A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me because of my anxiety and trust issue problems. It's all spiralled out of control.. We've been together for 2 years and lived together until this morning when he told me to pack my bags and leave! I have trust issues from a past relationship and am quite self conscious! I understand I have issues I need to fix.. He knows my whole life story- why won't he fight for me? I've tried to talk to him but he won't listen, I've apologised and even said I'll get help with counselling. He is my soul mate and My best friend, I know I need to be strong but now he's said that its defiantly over and there's no way he will go back on his word will we ever get back together? Is there hope? He is a libra and always runs away from situations... What should I do to get the love of my life back? Should I keep fighting for him or let him go?
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male
reader, Nyc Martian  +, writes (4 January 2016):
Fight for you? If you're acting "crazy" then he's not going to fight for you.. He probably feels that you are unstable and men like to have a women that is somewhat stable emotionally..
A
female
reader, ellsie96  +, writes (3 January 2016):
 Personally I think if you're boyfriend couldn't be with you purely because of your anxiety and trust issues he would have ended the relationship way before when he has. 2 years is a long time and I think that if it was that much of a deal to him he would have given up on the relationship sooner.It sounds to me like he's using that as a bit of an excuse because he's lost interest in you/fallen out of love with you.Partners are meant to stick by each other in hard times and I don't think he has done this with you. If he is willing to throw it all away after 2 years then let him, you told him you would get help but that wasn't enough (hence why I think it goes further than him just saying he can't take your anxiety).If you have a bf/gf who is depressed, you don't say to them "oh I'm so sick and tired of you being sad all the time, we're breaking up" just the same as if you have a bf/gf with anxiety you shouldn't go "I'm tired of you being worried all the time it's so annoying, I'm done".He can't care about you as much as you care about him or he would continue in the relationship but really really really try to get you help.You should seek counselling but do it for yourself, not for him.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 January 2016):
 Fighting for him is what you do when you fight your own problems and issues and OVER COME them. You haven't done this, you haven't dealt with your issues, so it is fair to say that it is you who haven't fought for him. He fought for you all the time he stayed with you whilst you were not getting over your issues.
"I have trust issues" is the poorest excuse Ive ever heard for adults to not take responsibility for their feelings. You are IN CONTROL of your feelings, all the time. If you get jealous, suspicious, or what it is you're feeling because of "trust issues" then you decide to NOT feel that way and behave in the correct and adult manner. Failing to do so is just avoiding responsibility and not wanting to grow up.
When you were a child and you made a mistake and cried, someone would come and comfort you, even though the fault was entirely your own. You're still behaving this way. You failed to deal with your own problem, and it is your own fault, and you want someone else to comfort you and "fight for you". But that's not how it works in the adult world. Here there is no one to comfort you when you have made your mistakes. The only thing you get in the adult world, if you are lucky, is support when you decide to take responsibility for your actions.
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