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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Should I dump him? Also he tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts !
Q. I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be aroun...
A. 17 June 2015: Do you like being treated this way? No? Then you should leave him. Because you can not change him. He'll just continue this act if you continue to stay with him. ... (read in full...)
Going to University in September. Will people think I'm strange if I'm wary of random hook-ups and the club scene?
Q. I will be going to University in September but I am really worried about the whole club scene. I am a pretty girl but I don't want people to come up to me and expect certain things. I will never have sex with anyone randomly and I have to be in a ...
A. 15 June 2015: If you don't want to do something, just say NO. It's allowed to say NO. It sounds like your club-life is extreme..at least to me. That sort of pressure isn't what Im used to when going clubbing. Sure I might get approached by some hopeful ones, but ... (read in full...)
Do good-looking people stay single for longer?
Q. Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway? I read this in an article a ...
A. 15 June 2015: I personally believe this is true. From my own experience. I consider myself beautiful (got loads of self confidence too, lol), yet get approached rarely. All my relationships have been initiated by me, I have been the one to pursue.
I know for... (read in full...)
I was clear that I would only move if we got married ...
Q. Hi, my name is rebecca, Age 40 and from the USA. last July i moved to Sweden to be with my bf, 38 who is from Sweden. I have been in sweden for 1 year now and sadly he hasnt asked me to marry him yet. It was something i was very very clear with ...
A. 15 June 2015: I think swedes can be like norwegians. They dont actively pursue a woman. And they rarely propose unless you already have kids together and spent 20 years together and it brings some form of financial benefit. They are just not romantics, but ... (read in full...)
I slapped him, he slapped me back, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend *lets call him Tyler) for 3 years. He proposed to me last month but since then we just seem to argue. He purposefully does and says thing to get reactions and when i snap he goes in a really childish ...
A. 14 June 2015: About the slapping: a woman slapping a man iss abusive. It is violence. It is not acceptable. You slapping him is just as bad as him slapping you. You had no right to do this. You may even call his slapping you back, as self defence. To prevent ... (read in full...)
How did we date for 2 years and not see that we weren't compatible?
Q. We broke up tonight because we're not compatible. Our views on things we deem important are not the same, we keep arguing about them over and over again, and just cannot and would not come to a compromise. He says I should forget his wrong doings, ...
A. 11 June 2015: It takes this much time because no one can know from the start how these differences will play out. YES, it was all there from the beginning, but that doesn't mean they were bound to become a problem. It all depends on how the two of you worked out ... (read in full...)
How do I stop having feelings for her?
Q. Dear Cupid I need advice...i am female 30years old and when i was around 19 years old i met a young girl 15 years old in high school...we clicked and have been friends ever since. She was in a lower class than me but some how we were attracted t...
A. 11 June 2015: I think what is best for you is to find a source of outlet. To get your feelings out. You can not have her, you will not give up hope, and you will not end the friendship. So you will be in this situation by choice for many more years to come. My ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was unappreciative of the meal I cooked and he never wants to spend time with my family. I wanted our relationship to work but now I'm having second thoughts!
Q. My boyfriend can just irritate me so much sometimes. I brought over all the ingredients to his house to make BLT's. Instead of thanking me and being appreciative he complained I got wheat bread. Then he freaked out that I was cooking the bacon in ...
A. 10 June 2015: Oh psssh, he just needs some training. I know this sounds bad, but I mean it: boyfriends need training just like with a dog. He needs to be taught how to behave. Bad behavior: you take away the toy. No more cooking. And just like with dogs, you need ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend never let's me finish when we make love. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. This is my first time every doing anything like this, because i can usually solve problems myself, so please bare with me. But, this is different for me. My question is Ive been seeing this girl for almost 2 years it's crazy how we met but she's...
A. 8 June 2015: "Unless the two of you discussed exactly that in advance, then yes, you have a right to a satisfying experience when the two of you decide to be intimate"
No one has any rights to another humans body. Her body, her rules. A boyfriend doesn't ... (read in full...)
Married three months and already I'm considering divorce. Can this marriage be saved?
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help me. I am considering divorcing my husband. We have only been married for three months. We lived together for 3.5 years before we got married. We finished college together, moved four times together, and now we are...
A. 8 June 2015: He needs to get his ass in therapy and learn how to control himself. This is abuse. Only thing that works is that he works on it! If he doesnt know how, then therapy is the way to go. Most effective. ... (read in full...)
Two weeks ago he blocked me. Is it too soon to collect my things from his place?
Q. Dear Cupid It's been 2 weeks since my boyfriend blocked me everywhere apart from Facebook. I guess I can't call him fb anymore right. And he didn't officially dump me, but blocking kind of told me what I need to know. He blocks me often and he u...
A. 8 June 2015: What an ass. Go get your things before he throws them out! A man luke him is capable of much idiocy and stupidity. Hell do more damage to you as long as you let him. Go get your things. Maybe even bring your dad to help you collect it.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he'll never feel ready for anything more than dating!
Q. The problem I'm having could be easily summed up as "I want to move in together but he doesen't". I don't know, I love that guy, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I'm afraid he'll never feel ready for anything more than dating. ...
A. 8 June 2015: If you stick with him its not gonna happen before you are 30... It might never happen. Because hes telling you he doesnt want to, and he doesnt.know if he will change his mind. Maybe he needs to meet the right woman, and you are not the one for him. ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend never let's me finish when we make love. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. This is my first time every doing anything like this, because i can usually solve problems myself, so please bare with me. But, this is different for me. My question is Ive been seeing this girl for almost 2 years it's crazy how we met but she's...
A. 7 June 2015: Uh, yeah, you probably are just that... too big for her. I know guys think big is better, but it's honestly not. We girls have been trying to tell you this, but no one believes us... You're too big for her and it hurts.
How long have you been hav... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I was shocked that my Bf made a video of himself masterbating?
Q. So I accidentally found a video on our lap top of my boyfriend masterbating. It really shocked me and made me upset. He says he made the video because he's curious about his body and he never sent the video to anyone. We've been together almost 2...
A. 7 June 2015: If it's the first time you come across something like this, then give him the benefit of the doubt. But if this is just one of many red flags, then I'd trust your gut. If you've caught him on dating sites, or seen e-mails or texts to other women ... (read in full...)
We messaged as friends after the breakup. So why the change in her tone, after so long?
Q. Hi guys Apologies in advance for this mammoth of an essay! I broke up with my girlfriend 2 years ago. It was a mutual thing (we realised we had different ambitions and priorities) and we managed to remain friends afterwards, even meeting...
A. 4 June 2015: Why can't exes talk to each other? Oh, they can, but generally talking "cutesy" and talking about the SEX you used to have, is crossing the line from friendship and into that gray area of "exes talking".
I understand why her boyfriend doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is the pill alone enough?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We live together, and we are very much in love. I am on the pill, and I'm very faithful about taking it every day. We haven't used condoms since about a month or two into our relationship, we have ...
A. 4 June 2015: I just want to add, since the OP strikes me as a nervous person, that while there are conditions that make the pill not dependable, these times you will be well aware of! If you throw up for example. Well then you've thrown up the pill as well and ... (read in full...)
Is the pill alone enough?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We live together, and we are very much in love. I am on the pill, and I'm very faithful about taking it every day. We haven't used condoms since about a month or two into our relationship, we have ...
A. 3 June 2015: ... Seriously, the pull out method is just about as safe as him coming inside you.
You're on the pill, which is as safe as you can be. Him pulling out or not makes absolutely no difference. It's just psychological, you're afraid because you can'... (read in full...)
How do I stop X, (B’s father) having sex with me?. Don't want B (my Bf) to find out
Q. I am a 34 year old woman and have been living with my boyfriend, C, since I divorced my husband fifteen years ago. Both C and I love having sex and we have at least twice a day. C's widowed father, X, 57 years old, lives with us. In January ...
A. 3 June 2015: End the affair and move out. You have already broken your relationship with your boyfriend. It is over, and you must face the consequence.
Or, play tough back. Tell him that his son will hate him if he finds out, and you will tell your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Can women realistically start a family past 30?
Q. I suppose the purpose of this question is to hear from women who have started a family after the age of 30. Those of you in the UK might have seen that a top fertility doctor has just said publicly that women who want kids should try before t...
A. 3 June 2015: "So one person, (BTW Chigirl the OP doesn't state that it was a man, it could have been a woman) makes a claim. So what? Doesn't mean we all have to listen.
MJF78, I did not mention in my post that I thought the doctor was either male or female, ... (read in full...)
Why would a man stay with a woman who subjects him to emotional/ psychological (mental) abuse?
Q. I have this male friend who is constantly getting mental abuse from his girlfriend for the past couple years they've been together. He has told me he tells his girlfriend how it makes him feel but she continues to do. I've told him to leave he...
A. 3 June 2015: I think he stays because good manipulators know how to make people stay. If the girlfriend is treating him bad, I am sure she is aware of her actions. He's even told her how it hurts. My guess is that her response to that is "I'll get better, I ... (read in full...)
Can women realistically start a family past 30?
Q. I suppose the purpose of this question is to hear from women who have started a family after the age of 30. Those of you in the UK might have seen that a top fertility doctor has just said publicly that women who want kids should try before t...
A. 2 June 2015: I despise such statements, because they completely leave out the most important part of family planning: that the woman CAN NOT GET PREGNANT ON HER OWN!!!!
"Women who want children should try before they are 30", oh BS. How are women supposed... (read in full...)
How can I create friendships with this guy, and other people, without causing grief with my partner?
Q. Im currently in a relationship, but I have very few friends. My closest girlfriend doesn't live close by and the male friends I did hang out with when i was single kind of drifted once I went into a relationship. Partly because they didn't approve ...
A. 1 June 2015: It sounds to me like the problem lies with your partner. He opposes friendships you have with other males. This is a classical trait of controlling men, they isolate you and don't want you to meet other men, even if it is platonic friendships. They ... (read in full...)
Is my sister's mental illness a reason for me to not have children?
Q. So, I'm at the age (early 30's) where my partner and I are thinking it's probably time we look at starting a family. But we're undecided as to what to do. I've always been a maternal person. I've always been excited about the idea of becoming a mu...
A. 1 June 2015: I think it's normal to be scared and worried about the future, health and safety of ones children. Showing such concerns and thinking about these possibilities before planning to have children just shows a level of awareness, care and ... (read in full...)
Can you think of examples where a woman initiated a relationship? I need some examples to demolish my long held view that this never happens.
Q. Because it seems, to me, that all boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are still initiated by the guy, where the man approaches the woman first, talks to her first and asked her out first, initiated everything or almost everything in the ...
A. 31 May 2015: I have been the initiator in all of my relationships. I wont bore you with listing up details of every time, but it's true. I've also initiated contact with men who I didn't enter a relationship. I have picked up men far more often than they have ... (read in full...)
Do men want kids as much as women? Can men have a strong desire for children?
Q. Is a man's desire to have kids as strong as a woman' s? Obviously this requires a bit of generalisation - there are plenty of women that don't want kids, and plenty of men that do - but are men generally a bit more ambivalent towards kids?...
A. 31 May 2015: I think men want children as much as women, but they're not put under the same pressure to have kids. Generally speaking, women are put under a lot of pressure from peers and family and society, to have kids. Like it's the only thing we're supposed ... (read in full...)
He says he's been vaccinated for hepatitis B as his father has hepatitis B. Are my fears justified that I could catch it too, in this situation?
Q. I've recently started seeing a man. We get along very well and I do hope to continue into something more serious with him. However when we were talking about our families he mentioned in passing his dad has hepatitis b and a weak liver. He said he ...
A. 31 May 2015: You need to do your own research. Yes, kissing is okay in most cases, lol, except if a person has oral herpes. But this is something you need to read up on yourself and get familiar with. It's your job to get educated on this topic.
Reaso... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? I am homeless, pregnant and I think the other women in the shelter do not like me
Q. Am a new immigrant. Came to live in the u.s with my sister 3 months ago but she kicked me out onto the street after facing the realities of a pregnant woman..i.e throwing up and bring generally slow and demotivated. She knew I was pregnant bef...
A. 31 May 2015: This is a passing time, this will not go on forever. Keep that in mind when it becomes hard, that this is a hardship that is only temporary. You will get away from these girls eventually, you will find people who care for you and who treat you with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is tiring me out by following a routine that does not suit a young mother. What can I do to get him to realise this?
Q. Hi everyone my problem is my boyfriend we have been together for nearly 3 year we have a 5 month old son together. He goes to work, finishes at 4 comes to mine at 6 for tea, goes home, and comes back when our son is asleep. By then I'm tired and go...
A. 30 May 2015: Not only do you feel like a single parent, you are in effect a single parent. Does he do any care taking at all??
How about you leave your son with his father for some time. Then you can go to work, visit for tea, and leave again. I think th... (read in full...)
He says he's been vaccinated for hepatitis B as his father has hepatitis B. Are my fears justified that I could catch it too, in this situation?
Q. I've recently started seeing a man. We get along very well and I do hope to continue into something more serious with him. However when we were talking about our families he mentioned in passing his dad has hepatitis b and a weak liver. He said he ...
A. 30 May 2015: Your fears are not justified. If he's vaccinated it means he doesn't have it, and wont get it.
However you are allowed to worry for your health and take necessary precautions. Get vaccinated yourself, for starters. Everyone should be vaccinat... (read in full...)
Why are women turned off by inexperienced men?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off ? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, and sadly ...
A. 30 May 2015: Who told you women are turned off by inexperienced men? It's false information. ... (read in full...)
I just want my own identity. What needs to change in our marriage?
Q. My husband and I have been having so many problems lately. Financially, sexually, and emotionally and I really don't know what to do. We've have 3 kids and I'm a stay at home mom. Whenever I'm upset, I like to vent to him so I don't explode ...
A. 28 May 2015: You don't need a baby sitter, you need a kinder garden. They're cheaper than baby sitters, more professional, and the entire purpose of them is to allow mothers to work. If they cost more than you'd bring in, there'd be no purpose to them. So screw ... (read in full...)
Is it not as easy, as it seems, to get pregnant for some people? Anything else that could help?
Q. My fiancé and I have been trying for a baby for 8 months now, in that time we've only conceived once but sadly that pregnancy ended in miscarriage a few months back. Recently we've been trying like rabbits to conceive again, in every position you ...
A. 27 May 2015: Getting pregnant is actually difficult. Yes, you read about accidental pregnancies all the time, but they are actually a lucky shot. Think about how many teenagers run around having unprotected sex, if becoming pregnant was easy there'd be nothing ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend and I fought and haven't spoken in a week. We are playing the waiting game but what should I do?
Q. I have been dating my gf for over 3 years now and she accompanied me to the hospital so I could update my hospital card. She said that the office to update my card closes at 4 but when we arrived she pointed out that they close at 3. I innocently ...
A. 26 May 2015: Obviously, the solution is to stop grabbing her arm in order to calm her down.
You can't make someone calm down, you can't force someone to act different. They either do out of their own free will, or they don't. So, either you accept her beha... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 10 years wants kids and I don't
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over ten years and everything is great - I love him and I know he loves me. But the problem is that he wants kids and I don't. We started dating when we were teenagers so it really wasn't an issue ...
A. 26 May 2015: I may be blunt, but Im right. Why sugar coat it? Kids or no kids is a big deal, and it's not something one can compromise on. If the two aren't in agreement, then there's really nothing else to do but end it. Harsh at that sounds, Im not telling her ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex's girlfriend that we made out and had oral sex?
Q. I was recently in my ex's hometown and we hung out even though he has a girlfriend. He called me as soon as I got to my hotel and we had drinks. Within two hours we were making out, and fooling around (oral sex, boob sucking, dirty talk) he wanted ...
A. 26 May 2015: Uhm, lady, that is sex. Sorry to inform you, but oral sex, boob sucking etc, that's all sex. What you refer to, I believe, is intercourse. You had sex, but not intercourse. And there's no such thing as serious cheating and non-serious cheating. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend and I fought and haven't spoken in a week. We are playing the waiting game but what should I do?
Q. I have been dating my gf for over 3 years now and she accompanied me to the hospital so I could update my hospital card. She said that the office to update my card closes at 4 but when we arrived she pointed out that they close at 3. I innocently ...
A. 26 May 2015: Here's the thing. You're either justifying your actions, or you admit they were wrong. You can not do both at the same time.
So when you say you were wrong to call her bubble head "but...", you are NOT sorry for doing it, but justifying it. When... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 10 years wants kids and I don't
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over ten years and everything is great - I love him and I know he loves me. But the problem is that he wants kids and I don't. We started dating when we were teenagers so it really wasn't an issue ...
A. 25 May 2015: You need to let him go. If you hold on to him you are depriving him of something important. Dont be selfish. Let him go.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend and I fought and haven't spoken in a week. We are playing the waiting game but what should I do?
Q. I have been dating my gf for over 3 years now and she accompanied me to the hospital so I could update my hospital card. She said that the office to update my card closes at 4 but when we arrived she pointed out that they close at 3. I innocently ...
A. 25 May 2015: And how do you feel about the way you treat her?... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my inlaws who show up unannounced every day and won't call first?
Q. I'd love some advice/opinions from anyone that has a tension-filled relationship with their inlaws. I really don't know whether I'm overreacting and over sensitive as I've been made to feel I am. My inlaws are eccentric types. They're the typ...
A. 25 May 2015: They're not visiting you, it seems, they are visiting their son. So that means, you don't have to go out and greet them, you can carry on with whatever you're doing or even excuse yourself. If they were visiting you they'd call you. Apparently they ... (read in full...)
He is immature doesn't want commitment and told me to find someone else. Do I just move on then?
Q. I'm a girl who is pretty and independent. I've come a long way to U.S to pursue my dreams.I never had a relationship as I was too much into a one sided relationship for 7 years hoping that one day it would turn into love which never happened. I ...
A. 25 May 2015: Let it go and move on with your life. You want to be with someone who WANTS to be with you. You will not be happy longing for a man who doesn't want you. He's telling you loud and clear, he does not want you. ... (read in full...)
What was my G/f (who I'm in a Long Distance Relationship with) doing at 4:00 AM and why is she evading my question?
Q. Hi there, I'm not sure how these things work so I'm just going to post the situation and hope for a response. My girlfriend attends the University in Liverpool and I'm home in Coventry, it's been like this for about a year now and the long distance...
A. 24 May 2015: Let it go. Really. Why on earth does it matter what she was doing up at 4am? She's a grown woman, she doesn't need your permission to stay up late. She asked how you knew because it's a weird question to be asking in the first place. And she ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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