| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Do you think his response to the card I sent indicate that he is interested in me?
Q. Hello, I told a guy on his birthday like this:" that you special and that God created you and sent you as a gift to all who know you . On your birthday, I want to thank you that you have been able to change things in me that no one else could" ...
A. 13 April 2016: Forgot to add: if he liked you, he would have returned the gesture by saying you are special as well, and added something about his heart as well. It was right there in the open, as you have pretty much declared your love for him already in your ... (read in full...)
Do you think his response to the card I sent indicate that he is interested in me?
Q. Hello, I told a guy on his birthday like this:" that you special and that God created you and sent you as a gift to all who know you . On your birthday, I want to thank you that you have been able to change things in me that no one else could" ...
A. 13 April 2016: Nope, not interested, just appreciating the gesture. ... (read in full...)
What should I ask, when I speak to my Bf, about a stained black dress I found under my Bf's bed?
Q. I found a black dress with dried up white spots on the front under my boyfriend's bed. I do not live with my BF. I was in his apartment tidying it up for him. Now I wonder if he cheated? First I would like to know, does semen dry white when ...
A. 13 April 2016: Yupp, semen would look like that. I'm surprised you didn't know, have you not had sex with your boyfriend yet? Or maybe you are particularly tidy, since you also were cleaning your boyfriends room?
How long have you been seeing him? It could be... (read in full...)
I enjoy it more without climax - is this odd?
Q. Sex actually feels best when I don't cum? Am I normal? I'm a newbie to sex and have only been having it since last year. But I have done it a lot, and I honestly like sex when I don't orgasm the most. It just feels awesome, and I don't get spent or ...
A. 13 April 2016: .. Why the " of course Im not telling"???!?!?! Are you saying to lie every time you have sex? Stop it, immedeately! Good grief, you are ruining these men for other women, they will become so difficult to deal with and have sex with if they thi... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get Herpes by skin to skin contact?
Q. Is it possible to get Herpes by skin to skin contact. I only slept with one guy and he swears he tested negative. I have hugged other people but it was friendly hugs,nothing sexual. I am so confused because it was a full on outbreak for m...
A. 13 April 2016: The guy you slept with lied. Or, he probably never got tested because he, like so many guys, is shit scared of the doctor. ... (read in full...)
Ladies, how would you react to your boyfriend sending you flowers?
Q. Hi All Ive been dating quite a while now, things are good generally I do get her the occasional 'just because' gifts, her fave choccies, an engraved pen when she started a new job etc- nothing too overboard though. I would like to get h...
A. 13 April 2016: I think that depends a lot on where she works. If you're unsure, then you shouldn't do it. Send them to her home instead. Sending to her workplace means you could be running the risk of embarrassment and her being the talk of the office, in a ... (read in full...)
Should I marry him even though it would mean that I would be stuck in a life I would hate?
Q. Ive going to marry soon this year and im having dillema about my future. I think its normal to worry about my future life and im not telling or discussed this with anyone. Its making me depressed by the time pass and it keep worse. We have been t...
A. 13 April 2016: You do have the option of not getting married. At all. You can be happy, living in a nice house, by yourself. This is possible! Just because you are a woman, does not mean you need to have a man in your life, or to be married.
You could tell you... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a loveless marriage but I have a child and another on the way. What do I do?
Q. I apologise in advance. Married 8 years.. 4 yr old daughter and currently 27 weeks pregnant.. But it's a loveless emotionless marriage. I feel so lonely and neglected. But when I discuss with husband he gets defensive and puts blame back on me. He ...
A. 13 April 2016: Do you have the opportunity to move out, if only for a short period? Take some time apart? ... (read in full...)
Life is flying by, do I take a chance or wait?
Q. Hi i joined a dating site 2 week ago and saw a guy i know of and on rare nights out over the years we have spoken and said hi to each other ive always had a liking of him , its been 4 years since i last spoke to him. I messaged him on this dating ...
A. 12 April 2016: Wait for the message on the dating site. If he hasn't been on for 30 days, chances are he is already dating someone else. Wait until he's ready to come back to the dating site. Or else it will be weird if he messages you on facebook, then goes to ... (read in full...)
How can get a girl that I adore to forget about my past?
Q. How can get a girl that I adore to forget about my past ? From the time I was 18 I was in a band. Even though we were just a small town band we had our own little group of followers and got a good deal of attention. I was young and enjoy life. Ov...
A. 12 April 2016: You said yourself, you now see that sex holds a different meaning to so many. But, not to you. That is what this girl is trying to say, that your idea of sex is not the same as hers, and she does not think that you are a good match because of it. ... (read in full...)
If a guy has a wart on his penis, then is it genital warts ? And for how long can genital warts be dormant in a person?
Q. Hi all my boyfriend has a wart on his penis which he is not sure where it came from. We have been together for nearly 3 years and I know he has been completely faithful as am I. I don't have any warts or anything. My question is, For how lon...
A. 12 April 2016: Where does it say that the hpv-virus can live longer in a mans body than a woman? That sounds very odd. I've been googling this now without finding any reliable source that can state the dormant-time, or what time period after the break-out you can ... (read in full...)
Are they turned off by my virginity?
Q. I loved two different guys once upon a time... The first guy was into me, we had alot in common. We went on a couple dates and we discussed sex, marriage etc. When he found out I was a virgin tho , he said he couldnt be with me anymore.. The...
A. 12 April 2016: PS. trust me, if you are a virgin or not has nothing to do with them being idiots. It's not like they were ever serious, and it's not like they would have ever wanted a proper relationship even if you were not a virgin. A genuine man who cares about ... (read in full...)
Are they turned off by my virginity?
Q. I loved two different guys once upon a time... The first guy was into me, we had alot in common. We went on a couple dates and we discussed sex, marriage etc. When he found out I was a virgin tho , he said he couldnt be with me anymore.. The...
A. 12 April 2016: This is what all women face, not just you. It takes time to wed out the idiots before you get to a genuine guy. These two men were obviously only after sex. #2 is a real treat, how gracious of him to permit you to give him a blow job, as if you are ... (read in full...)
He says my vagina is too loose and that I'm cheating
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend since i was 16 im 23 now. Our sex life has always been good but now he has been saying im too loose and he thinks im cheating on him, which im not!! I have been feeling the difference also but im not sure why my vagina is ...
A. 11 April 2016: I agree with Cindy. A vagina doesn't just suddenly become loose, but a penis can become flaccid. Your boyfriend is older than you? I guess he has gotten to the point where he experiences problems maintaining an erection, and then he blames you for ... (read in full...)
My ex contacted me and then I found out he's living with a girl. Should I just tell him and cut all contact?
Q. Well this is kind of a mess of a story but about a week ago my ex boyfriend randomly contacted me through facebook and for the past few days we've been just catching up and chatting about old times, our family, etc. Nothing sexual or flirty ...
A. 11 April 2016: I think you should just tell him that you don't find contact with him appropriate since he has a new girlfriend already, and that you are not ready to be friends.
I guess he was looking for closure, needed to get some things off his chest. I... (read in full...)
How could people be so rude about my wedding?
Q. Hi, I don't know if I can post on here but I really need to vent and feel so upset. I got married in October and my husband and I were on a really tight budget, even though we had been saving for 2 years, making sacrifices and working every ext...
A. 11 April 2016: I have no idea why people are so rude. Maybe it's become a custom in your family to throw shit about each other behind their backs. Or maybe it was just your aunts that said this, and no one else agreed, but kept quiet?
Anyway, what you need to ... (read in full...)
If a guy has a wart on his penis, then is it genital warts ? And for how long can genital warts be dormant in a person?
Q. Hi all my boyfriend has a wart on his penis which he is not sure where it came from. We have been together for nearly 3 years and I know he has been completely faithful as am I. I don't have any warts or anything. My question is, For how lon...
A. 11 April 2016: Honeypie, what you have heard isn't true. It can only lie dormant for two years. If you haven't any any outbreaks in two years, you no longer have it. It does not stay there for decades and then appear again. That's herpes.
I know this because ... (read in full...)
He wants to move close to his baby mother! Am I overreacting?
Q. During a conversation with my boyfriend of 2 years, we were discussing areas of our city where we would like to live together. (We currently reside our parents) I told him that I wanted to live in a more central area where condos were being built ...
A. 10 April 2016: OP, you totally missed the point. I wasn't saying anyone cheated. I was saying this is how cheated partners act, like you do. They blame the other woman, instead of their partner who is the one at fault. You blame the ex girlfriend, the baby mommy, ... (read in full...)
He wants to move close to his baby mother! Am I overreacting?
Q. During a conversation with my boyfriend of 2 years, we were discussing areas of our city where we would like to live together. (We currently reside our parents) I told him that I wanted to live in a more central area where condos were being built ...
A. 10 April 2016: Oh God, you weren't really smart about what you told him. He has a son, you knew that before you entered a relationship with him. Saying (and meaning) the things you said sends a heavy, massive message that you do not value him, his son, and you do ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a small penis!
Q. My boyfriend is has a considerably small penis. When we have sex I'm unable to achieve an orgasm through penetration, only foreplay (oral, fingering) but I've never told him this in order not to hurt his feelings. We've been together for a little ...
A. 10 April 2016: He's a grown man. You need to communicate to him, in fact educate him, on female anatomy. We do not orgasm through intercourse. That's just fake porn stuff. Just tell him! No one likes to be banged like a drum during sex either, and orgasms do not ... (read in full...)
If a guy has a wart on his penis, then is it genital warts ? And for how long can genital warts be dormant in a person?
Q. Hi all my boyfriend has a wart on his penis which he is not sure where it came from. We have been together for nearly 3 years and I know he has been completely faithful as am I. I don't have any warts or anything. My question is, For how lon...
A. 10 April 2016: First, lets hear the doctor out and see if it's genital warts or not. If it's genital warts, it can stay dormant for two years. If there is no outbreak in two years, then you no longer have it. However, it could be you had genital warts, had sex ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a small penis!
Q. My boyfriend is has a considerably small penis. When we have sex I'm unable to achieve an orgasm through penetration, only foreplay (oral, fingering) but I've never told him this in order not to hurt his feelings. We've been together for a little ...
A. 10 April 2016: So you are one of the few women on earth who can achieve orgasm through penetration?
Or, are you one of the few women on earth who still havent realized that most women do NOT achieve orgasm through penetration, and thus thinks there is either s... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend should help me out with money for this vacation?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 2 years. We both want to go on vacation in a month or so (our first trip together). He makes about 4x the amount of money I make. So you can imagine that he is not concerned about money on vacation for ...
A. 10 April 2016: Look here, little miss golddigger. The rules are like this: If you expect a man to pay for you, then you are not nothing but an object that can be bought and a gold digger.
If you can't afford to go on this trip, and if it leaves you strapped... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend and turn down his proposal
Q. So my bf of almost 2 years recently proposed to me. It's not that I wasn't happy to know that he feels so strongly about me, it's just that there's a few things keeping me from saying yes. I've been 'engaged' once before when I was younger. I u...
A. 10 April 2016: Ah, I believe it ends up being just sex because you see each other so rarely. If I saw someone only once a week or maybe just twice, I'd probably be humping them too the little time we had together.
Why can't you see each other more often, a... (read in full...)
He promised he'd pay, and we really do need the money
Q. My best friends fiance was organising a surprise party for her 30th and he asked if me and my husband would be happy to have it at our house as theirs was too small to fit approximately 30 people. He assured is he would buy everything-snack...
A. 10 April 2016: He did take advantage, but only because you let him do so. At any point, you could have told him no. He brought over too little to drink, he hadn't confirmed with the catering, he planned poorly with desserts etc. HIS PROBLEM, NOT YOURS. I get that ... (read in full...)
What would be the easiest way to get rid of my feelings for her?
Q. I'm looking for the easiest way to get rid of feelings for someone. I'm in a very odd situation with a girl that I know. Basically we started out as fwb, it messed up when I wanted more but she said she wasn't ready for a relationship aft...
A. 9 April 2016: Dude, get a grip. Sleeping with other girls is NOT something you do for distraction, who ever gave you that idea?
What you need to do to get over this girl is to STOP SLEEPING WITH HER!!!! It's really not that difficult a question, and I think yo... (read in full...)
Shy or just interested
Q. I'm 27 and the guy I would like to be with is 29 (he also has a 4 year old child) but there's a twist. We work together and I've had a lot of ppl tell me that trying to date someone you work with is not a good idea. Yet we work on different floors ...
A. 9 April 2016: Look at your two options here.
1. He's not that interested in you. Then stop using your energy on him.
2. He likes you, but is lazy with contact. This will not change even if you were to enter a relationship. It would still be you doing all th... (read in full...)
30 years and she still wont listen to the truth!
Q. Just found out some one I like over thirty years ago been mad at me all this time, our last date she thought I put something in her drink, a drug, I didn't, she left me that night and went home with this other guy, who was trying to make me out the ...
A. 8 April 2016: Some people hold long grudges. She probably needs this lie in order to be happy. Let her have it. Her emotions do not affect you. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my pregnant girlfriend to understand my point about moving in with my parents?
Q. When I was 17 I got a girl pregnant. We weren't really dating just hooking up and she wanted to give baby up for adoption but I wanted to keep it. My family support me and when my son was born my gf signed over the baby to me and my parents have ...
A. 8 April 2016: You don't "get her" to see your point. You make your decision and then allow her to make hers. You stay put. That's your decision, and I support that decision fully. She can't force you to move. If she wants her own place so badly, then she can get ... (read in full...)
She never checked his social media or snooped around, now I want to expose him! What do you think of my plan?
Q. My best friend has been seeing someone for the past 3 years and was starting to fall for him. I did a bit of snooping on his social media and found that he's been with a girl for over a year now. My friend trusted this guy 100%, so she never ...
A. 8 April 2016: Normally I say back off, but in this case I say go for it. You don't know her, so it's not like you have anything to gain from telling or not telling her. So from the way my moral compass works, you can inform her for the sake of alerting her.
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend and I like different things in the bedroom? Do I stop liking anal? Or what?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 4 years now, since she was 17 and I was 18. We were both virgins (if that matters at all). We have amazing sex and often use toys, ties, etc. There is however one shameful problem with our sex lif...
A. 6 April 2016: Dude, just enjoy your fantasy alone with a porn. Your girl does not get pleasure out of it. You wouldnt like it if the roles were reversed. So realize its not gonna happen with her (and really, i have not met any girl who likes anal, so it will not ... (read in full...)
Should tell her that I am not gay?
Q. I am best friends with a girl I whom have known since I was 8 years old. The problem is that she thinks I am gay. Most people assume I am gay because I have never had a girlfriend, partly because I used to be really skinny and partly because I am ...
A. 5 April 2016: BTW, she is the one who has confessed her interest in you, wishing you were not gay and all. You're not ruining anything if you tell her you return those feelings.... (read in full...)
Should tell her that I am not gay?
Q. I am best friends with a girl I whom have known since I was 8 years old. The problem is that she thinks I am gay. Most people assume I am gay because I have never had a girlfriend, partly because I used to be really skinny and partly because I am ...
A. 5 April 2016: Oh man, this is why you're single! You destroy the possibility of a relationship before ever entering one. What the f... do you know about whether or not you are sexually compatible when you've never had sex with her?! Im saying this loud and clear ... (read in full...)
How do I cope when he goes away?
Q. Hello My husband an I are middle aged, he is in his early 60s and still works full time in a factory. Conditions are not good there but he wants to stay there until retirement. We have been on vacations to Cuba but I don't really enjoy it there m...
A. 5 April 2016: It sounds to me like you need to spend more time apart, really. You become this anxious and nervous and have all these feelings just because he goes away on vacation. It's not how it should be. You should be happy to not have to go, and he is able ... (read in full...)
The messages are turning sexual. When is it a good time to tell him I've never had sex?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now and everything seems to be great and going really well. We've been on a few dates that have also turned out well and we both are starting to enjoy each other's company. I'm really starting to ...
A. 5 April 2016: Yeah, the only reason a guy gets that sexual without there being a commitment first is because he doesn't want commitment. Especially if he answered rudely, just shows his true colours.
I don't see why you should be messaging him at all at this ... (read in full...)
I gave him an ultimatum, but am wondering if I’m being an idiot for giving him a last chance!
Q. Me and my current partner have been together for nearly a year now. i moved from manchester, fifty miles to be with him. we live together, our sex life is great, everything is going smoothly. we've discussed our future, kids, marriage etc. Howeve...
A. 5 April 2016: You're not an idiot (your friend is, however...).
But you still need to draw the line somewhere. He's not faithful to you (yes, going online messaging people for sex IS cheating). This is hard to repair, and it appears the cheating hasn't s... (read in full...)
His re-actions don't support his words that 'he can't wait to be married to me'. What should I do?
Q. When I go to my fiance's house and he's watching a movie he won't stop it to talk to me when I hug him he acts like he doesn't want to be touched. Is this normal for a guy? He tells me he can't wait to marry me but I feel unimportant to him....
A. 5 April 2016: ... I think he is honest. He wants to marry you, but marrying you is NOT the same as him wanting to hug you or pause the movie. If you marry him, he will not change, he will have the same behaviour as now!
You are doing a classic female thing, y... (read in full...)
Should tell her that I am not gay?
Q. I am best friends with a girl I whom have known since I was 8 years old. The problem is that she thinks I am gay. Most people assume I am gay because I have never had a girlfriend, partly because I used to be really skinny and partly because I am ...
A. 5 April 2016: PS. it can be difficult to talk about these things face to face. A good way to start off could be by writing her a text saying you've been thinking a lot about her wishing you were not gay, and that you have something you need to talk to her about. ... (read in full...)
Should tell her that I am not gay?
Q. I am best friends with a girl I whom have known since I was 8 years old. The problem is that she thinks I am gay. Most people assume I am gay because I have never had a girlfriend, partly because I used to be really skinny and partly because I am ...
A. 5 April 2016: Eh, your friend was just wishing for compliments back then, or she was actually interested in you and trying to see if you liked her back.
Here's a clue for why you don't get girls to go on dates with you: you probably don't ask them. And when... (read in full...)
So many decisions. I need help. Do I consider the guy who wants children or the guy who only wants one child?
Q. I'm 23 next month and my boyfriend is 22 next month, been together for two years this September. Issues - has only met my friends once, doesn't really show an interest in them but says they can come out camping....shows an interest in 4wdi...
A. 5 April 2016: You want this 28 year old so he can skip out on you after he knocks you up and not be on the birth certificate?
I think that's a major red flag. How reckless and irresponsible can you be if you don't even take responsibility for your own children... (read in full...)
My dad is having an affair! Will it last?
Q. My dad is having an affair with the tennant that lives in our house that we rent. She is literally the scum of the earth (this is not an opinion). She is possibly on job-seekers allowance, claiming benefits, she's never owned her own house ever, all ...
A. 5 April 2016: Oh yes, this is midlife crisis alright. ... (read in full...)
The messages are turning sexual. When is it a good time to tell him I've never had sex?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now and everything seems to be great and going really well. We've been on a few dates that have also turned out well and we both are starting to enjoy each other's company. I'm really starting to ...
A. 29 March 2016: When you are in an official relationship. ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
