A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI'm dating a guy for about a month, we did hit off well and he was nice and everything. Fast forward we had tried to have sex a week back, he told me I'm too wet and when he was able to do it, he couldn't hold his erection, tried after sometime and this time we came off too quickly, again said I'm too wet.2 days back, we tried again, this time I didn't have condoms and he didn't bring any, so entire 1 hours he was making out like playing with my boobs (a lot actually) and didn't even finger me and but wanted me to give a hand job, I did try, again his erection subsided and he left. In course of that 1 he making out told me that he wants to have threesome, seriously what was he even thinking, couldn't satisfy even one women and he wants to try 2.I am planning not to continue with this guy, it's not just sex , these days he doesn't bother to call, when I do always hangs up in 5 mts and says he will call and never does.Question is, am I too wet is that why he was turned off, why after 1 hr of fooling around ( he is 40 yrs old) he didn't have even oral with me, is he turned off by me? What is this about three some? Please help me to understand, thanks for reading
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 January 2016):
 Being wet is always a good thing, there's no such thing as "too wet". If it's really "too wet" by any means, you get a towel and problem solved. It's not something a man would lose his erection over. BUT a man who can't keep it up will almost always blame it on something, or someone, else. Because he's ashamed and doesn't want to admit he just can't keep it up.
Yes, end it. One month and bad sex and scarcely any communication, I don't see why you should carry on. I mean, there's nothing in it for you, and he sounds like he's plain and simple bad in bed. I've had men not being able to keep it up because of nerves (first time with new guys, they can be nervous), but we'd do other stuff then and still enjoy ourselves and not blame one another....
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 January 2016):
 He as embarrassed he couldn't get it up so he blamed you. Very mature off him, NOT! Men can be very childish and also it can be very hurtful and make you feel like you are abnormal. Most men would love to see that you are wet and ready, please do not let this guy rock your confidence. You can do so much better.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 January 2016):
Honeypie is correct.
When men train their penis to be accustom to their hands, nothing else feels right, and they lose interest in the real thing.
Not to say some men do not have erection issues...But a lot of men today are over stimulated in the wrong way.
As for you being wet...Oh hell yes. Just having a woman tell me she is wet is like smoking Viagra.
He probably haven't felt some wet in years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2016): this guy is a dick wad. I had an ex who told me he didn't do foreplay because women expected him to do it for too long, it was just b*******, it meant a woman was too high maintenance and too needy and demanding and worst of all he said it made them too wet and that was just nasty. this man was also in his forties and he hated foreplay too because as he stated that we were not in junior high.some men are just plain selfish assholes. I absolutely agree it has to do with masturbation and porn because the same guy said my body was nasty because a real woman vagina what supposed to be nice and pink and she shouldn't have too much hair. he pointed out what he liked the best and surprise! it was all on p****. this guy will
have no luck with anyone
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (22 January 2016):
 It is hard to say what exactly was his problem but I can certainly give you some clues:
1) Guys in their 40's have a few more problems holding an erection (generally) then they did in their twenties.
2) Using a condom can affect a man's ability to maintain an erection, but if you were doing so, why would wetness be a factor?
3) He may have had a bit of stage fright -- you are still somewhat new to one another. Also, if drugs or alcohol were a factor, that could play a part.
Either way, my guess the reason why he isn't calling you back is because he is either embarrassed or he has come to the realization you don't have any sexual chemistry. Also, it sounds like he was simply a lazy lover.
My guess on the threesome is that he is hoping to fulfill his fantasy at your expense and at this point he figures your relationship isn't likely to go anywhere so why not go for broke.
Either way, he doesn't sound like what you are looking for and I would certainly chalk this one up to a major lack of chemistry between the two of you.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (22 January 2016):
 He has his own problem (such as erectile dysfunction) but tries to blame it on you. Being wet should be a turn on, not turn off. Wanting a threesome is what men say when they feel inadequate. So they try to deceive women into believing that they are the ones who are not exciting enough for them. Over extended foreplay is also a sign of erectile dysfunction.
Maybe he watched too much porn, or had been over stimulated by other sources that normal heterosexual sex does nothing for him anymore. When you are wet, you are also wide open. He might have been too used to the tight grip from his hand, from masturbation. All he's able to do is foreplay. No matter why you got so wet. If you go straight into sex he wouldn't last long anyways. So you would have nothing. At least blaming it on your wetness defuses the real issue.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 January 2016):
 My guess is he is WAY to used to his dry "tight" fist and doesn't seem to understand that...
1. a woman has no control over the wetness that is a thing the body does when aroused and READY for sex.
2. female wetness is 100% natural.
3. if having a towel nearby he can wipe away a little of the wetness - it can feel (supposedly) too slippery as in no grip/friction. And a guy is is VERY used to masturbating might not be able to keep it up. So it's SO much easier for him to blame your "wetness" instead of him having conditioned himself to a hand.
Maybe he needs to go back home to his blow up doll and have a 3 -some with it....
Don't take what he said as the "gospel". You being wet is an indication that you are aroused/ready, that is a frigging "bodily compliment" not a bad thing.
Ignore Mr. Ignorant... Amazing that he doesn't know this by now.....
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