A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I have been on and off for quite sometime. In the beginning of our relationship she was petite, and when we would have sex she would complain that she couldn't handle me because of my size (I'm not saying that I'm the biggest in the world, and I'm not patting myself on the back). Recently, she had gained some weight which made her butt noticeably big, and during intercourse I noticed that she was able to take me. After our last session, we were on the phone and she told me that it wasn't the same and I wasn't going fast enough, but two sessions prior she complained that I was doing it too hard and she wants it slow and gentle. We have since partied ways on bad terms basically due to lack of communication and her always complaining, plus I know that she was seeing other guys anyway. Although we are not seeing each other anymore, I feel very hurt and my confidence is down because I feel like I can't give a girl that has a big booty satisfaction. So I'm basically asking how to have sex with a woman that has a big booty, or does it subjectively depends on each woman? I'm feeling really down on myself about this situation and feeling like a failure, so please take my question seriously. If the post is too long, I apologize.
View related questions:
confidence, petite Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all! I thought this question would get flagged as inappropriate, but I feel so invigorated by the responses given. I wish I can give all of you a hug. Not only do I feel much better about the situation, I've learned a great deal about what sex really is. My idea of sex has completely changed. Again, thank you all and I wish each of you all the best!!!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 January 2016):
 The vagina doesn't change size just because the butt changes size. The size of the vagina has nothing to do with the size of the body. Just like a large man can have a small penis, and vice versa.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2016):
 ONE of our shorter posts with an apology for length... usually they indicate a lack of self-esteem and in this case that's glaring.
I suggest one that you get some therapy to work on that sense of self and the underlying depression... do not think you need anything long term but it will help.
As for the "big booty" issue. I'm a small petite woman and I have had so many partners I have lost count. positions can make such a difference..
woman on top
man on top
rear entry
scissors
so many options... and the fun of it is having a partner willing to try all and fine the ones that work well.
FAST and HARD are two different things... however it's hard to go FAST and easy.... I get that.
Also as an aside since I'm sensing you have minimal experience with many women... if you want to please a woman it's not the size shape or position of your penis
it's the skill of your tongue and fingers...get REALLY good at oral and penetration will be mostly for you. about 80% of women do NOT orgasm from penetration. NOTE that..... your penis is NOT the most important sexual tool you have.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 January 2016):
 Does it subjectively depends on each woman?
----------
Yes, the size of the butt has no merit on what she likes and her "internal" measurements.
Though for most women getting an orgasm is less about the size or the in/out of the penis and more about the OVERALL pleasure. Such as GOOD foreplay, finding her sensitive/erogenous zones, ASKING her what she likes and showing her what you like.
Pounding away like a jack-hammer or jack-rabbit when you are a well-endowed guy will cause more pain than pleasure for the most and you can end up "banging" on the cervix and that... in turn is highly painful.
I think the ex you mention in this post was out to hurt you with her comments and she knew complaining (after the fact) about your skills in bed was the "best" way to get back at you (for whatever reason). Most people (men AND women don't like being told they suck at sex).
Ignore her comments and when you met a new woman, go slow, be COMMUNICATIVE about what YOU like and what SHE likes, listen to her, pay attention to her actions and words in bed.
Your penis is not a magic wand. It's a LOT less about the size than the willingness, creativity and ability to please.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2016): Every woman is different. A woman will tell you how she's like it and guide you while doing it. Don't take what she said personal.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (6 January 2016):
 You are complaining about nothing really. Get your self another girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (6 January 2016):
Hey there .. chin up eh ..
It's not to do with her added weight gain as the inside of the vagina, medically speaking does not increase in size unless a women is giving birth .. maybe she just became more relaxed and aroused so therefore was able to accommodate you more .
I think her let down her was her moaning at you after the event .. Instead of guiding you during it .. We girls are very much sometimes all over the place ( we have to keep you guys on your toes ) haha but if she wanted a faster pace .. she should have made you change position and took charge a little and said " I like it like this or I want it like this " and showed you ..
When your together in the early stages you have to talk to one another to say what's good and what isn't .
Don't let this get you down " it is not you " simple you two weren't matched .. and you sound a nice guy .. so the next girl you get .. ask her when your touching her .. say do you like this .. I want to make you happy .. The right girl will love you for it .
Take care ..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2016): This is subjective. Different women like it different ways. Your ability to satisfy her has nothing to do with her butt getting larger. It has to do with her tastes and how she would have liked intercourse at the time.
It's her fault for not communicating what she wanted very well, not yours for any reason other than being confused at her failure to communicate.
Don't take it too hard. Her butt has nothing to do with this, it just isn't something you're very used to.
...............................
|
