| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Are we banned from this theatre?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were in the movie theater and i sat on his lap and we made out. However, an employee walked by and he said its okay to do that. But he had told the manager and so when the manager got us, he said we were having sex. We were ...
A. 18 March 2016: I think they will just have it in their notes at the database, so of your name pops up again they might give you a fine. But for now, sounds like you got off with a warning. But what do I know, you're of age so I do not see why they'd involve your ... (read in full...)
My friend slept with my FWB gal. Do I have the right to be upset?
Q. So I would like some opinions on this topic. This is an area I've never treaded into before and would like some perspectives. I've had a friends with benefits relationship for the past 5 months. We have a bit of a different style relationship than ...
A. 17 March 2016: No, you dont have the right to be angry, because you did not have the right in the first place to say who gets to sleep with whom. No one were in exclusive relationships and when you haven't gone exclusive it does not matter if your friend knew ... (read in full...)
How do we win her mother round?
Q. my girlfriend and I have gotten together recently, but we've had feelings for each other for a while. we're 16, and it's her first relationship, but we're both certain we have real feelings. my parents couldn't be more happy for us, and really like ...
A. 17 March 2016: Time. And you need to accept she may never like you, but that's just life. It's reality, not a movie. In real life, some parents never like their childrens partners, no matter what! So accept that she may never like you and dont care too much about ... (read in full...)
Would it be too forward if I got my crush's phone and put my number in it?
Q. i have a crush on this guy that works at my local coffee shop and I'm pretty sure that he like me too. every time i go in, he would give me compliments and ask about my day. for example yesterday he gave me a hug and told me i smelled really good ...
A. 17 March 2016: BTW, if he is actually interested in you, he will use whatever message you have on a t-shirt as a conversation starter. He just will. I've had guys come up to me to talk about my GLOVES of all things, just to have a conversation starter when they ... (read in full...)
Would it be too forward if I got my crush's phone and put my number in it?
Q. i have a crush on this guy that works at my local coffee shop and I'm pretty sure that he like me too. every time i go in, he would give me compliments and ask about my day. for example yesterday he gave me a hug and told me i smelled really good ...
A. 17 March 2016: Too straight forward, and in my experience, it scares guys. Most guys are really afraid if girls! If you let them have control, or at least let them believe they have control, then they are much more relaxed. At least wait with being straight ... (read in full...)
We can have a family - but only if he gets his dreams first. What to do?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost seven years. We got engaged a year ago but no plans on a wedding yet. Over the years we have talked about children - we discussed it very early on that it was something we both wanted. Over the last year or so ...
A. 16 March 2016: Btw I have lived abroad myself, in two different countries, and had plans to move another time aswell. But now Im thinking I might make the third trip later in life. My moves have always just been short, under a year long stays. A year would be a ... (read in full...)
We can have a family - but only if he gets his dreams first. What to do?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost seven years. We got engaged a year ago but no plans on a wedding yet. Over the years we have talked about children - we discussed it very early on that it was something we both wanted. Over the last year or so ...
A. 16 March 2016: The solution is easy, you're just complicating it with thinking too much. He wants to live overseas? Then why should YOU sell your house, leave your job etc. HE want to live abroad, not you, and the dream was not for you BOTH to live abroad. So, he ... (read in full...)
Can I learn to be a sexual 'sub'? The man I love is ending our relationship because he doesn't think so!
Q. My boyfriend just ended our relationship and I am devastated. He really was my best friend and in my whole life I have never met anyone on my wavelength like that. The reason, he said, he ended it is that he is into bdsm in a big way and is ...
A. 13 March 2016: ... The very identification of a sub is someone who is willing to anything to please the other. So how can he be talking about you not being a natural "sub" because you do it only to please him??!?! That is what submissives are supposed to do!!!
... (read in full...)
Love or Money? Which relationship would I be more happy in?
Q. I'm torn apart between 2 ridiculous factors: Love and money. At the same time, I'm torn between two guys that I'm currently dating in my life since the end of last year. (Not in an official relationship with any of them) They are both really...
A. 13 March 2016: Go for S. You are picturing marriage. In marriage, there are many other factors than love, and love actually matters little for a successful marriage. You need compatibility, and from your list I see you have much more in common with S. The only ... (read in full...)
He's not hit me. But could the other things he does be called abuse? what should I do?
Q. To be blunt and simple, when my year long boyfriend and i argue, he pushes me around. He'll grab me and squeeze my face, throw me down, he'll push me in front of almost anyone.. All throughout the year, he's never hit me though. He will punch...
A. 13 March 2016: Yes, this is abuse, physical abuse. He lays his hands on you, restricts your movement, is violent towards you. Violence is not only in punches or being slapped. Violence is also PUSHING, GRABBING, PULLING YOUR HAIR and other things you mention.
... (read in full...)
I can't stand my boyfriend's rommate!!
Q. Hi, I do need help. I have a boyfriend who lives with 2 singles guys. Sometimes I go and spend a night there or most the time he comes here to my place (i live alone). last week he invited me to come over, when i was in the closet searching for a ja...
A. 12 March 2016: Ehr.. these are the things you must expect when living with roommates and not having your private space. He can either buy a lock to his door and keep all his things there, or he can move out, but seeing as your boyfriend is not the one with the ... (read in full...)
Seven months dating and her dad is talking about how much say he will have in marriage
Q. My girlfriend's parents are painfully overbearing and it's caused serious stress with me, her, and this relationship. I've been going out with this girl for 7 months now, I'm 19, she's 18. For the entirety of the relationship it's been one roadblo...
A. 10 March 2016: BTW, Im not patient. So if I were you, I'd have ended up in a fight with her dad a long time ago and made her choose either me or her dads crazy routine, and most probably that would have landed me single, and happily so. ... (read in full...)
Seven months dating and her dad is talking about how much say he will have in marriage
Q. My girlfriend's parents are painfully overbearing and it's caused serious stress with me, her, and this relationship. I've been going out with this girl for 7 months now, I'm 19, she's 18. For the entirety of the relationship it's been one roadblo...
A. 10 March 2016: If you want my honest opinion, I will give it to you. She is 18, which in my eyes at least, makes her an adult. Now, I understand that in USA, at 18 you are still considered a child (still in school, still living with parents and needing parents to ... (read in full...)
I checked boyfriend's ipad and found very hurtful things he told a friend when we were having problems. How do I move on?
Q. Hello this may seem long but I need some advice, last august me and my boyfriend of just under a year had sex, the condom split, I went to the Drs and got the morning after pill which I was told is 99% effective, turns out it didnt work and I fell ...
A. 9 March 2016: First let me say that I understand how this feels. This is one of the reasons one should never snoop, because what is being said/written to others were never intended for YOU to know, and as such is NOT filtered to take your feelings into ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend cheated in a threesome but won't admit it
Q. I am pondering a situation that occurred with my girlfriend after had been living together for just over a year. The evidence points to the possibility of her having a threesome with her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend. It looks on th...
A. 9 March 2016: Okay, to be honest, and you should believe me on this.. the point is NOT whether she had a threesome or not. The point is that she has lied to you, been dishonest, there are things she wont tell you, and you do not trust her. All of these things are ... (read in full...)
Wife likes to go for walks in the middle of the night without telling me?
Q. Okay. So I've been married to this girl for about 3 years now. And we're both in our mid thirties. Her sister lives with us. Which is fine with me because they're extremely close and I personally think it's cute. Here's the thing though. My wife ...
A. 7 March 2016: BTW, I've acted in similar ways as this, which is what I am basing my answer on. In those cases it was because I felt my boyfriend was too clingy/needy and wouldn't leave me alone. The other acting out I'd do, if my movements were restricted and I ... (read in full...)
Wife likes to go for walks in the middle of the night without telling me?
Q. Okay. So I've been married to this girl for about 3 years now. And we're both in our mid thirties. Her sister lives with us. Which is fine with me because they're extremely close and I personally think it's cute. Here's the thing though. My wife ...
A. 7 March 2016: Oh yes, she can be kidnapped and burgled and raped and whatnot. She can have all those things happen to her in broad daylight as well. What's up with all this anxiety and overreacting? Someone has been watching too much TV, in my opinion. These ... (read in full...)
Is there a way to get over my anxiety about tattoos? My girlfriend has two!
Q. I have a problem with tattoos on women and don't know what it is, after a girlfriend got her second one I lost it and flipped out and my anxiety level goes up around her and everyone in her family has tattoos and that bothers me more, Is there an...
A. 6 March 2016: Yes, there is a way to get over it. First you must tell us though, why do you freak out at the sight of tattoos? What is it about them? What feelings do you experience?
Figure out the root of what you feel and why. Then you will find the solution... (read in full...)
Wife likes to go for walks in the middle of the night without telling me?
Q. Okay. So I've been married to this girl for about 3 years now. And we're both in our mid thirties. Her sister lives with us. Which is fine with me because they're extremely close and I personally think it's cute. Here's the thing though. My wife ...
A. 6 March 2016: How about you stop tracking your wife? She wants freedom, and based on what you write, I can see why. Why would she need to put her phone in flight mode to not get tracked? Who is tracking her? You? Since you say you physically DID track her (once, ... (read in full...)
Dating. How long should I wait for some kind of chemistry to develop?
Q. So I'm dating this guy, he's 30, and though we get along really well I'm not feeling the attraction. And I know attraction is overrated, but I notice myself thinking I hope he doesn't put his arm around me or kiss me goodnight, because I'm just not ...
A. 6 March 2016: Oh yeah, if you feel relieved by the thought of him with someone else, it really does say it all. You want him to be happy... with someone else. ... (read in full...)
People think I'm a lesbian!
Q. I'm straight and i am attracted to men, although everyone think that I'm a lesbian. I'm really stylish, and my style is a bit different and odd, i do wear makeup and my hair is very short . I enjoy whatever guys do enjoy, basically im a tomboy. Most ...
A. 4 March 2016: Its probably more that you are single and hanging around with boys. Majority of people are not friends with the opposite sex unless they are not sexually attracted to the opposite sex. So it's neither your style or hobbies, but the fact that you ... (read in full...)
My sister has sucked all the blood out of me and I don't know what to do!
Q. Dear all, I know this is not a love related question so maybe not relevant to most readers but I have serious family issues! My sister is sucking the blood out of me. All she ever did was ask, ask, ask. When she was a student, she did not want...
A. 4 March 2016: Kick her out or move away from her. Really. You need to stop enabling this. If you are tired of her, then why do you allow it to continue? You need to realize that you DO have the power to stop it, and you have the RIGHT to say no. ... (read in full...)
Is 4 months of dating too soon to ask her to marry me?
Q. I am in love with my girlfriend.. I can't imagine life without her. She is everything I could have ever asked for and more. We have only been dating 4 months but it seems like longer. We have known each other for 4 years. I know she is the girl for ...
A. 4 March 2016: I believe people will tell you to wait. Because, well, generally you're in love big time during the first 6 months of a relationship and have rose tinted glasses on and don't know what's up and down. But, I think you are old enough to KNOW yourself ... (read in full...)
How do women perceive a guy with a beer belly?
Q. Have a few questions about dating and wanted to get women’s perspective. But if any guys have input would appreciate your advice as well. Thanks in Advance. I'm a guy who is 24 years old and currently in Uni. I’m finding it difficult dating...
A. 4 March 2016: Ugh, no matter how we try to be perfect humans and not "shallow", there's no going around it: we are, every last one of us, shallow. Even you are, or else you wouldn't have been able to see your beer belly as a downside. Everyone are shallow and ... (read in full...)
My foreign girlfriend of 3 months is pregnant and I can't say that I love her and don't wish to marry. What should I do?
Q. I'm in a bit of a unique situation. I've been dating this girl for 3 months. I am 23 and she is 20 years old. I just found out she is 6 weeks pregnant with my child. She is from South America and is here with a student visa studying the Eng...
A. 3 March 2016: Option number three is what you should go for. But since you didn't even mention it, I doubt it's even crossed your mind...
3. You go with her to live with her family and that way she gets support AND you get to know her better before you propose ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 3 March 2016: We get frequent notifications each time you provide an update. Which is why Im still here and Denizen and everyone else who posted. No un-subscribe button.... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 2 March 2016: CindyCares, I believe when she says the dog is in the kennel all those hours, she means locked up in a cage. It borders on animal cruelty, but that is dependent on the number of hours of course. A dog should not be in the kennel for more than 6 ... (read in full...)
My husband won't let me go back to dancing at the strip club so I'm leaving him
Q. My situation is far from conventional and I'm prepared to get some hate. I met husband while dancing at a strip club in Las Vegas. We fell hard and fast for each other, got engaged quickly and married quickly. I moved to Texas to be with him and ...
A. 29 February 2016: You should never have to ask a man permission. Because you are not someones belonging or possession. You are a human being with the right to decide over your own body and self. If you want to go dancing, and this is your need, and you'd choose ... (read in full...)
Dating. How long should I wait for some kind of chemistry to develop?
Q. So I'm dating this guy, he's 30, and though we get along really well I'm not feeling the attraction. And I know attraction is overrated, but I notice myself thinking I hope he doesn't put his arm around me or kiss me goodnight, because I'm just not ...
A. 29 February 2016: Rejection part: keep it simple and don't lie. Tell him flat out you're not feeling the chemistry. It's a perfectly legit reason to not have further dates as it would go nowhere. He doesn't want to be wasting his time any more than you do.... (read in full...)
Dating. How long should I wait for some kind of chemistry to develop?
Q. So I'm dating this guy, he's 30, and though we get along really well I'm not feeling the attraction. And I know attraction is overrated, but I notice myself thinking I hope he doesn't put his arm around me or kiss me goodnight, because I'm just not ...
A. 29 February 2016: If you are repulsed by him, or absolutely do not want him physically near you, then I doubt the physical attraction will ever develop, or it will take too long. If you're just not feeling it yet, but find him handsome, then maybe give it a couple of ... (read in full...)
Dating a 37 year old guy. How can I tell him to use anti- wrinkle cream in a nice way?
Q. So my boyfriend is 37, happy guy and it takes much to irritate him. Though he doesn't look far older than his age, his face wrinkles a lot especially when he smiles. I can't change this fact but it might at least be lessened if he uses moisturi...
A. 29 February 2016: Anti-wrinkle cream will not work. Those are just to make people buy them, but they do not have any effect, it's just bogus. What you really need is sun screen. Too much sun wrinkles the skin. A good moisturizer might make it appear smoother as well, ... (read in full...)
Beautiful girlfriend makes me feel worthless
Q. I really need help. My girlfriend is threatening to break up with me and it seems all I do is not enough. Right now she's telling me she's broken up and that she doesn't want me. But come later that may change. It's the same yesterday. We agre...
A. 29 February 2016: Do you mind telling us, though, howcome you have messages from 2011 still on your phone? Did you save them because they were special to you? I don't know, but this entire story is missing something and I wonder what you're not telling us. The bit ... (read in full...)
My ex has taken a shine to one of my closest friends
Q. My ex-boyfriend (of 2 years) and i broke up and its been rocky ever since (and by rocky i mean absolutely awful, one second we'll be joking around and then next were screaming at each other), he's now trying to get with one of my closest friends of ...
A. 29 February 2016: You need to cut back on the contact you have with your ex. Every relationship, especially the dead ones, need their SPACE. Sounds like you have been in each others faces ever since the breakup, and this is bad for several reasons. The main reason ... (read in full...)
Beautiful girlfriend makes me feel worthless
Q. I really need help. My girlfriend is threatening to break up with me and it seems all I do is not enough. Right now she's telling me she's broken up and that she doesn't want me. But come later that may change. It's the same yesterday. We agre...
A. 29 February 2016: You sound rather shallow, is the only reason you "love" her and want to be with her that she is the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?
... Sorry to break it to you, but liking the way someone looks doesn't mean you should be in a relation... (read in full...)
Is this a break-up? Boyfriend and I haven't talked in 3 days after argument. Please help
Q. On Monday me and my boyfriend got into a fight over something small and now he hasn't said one word to me in 3 whole days ! I'm worried. I don't want it to be over I just wanna work it out . yesterday he called and let it ring 3 times and hung up ...
A. 26 February 2016: Call him.... (read in full...)
How can I successfully encourage my Bf to take better care of himself and improve his personal hygiene?
Q. I want my boyfriend to take better care of himself when it comes to hygiene and clothing. I don't think I'm asking for too much: I would like him to brush his teeth twice a day, I would like him to shower and wash his face once a day, I would lik...
A. 26 February 2016: You are not his mother. Your demands are unreasonable. As adults, you either take it or leave it. If he is not good enough for you, as he is, then you must end the relationship. ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 25 February 2016: I dont usually reply to anonymous posters, but just want to clarify that my post is not about me being a dog person, or having anything against children. I do, however, have plenty experience with manipulative people and call out BS when I see it. ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 25 February 2016: Who are you to compare a living being to some piece of furniture. If I wrote to you the same way you wrote to me I could say a heck of a lot more, but Im going to be a better person and just leave you to be with your divorce, and imagine that it's ... (read in full...)
Are his fantasies a sign he doesn't love me?
Q. I caught my boyfriend masturbating in the shower. I asked him if he thought about me then and he honestly answered no. It hurt me quite a bit because first of all I was home and I feel like he'd rather go fantasies about other girls than be with me. ...
A. 25 February 2016: What a mountain over an ant hill. No, this doesn't mean anything. It's not a "guy thing", it's a universal human thing. I hardly ever fantasize about my boyfriend, Ive not really used real life people at all in my fantasy. My theory is that 1. ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 25 February 2016: What Im left wondering is.... if you and him don't live together, how can he "pack up and leave" and howcome the dog is at your house and not his?
Or, is the matter more that the house is not YOURS, it is also your husbands? So the dog did NOT ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend isn't taking pride in his appearance and its turning me off
Q. Hi. I'm in a LDR of a year now. My guy is by nature a big framed man, who has struggled with his weight on and off from what he says. He talked about diets etc and gets fired up, buy never actually sticks to them, and recently having managed to lose ...
A. 24 February 2016: Sorry to say this, but you don't bring it up. You end the relationship. You're not sexually attracted to him, and you CAN NOT have a relationship with someone you don't find physically attractive. Because that's a friendship, and relationships need ... (read in full...)
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