A
female
age
30-35,
*bhdt
writes:So i have a question for the guys! If you have sex with someone and use the pull out method (i know not entirely sensible but sometimes it happens) is it normal to finish yourself off as it were?? This happened on a recent conquest of mine and being that i have only ever had sex twice and they were pretty simple and boring i have no confidence in what im doing and really need to know if this is normal or was something wrong?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2014): If you don't want to be a single mother, don't agree to the pullout method with anyone, and let the guy provide the condom like we used to do in our days. Honestly! what the world is coming to.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 November 2014):
 Yeah, its normal. But for heavens sakes dont be stupid and have unprotected sex, it offers absolutely no security, and is so not worth the risks. Pregnancy is one thing, another is your health and future at stake, should you get a STI. Get tested now! And buy condoms.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2014): Sweetheart, I'm not much older than you but so many things about your post made want to reach out and share a few life lessons. You say you've only had sex twice prior to the sexcapade in question and you found it 'pretty simple and boring.' This means that you didn't have sex with this conquest because you LOVE the PLEASURES of sex because you don't know them. Which brings me to the question, if sex as you've known it wasn't that great, why have sex ever again?It sounds like a daft question but in your case I'm not sure the answer is obvious. For most people it's because they have a good relationship with someone and sex is an extension of that relationship. Since you call him a conquest, I'm guessing you didn't have a caring, trusting relationship. I use the word. So this means, you didn't have sex with him because you love sex since sex as you know it isn't all that. It also means you didn't have sex with him as a way of showing your intimacy in your relationship. So here's my question again, why have sex with him?Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all against one night stands - having had quite a few myself. I'd say the key difference is that I'd had great sex already and I knew exactly what I liked. Now I just sound hypocritical right?In my case, I experienced sex within an intimate relationship to learn what I like and explore my sexuality with someone I cared about and who cared about me. I wouldn't have bothered with this whole 'lecture' but one sentence you said compelled me to respond. You said *****i have no confidence in what im doing and really ***For someone who feels the way you do, lacking confidence in what you're doing and not having had at least 'good' sex I'm not sure conquests are a great way for you to blossom sexually. There are some men who are happy to exploit your naivety by asking you to perform acts you're not comfortable with, telling you that's what 'normal' and 'great sex' is like. Not all men obviously. My worry is that when you haven't reached that level of confidence to assert yourself and establish your boundaries, you're opening yourself up for some unpleasant experiences. Going bareback as you've done with this guy is a classic case of you going along with condomless sex because you want good sex and are willing to take risks to have it. Also, when you refer to him as a conquest - men tend not to be fussy so I wouldn't be THAT proud. Especially when they're young. They're happy to get laid and then boast to their mates about how she really wanted it even if they don't think highly of you. Again, not all men do this. But there are a few who do. It only takes a few of men like this to knock your self esteem. Be wise about who share your body with.My advice is have fun, but be wise and look after yourself. Happy lovin :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2014): Go to your local GUM clinic, you can get free male or female condoms there, the female condoms can be inserted in advance if wanted.
And you can discuss birth control with them, there are many that you can use and forget about for months or years at a time such as the implant, coil or shot.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 November 2014):
 Ya know what they call folks who use the pull out method?
PARENTS.
Funny I have been having sex for 40 years and I have NEVER had to USE the pull out method. IT NEVER HAPPENED FOR ME.
but that aside.... if he is wise enough to pull out beyond the point of no return, then yes he would have to "finish himself" off unless you wanted to finish him with a blow job.
I suggest birth control for you and condoms for your partner since birth control only prevents pregnancy and condoms prevent death from AIDS.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2014): Please respect yourself more. You describe him as a conquest, so this isn't a guy you can trust - as in you're in a loving relationship and he loves and cares for you. He might have std's or HIV for all you know.It's fine for some people to have fwb or one night stands but PLEASE carry with you CONDOMS and DEMAND they are used and perhaps even take the pill. It's not just the guy who is responsible for having condoms, you need to take responsibility for your own health. A guy who is happy to put it in you and say, it'll be fine he'll pull out is saying that to other girls night after night...you and your body are worth more than that and you should question whether a guy like that even deserves you. If a guy is not willing to use a condom then walk away. As the previous post says, pregnancy is only one worry - HIV is prevalent, STD/STI's are more than common. Read up and educate yourself on how your life could be destroyed by these. Some infections will leave you unable to have children, imagine how hard it would be trying to start a serious relationship with someone if you've been given HIV. Please PLEASE look after yourself.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (19 November 2014):
 I think you need to educate yourself on protection.
The fact that you talk about a recent "conquest" suggests that this isn't a boyfriend or long term partner, but more a casual sex situation.
There is far more to worry about than just pregnancy - what about the STD's! And they can only be protected by using a condom. I think you are playing Russian roulette with your health.
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