| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How can I get over my fear of erections/seeing women naked?
Q. I go to a very liberal college. At this college, the pool for the dorms is actually clothing optional. I went down to the pool last night and a few friends were celebrating a birthday. For a while, it was pretty fun... At a certain point, everybody ...
A. 15 September 2014: Having an erection is normal. It's not a sign you are creepy, or impolite etc. It's a perfectly normal reaction to nudity. There is a difference between having an erection/getting aroused and wanting to have sex! I mean, it's just physics, you get ... (read in full...)
Can my mom and her new husband really change my name? I don't want them to!
Q. My dad die when i was ten, and for 2 years it was just me and mum. I still miss my dad. Mum made a new friend Dave, he is okay actually and i get along great with him. After a while we all started holidaying together and then Dave moved in with us. ...
A. 14 September 2014: I actually dont know if they can change your name without your conscent, I suggest you try and google it or ask a teacher at yoour school for advice. But I do know this: once you become an adult in the eyes of the law, you can change it back!
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend choked me in an argument and I'm extremely disturbed. What do I do?
Q. I got into a silly tussle/fight with my fiancé a few months ago. She had been moody and snappy with me and her parents all day. At the end of the night I got fed up with her horrible attitude and said I was leaving for the night. As I s...
A. 9 September 2014: I guess it could be seen as self defense, but the fact is that punching her is probably going to be seen as... well, a guy hitting a girl. And society isn't there yet to accept that this can be self defense. Still, I would talk to the police, you ... (read in full...)
Do you think there are more male FA's(forever alones) than female FA's, more male virgins out there than female virgins?
Q. and obviously I include more male late bloomers than female late bloomers, as in people that are like 25+ years of age and still a virgin or never dated, never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before, because that's what it seems like from searching on ...
A. 8 September 2014: They are probably equal. Its just that male virgins cry louder about it. And you know what, your theory about women having so many options while young is absolute bs. They have just as many options as guys do, not more, not less. Ive been rejected ... (read in full...)
Is this normal in a relationship?
Q. Hi, this is not really a personal question but I'd like to hear some opinions. It is regarding the recent celebrity nude pictures scandal. After seeing the pics I find myself questioning what is normal and acceptable in relationships(I've never had ...
A. 5 September 2014: Just noticed your age. Sorry for going hard on you, you being your age makes your ignorance understandable. Just don't judge from here on and out. ... (read in full...)
Is this normal in a relationship?
Q. Hi, this is not really a personal question but I'd like to hear some opinions. It is regarding the recent celebrity nude pictures scandal. After seeing the pics I find myself questioning what is normal and acceptable in relationships(I've never had ...
A. 5 September 2014: Your a very judgmental person, aren't you? What people do in the privacy of their own home is THEIR business, not yours. If some have sex in this or that position, with or without semen on their face... How is that supposed to make them NASTY?
... (read in full...)
Is it normal that my Bf wants to watch porn when he's getting oral? Leaves me feeling hurt.
Q. Sorry the Q is a bit long but I need to give you all the details, I really need your help!!! My boyfriend and I have an almost perfect sex life. Last night we came back very drunk from the club and started playing around for fun in order to have...
A. 1 September 2014: Didnt you just say yourself that he has a hard time ejaculating when drunk??? Why do you think its all about you? He has a hard time reaching orgasm, which btw can be quite difficult to deal with, for both men and women. He asked to watch porn ... (read in full...)
Need help dealing with heavy periods
Q. Hey I'm 13 and I have really heavy periods which are usually accompanied by horrible cramps. My cycle lasts for 3-4 days; in a day I manage to get through 4 pads!? Is this normal? I don't wear tampons because they seem really unfomortable. Like when ...
A. 28 August 2014: Talk to your doctor and parents about it. Birth control pills would help you out a lot as the bleeding will be more controlled and will decrease, as well as the cramps.... (read in full...)
The man I love can't give me a baby
Q. So my husband and I were having some trouble concieveing. We are in a very fortunate financial position despite our age and feel we can give a child a good upbringing. With me, everything seemed to be fine, but my husbands test results weren't so ...
A. 27 August 2014: You're in shock over the news and this needs time to set in your head first. Right now it's all chaos and you're not abler to think straight. Let things settle down a bit first, give this some time, it will calm down in your mind and you'll know ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boy friend but get off to lesbian porn??
Q. i have had a boyfriend for 2 and a half years no and i am deeply in love with him, i had never masturbated before but today i had a sudden erg so i went for it and found myself masturbating thinking about girls i then did it again but this time to ...
A. 27 August 2014: You're not gay just because you watch and like gay porn. Look, you're in love with your boyfriend. If you were gay you wouldn't be in love with him, you'd be in love with a girl instead. Its that simple.
Besides, what you watch in porn, and what... (read in full...)
Meeting his family for the first time
Q. I'm meeting my boyfriends family for the first time tomorrow, with the exception of his sister, who I went to school with, and I'm so nervous I feel sick. I have been invited for a family lunch at his dad's house, so there will be his dad, step mu...
A. 23 August 2014: For a family lunch I wouldn't bring a bottle of anything alcoholic. If bringing anything, Id keep it very simple, and something that goes well with a lunch. But if I were you, Id not bring anything. You're arriving with your boyfriend, yes? So that ... (read in full...)
Am I not supposed to show my feelings? I am at a loss!
Q. I don't know what to do with my girlfriend anymore. I feel like I'm always failing, even when I don't know why or what I did wrong. I picked her up from work the other night with a bouquet of flowers, trying to be sweet. We went back to my place...
A. 23 August 2014: Im sorry, but the way I read your text you come off as a self pitying drama queen. Maybe Im wrong. Probably I am wrong, because a text can only say so much. But sheezes dude, were supposed to believe you are not at fault in anything that happens or ... (read in full...)
I can't be his first kiss but I want to be his best kiss!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are both 24 and we're serious about each other. We want to marry soon and can't imagine life without each other but there is one issue that is distressing me. I've actually saved myself for marriage....I haven't kissed or had sex ...
A. 23 August 2014: You already got answers to this. You have misunderstood it all! What people write/say is about your first kiss with a new partner! Not first kiss ever. And besides, thats just how some people feel about it, definitely not everyone. Its NOT a fact, ... (read in full...)
I don't think he would ever cheat on me but is a cheat always a cheat in your opinion?
Q. Hi guys :) I ve been seeing my bf for 8 months now exclusively but i was kinda seeing him (never sex) when he was with his ex. I know its horrible and I feel so guilty. I met her a few times and she was so mean and horrible to him. He said that the...
A. 22 August 2014: A cheat is always a cheat in my opinion. So he cheated on her, but he also used her for his own financial gain, which is quite low and speaks of his character. So what if she treated him bad? That's the dumbest excuse. There's no excuse to cheat, ... (read in full...)
Could this dream mean something? Or is this just due to stress due to splitting up with my long term partner?
Q. I am 22 years old, I have been in a troubled relationship for six years and we also have a son. We have a very rocky relationship and have no finally split up which I think is for the best. Over the years I haven't been the best person, for some ...
A. 20 August 2014: I would take this as your grandmother telling you something important about your life. I believe my grandmother watches over me too, and when Ive dreamed of her she always has a message. Something she wants to tel me, or like in your dream, ... (read in full...)
Experiences with losing your virginity in a one night stand or to a FWB??
Q. So recently I was asked by a friend I have know since I was five if I wanted to have sex with him in a fwb kinda thing. My problem with this is that I am virgin. I'm just wondering what are some experiences anybody has had with losing their ...
A. 19 August 2014: I did that. I wasn't asked by a friend, I was the one to do the asking. I was 16 and horny. Mind you, 16 is the age of consent in Norway. I support people waiting until the law in their country saying it's ok... It's just good practice. Anyway, I've ... (read in full...)
They say your first kiss is your best, how do I get over the fact that I'm not my boyfriend's first?
Q. This is driving me insane....can anyone help please? So me and my bf are in love but recently I've been getting really insecure about his past especially the fact that I wasn't his first kiss but he was mine. It never bothered me before but I accide...
A. 18 August 2014: You have a problem with listening too much to what "others" say. You didn't have a problem with this until someone online made it out like you should have a problem with it. Now suddenly you feel insecure about something that is absolutely ... (read in full...)
We agreed to be exclusive, she says sex with another woman doesn't count!
Q. I've been with a woman for about a month, we just recently had the talk and decided to be exclusive but not official. Deciding to take things slow. Last night she decided to attempt to see if she could do anything sexually with another woman. She ...
A. 18 August 2014: It counts. Sex with someone else, regardless of gender, counts. If she wants to have an open relationship where she gets to have sex with other women, then this needs to be agreed upon by the both of you. Otherwise it's cheating. ... (read in full...)
Sex with my partner is so predictable I can't bring myself to do it anymore
Q. I've been with my partner for three years and at first our sex life was amazing. We would do it every night in a variety of places and positions.... Of course I expected that it was begin to calm down but it has got to a point now when I literally ...
A. 17 August 2014: Yeah, you need to talk to him about this. He probably feels the same way, but both of you are sticking your heads in the sand and avoiding the topic, and just "gritting your teeth" to get it over with.
If you're both reluctant to bring it up, h... (read in full...)
The scar from my boyfriend's circumcision makes me sad
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I could use some advice here. My boyfriend is circumcised, and often when we're intimate I notice his scar and I feel really sad about it. Like, he was born perfect and then his parents/doctors decided to cut off a really sen...
A. 17 August 2014: I just have to comment on what some posters wrote before me. There seems to be some misinformation here. Foreskin does not smell. Nor is it less clean. A crotch and a mans sweat are the same, whether he has foreskin or not. A mans hygiene is also ... (read in full...)
I hooked up with a friend after a break up and now am worried I might be pregnant
Q. I just recently got out of a relationship with a man I was with for a year. He didn't break up with me formally. We had our last date then he ignored me and gave me the silent treatment until I realized (a month later) that this was his cowardly way ...
A. 17 August 2014: You're not pregnant. You're jumping waaaaay ahead of the game here. You think you have pregnancy symptoms after what.. possibly being pregnant for a week or two? Symptoms of pregnancy don't show that early, if at all. You're just stressing yourself ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for us to fix things?
Q. I have been in my relationship for over 5 years now and now we are engaged. The problem I am having is we argue constantly. I screwed up in the past and had this front where I was very sexually experienced, which was false I was a virgin. She never ...
A. 17 August 2014: I suggest you let her read what you wrote on here. Theres a lot of "she knows how this makes me feel", yet it is rare that people can read minds. Even when you think it is obvious. Tell her what you told us/wrote on here. Communication is the key to ... (read in full...)
I have trouble climaxing!
Q. I am having a sexual problem. Basically I can't cum when I have sex. Condom or no condom. This is over multiple partners over about two years of being sexually active. So far I've never been able to cum with a partner. I'm not sure if it's a ph...
A. 17 August 2014: What is the lenght of your relationships? And how early into a new relationship do you introduce sex? If you are able to orgasm through masturbation or wet dreams, then the problem is not physical, but psychological. My bet is that you either ... (read in full...)
The scar from my boyfriend's circumcision makes me sad
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I could use some advice here. My boyfriend is circumcised, and often when we're intimate I notice his scar and I feel really sad about it. Like, he was born perfect and then his parents/doctors decided to cut off a really sen...
A. 17 August 2014: I had a boyfriend once who was curcumcised. I felt the same way about it as you do. My advice is to not tell him how you feel about his penis. He cant do anything about it, and telling him it is a turn off will just hurt his feelings. However you ... (read in full...)
Is there a difference between a FWB and a side chick?
Q. I don't really know how to start off my question other than just asking it plain and simple. I'm just wondering if there is a difference between a side chick and friends with benefits? And if there's a difference then how are they different? The gu...
A. 15 August 2014: Yeah, you ruined any chance of being his girlfriend by having casual sex with him. In his eyes, you are nothing more than a booty call. But, to be fair, you didn't stand much chance to begin with, because he's already taken with kids none the less. ... (read in full...)
We are going to a costume convention and the other girl is wearing the same outfit!
Q. I need advice, though not really relationship advice. My boyfriend and I are going with a group of (his) friends to a costume convention. Think comicon if that helps. This is my first time going to one. We came up with a theme in the beginning of ...
A. 14 August 2014: I understand how you feel. It sucks. You wanted to stand out, and now you're just a clone. And worse, you might be looking like the second runner up compared to her.
But guess what? Good news! No one will compare you with her! It's a conventi... (read in full...)
Are there any diseases I can give my girlfriend? We are both virgins
Q. Me and my girlfriend never had any sexual relationship before(or anything on the side). We were both 100% pure virgins. Now, my question is -- is it safe for me to perform oral sex on her? Are there any diseases I could get or even give her, wh...
A. 14 August 2014: I didn't know there was such a thing as a HPV test. Never had it, and I've been having regular check ups for STD's ever since I became sexually active. However, there might be such a test, I know the vaccine is just recent, so it could be possible I ... (read in full...)
How do I feel more comfortable with my penis size?
Q. This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lol One issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I fee...
A. 14 August 2014: Look, like you point out yourself, this is something you joke about between the lads. The ladies are happy. So the obvious answer is NOT to sleep with more women.. because you wont care what they say or believe them and will only think they are ... (read in full...)
How do I get over such a disapointing proposal? Why don't I feel so happy inside when he is the love of my life?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are together 1 year and 6 months. He proposed to me 3 days ago and it was very unexpected. He just texted me did I wanna go for a drive and I said ok. We went to the beach and I didnt want to get out as i looked like a mess ...
A. 14 August 2014: It sounds like you and him have financial problems, which has put a damper to your excitement. You were initially happy you say, but then you started thinking, analyzing, worrying.
Hold on to that first initial feeling. That is the correct ... (read in full...)
I've researched about STDs and how they are transmitted! Any advice?
Q. Ok, I don't want to catch any STDs so I've researched alot, but I want feedback from people with real experience: Fingering, Mutual Masturbation, Dry Humping with underwear on, and anything through clothing, no STDs can be transmitted right? Also...
A. 14 August 2014: Genital warts can easily get transmitted through fingering. You touch yourself, then him, then back, and thats all it takes. Herpes can be transmitted through oral sex. Best thing is to just get tested, really, and then you wont have to worry so ... (read in full...)
I found naked pics of my boyfriends ex girlfriend on his laptop!
Q. Ok I'm so embarrassed about this situation. Here's the story. Not too long ago I accidentally came across my boyfriend's pornography on his laptop. I swear it was an accident although some people may not believe me. Anyway, I don't care about that ...
A. 14 August 2014: Naked pics of the ex should be deleted. This speaks of his character. Never let him take naked pictures of you, never send him any, because now you know he keeps hanging on to them. And for what purpose? Well, to masturbate to them, of coursr. Or ... (read in full...)
If we have kids I don't want the grandfather in their lives
Q. So...my boyfriend and I got into a theoretical disagreement. First it began with him venting about his parents. and how his mom refuses to pay him money she owes and how his birth father is a piece of shit who showers his other kids. I grew up ...
A. 14 August 2014: Take it back and cross that bridge when/if you get there. You dont know his father, and your opinion is based on heresay. Your bf is not necessarily objective, you know. He might be a good man, but for all you know ge is adding on a lot of crap ... (read in full...)
I did not just expect him to pay for his share only! Is this a sign of cheapness?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a month and a half. This past weekend we went on a mini weekend trip with another couple. The other couple had bought all the food for the trip and paid for the accommodations and at the end they were going to let us ...
A. 14 August 2014: Different standards as we are from different countries, but.. Here we split it all evenly. I just went on a mini-vacation with my new bf. Hes got a good job and good salary, I am unemployed. I expect to pay my half, and dont see it as a sign of ... (read in full...)
We had sex and I didn't feel anything!
Q. Hello. I really cannot figure ouv what is the problem. I recently had sex ith a new partner. When we are having sex with a new person, we dont know the other person's body, we dont know what he likes etc. It takes time to learn how to please a ...
A. 13 August 2014: It's probably one of these three options or a combination of them:
a) he's got a small penis
b) you were too wet to feel him
c) the position isn't right for the angle of his penis in combination with the shape of your vagina
Solution: Next ... (read in full...)
I'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years...
Q. I am considering breaking up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I've known him since I started college. We were friends at first, but then began dating (After I asked him out). I knew from the very beginning that I wasn't the type of girl he ...
A. 7 August 2014: Sounds like you're not happy, and he isn't giving you what you want/need in a relationship. Instead of clinging on to something that isn't good enough for you, you should let him go. He'll never be a better boyfriend, and you will always wonder if ... (read in full...)
What kind of a relationship am I in?
Q. I was seeing this beautiful woman off and on for the last ten years. 8 months in 2005, 1 month in 2009, and 2 months just recently 2014. Everytime we have sex we never use condoms, and the relationship is always a secret. The reason why we ...
A. 7 August 2014: You describe it so well yourself, I don't know what you want us to say. You know what sort of relationship this was, you're the one who was in it.
You know why you had sex without condoms, I don't know what meaning you add to this. I don't kn... (read in full...)
My family won't support me because I didn't go to university!
Q. My family are stressing me out. I can never please them, no matter what I do. They are serioulsy struggling to accept the fact I didn't go to University. I really didn't want to go- it wasn't the route I wanted to take in life, it was what THEY...
A. 6 August 2014: You can't make them do anything. What they choose to feel is their choice. And you can choose whether you want to care, or rather ignore it. You can choose whether you will let this bother you any longer, or if you should stop thinking about it. ... (read in full...)
Advice for talking to my parents about being bisexual
Q. I am bisexual but dont know how to tell my parents. I dont have a clue what their veiws on the LGBT community are and cant find out because i CANT talk to them about love or relationships or that AT ALL so i dunno what 2 do cuz... yeh. Should i ...
A. 6 August 2014: Tell them the day you want to bring a girlfriend/boyfriend home to meet them. Until then, why bother? It's your sexuality and your business, not theirs. ... (read in full...)
I suffer from terrible adult acne and its really affecting my self-esteem.
Q. Hi Aunts. It his isn't a love question as such but it does relate to my low self esteem, . I have suffered with acne for ten plus years of my life. It's always had a huge impact on my confidence and I've often skipped going out or seeing people ...
A. 5 August 2014: PS. I first asked my doctor about this and all she could offer me was another acne cream that only works on light pimples. Doctors are different depending on what country you are in, as well as from doctor to doctor. But I went to a private ... (read in full...)
Why do men prefer it shaved?
Q. My question might sound simple but why do so many men seem to like shaved vulva as opposed to a natural hairy one ? I found that the man I am with says he finds it much sexier and several men have said this before . I prefer to go natural as I get ...
A. 5 August 2014: Uhm, I think it's just a coincidence. All the men I've talked to so far about this prefer it natural.
Personally, I like the feeling of being completely shaved once in a while, because I am much more sensitive then, and I don't have to worry ab... (read in full...)
Have I been over-thinking the issues surrounding bringing a dog into our new home?
Q. I really need some advice. This is something I'm getting all OCD about! For my entire life, I have always wanted a dog. My partner and I have a brand new home, we're yet to have children and it just seems like a good time to bring that speci...
A. 5 August 2014: I didnt say rescue dogs arent great dogs too. I said that they require an experienced owner. Training an adult dog is a lot harder than training a puppy. Especially if they were not diciplined by the previous owners/are traumatized. My mom got a ... (read in full...)
I suffer from terrible adult acne and its really affecting my self-esteem.
Q. Hi Aunts. It his isn't a love question as such but it does relate to my low self esteem, . I have suffered with acne for ten plus years of my life. It's always had a huge impact on my confidence and I've often skipped going out or seeing people ...
A. 5 August 2014: Go see a dermatologist. Acne creams are just fake crap, they dont work. If you have adult acne, you need to see a dermatologist to sort it out. Me and my best friend were put on Isotretinoin, and its worked miracles. Acne free for 4 years now! Its a ... (read in full...)
Have I been over-thinking the issues surrounding bringing a dog into our new home?
Q. I really need some advice. This is something I'm getting all OCD about! For my entire life, I have always wanted a dog. My partner and I have a brand new home, we're yet to have children and it just seems like a good time to bring that speci...
A. 5 August 2014: As youve never had a dog before I strongly advise you to get a puppy, and absolutely do not get a grown up dog from a shelter. You are inexperienced, and dogs with behavioural problems, or who have not learned dicipline from the start, need ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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