A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:DISCLAIMER:I came out of a long term relationship 8 months ago, have no desire for a relationship and am simply having a bit of fun before I get too old! And yes I'm always careful.One night stands.. Am I right in thinking that it's usually a case or meet someone out, have sex, then go your separate ways either later that night or the following morning? In mine and my friends experience, that seems to be how it is.So last weekend I went for a weekend away with some girlfriends, got chatting to a lovely man and ended up going back to my room for sex. It was very different to any one night stand I've ever had before, we had wine and drinks and chatted before anything happened, then had very intimate sex, then stayed up chatting, telling each other jokes and talking about all sorts, work, family, backgrounds etc, had sex again and then cuddled all night. In the morning I woke before him so went into the bathroom to have a shower etc. I went back into the bedroom and he commented on my appearance, calling me beautiful and saying how much he'd enjoyed the previous evening and joked about how he couldn't believe he'd found a woman who was not only good in bed but could also make him laugh! He kissed me and then led back down on the bed and fell back to sleep. I went into the kitchen and made myself a drink, then went back upstairs after about half hour to find him gone. We hadn't exchanged numbers or anything and now I'm massively confused! If a 'normal' one night stand had done a runner in the morning I wouldn't have thought anymore about it but this one seemed so different.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 November 2014):
 I think he just valued his time with you, and didn't see a need to rush out in embarrassment. But it was a ONS none the less, so no need to cramp your space. I think if you wanted to hang out with him he might have wanted it, and get to know you better. The way you acted, from what I can tell, gave him a pretty good idea of what you wanted (for him to leave). You vanished on him several times after all, and it seems there was little communication. He just wanted to sleep, not get up early, and then leave.
I had a one night stand once who was quite relaxed in the morning and not at all in a hurry to get away (or get his clothes on). He was sitting butt naked on my bed, all casually, and we talked for a little while before he even got to the part of getting dressed. He was totally at ease being there, being naked. It was fascinating, actually, because I never saw anyone before that who was so comfortable in his own skin. Some people are just chill and relaxed about ONS. When I met this guy later on (we took a class in uni together) there was nothing awkward about it, and we were talking friendly, but nothing more came of it because neither wanted anything more. That's the thing with ONS. When both parties are well aware of what they are getting into, and aren't interested in trying to take things further (as so many so often are), then it's all just relaxed and good.
I think you just met a guy who was comfortable with ONS, whereas other guys you have met probably felt anxious or nervous about it, maybe even embarrassed since they rush out. Just my take on it. I'm totally at ease with a ONS as well, so the only times I have been in a rush to get out is if I felt guilty or embarrassed for some reason or other. If not, then I don't mind staying for breakfast, or even meeting up later on a friendly level.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 November 2014):
 I think he kind of did a runner too, if he didn't leave any way for you to contact him or ask for your number.
What might be a little out of the ordinary this guy didn't TREAT you like a ONS (wham, ban, thank you Ma'am),but I wouldn't read more into it then that. The guy had class and manner... not a bad thing.
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