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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Why does a married man who is on vacation with his wife keep in constant touch with his mistress while he is away? And tells her he misses her and can't wait to be with her again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2016): To manipulate the mistress in to believing she is special... so when he returns she is still ready and waiting (deluded).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016): Well, that goes for the mistress too.
She can also replace the married man for a new lover when he loses his shock value, novelty and naughtiness.
If they have a good relationship and good sex, it won't matter if someone else comes along. They aren't looking.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (12 January 2016):
to make sure that the mistress will still put out for him when he is back.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 January 2016):
 No I think he is keeping the mistress sweet. He choose to take his wife on vacation. He can have a happy life with his wife and then when he is home he can start having sex with the mistress again, keeping her sweet. I feel sorry for the wife here, she is the one being lied to. I also feel sorry for the mistress, as even though she is wrong sleeping with a married man, in the end she is going to get hurt and she will then know how it feels to be his wife he is betraying. His wife is the woman he keeps warm at night, who he looks after and takes on vacation, being the mistress, well then you will always be left at home alone. He will never leave his wife.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 January 2016):
 Of course wives are replaceable too; everybody is replaceable. Even Kings and Popes. Only, no, I don't think it happens more often than we'd think. There are a few studies on this subject, and more or less the stats calculate at 3% the number of married men who leave a wife to marry a mistress. So... it happens, but not terribly often.
Plus, sure, obviously some mistresses aren't easily replaceable- particularly if the man is just your average Joe and does not have something " special " ( looks, money, charm , social prestige.... ) to make him stand out in a crowd. But making sure your mistress sticks around because the guy suspects he would not be able to find a new one, does not strike me as the equivalent of love and deep feelings ( nor, as very flattering .
Also many men ( but women too... ) belong to the " if it ain't break it don't fix it... " school, because fixing things means making an effort. Often , if they stay in a long standing extramarital relationship, it has got nothing to do with love and passion, they stay with the mistress.... for the same reason they stay with the wife : because it's simpler and easier, less expensive, more convenient, drama free. .... until and unless something new shows up for which it's worthy giving a shake up to a Whole lifestyle and facing some "drama ".
So, from this point of view, no, time is not particularly on the mistress' side. The more the affair goes on, the more the mistress looses her " shock value " of transgression, change, freedom, novelty and naughtyness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016): Mistresses are not always replaceable. Especially if the affair has been ongoing for years. There would be an emotional attachment between the married man and the OW in such cases where longevity is a factor.
My guess is if he puts in the work to keep his mistress by keeping in touch etc., she is not so easily replaceable...
Wives are replaceable too. Some married men do leave their wives for a mistress. Not the majority but it happens more often than you would think.
And men can sometimes fall in love with their mistress and still never leave their wife. Love isn't always the reason they stay married.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016): Because he can. If the wife is asking this question, then the answer is because she knows he has a mistress and yet stays with him. And instead of asking herself, "why would a wife knowing her husband has a mistress, still be involved with this man?" She asks herself instead what compels him to continue to cheat on her.If the mistress is asking the question, then the answer is because she knows he has a wife and yet stays with him. And instead of asking herself, "why would a mistress knowing she is sharing this man with his wife, still be involved with this man?" She asks herself instead what compels him to continue to stay with the wife. If the two of you grew a backbone and finished with this man, than he would no longer have a wife to come home to or a mistress to cheat with. Problem solved. And the two of you could move on to solve much bigger, more meaningful questions in life.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 January 2016):
 My smart aleck response: Because he can.
The aunts and uncles have all in various ways touched on why he does it.
Truth is we need to look at why you are asking... what you are asking is "who is he lying to me or her?"
what you are asking is "does he love me"
And the painful answer is NO He does not love you. HE's on VACATION with his WIFE NOT with YOU.
He is where he wants to be texting you to hold on since he will be home to the same old boring routine in a week or two and he will want that spice back.
You are replaceable with a new mistress.. the wife is not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016): Is it not possible he really does care about his mistress and he really does miss her?
Some couples travel together as a hobby. That could be one of the only things they have in common.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016): My words are going to sound. I ask you to take a deep breath and brace yourself before reading it. It is the cold, harsh truth. Here goes:
It's hard enough keeping an affair going, especially with someone you are attracted to, and when you make a judgement call you are not going risk losing your mistress for a wife who won't let you go even if she knows what's going on.
If reading those words is less painful than the idea of learning your husband, stay with him.
I suggest you have a revengd affair. It will answer all the questions you ever had about cheating.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (12 January 2016):
 That's one of the ways that he keeps his mistress strung up in a meaningless relationship. He is vacationing with his wife, enjoying his life and finds time to send pointless messages so that the mistress can keep fantasizing that he actually cares for her, when in fact his actions show that he dies not. If you are the victim of these messages, I'd strongly suggest you go no contact and drop this cheater from your life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 January 2016):
 Why would a married man have a mistress in the first place? Well, because he's a cheater who wants to have a little something on the side. Not that hard to figure out why he messages his mistress then, he wants to make sure she'll spread her legs for him when he comes back home....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 January 2016):
 Promises are cheap, words are even cheaper.
Why wouldn't he text her? He has to make sure she doesn't start to think for herself, use some common decency or common sense and realize that she isn't the "half" of a loving couple... that she is there to rub his wittle ego and be available for a morally bankrupt man.
How DOES it feel to know that the guy you have decided to have an affair with is off on vacation with his wife? Who probably is absolutely oblivious to his deceit?
That makes you feel good?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016): Because he needs to keep her happy when he come back from vacation she is still available for free sex.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 January 2016):
 It's the same reason why married people cheat on their spouses in the first place. Because they are morally bankrupt, and the opportunity presents itself.
A married man's words are completely worthless. Doesn't matter if he's out on vacation or not. If the wife ever discovered the affair, this married man will spend every fiber of his being convincing his wife of the insignificance, the meaninglessness, and worthlessness of the woman he's cheating with. He would reduce her to "It was just sex, it didn't mean anything. I don't love her. She's nothing to me. She came on to me. I don't know what I was thinking. She just threw herself at me. I felt sorry for her. I don't even like her that much, not like I love you." and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 January 2016):
To divert the lover's attention from the undeniable fact that she is sitting home alone making do with some bulshitty texts, while he is in vacation with his wife next to him, talking to her, going out with her, spending money on her and having sex with her .
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (12 January 2016):
 Oh thats easy...he's a weasel
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 January 2016):
 Because some men are unbelievably flagrant a$$holes....
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