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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: Ha, found it!
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#number... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: I think I read somewhere, or maybe it was just gossip on dearcupid, that the average number of sexual partners, worldwide, is 4.
... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: "A lot" is an unspecific term and can mean just about anything, depending on the viewpoint of each and every person. I have a friend who's only ever slept with 4 people, she thinks thats plentiful. I myself have to admit I stopped counting/stopped ... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: Yes, you can ask that everyone you sleep with get tested, but that isn't going to happen if you're looking for a one night stand. You'll need to get to know a person first, and agree on some sort of arrangement, exclusivity, otherwise there'd be no ... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: Depends on what you are scared of. If you're scared of pregnancy, don't worry, just wear condoms and you'll be fine. If you're scared of STI's, same answer as above, wear a condom and you'll be fine.
Really, you can't go around being scared o... (read in full...)
My mom and fiance hate each other
Q. It seems as if my fiancé and my mother hate eachother... My mom is a rather judgmental person rather she will accept it or not. If someone does not act how she wants or finds best she doesn't like them. Well before my fiancé and i even started ...
A. 18 July 2015: It's one thing to not be honest with your boyfriend, it's quite another to hurt him by telling him negative things other people say about him. You're NOT doing him any favors by saying this. If you care for him then why are you telling him ... (read in full...)
Am I being pressured into commitment by this guy?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for almost three months. He's in his early 30s. From the first time we went out he told me a bit about himself, he also mentioned to have been previously engaged. I am in my mid twenties and from that he said I should be ...
A. 17 July 2015: I think you're just not used to a man who actually WANTS to play house and settle down. There's nothing wrong in what he wants, he's not rushing you or pressuring you, he's merely being honest and up front about what he wants out of the ... (read in full...)
If a woman asks you what is your type is, is she interested in you?
Q. Back at it again! It sucks to be a man and trying to figure out women. With that being said, if a woman asks you what your type is, is she interested in you? After I told her my type she said well i guess i'm your type right? And i asked why ...
A. 17 July 2015: No one I know would say yes to a date with someone they didn't like. Sounds like you're just getting to know her though, so neither of you actually know if you truly like the other yet. You need to spend more time together to find that out. But it ... (read in full...)
If a woman asks you what is your type is, is she interested in you?
Q. Back at it again! It sucks to be a man and trying to figure out women. With that being said, if a woman asks you what your type is, is she interested in you? After I told her my type she said well i guess i'm your type right? And i asked why ...
A. 17 July 2015: Women are not a box of same minded people. We do not all think the same. It could be she was just chatting to make conversation. It could be she is interested in you. The only real way to find out if she's interested is to ask her out.
It wo... (read in full...)
How is it possible for him to feel aroused, when we were arguing and so angry at each other?
Q. We were in the middle of a heated argument and I noticed he had a hard-on. Later he disclosed that he was so hard he had wanted to rip off my clothes and have sex right then right there. How is it possible to feel that way when you are so angry at...
A. 17 July 2015: I will answer your question with another one: why should it not be possible to feel aroused when arguing? Just because you have never experienced it, doesn't mean it's weird if others do.
Yes, some people can experience arousal during argument... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex accused him of bodily harm and he was arrested. We are to get married in 5 weeks and now I'm scared!
Q. Please help because I am a little scared. I am due to be getting married in 5 weeks to a lovely lovely man who has 2 wonderful children who I adore. We have been together for 4 years and so so happy. However, after going through court to get...
A. 16 July 2015: Keep calm and carry on. That's what you do. No use in fretting or running around like a headless chicken. This will sort itself out. You just sit put and wait.... (read in full...)
Should I go to the funeral of a very dear friend even though I'll feel like an outsider?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, Recently I received the devasting news that a friend of mine has passed away and not only am I grieving for him but it has brought up a lot of sad feelings. I knew my friend for many years (16 years) and he was best frien...
A. 16 July 2015: Look, your ex's new girlfriend has not taken "your" place. The place by his side is not forever yours, and "your" place is right where you are now. You have your own place now, and it's not there by your ex's side. She's not taken your place, she's ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 15 July 2015: Don't over-think it. So her brother is a weirdo. You know you do not have to answer every question someone asks you. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I want to see my girlfriend naked? Should I ask her?
Q. I am 16 and curious to see my girlfriends body. I have been dreaming of seeing her in the nude. I really want to know what she looks like naked. She is so beautiful. I want to ask her, but I want to know. is this normal to ask? Would a girlfrien...
A. 15 July 2015: I think it's normal to ask, but it would probably be wise to be patient. If she wants to show her body to you, she will do it herself without you asking.
I do find this a bit odd though. Haven't you ever gone swimming with her? Seen her in a bat... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend both had a drunken kiss with other people. However, now he is ignoring me completely. How do I deal with his double standards?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. My boyfriend, a few months ago, made out with a girl for like a minute, and he told me about it and regretted it so much, and I ended up forgiving him. A couple weeks ago, I made out with a guy, ...
A. 14 July 2015: Ugh, don't be so self righteous. Just because he cheated doesn't give you some right to cheat on him. Just because you didn't give him hell over his cheating, doesn't mean you should get away with it either. He's not working with double standards! ... (read in full...)
I want my 18 year old girlfriend to be my first sexual partner. How can I tell her this?
Q. I am a 18 year old virgin. My girlfriend is 18. We are seniors in high school and have been dating for 9 months. We enjoy doing the boyfriend/ girlfriend things. We were talking about sex the other night and I told her i was a virgin. She ...
A. 9 July 2015: How long have you been together? Has she said she doesn't want to have sex with you? If not, then this will come naturally, no need for you to explicitly tell her so.
But, it would be wise to wait until you've been together for at least some wee... (read in full...)
My wedding day was wonderful and since then I've been crying. When can I feel better?
Q. I was wondering if what I'm feeling is normal... I got married almost 4 months ago. I'm not one who particularly enjoys weddings and hated the entire process of organising my own. I wanted an intimate party but as my husband has a big family...
A. 8 July 2015: Sounds to me, in my unprofessional opinion, that you're shit scared. You say so in your post too: I will never again have such a perfect day in my life.
You're shit scared the best part is over, you're convinced it is over, you think everythi... (read in full...)
What are my rights to the sex tape we made?
Q. Me and my ex-boyfriend made a sex tape when we were together but now we’ve split up I’m petrified he’ll post it online to humiliate me. I’m 23 and my ex is 24. We were together for 2 years and engaged at one point. But the relationship broke down a ...
A. 6 July 2015: It's not his property any more than it is yours. Furthermore, he has no right to show it or publish it without your consent. Although, I am unfamiliar with the laws in your country. In Norway it is illegal to publish pictures of someone without ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to keep some things in your past to yourself and not share them with your partner?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, Do you think its fair to keep some things in your past from to yourself and not share them with your partner? I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we are already talking long term. We have a really g...
A. 5 July 2015: You have the right to keep some things to yourself, but you should not lie. You worry your boyfriend will react badly, and you want to avoid this from happening. But you do not know how your boyfriend will react, and I believe you worry for nothing. ... (read in full...)
His behaviour is confusing me
Q. I went on a date with this guy about a month ago, he picked me up, took me to one of his favourite bars. The whole date, he seemed nervous, tapping and nodding his head quite fast. We talked about everything, from food to family and he asked me ...
A. 4 July 2015: I dont get it... Whats the question? If he hasnt contacted you for a date again, then after all this time with no contact, he isnt interested. And nekther are you, or you would have asked to meet up... What are you asking us about here? A guy whos ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I think I have herpes
Q. A couple of days ago, a cold sore appeared on my lip. After doing some research online, I found out that cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus. Believe it or not, I didn't know that until two days ago. I've never had any other ...
A. 3 July 2015: You need to see your doctor about this before you jump the gun. You're not a doctor, or a nurse, and even if you read things online you aren't really qualified to put a diagnose on yourself. The information you have gathered online is just enough to ... (read in full...)
After 8 months he still has not asked me out. Should I put up with an 80:20 friendship/crush?
Q. Ive been dealing with a guy for about 8 months and he still havent asked me out. Today i was frustrated and was wondering whats up so i told him i think i like him more than he likes me and he said i do like him more than he likes me and the perc...
A. 3 July 2015: I think, honestly, the way he responded means that he doesn't like you, but he likes the attention you give him. So he wants to keep the attention, but he will not date you. It's an ego thing. Humans looove attention and they feel flattered, and ... (read in full...)
I lost a lot of weight, but I'm quite scared of what might happen if my Bf and I do go to the water park area of the amusement park we will visit. How should I handle this?
Q. Hi I'm probably overthinking this and freaking out over nothing but I'm going to ask anyway. So I'm going to an amusement park with my boyfriend soon and both of us are excited, there's just one thing I'm scared about. I used to be severely obes...
A. 2 July 2015: Cant you just tell him you dont want to go to the water park area?
Maybe prepare by buying a new swimsuit. The ones who have skirts covering the top of your tight are popular these days.... (read in full...)
Am I nitpicking or are these various issues, such as her very bad breath, deal breakers in our relationship?
Q. Hiya Agony Aunts. There are a few things that nag at me about this girl I just started dating, and I'm not sure why. As y'all are likely older and more experienced than I am, I'd like your perspective. We started dating about 3 or 4 week...
A. 1 July 2015: When in doubt, dont buy. Something is turning you off this girl, and while you have tried to rationalize it into numbered issues, I think its an overall thing. These things did not concern you with others, pprobably because you got along better ... (read in full...)
Why does he appear to limit the opportunities for me to meet his friends, his mother and his family?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over two years and we have lived together for those two years. Our relationship is okay but could be a lot better. We have the same problem coming up . he doesn't take me around his mom, brother or friends....
A. 1 July 2015: What does he say when you ask him about it? Does he visit friends and family often himself, without bringing you along? If not, then its just not his thing. But if he visits family and friends often, without you, I will guess that either his ... (read in full...)
How do I end things gently after 3 dates?
Q. First date - coffee and dancing. Second date - drinks, dancing, and kissing. Third date - (impressive) dinner at her place, and couch make out session. How do I end things gently as soon as possible? I'm 32 and she's 33. While I had fun o...
A. 29 June 2015: Ugh, I feel you. It's awkward to stop dating someone. I'm not good at it either, but I usually just stop contacting the person. In most cases they get the hint. Although, you did send her a LOT of signals that you were interested in her, which makes ... (read in full...)
How do I let my husband know that he doesn't need to hide things from me? I'll always be there
Q. My husband of 15 years has been having some health issues lately. It all started suddenly. He was feeling tired and his energy levels were low. He went to see our GP and got home disappointed. Apparently she only gave him some basic blood tests and ...
A. 29 June 2015: I think you're tight when you say your husband is a hypochondriac. And I think he knows he is, as this is why he was embarrassed to show you he had done the tests behind your back. I don't think he was afraid you'd think he was cheating, and when ... (read in full...)
How to deal with sexually abusive wife?
Q. My wife of a decade will not respond to me sexually at all. She used to be very fit but now she has gained a lot of weight (from 100lbs to maybe 150 lbs). I still think she is sexy, but she says she hates her body. I can understand why she feels th...
A. 29 June 2015: First I have to tell you that you should not call this sexual abuse. The lack of sex is not sexual abuse. Her saying hurtful things and belittling you, that's bordering into abuse.
Now that we've got that clear, your problem at hand is that she... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to be in a FWB knowing its not going to lead to anything serious?
Q. So im fwb with a girl I know, been around 9 months now. We get along really well, have a great sex life but I have a few questions I hope you guys can help me with. 1. Do you think it's stupid to be fwb knowing that it's not leading to anyth...
A. 28 June 2015: 1. It's stupid if you're hoping it will turn to more. It's not stupid if a FWB situation is all you're looking for.
2. Take a few seconds to think about why you like this girl: because she's a dumb sheep, or because she's got a brain of her own?... (read in full...)
How can someone be so casually intimate?
Q. I'm seeing a girl at the moment on a casual basis, whenever were together she's very touchy feely, loves kissing and hugging me and falling asleep on me and all that kind of thing, but insists she doesn't want anythjng serious. I'm a little c...
A. 28 June 2015: Well apparently, you're being casually intimate yourself, so by all means you should answer your own question. The answer is probably somewhere up along the lines of: the sex is good.
So how can someone be casually intimate? Because they want sex... (read in full...)
Am I Too Fussy For Not Wanting To Date Guys Who Are Much More Successful?
Q. I'm in my early 20s, and now that I'm not in uni and have different social circles a lot of older (not massively, in their 30s) guys seem pretty interested in me. I like some of them for who they are/looks, but I always get turned off by the fact ...
A. 28 June 2015: I think its best to date someone equal to oneself. No matter what the difference, too much inequality will lead to friction in the relationship. Inequality can lead to lack of respect, shifted power-relations, arguments etc. Its always best to find ... (read in full...)
After sex: is it even normal to still cramping up for an extended time?.
Q. Okay im going to ask very bluntly about this. When I had sex with my finance and he layed me down an held my legs up while going in he kept hitting something that kinda felt uncomfortable like hurtish . After the sex I started getting cramps w...
A. 27 June 2015: When you're on your back and he holds up your legs, he thrusts deep. It's a position that allows for about as deep thrusts as you can get (depending on the shape of the penis). Often, if a man is a bit too long for you, it will hit too far back, ... (read in full...)
How to turn down dates?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 23 June 2015: They don't give up because guys do not get hints. That's why annoying guys wont ever leave you alone, and the guys you keep sending hints to because you like them, never approach you. Because guys do not get hints. They absolutely do not get it! No ... (read in full...)
Will I get pregnant if we cuddle and bath together? Is it Ok to do such things before marriage?
Q. My bf agreed not to have sex before marriage but told me he is interested in doing things with me like covering my breasts with cream and then licking it off by himself,cuddling and bathing together. Is it okay to do such things before marriage...
A. 21 June 2015: Like the others have said, in your situation I'd say no. You don't know if he will marry you or not, he might dump you after getting what he wanted out of you for free. I've heard these stories too, about young women who allow their boyfriends to ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend obese?
Q. I'm currently dating a 21 year old man who is 6 feet and two inches tall, and weight 123 kilograms. Is he obese? If he is, is there any problem in marrying this person?...
A. 21 June 2015: Have you not seen this man in person yet? He sounds overweight, I wouldn't know about obese.
Yes there are problems with marrying overweight or obese people. They are of generally poor health and may need medications that will cost money, t... (read in full...)
Should I go and face her directly and tell her my feelings? She never responded when I sent a love letter via Facebook
Q. Hello... I had sent a love letter to a girl whom i liked in my office, but she never responded to a love letter and it's been 4 months since i sent her a love letter. Should i go and face her directly and ask her? The Girl already left the office o...
A. 21 June 2015: You already got a reply: she doesn't want any contact with you. Accept this. Don't bother trying to meet her or pursue her. If she was interested, she would have contacted you back.
Next time though, do NOT send love letters. Talk to the woman fa... (read in full...)
Are there men out there willing to use condoms?
Q. I'm having a bit of an issue with birth control and I'm looking for some advice. I have tried so many types of birth control over the years: the injection; the implant and 4 different types of pill, and each of them have played havoc with my ...
A. 18 June 2015: There are men out there willing to use condoms. When people care about each other, this is a minor problem. If that guy dumped you over this, it just means he didnt care much for you. He was just using you for entertainment and fun. But not all men ... (read in full...)
Was that night a hookup or something more?
Q. So there's this guy that I have liked for a long time. I have been crushing on him for a month. Me and him are friends but we talked occasionally. When we see each other we talk so much and joke around. We were texting one day and he stopped ...
A. 18 June 2015: Hes still just a friend you occasionally talk to, it seems clear to me. If you want more then howcome you dont ask to meet him, I wonder?... (read in full...)
Who do men like about being in relationships?
Q. Why dont men admit they are with someone, when u really no they are, even when u ask them still wont admit Find it so confusing ...
A. 17 June 2015: I've never met a man who didn't admit to it. So my best guess is that these guys you talk about are cheaters. You've had some bad luck only meeting such lousy men. But I've never come across them, so I don't know what to tell you. Bad neighborhood? ... (read in full...)
The "Metrosexual" Guys I Find Physically Attractive Always Seem To Be Shallower Than I'd Hoped?
Q. I have a specific type in guys and I don't think this is wrong (geeky looking, glasses, skinny, short, well dressed, metrosexual ish). I tend to be very attracted to guys I see who look like that though they are quite rare where I live. However, ...
A. 17 June 2015: Oh, you like the hipsters... They are the popular ones. Of course they are shallow, they only dress that way to follow a trend.... (read in full...)
Should I dump him? Also he tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts !
Q. I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be aroun...
A. 17 June 2015: Do you like being treated this way? No? Then you should leave him. Because you can not change him. He'll just continue this act if you continue to stay with him. ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
