would be to continue the friendship.. enjoy each other's company.
You will know in your heart when you finally decide this is not going any where or you are ready for her to be your girlfriend.
Listen to your heart and enjoy the company for now!
All the best!
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (17 November 2014):
Your heart clearly isn't in this one. At this stage of the game if you two were really compatible you'd be all a flutter. She ain't the one, son!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2014):
Yea I think your attracted to her, but maybe your thinking shes alright for now until somethink better comes along. Is that what your thinking?. If so maybe your not that attracted to her. I dont think you should incourage the relationship, cause you will block the flow of someone you like even better coming into your life.
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