A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:After 6 months together, my boyfriend and I have already had sex, but I'm still afraid to touch his penis. He gently pushes me to try doing it, but doesn't force me. He will tell me I can't hurt him and he doesn't expect me to know exactly how to do it. Is there something wrong with me? Or is it normal to be like this?Does he being a few years older than me have something to do with it? He's 22 and I'm 18. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2016): Could you touch him with the lights off? Maybe the first time or two like that would encourage you that it's not scary?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 January 2016):
 You're just scared of doing it wrong, that's what I think. You have a good thing going with your boyfriend and you're afraid to ruin it, so doing anything new will make you feel uneasy. It's not always logical, but touching his penis is a very intimate move, and even though you've had sex it doesn't mean touching him should be easy. In your head, touching him might be even more intimate, and thus a bigger step. I have the same thing with blowjobs, taking a penis into my mouth feels far more intimate than having intercourse. Different people have different obstacles. It's normal to be nervous, loads of men also get nervous and have problems with their erection because of being scared. Scared of rejection, scared they are not good enough etc. I don't find it odd at all that you're a bit scared and nervous. You haven't done it before! But, I do think it will pass by itself shortly. It will come naturally, and when it does just go with the flow. Until then there's no point in pressuring yourself. You'll get there and suddenly just grab him because you want to.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (31 December 2015):
 No nothing wrong with you love anything first time comes with a little apprehension. Your bf's correct unless you have an overly aggressive touch you wont hurt him.If anyone is going to be able to get you past this fear it will be with the guidance and understanding from the kind of guy that you seem to already have. By his actions and words he knows you are a bit inexperienced, my guess that for a lot of guys would be music to their ears in itself, so ask him to tell you what he likes and let him guide you how to do it. Sex between to people should be fun and an enjoyable learning experience for both if you get it a bit wrong no need to freak out just giggle it off and try again. Trust me sexual relations and all that goes with it, for most,a life long learning experience.
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