| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Should I even bother with a man who still has his ex's photo on the wall 10 years after she has passed away?
Q. I went met this guy online. We talked for 9 months before making plans to meet in person. He was a very nice guy, but has an annoying side to him. He liked to win when we had our little spats. Anyway, we went on a couple of dates finally, and they...
A. 25 January 2016: He should "get over it"? Your level of ignorance and insensitivity is astonishing. Perhaps you have Asperger's syndrome, or are on the autism spectre elsewhere, because any other person would know that you do not tell a man who you barely know, or ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I want to date, be friends or FWB with her!
Q. How should I go about my attraction to my close friend? I am currently 21, and I have been friends with this girl since High school. We recently started to get closer to each other due to how often we see each other now, so my attraction for h...
A. 24 January 2016: I think this is just a case of Tarzan and Jane in the jungle. She's the only woman around who you're close with, hence you get this instinctual "need" to explore if you can hump her. You dont actually like her as a girlfriend, you're not in love, ... (read in full...)
Should I even bother with a man who still has his ex's photo on the wall 10 years after she has passed away?
Q. I went met this guy online. We talked for 9 months before making plans to meet in person. He was a very nice guy, but has an annoying side to him. He liked to win when we had our little spats. Anyway, we went on a couple of dates finally, and they...
A. 24 January 2016: You owe him an apology. You sound quite insensitive and like a jealous person. Really, you're jealous of his dead ex???... (read in full...)
He can't stay hard, says I'm too wet and yet he wants a threesome???
Q. Dear Cupid I'm dating a guy for about a month, we did hit off well and he was nice and everything. Fast forward we had tried to have sex a week back, he told me I'm too wet and when he was able to do it, he couldn't hold his erection, tried ...
A. 22 January 2016: Being wet is always a good thing, there's no such thing as "too wet". If it's really "too wet" by any means, you get a towel and problem solved. It's not something a man would lose his erection over. BUT a man who can't keep it up will almost always ... (read in full...)
I've come to absolutely detest my husband's mother and his family because of her behavior towards me
Q. I got married almost a year ago to a wonderful man. Trouble is, I’ve absolutely come to detest his mother and his family. I met my husband at my place of work; we had a fairy-tale romance and finally a dream wedding. When my husband used to t...
A. 22 January 2016: I don't think you should take this personally at all. I know that you do, and it's hard not to, but here's why she's doing it, I believe:
1. Her son was the one who "never" married. She got used to it, and he was all hers, for as long as he didn'... (read in full...)
Is my friend telling the truth? Is it possible for a man to not be able to fall in love?
Q. Before you read this, I wanted you all to know that I have no intention of doing anything with this man. I am looking to get advice from people who are kind enough to give it. I have lost guy friends due to them having feelings for me and so wh...
A. 22 January 2016: Attention seeking much? Here you complain how a FRIEND hasn't developed feelings for you yet, and you can't believe he hasn't? Why should he? He's a friend, but you seem insulted that he hasn't fallen for you. Almost as if you've been flirting with ... (read in full...)
How do I handle the wedding invite of a brother I haven't spoken to in 10 years?
Q. About ten years ago, I caught my brother stealing from me(about fifty dollars) so he could take his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) out on a date. He was a very selfish person. At that time, we live together at my parents house. Due to my ...
A. 20 January 2016: Sorry, wrote sister, meant brother. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle the wedding invite of a brother I haven't spoken to in 10 years?
Q. About ten years ago, I caught my brother stealing from me(about fifty dollars) so he could take his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) out on a date. He was a very selfish person. At that time, we live together at my parents house. Due to my ...
A. 20 January 2016: It's not inappropriate for you to go, you're not some old friend. You're family. Family status doesn't expire after x years of no contact. You're his sister until death. If you're invited, don't you think it's time to be civil again? No need to be ... (read in full...)
I got herpes from boyfriend while pregnant, turned into staph infection, I terminated the pregnanc and now he doesn't act the same towards me
Q. He was my first. I got pregnant.I was ecstatic.He had genital herpes all the time.He just never had an outbreak.so he didn't know.I caught it during the first trimester and had an outbreak all over my cervix.The doctor wrote it on paper that genital ...
A. 19 January 2016: You talk about forgiveness, but for what? If the doctor recommended you terminated the pregnancy then there was a good reason for this, and getting herpes and going on antibiotics and having an infection isn't something you wanted or went through ... (read in full...)
Should I be expected to do everything at the home because I don't work?
Q. So I live with my boyfriend in a small town, and since we are currently in a recession I don't have a job. I stay at home and make sure the animals are fed, cook meals, do laundry, ect. When he comes home supper is ready, we eat and he games out for ...
A. 19 January 2016: I think the main reason he doesn't help out is because he's a lazy ass who thinks he's still living with his mom.
Yes, he should do his part when it comes to the house, cleaning and cooking at the lot. Unless he's paid you to do it and you get ... (read in full...)
Will having a pet interfere with my dating life?
Q. Hi all, this is not a relationship question as such but any advice would be appreciated. I have been single for just over a year now and living on my own for around 6 months. I have absolutely always wanted a dog or a cat (or even a rabbit), ...
A. 16 January 2016: I don't agree with the view your "friends" have, that a woman should somehow put her life on pause and not do the things she wants IN CASE it interferes with what A MAN would prefer. You see yourself how silly that sounds, right? Not getting a pet ... (read in full...)
Anger management hell with father in law
Q. I need advice about my how to deal with my husband's family, in particular, his dad.. He is old school and I get the distinct feeling he has little respect for women. His current wife is number 3, who was a mistress he got pregnant and brought ...
A. 15 January 2016: If you need a release from the anger and hurt, I suggest you pray. Or remind yourself of karma, or that the universe is always in balance. Mean people have bad things happening to them. It will not be your revenge, but he will still get what's ... (read in full...)
Anger management hell with father in law
Q. I need advice about my how to deal with my husband's family, in particular, his dad.. He is old school and I get the distinct feeling he has little respect for women. His current wife is number 3, who was a mistress he got pregnant and brought ...
A. 15 January 2016: Oh, been there done that. My family is the same way. You got to leave these toxic people and don't look back. Don't bother waiting for an apology, and don't even waste your time thinking you can DEMAND one, lol. Are you nuts? Did you not experience ... (read in full...)
His ex was 9", I'm only 6"..should I worry?
Q. I've been speaking to this guy I fancy on and off since last year and I've really got it bad for him, his now split up with his ex and now has kept our chats to the minimum we have quite a bit in common aswell. I really like him but now I've been ...
A. 15 January 2016: .. Im sorry, but I don't get it. What would anyone need a 9 inch penis for? I mean, that's only restricting you. Are you a virgin? Because I don't think anyone who's actually had sex would think a larger penis is preferable. That's something only a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend treats me like a child
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 9 months, we met in the health club we work at (I'm a physical therapist, she's a yoga instructor). Things have been great, but their is one HUGE a problem, she's 10 years older than me (I'm 26,she's 36) and she ...
A. 14 January 2016: Oh sure, you want to be the child when it's beneficial to you, but it isn't so nice when you get asked to do a chore while playing games?
You want to be treated like an adult? Act like one. What are you doing letting her buy you clothes, like she... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend intend to send this email to another woman?
Q. I have a very big problem and it's been eating away at me for the past few hours but it's been ongoing. I know the fine people of DC will be able to provide me with the best possible advice and that is why I am here reaching out to you. My boyfri...
A. 12 January 2016: Woman. You need a chill pill. A double sent message does not indicate cheating. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship until you've worked through your issues?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is horrible with communication and plans
Q. I love my boyfriend, we have been together for 9 months and get along great, but sometimes I feel that he doesn’t respect my time and is flaky. Or maybe I’m just too inflexible and put too much weight on his idea of “plans”. This happens all the ...
A. 12 January 2016: Some people (especially immature and flaky ones) just happen to be like this. They don't do it to be cruel or play games, they're just irresponsible and spontaneous and don't understand the concept of making plans and then keeping them.
You'r... (read in full...)
Why would he say I'm cheating?
Q. my boyfriend is convinced that I'm cheating on him he says he can feel it when we're having sex. I have been faithful to him...what causes him to say this and what makes me wet down there? ...
A. 12 January 2016: I think your boyfriend is the one who is cheating. Because a cheater always thinks everyone else is also cheating, just because he himself is doing it. Therefor he has no trust in others, because he knows no one should trust him.
I think it's tim... (read in full...)
Why would a married man keep in touch with his mistress while on vacation with his wife?
Q. Why does a married man who is on vacation with his wife keep in constant touch with his mistress while he is away? And tells her he misses her and can't wait to be with her again?...
A. 12 January 2016: Why would a married man have a mistress in the first place? Well, because he's a cheater who wants to have a little something on the side. Not that hard to figure out why he messages his mistress then, he wants to make sure she'll spread her legs ... (read in full...)
Sleeping together didn't go very well ...
Q. Dear Cupid I am dating a person for past one month and we slept together yesterday. He is really not my type, but he was really sweet and I wanted to give this a try. Only when I slept with him realized, he might have erectile dysfunction ...
A. 11 January 2016: He's probably deeply embarrassed. This happens to men more often than you'd think. They get nervous, and can't get it up. As soon as they are relaxed and more at ease, the problem vanishes by itself. If you like him, I say give it another go and ... (read in full...)
Do all girls just want to play games when it comes to dating?
Q. I was having dinner with my guy friends last night, and we were sharing recent dating experiences. Two of us are in our early 30s and the other guy his late 30s. As we shared our stories, a common theme emerged - we were tired of people playing ...
A. 10 January 2016: I am a woman who doesn't like playing games. I don't like men who play games, and I don't have much respect for women who play games either. Unfortunately I have to agree with you though, it seems to me as well that most women play games. As a ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and want to spice things up with my boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I want to spice up our relationship, we have made out and kissed but nothing else. Any ideas what to do? ...
A. 8 January 2016: Yes, go on dates. Sounds like you are bored and just need to do something fun and interesting together. If you don't have money, be creative on activities. Example learn to cook a dish together that can be your signature dish. Or play a new game. ... (read in full...)
My father is always asking for money
Q. My dad has always been a borrower of money, from both me and everybody he knows. In my entire life I have only seen him have one job, lasting 6 months. And at his age, it's going to be hard for him to find work now. He has a wife. She works. Yet, ...
A. 6 January 2016: Your father probably suffers an illness or addiction which makes him incapable of holding down a job. My guess would be he is an alcoholic. Or addicted to gambling. A lot of money vanish incredibly fast with these two addictions, yet the side ... (read in full...)
I can't move on after being ripped off by my brother!
Q. Hello cupids, I have often read many columns here and advice of how loss is a part of life and I am well aware of that fact. When I graduated from university in 2013, I thought I had the plan of my life all set up. My parents are seperated(never ...
A. 6 January 2016: I think it would be healthy for you to accept that your brother can not ruin you financially. You gave him your money and you trusted him despite your better knowledge. You need to stop thinking you can give money to him and then be angry at him ... (read in full...)
I can't move on after being ripped off by my brother!
Q. Hello cupids, I have often read many columns here and advice of how loss is a part of life and I am well aware of that fact. When I graduated from university in 2013, I thought I had the plan of my life all set up. My parents are seperated(never ...
A. 6 January 2016: I think it would be healthy for you to accept that your brother can not ruin you financially. You gave him your money and you trusted him despite your better knowledge. You need to stop thinking you can give money to him and then be angry at him ... (read in full...)
I am feeling like a failure at sex with big butt women!
Q. My ex and I have been on and off for quite sometime. In the beginning of our relationship she was petite, and when we would have sex she would complain that she couldn't handle me because of my size (I'm not saying that I'm the biggest in the ...
A. 6 January 2016: The vagina doesn't change size just because the butt changes size. The size of the vagina has nothing to do with the size of the body. Just like a large man can have a small penis, and vice versa.... (read in full...)
I am worried I may leave my children motherless.
Q. I am 5 weeks pregnant - 35 years old - just found out. Bf who I have had 2 other kids by (2 boys) - this would be my 3rd kid with him - so making it 4 kids in total is not really reacting much to the news. He was shocked at first but is leaving it ...
A. 6 January 2016: Talk to your doctor now. That is what you need to do first of all.... (read in full...)
He says one thing but phone record says another
Q. I've been with this guy for just over 4 months now. He's very insecure due to his previous 3 year relationship. We didn't meet in good circumstances as I left my boyfriend for him. It's going really well and I love him so much. He tells me he l...
A. 5 January 2016: Well, this is what you get for snooping. It isn't nice of him to go on a dating site, but most people do not consider this cheating. It's just a site where they can have a sneak peek at other women, like being at the beach with sun glasses on. If ... (read in full...)
I am the one who is hurt and yet my girlfriend is making it all about her and I want her to stop!
Q. I have recently had a bad accident, where I tore my meniscus and strained my calf playing basketball. So the last 5 days I have been in the bed on heavy pain medicine. I told my sister to call my girlfriend and tell her what happened because I was ...
A. 5 January 2016: I dont think she understands what you're experiencing. Have you told her WHY you're not responding to texts? I find it odd that you couldn't call her yourself to tell her you were ill, I mean you weren't drugged down for days at a time, you were ... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be stepson is jealous when his father and I show affection towards one another
Q. Hi, I just recently became engaged to my boyfriend of two years. My boyfriend has a 5 year old son whom I have a great relationship with. His son has always been a little jealous of the affection his father and I show to each other, but latel...
A. 4 January 2016: I don't think you should waste your money on a child psychologist who will end up telling you little more than you already know. Yes, he has jealousy issues. Yes, you need to handle them. Here's how.
Be consistent and plug in some ear plugs if... (read in full...)
I have trust issues but my boyfriend won't fight for me!
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because of my anxiety and trust issue problems. It's all spiralled out of control.. We've been together for 2 years and lived together until this morning when he told me to pack my bags and leave! I have trust issues ...
A. 3 January 2016: Fighting for him is what you do when you fight your own problems and issues and OVER COME them. You haven't done this, you haven't dealt with your issues, so it is fair to say that it is you who haven't fought for him. He fought for you all the time ... (read in full...)
How do I just "grow a pair" and approach a girl who hasn't shown any interest in me?
Q. When going out, I often have girls giving me signals of interest. Then there are some really good looking ones that seem uninterested. I would love to ask out one of the latter ones. About three times I've been told by others that after I lef...
A. 3 January 2016: You approach. Guys are so intimidated by beautiful women you'd be surprised by how little attention they actually get. Whenever I dress up amazingly in a skirt or a dress, and go out, NO MEN dare talk to me. If I wear a t-shirt and jeans I get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me after I slapped him
Q. Hi again.. I'm had a huge argument with my boyfriend of 2 years last night.. We argued over how he's getting to the airport when he goes on holiday with his friends in March. I'm upset he's going away for one and secondly I wanted to take him to t...
A. 2 January 2016: I don't think he left or that the relationship is over because you slapped his arm. I think the big picture is that you and him argue too much and he doesn't want to continue.
I sucks, yes, but accept that this is his choice and respect it. He d... (read in full...)
I'm a manager and have fallen for one of our volunteers
Q. Feels weird for me to ask others for advice like this but guess I need some perspective, thanks in advance. I am a manager and work with volunteers. I have a dilemma and kind of need someone to bring me back to earth. I have strong feelings ...
A. 2 January 2016: If he is a volunteer then you are not his boss/employer. There's no reason why you and him can't be together, other than it would be awkward if it shouldn't work out. ... (read in full...)
When exactly is a good time to tell a guy you're a virgin??
Q. when exactly is a good time to tell a guy you're a virgin?? I'm a virgin and I have not even had oral sex. I honestly don't want to because I think the idea is really gross. I know a lot of girls who did it and they thought it was gross too an...
A. 2 January 2016: Oh screw "everyone" who keeps pulling you down. They only do that because they are jealous of you and you make them feel bad about themselves because they are little people who compare themselves with anyone and are scared of being in the company ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to touch him. How do I get over this?
Q. After 6 months together, my boyfriend and I have already had sex, but I'm still afraid to touch his penis. He gently pushes me to try doing it, but doesn't force me. He will tell me I can't hurt him and he doesn't expect me to know exactly how to do ...
A. 1 January 2016: You're just scared of doing it wrong, that's what I think. You have a good thing going with your boyfriend and you're afraid to ruin it, so doing anything new will make you feel uneasy. It's not always logical, but touching his penis is a very ... (read in full...)
Does it take two people to be in love?
Q. Quick question, can a person be in love, but the other person not, or does it take both to be in love,if only one, is she or he, just stupid, to fall for a person, who, doesn't feel the same way, or is it the person's heart, is at fault...
A. 1 January 2016: YES. A person can be in love without the other person returning the feelings. That is absolutely possible and I've both seen it, experienced it and talk about it several times. It's call unrequited love. ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon for a second date?
Q. So, just a quick "how would you guys have handled the situation" question: Went on a coffee date with a girl from out of town on Monday. We met online and this was our first time meeting. Hit it off, stayed there well beyond what we were planning...
A. 1 January 2016: Well, here's something to stick in the back of your mind: only children and childish adults play games. If you want to see her again, you ask to see her again. There's no such thing as "too soon" or "too late". You do what you feel like doing, and ... (read in full...)
I live in LA and she lives in Las Vegas. Can a LDR work?
Q. Do long distance relationships work? There's this girl that if I'm honest with myself I've been in love with since I met her two years ago. We've never been out of communication, even when we both had significant others. Those relationships ended ...
A. 1 January 2016: Yes, suggest this to her. A LDR can only work if it's temporary, and you have the end in sight.
My suggestion is that you make it even more concrete. Say that if after 6 months of being together, you will have a discussion of whether or not to m... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed by gift house and don't know what to do
Q. Please can i get some advice! What I'm about to write may seem like I'm being ungrateful but I'm not. My fiancé and I have been together 6 years and were currently looking to buy our 1st house together. We both have decent enough jobs...
A. 19 December 2015: I get it! You wanted to do this yourself, and they took the joy of owning your home home away from you. Or so it seems. And how can you be proud of this, when it's their achievement and not yours? It's an embarrassment, who wants to have their ... (read in full...)
I want to compete in a beauty contest, but speaking in public makes me anxious.Should I contest or move on?
Q. I didn't pull through to represent my country at the miss universe pageant. I didn't even make it through the auditions because I am a nervous wreck or was. I don't know, I have so much confidence as a person and I know back then in universi...
A. 19 December 2015: When in these situations you decide how you want to live your life, really. You can do things you dont enjoy, push yourself out of your comfort zone, make sacrifices, and perhaps succeed. Or you can do what you enjoy and have a happy life.
That'... (read in full...)
I'd like some tips on how to make our MFM amazing
Q. Me and my gf arranged theeesome with another guy our age, she can be naughty at times. Any advice? We have been together three years and a friend is going to join in. It really turns me on involving another guy. Any tips to make it amazing? I'm 25 ...
A. 18 December 2015: Set some ground rules of what's ok and what's off the table as far as sexual acts go. And all agree to walk away and stop things if one of you says stop. It's either all three are in, or it's not happening. This is all about respect.
I would al... (read in full...)
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