| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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We've been together for 7 years and everyone expects us to marry but I'm not sure if that's what I want
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for seven years, we were together in high school and for the last seven years we have had a distance relationship on and off due to me studying. now i am home for good I am starting to feel that i'm settling for whats ...
A. 6 March 2015: Oh, that's really impossible for us to answer. But I believe that the answer will come to you by itself. Whenever Ive been in those situations where I don't know what to do, I just sit and wait a little before I make a decision, and the answer just ... (read in full...)
My husband has let himself go, and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hello, My husband and I have been married for a little bit over two years. A year ago, he was diagnosed with a chronic disease. He is supposed to put it into remission a while ago. The problem is he doesn't take care of himself. It's true ...
A. 6 March 2015: I always go for the brutally honest approach. You can't tip toe around this, it is a serious problem in your marriage, and ignoring it will only make matters worse.
If he doesn't know he's gained weight, then you need to tell him. It's one thin... (read in full...)
He has too much baggage but I don't have the courage to break up with him!
Q. Well, I'm trying to put an end to my 6 month relationship but I'm having a bit of trouble. I can't quite figure out my feelings towards him. To briefly describe my relationship, I've always had second thoughts about us, but really wanted to try to m...
A. 6 March 2015: If he is a danger to himself, then you call his mother and the cops, and they will bring him to a doctor and have him placed in an institution with professionals who will take care of him. My ex was suicidal, and I brought him to the doctor and he ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I want to randomly hook up with an older man and lose my virginity?
Q. hi everyone this may be a weird question but is it weird that I want to lose my virginity to an older man? By older I mean around 40 to 50 years old. I don't really have an explanation as to why I like older men but I'm still a virgin at 23 I am the ...
A. 4 March 2015: Doesn't sound crazy to me at all. We all like different things, and considering all the different tastes out there, yours is rather ... I wouldn't want to say boring, but it definitely falls underneath "common fantasies/desires". It's a perfectly ... (read in full...)
How to avoid Date Rape?
Q. I've been seeking out nothing more than casual sex online and made this blatant on my dating profile. However, getting date raped as a result has become a fear. I'm afraid that, in the situation where I want to take things slow, postpone the act...
A. 4 March 2015: You can't really be safe, you know. That's the terrible thing about it. Most rapists knew their victim very well, and were often friends or even family before the rape. Statistically, NOT knowing the guy at all means you are less likely to get raped ... (read in full...)
Can anything really happen if you give up masturbating
Q. I know there's all kinds of mythical things people tell you will happen if you masturbate, but is there anything real that could happen if you don't? I gave it up for Lent and I would love to know....
A. 4 March 2015: What is Lent?
No, nothing happens if you give up masturbating, except you have no more orgasms... ... (read in full...)
My best friend has started dating a guy I liked and I feel like she is rubbing it in my face!
Q. My best friend for 13 years has started dating the guy I like. She only started to see him once she knew I liked him and when she's with him they both completely ignore me. She tells me everything that happens between them as if she's trying to rub ...
A. 2 March 2015: If she's doing it on purpose, then she's NOT your friend at all, let alone "best" friend.
But I don't think she does it on purpose. I think you both started liking him around the same time, or because you talked about him, her eyes were opened t... (read in full...)
My husband wants to name our first child after his father, and for him it is not negotiable!
Q. I am pregnant and I found out that my husband and I will be having a boy. I am not excited because my husband wants to name our son after his father's name. It is a Lebanese tradition that the eldest son of the family must name his future son's name ...
A. 28 February 2015: Sorry, you don't have most authority in naming your child. You could, however, have chosen to not get pregnant by a Lebanese man if you find their traditions so silly.
Oh well, now it's been done. My advice is to STOP this silly fight. It's a n... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...
A. 27 February 2015: Just because everyone else you know do things in a certain manner, doesn't mean it's something your boyfriend is entitled to! Don't you understand that? As an adult, you must know this. Just because other people choose, yes CHOOSE, to feed their ... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious about my daughter and son relationship.
Q. I have a son, who is 19 and a daughter, who is 17. I'm suspicious of their relationship. I went through some tough divorces and I've been away for a couple of years but I wanted a father for my children and they had family friends watching over them ...
A. 27 February 2015: I think you are making up ideas in your head because you are jealous. So because you arent invited in, you plant ideas that their relationship isnt healthy. I think thats disgusting, and if youre looking for a way to push your children further from ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...
A. 27 February 2015: I think the "problem" here is that he is not a child. He is over 18, and that classifies him as an adult. Or are the laws different? Correct me if I am wrong. By law, after you've reached adult age, your parents are no longer legally responsible for ... (read in full...)
We were dating exclusively... then I found out he slept with someone else?????
Q. I've been dating a guy for a few months now. We said both agreed that we are seeing each other exclusively (as i don't like rushing into relationships but also liked him enough to only be interested in him) But I've just found out he slept with ...
A. 26 February 2015: You had agreed to be exclusive? Then he cheated. Next!... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is set on renting a house with me, but I don't know if I can afford it!
Q. hi, i am 22 and my girlfried is 19, my girlfriend of 9 months is planning on getting a flat with me next year, wich i dont feel ready for, i pay 180 a month to live with my mum and dad and am on a decent wage , and she pays 100 a month to live with ...
A. 26 February 2015: Then tell her "Honey, I am so looking forward to move in with you, and the moment we find something within our budget we will jump at the opportunity".
Stop being so melodramatic. It sincerely sounds like you're just making up a lot of excuses.... (read in full...)
Sexually attracted to girl, emotionally attracted to guys. What do I do?
Q. Sexually, I'm more attracted to girls, but emotionally, I'm more attracted to guys. I'm so confused about what to do. Anyone got any advice or help?...
A. 26 February 2015: I am the same. I am attracted to women physically, more than I am to men. But I rarely fall in love with women (I've only ever had a crush), whilst I have wonderful and loving relationships with men.
What to do? Go with the flow and do what fee... (read in full...)
This could be my last chance at having a baby but everything is all wrong!
Q. I am 35 and my bf is 27. We have also only been together for 3mths. I discovered that I am pregnant. I have no kids and to be honest, at my age I had pretty much given up on the idea of it ever happening as I am prob too old now. I was on the ...
A. 26 February 2015: "The right thing to do" can be discussed. With morality in mind, the "right thing to do" is to take responsibility for your actions and not punish an unborn child. In other words, to give birth. And then, if it really impossible to keep it, give it ... (read in full...)
What sexual skills do men look for in a woman?
Q. Hello, all! You know how they say curiosity kills the cat? Well,I'm afraid I'm the cat in this situation. One of the recent topics on this forum really got me thinking:http://www.dearcupid.or...
A. 25 February 2015: If you want good casual sex you got to ditch the idea of one night stands. They're hardly ever good, and most wont do them unless drunk, and then the guy will have a wiskey-dick and trust me... it's something you do to scratch an itch, not something ... (read in full...)
What sexual skills do men look for in a woman?
Q. Hello, all! You know how they say curiosity kills the cat? Well,I'm afraid I'm the cat in this situation. One of the recent topics on this forum really got me thinking:http://www.dearcupid.or...
A. 25 February 2015: It's the same with a guy as with a woman. The "whole body" isn't an erogenous zone for either sex, but you can find just as many hot spots on a guy as you can on a girl. But they vary from person to person, so my best advice is to be adventurous and ... (read in full...)
I sent my BF a long sexual message and he replied in only one word. Should I be upset? Or aAm I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend is out of town on business. He has been in touch everyday. Says he misses me, thinks about me all the time. I emailed him a very sexually charged message today, quite lengthy, telling him what I want him to do to me in explicit deta...
A. 25 February 2015: Do you guys normally exchange such sexual messages? Does he normally reply with more? In that case, then Id understand the disappointment.
But, if the case is that you normally DON'T do these things, then you can't expect a raunchy reply. B... (read in full...)
What sexual skills do men look for in a woman?
Q. Hello, all! You know how they say curiosity kills the cat? Well,I'm afraid I'm the cat in this situation. One of the recent topics on this forum really got me thinking:http://www.dearcupid.or...
A. 24 February 2015: In my experience with men, if you can give a great blowjob then they're as happy as they can be. And vice versa, I could marry a guy I barely know if he was able to make me orgasm by going down on me.
Although, genuine interest in what you're d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend remains friends with a girl who froze me out. I am angry that he remains her friend
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and met most of his friends, co-workers and even his bosses. One of his closest friend had a new gf who I kinda grew close with. I confided in her when things werent good between me and boyfriend, ...
A. 24 February 2015: I think you are being irrational and controlling. You didn't like the way she behaved because you wanted her attention, you wanted her pity, you wanted her to answer your every text and "be there for you" as if she was your sister, and in the same ... (read in full...)
I havent had sex in 2 years . Will it hurt when I have it again?
Q. Dear cupid it been two years since I had sex with,and this is because my man is far away but he is coming by in three weeks time. I will like to know if it is going to be painful when we have sex again and is dere any possibility that I can become ...
A. 24 February 2015: No, it wont hurt as long as you are turned on. And yes, you can get pregnant every time you have sex, no matter if it's your first time, or if it's been several years since you last had sex. You can ALWAYS get pregnant when you have sex. ... (read in full...)
How do you know when it's the right time to move in with your partner?
Q. Recently my boyfriend has mentioned me moving in with him, he wants me to and when he mentioned it I didn't think 'no it's too soon' or 'wow you're moving too fast' however I've mentioned it to a couple of friends and these were there responses. "...
A. 24 February 2015: If you' feel fine about it, then do it.
Tell your friends to mind their own business. They're not friends of yours if they constantly undermine your decisions and tell you the things you want to do are a bad idea, as if THEY know what is best. Th... (read in full...)
A three way kiss? Do I tell my Bf? He tends to hurt me when he gets mad.
Q. Ok so basically I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 3 years. We are happy enough, don't really feel butterflies that much any more but we do love each other and he cares about me dearly as I do him. We have fun together and he is my bes...
A. 24 February 2015: When you cheat your boyfriend gets aggressive?
You do get why he becomes upset, I hope. If you're so "affectionate" when you get drunk that you cheat, and then your boyfriend gets so aggressive you are afraid of him, then really, honey, what are... (read in full...)
He has too much baggage but I don't have the courage to break up with him!
Q. Well, I'm trying to put an end to my 6 month relationship but I'm having a bit of trouble. I can't quite figure out my feelings towards him. To briefly describe my relationship, I've always had second thoughts about us, but really wanted to try to m...
A. 24 February 2015: You're having conflicting feelings, so no wonder you swing like a yo-yo when it comes to describing how you feel. You like him, on the one side, but on the other you don't think he's the right guy for you. So you like him, but you don't like him ... (read in full...)
They say my appearance is "exotic" I'd rather be ordinary
Q. So I'm 6'ft ,with very dark skin and slender Lately I've been given the title "exotic" by my friends and even by strangers I meet. I get told I'm beautiful and pretty and so on but every girl gets that. I never take these terms seriously becaus...
A. 24 February 2015: Exotic in this context is meant as a complement... As for "what guys like", you're not 14, and shouldn't be so concerned about the approval of "guys" in general. Men have differing tastes and opinions, just like women, and are not to be generalized. ... (read in full...)
Orgasm clarification please!
Q. I'm not sure if I've ever had an orgasm. Everything I read and everyone I talk to always says "you'll just know if you have one." I'm sick of hearing that because it doesn't help me at all. I'd like to know for sure if I'm having one. I'm genuinely ...
A. 21 February 2015: Even if you're sick and tired of hearing it. if you have to ask, then you HAVEN'T had an orgasm. You just got to believe this. You KNOW, definitely, without doubt, when you're orgasming. It's a VERY distinct feeling that does NOT happen any other ... (read in full...)
How small is small for a man's penis if the man is 5 foot and 11 inches and 195 pounds?
Q. Hello everyone sorry to be the umpteenth guy asking this question but how small is small when it comes to penis size? Im 23 and have had sex with over 20 girls but its always been in the back of my head that I'm unproprtional and small. My size is ...
A. 20 February 2015: The penis is not meant to be "proportional" to the size of the man. The penis tends to be average, no matter the overall size of the man. This means a huge guy will have a penis that might look smaller, compared to a tiny guy with a penis the exact ... (read in full...)
Why do men expect women to be shaved down below? Porn?
Q. I'm out of a twenty year marriage so the last time I dates was some years ago. Since being single again it seems most men now expect or want women to be shaved down below. What's going on? I don't remember this ever being a request or even a prefer...
A. 20 February 2015: I have only dated men who watch porn, how often I don't now, but I know they watch/watched porn. None of these men ever expected me to be shaved. Some found it odd that I occasionally did it. Some liked it when I occasionally did it. The only ... (read in full...)
I'm about to get married, and my fiancé has started to smoke weed- how do I deal?
Q. I began dating my now fiancé 7 years ago when we were 18. We both had very strong Catholic morals, including both being extremely against any form of smoking. Well, I found out he has lied to me for over a year and has started to smoke weed on ...
A. 19 February 2015: You should break off the engagement. This IS a big deal, whether your boufriend wants to or not. Lying and deceiving is a big deal, as is doing drugs. I dont know about the laws where you live, but weed is an illegal drug in many countries. So it is ... (read in full...)
Pills and periods?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to get some input or thoughts from any ladies. I have been on different birth control pills over the years. Since I have been on the pill, I never get my period. Do you find this as well on the pill or is this actually not nor...
A. 16 February 2015: No, this is not normal. Dont you take your monthly break as supposed to? I would ask a doctor about this. ... (read in full...)
I am a failure, with no ambition or plan .............
Q. I don't know how to be/live positively when I can't find/see any positive or redeeming features in myself. The only way I can encourage myself to do something is by bringing myself down and disparaging myself. for example I went to the gym and kept ...
A. 15 February 2015: Because it's all in your head. A good therapist/psychologist would help you manage your thought pattern and correct it. On your own, it is harder. But it is a thought pattern that you must change. It's not your intelligence, it's not your physical ... (read in full...)
I'm 31, alone, I spent almost two years trying to move on but my ex is happy in a new relationship.
Q. It's been 2 years after my ex broke up with me.I was desperate and decided to move overseas and started a new life. My ex who has been in a relationship with someone else for at least 1 and 1/2 years contacted me a couple of times after I left home, ...
A. 13 February 2015: Why doesn't he deserve to be happy? Was he cheating on you?
Why do you think you haven't been able to move on? When you say he doesn't deserve to be happy, you indicate that he did something bad towards you. If that is the case, then he should b... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is being made to chose between doing things with family and doing things with me.
Q. i need some help dealing with really difficult feelings i'm having in my relationship both myself and my girlfriend have physical medical conditions that prevent us from driving, so we depend on others for rides. her family is a very, very clo...
A. 12 February 2015: Every other weekend she goes with her family, and then with you. End of the problem. If that means she will sit alone on Sunday then so be it. You got to put some effort into your relationship as well, or else it dies. That's just life, as she put ... (read in full...)
Gift suggestions please to bring happiness to my girl. She loves painting fabric and canvas painting.
Q. My girl is into painting and she does a lot of cloth/canvas painting. I wanted to gift her something classy to help pursue her hobby. Any suggestions? I will have to send it through some online store serving the US as I am out of the country....
A. 11 February 2015: I say get her some good quality brushes. You can never have enough of those. I paint myself btw. Equipment such as brushes is something I could use more of, rather than paper/things to paint on. Simply because everyone else usually gift me that + ... (read in full...)
Should I have been tested for chlamydia?
Q. Hi all, I'd like some advice please. I am currently trying for a baby for a year and I have made an appointment with my OB gyne and my husband has already done a semen analysis, and we will find out the results at the appointment. Anyhow, I do a ...
A. 10 February 2015: Just get the test done, it's really such a small matter, and it will give you peace of mind. If you have chlamydia the real problem here is NOT where you got it from, but the fact that it can harm your fetus and cause defects. You can also become ... (read in full...)
Why are people so disapproving of age gap relationships?
Q. Never been in one myself but I can't understand why society is so disapproving of relationships with a big age gap. We can accept interracial couples, even same sex couples now, but not ones where a man and woman are two different ages?? There's n...
A. 10 February 2015: I believe the difference between "interracial" and "gender" relationships, versus "age gap" relationships is obvious.
But fine, I will answer. Yes, partly people are still anti-everything they're not used to seeing. But the negativity for most... (read in full...)
I've lost respect for my friend who's standards are, I find, different to mine. How should I respond to her revelations?
Q. okay this is my first question on here so we'll see how this goes. Okay, a night ago my friend was seeking advice on which guy she should date and how they were giving her mixed signals. (She trying to decide between one guy who is in it for sex but ...
A. 10 February 2015: Dont be her friend then, if you cant respect her because she is different from you.... (read in full...)
I am happy for my sister but very sad for me.
Q. Before I start, I'd just like to say that I'm very happy for my sister and this isn't about her in any way. It's about me. So on December 23rd just past, I ended my long term relationship because he just wouldn't commit to me. I'm now a month...
A. 8 February 2015: I totally get how you feel, and if your family doesn't get it too then they are morons. Doesn't take much empathy or intelligence to see why this is hard for you. But either way, if they get it or not, I think I have the solution for you to deal ... (read in full...)
OK, what about foreplay on men?
Q. This is a question mainly for the guys, and is something I've wondered about for ages. During foreplay, men have so many choices as to where to touch/kiss/lick a woman, there are so many erogenous zones.. instep of feet, thighs, waist and stomac...
A. 7 February 2015: Do exactly the same as you mention on women. Men like the same things, for most part. They LOVE to get teased and worked up, it makes their erection harder, makes them come faster and have stronger orgasms. ... (read in full...)
Is this a red flag and how do I deal with it? I don't want to become the "rebound" guy
Q. Hey everyone, I met a really nice girl about 2 weeks ago and we had our first date yesterday. She is the girl-next door type, sweet and cute. I have to say I really like her. She is also a very interesting person with quite some knowledge. We...
A. 6 February 2015: People move on in different speeds. Some might still be hung up over their ex after 3 years. Some only need 3 weeks and they are over the relationship.
It was a long distance one, and in those relationships you tend to often NOT be close, b... (read in full...)
Will it hurt with my new Bf? My ex was much smaller
Q. I had sex with my ex bf few times 4 years back, he is slim and had a below average penis, some time still hurt me, even having a lot of foreplay and use lube. I think may be I am have a small vagina. I am ready to have sex with my new bf soon, ...
A. 6 February 2015: I don't know how it will be, but I think the best thing is if you tell your new boyfriend about your concern. Do not mention your ex (men do not like to be compared to an ex, especially when it comes to the penis, no matter what). But you should say ... (read in full...)
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