| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I'd like some tips on how to make our MFM amazing
Q. Me and my gf arranged theeesome with another guy our age, she can be naughty at times. Any advice? We have been together three years and a friend is going to join in. It really turns me on involving another guy. Any tips to make it amazing? I'm 25 ...
A. 18 December 2015: Set some ground rules of what's ok and what's off the table as far as sexual acts go. And all agree to walk away and stop things if one of you says stop. It's either all three are in, or it's not happening. This is all about respect.
I would al... (read in full...)
I really felt we had a connection. But he blocked me. What can I do now?
Q. Hello guys basically a few weeks days ago I was contact by another guy I really felt a connection. He was jaw droppingly hot to we exchanged some photos none were saved as it was on snapchat and the photo is deleted after 10 seconds and will inf...
A. 18 December 2015: Uh, yeah, he doesnt want to talk to you! Duh! He blocked you, so who cares how bad YOU want to talk to him, HE does not want to talk to you! Respect that. Anything else is creepy and, yes, stalking.
What you do is you walk away and find somethin... (read in full...)
Does it seem odd that so many of my BF's exes cheated on him?
Q. My boyfriend had one wife and three girlfriends, all of whom cheated on him. He is hard to reach emotionally sometimes and I think he is guarded due to these past experiences. I have told him I am not them. I was thinking. Does it seem odd ...
A. 18 December 2015: Yes, it's odd, and to me that says a lot about his ability to pick out women. That he goes for the same type of woman over and over. You know how they say an abused woman is far more likely to end up in a new abusive relationship, than someone who ... (read in full...)
I have a feeling my girfriend might be cheating. Should I break up with her?
Q. I want to know if my girlfriend of six months is cheating or not. At first, she was all chatty and flirty and quite honestly, all over me. But then she would back off real quick and make some excuse to go home or cut off the date. When I asked if...
A. 16 December 2015: Red bumps and zits happen from shaving. If you're so dosgusted by that then you're not mature enough to have sex, and my guess is that she's not that into you presisely because of your immaturity. Who wants to have sex with a guy who gets disgusted ... (read in full...)
Does my date need to come out?
Q. A guy I'm dating got intimate ! I gave him a couple hickies at the drive thru and we kind of had sex. Well when he turned on the light he saw he had two hickies on his face, and he was upset. I said we can go to the store and I'll help you pick your ...
A. 16 December 2015: Over reacting here. A powder box says nothing about his sexuality. Stop stereotyping. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm so bad at sex that I should consult a sex therapist or sex coach! Is it worth it?
Q. Dear Cupid It's embarrassing to even say it but i completely suck when it comes to sex, I can't do anything. Had two long relationship, one with ex bf who didn't care much and we hardly had any and everytime I just lie down and he will do his job ...
A. 16 December 2015: Take tango lessons instead. It will be much more helpful for you than therapy. ... (read in full...)
What are the dangers or issues associated with not wearing underwear? Assuming there may be any dangers or issues.
Q. Hello everyone, I have an odd question. I recently have decided I want to stop wearing boxers. I don't enjoy wearing clothing to begin with, and I don't even see a reason as to wear underwear if I'm covered. I'm in high school, and I want to kn...
A. 15 December 2015: No risks except for zippers and possible smell as mentioned. Oh, and hope your wear nicely fitted jeans so they don't start dropping when you walk and everyone can see your ass crack.
May I suggest you try some other forms of underwear instead,... (read in full...)
Ex' is threatening suicide. How do I stop her bothering me?
Q. I came on here not too many days ago stating my ex girlfriend of five years had me feeling unsettled. I stated we have been broken up for at least six months. She constantly contacted me and I responded cordially. Perhaps a friendship could come of ...
A. 15 December 2015: Call the police and go NO CONTACT. Really, you ARE just trying to get her attention if you keep answering her, keep entertaining her. If you really are over her then why try to be friends after she's clearly not over you. Attention seeking. It's ... (read in full...)
I shared personal information. Now it'sall over the office
Q. The guy that I was engaged to 1997 gave me herpes.I was still young in my twenties. This change my whole life. He didn't tell me he had it. I was so hurt I cried. At some point I excepted this of course I couldn't change it anyway. Ten years late...
A. 14 December 2015: I know this wont solve the immediate problem (talk to your boss perhaps or change your job), but I feel you need to take pride in yourself.
It was not your fault that you got herpes. It is not something to be ashamed of. It does not mean you are ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me if my equipment is too small?
Q. I've recently become a little insecure about the dimensions of my penis. Due to various circumstances, I've never been in a committed relationship. Recently however, I had a fling with a female acquaintance who shared with me her very honest ...
A. 14 December 2015: First, that woman you were with should NEVER have said that. Now all the women you meet and date will have an impossible task of trying to convince your penis is fine. But I guess you nagged her into telling you? Because I can't otherwise understand ... (read in full...)
Was this a marriage proposal?
Q. I'm not sure if I got a marriage proposal last night or not. I know that sounds strange, let me explain. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing, no ring or anything. We were walking around our local park which is decorated in christmas lights i...
A. 13 December 2015: He meant, and I quote: once I get some stuff taking care of and get more financially stable would you marry me?
What's so hard to understand? I know you would rather he just proposed, but he didn't. He asked you to wait until he gets some stuff ta... (read in full...)
I want my house back! Relatives of my husband keep on visiting, and then they stay. Solutions please?
Q. My husband is originally from Spain but moved to the UK to be with me and he now has residency here and we are married and we bought a house together. What i'm finding really annoying is that members of his family (from Spain) keep coming over...
A. 13 December 2015: Stop cooking for them and cleaning after them then. You're the one who keeps doing this, of course everyone loves coming to a free hotel. You'd do the same if you visited them for a month and they did all the cook and clean and you could have a ... (read in full...)
I'm finding her persistent acne a turnoff
Q. I don't want this this to come off the wrong way, but I need some help. I love my fiancée and we have a great relationship. I'm physically attracted to her but I find myself turned off a lot because of her acne issues. She's dealt with rea...
A. 11 December 2015: Yes, I had to use double protection for the 8 months I was going on it. My dermatologist gave me good insight into his experience with treating patients with it, I felt I was well informed. But I guess there could be some doctors out there who are ... (read in full...)
Do breasts get bigger by being touched?
Q. hi....last time i went for a date with my boyfriend and while kissing he alys touches my brest and now i feels like my brest getting bigger so does the brest become bigger when touched?...
A. 11 December 2015: No. It does not become bigger by touch. But breasts often are not done growing at your age and will only finish growing around the age 20-25. Some experience a change in size when they start using birth control also, or if they have gained weight. ... (read in full...)
I'm finding her persistent acne a turnoff
Q. I don't want this this to come off the wrong way, but I need some help. I love my fiancée and we have a great relationship. I'm physically attracted to her but I find myself turned off a lot because of her acne issues. She's dealt with rea...
A. 11 December 2015: I don't mean to spam, but after reading some posts here I just want to say that I do not find you shallow at all, and nor should you think you are. We are all (yes, ALL of us) superficial in different degrees. You are not shallow, because you are ... (read in full...)
I'm finding her persistent acne a turnoff
Q. I don't want this this to come off the wrong way, but I need some help. I love my fiancée and we have a great relationship. I'm physically attracted to her but I find myself turned off a lot because of her acne issues. She's dealt with rea...
A. 11 December 2015: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotretinoin
... (read in full...)
I'm finding her persistent acne a turnoff
Q. I don't want this this to come off the wrong way, but I need some help. I love my fiancée and we have a great relationship. I'm physically attracted to her but I find myself turned off a lot because of her acne issues. She's dealt with rea...
A. 11 December 2015: Has she been to a dermatologist and tried isotretinoin?
That is the only thing that works for acne, but it DOES work. And the effect can last for years to a life time. I went through the treatment five years ago and my skin is still wonderfu... (read in full...)
Will it be a huge turnoff to girls to find out I'm a virgin?
Q. To begin things im just gonna say that im a virgin...well i had girlfriends before but im kind of the emotional attachment old school kind of guy so i dated a girl for 6 months and still didnt have sex. Even though i dated i always respected a girl ...
A. 10 December 2015: No, it's not embarrassing. I've honestly never met a woman who found this to be a negative, so I have no idea why so many guys think we care. It must be a urban legend between guys, because between us girls it's a non-topic. It interests us so ... (read in full...)
Troubled because I can't match his Christmas spend
Q. I would like to get advice on Xmas presents ie. buying for family when you live together. I live with my partner. Prior to this we lived separately. He moved from partner's into house he'd bought, and I moved in with him. I have grown-up kids. M...
A. 9 December 2015: No, you should get out and live with your family. Do not make up excuses. Call your family and inform them of the situation and ask for help for money for the fare and if you can live with them for a while.
As you did not address the violence... (read in full...)
Is there a time limit on falling in love? If so, does it come to a point where you may have to give up?
Q. Hi guys, I am going to try and keep this as minimal as I can. Me and my partner have both just turned 23, finished university last year and living with family. Now, we have been dating since June 2014, known each other for 23 months. We st...
A. 9 December 2015: No, I don't think it's "obvious" why you're not in love yet. It's NOT like people only fall in love if a b and c plays out perfectly. Ever heard of unrequited love? Yes, that's those people who are crazily in love with a person who might not even ... (read in full...)
What can I do? Should I meet a man who can only tolerate my much loved resucue dog?
Q. I was really looking forward to meeting a man I have have been talking online to. This morning he dropped the bombshell he would only ever"tolerate" a dog and his argument is he thinks its cruel to keep them as pets anyway. I am quite hurt as my do...
A. 9 December 2015: This man obviously hasn't ever kept a dog. He doesn't know what he's on about, do NOT take his comment to heart. Hes not talking about you or that he thinks you are evil or that your dog should be.. I dunno, put down, because you can't exactly "set ... (read in full...)
My husband said I'm not as tight down there as the other girls he's been with
Q. I recently got married and it's my first time losing my virginity to my guy , we have had sex a couple of times and his complaining about that I'm loose down there and he doesn't enjoy sex with me he said his been with other girls before me and it ...
A. 8 December 2015: Thank you for following up. I stand firm by my advice. Your husband being defensive and even calling your gynecologist a liar (saying she is full of bullshit) and then getting angry with you for believing in your gynecologist... It all tells me HE ... (read in full...)
How can I forget I kissed another woman at my wedding
Q. My husband and I had an amazing ceremony and reception, but at the after party we both got extremely drunk. A song started playing about kissing a girl, and I shouted "I can't believe I'm married now I've never kissed a girl!" or something like ...
A. 8 December 2015: Eh, it happens. We all do stupid things we regret. It's part of life. Don't let this one thing overshadow all the great memories of that day. This was like... what, a minute of the entire day. Setting up high and unrealistic expectations about ... (read in full...)
I want to be at a dating point where women are in abundance
Q. After a night out, I realized some things about my future with women. We went out for a close friends birthday and had dinner with 20+ friends. Then we went to a club/bar in the city where much of our med school was there. I had fun dancing with my ...
A. 8 December 2015: "I was just insulted that my lack in ability to get with women made her think I'm gay."
How can your lack of ability to get with women make her think you are gay? It's not written on your forehead, there's no way anyone would think you are gay ... (read in full...)
I found a stash of condoms, but we don't use them.
Q. This morning while my boyfriend was at work, I decided to stop by and drop off the clothes I had bought for him while I was shopping yesterday. Realizing that this was the only time I had been in his house by myself, I decided to do a little s...
A. 8 December 2015: You're a drama queen. Big time.
First you snoop around as if you have some right to, and then you want to drive up and publicly humiliate him... For what? You feeling insecure?
Oh, honey, you are an insecure person. That's why you're snooping ... (read in full...)
My husband said I'm not as tight down there as the other girls he's been with
Q. I recently got married and it's my first time losing my virginity to my guy , we have had sex a couple of times and his complaining about that I'm loose down there and he doesn't enjoy sex with me he said his been with other girls before me and it ...
A. 8 December 2015: Your vagina is normal. You are as tight as you should be. If your boyfriend feels something isn't working for him, then the problem lies with him. My guess is, he's getting older and losing the ability to be as hard as he was when he was younger. ... (read in full...)
Two children and a home together breaking down over a kiss. Something doesn't add up. Should I still meet him?
Q. A guy of 40 I'm chatting to online lost everything in his divorce. He said he kissed his wife's best friend and that her friend was jealous of their relationship. His wife of 10 years never trusted him again. To me this sounds a bit far fetched. Two ...
A. 8 December 2015: Even if it was just a kiss, that's cheating. And with the wife's BEST FRIEND even. Tells you something about his loyalty and ability to think straight. His actions tell me that this is a man who is selfish and cares more about his own needs than the ... (read in full...)
Troubled because I can't match his Christmas spend
Q. I would like to get advice on Xmas presents ie. buying for family when you live together. I live with my partner. Prior to this we lived separately. He moved from partner's into house he'd bought, and I moved in with him. I have grown-up kids. M...
A. 7 December 2015: I think that, when you're not married, you are not financially bound to each other the same way. For example I do not think you should contribute equally to him when it comes to bills etc, because you do not have any earnings. If you were on your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 6 December 2015: What if there's a real emergency? Well then he'll go to his family! You're not his wife, you have obligations towards him. My guess is the only emergency this guy runs into will require you to pay him loads of money, some way or other.
For r... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 6 December 2015: Good for you!... (read in full...)
My ex was very passionate after not seeing each other for 15 years. Does this mean there is a future for us?
Q. I met up with my first love a few months ago and have seen each other twice in nearly 6 months. the second time was so intense and we became intimate. When a man is so passionate with an ex girlfriend after nearly 15 years of not seeing her, is it ...
A. 5 December 2015: No, it's not a sign you have a future, it's a sign he hasn't seen you in 15 years and his horny.
Old feelings might blossom again, but briefly and passionately. A hot burst, however, does not mean there will be a strong and lasting flame. I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 5 December 2015: Btw, why on earth should he start looking for a job in a MONTH, and not right away? You're just making up excuses for him. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 5 December 2015: No no no no!
You can not help him change his personality! No woman on earth can do that! No one can change another person! The only way a person can change is if they themselves take initiative and want to change! This is not, i repeat NOT, som... (read in full...)
Since masturbation is the only sexual gratification I've had, what can I do to make it less shameful?
Q. I am 24 and a kissless virgin. I am ashamed of the fact that I have no idea what it is like to be in an intimate relationship and that the only sexual gratification I can get is self given. I feel like by not having dated in high school and college ...
A. 5 December 2015: Are you by chance from the USA? Because you people are the only ones I hear who uses the phrase "missed out" in this manner. Life is not about missing out. You gain experience by living, no matter what life you've chosen or what experiences you ... (read in full...)
I found feminine toiletries in his bathroom!
Q. I have been on a couple of dates with this guy and yesterday i had dinner at his house and i found womens body sparys and make up in his bathroom. The body spray was left on the side and when i opened the draw to find hand soap there was foundation ...
A. 4 December 2015: Oh, so some girl left it there, doesn't necessarily means he's involved with anyone right now. In my experience guys NEVER clean out old toiletries left there years ago. It could be his sister, his mom, his ex, a friend who stayed the night, a ... (read in full...)
Sex has been on my mind so much lately. Should I just have sex with one of the guys I know?
Q. I know some of you are probably thinking I'm too young, others thinking I should wait til marriage or the right guy, others that it's no big deal. Problem is, that's all that has been on my mind this past year, especially since starting college in ...
A. 4 December 2015: I had sex with the first and best I could find. You'll soon discover though, that men are NOT as into sex as they like to brag about. I tried to hit on so many guys, and I just wanted sex, and finally I got a friend of mine to bed by basically ... (read in full...)
Worried to 'come out' in case I'm wrong
Q. I think I'm a lesbian. I was around nine when I first heard the word, 'lesbian'. A friend slept over and we had shared the same bed. She said this made us, "lesbians". I didn't have the faintest idea what it meant, so I looked it up. My only thou...
A. 4 December 2015: "Coming out" is the wrong phrase. It's a weird phrase too, that gives no meaning unless you believe all people are originally heterosexual. Because why don't heterosexuals ever "come out"?
So no, don't "come out". Just be who you are. You do n... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my boyfriend's psychologist telling him what to do!
Q. My boyfriend has just started pyschologist therapy for stress and other stuff. Last week he came out of his session all chatty and telling me how it was. This week he just said I don't want to have to tell you how all my sessions go if I don't feel ...
A. 4 December 2015: Im going to ask you if this is the right relationship for you if this is your reaction to it? To me it sounds like the relationship has been dead for quite some time, but you are refusing to let go, which is why you're forcing yourself to live under ... (read in full...)
I want a child but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I tell him I'm going off contraception?
Q. So I've been with my partner for 3 years . I have had the implant in my arm for nearly 6 years . It's only meant to last 3 years ? Is there a specific time limit for this contraception? Me and my partner don't use any other form of protecti...
A. 4 December 2015: .... Im pretty sure this is a troll. Because who in their right mind would try to get pregnant behind their boyfriends back and think they are entitled to make decisions like this over someone elses head?
And, who in their right mind would no... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 4 December 2015: No, there is not a chance to make this work. A man (adult one at that) is not a work in progress that needs saving from a girlfriend to get "fixed". He's like this, and he will forever be like this. It's not working now, and it will not get better ... (read in full...)
He broke a cup I gave him, but has chosen to not replace it. Should I let this upset me so much?
Q. I bought my hubby a cup with the words, love you more then shoes on it. He accidently broke it and said he would get another but he still hasnt. it hurts me that he hasnt replaced it and it shows he doesnt care. I've reminded him to get it and s...
A. 3 December 2015: No, you shouldn't let this upset you so much. My question to you is, is this a deliberate feeling, or something you feel unable to control? In other words, are you upset because you feel entitled to it, and are asking you if you are entitled (in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 3 December 2015: Absolutely you can "ding" him for not paying you back the money you were supposed to get in return from the times you bought his family stuff! Now, seeing as you KNOW he does NOT pay you this money, but KEEPS IT FOR HIMSELF, now what does that tell ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 3 December 2015: Oh, and don't be too hard on yourself, we all like to believe all people are decent and honest, and when our feelings get in the way it's hard to see things for what they are. I've been in your shoes with a mooching boyfriend who would just "borrow" ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend expects me to pay for him!
Q. I'm confused. My current boyfriend with whom I'm in a LDR with for over a year seems to be the kind of guy who is used to his girlfriend buying him things and paying for things/meals. This is the first boyfriend (I've had 4 BFs) or guy I know that ...
A. 3 December 2015: You don't know where he gets the money? Well, sweetie, you honestly don't believe you are the only woman he mooches on, do you?
It's a LDR. you have no idea what he is up to when he's not sucking up to you for money. When the lap lop is closed, ... (read in full...)
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