| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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LDR boyfriend isn't taking pride in his appearance and its turning me off
Q. Hi. I'm in a LDR of a year now. My guy is by nature a big framed man, who has struggled with his weight on and off from what he says. He talked about diets etc and gets fired up, buy never actually sticks to them, and recently having managed to lose ...
A. 24 February 2016: Sorry to say this, but you don't bring it up. You end the relationship. You're not sexually attracted to him, and you CAN NOT have a relationship with someone you don't find physically attractive. Because that's a friendship, and relationships need ... (read in full...)
My future MIL thinks we should get checked out because after 3 years together we still haven't gotten pregnant
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years now we are getting married this year... We have had unprotected sex for at least 3 years. If we get pregnant that great if we don’t that is still okay as we are 25 and 26 so there’s time. But his ...
A. 19 February 2016: She's not worried for YOUR sake, she's eager to become a grandmother and thus is worried for her own sake. Which is why she's on your back about this. She'd be really scared if you told her you weren't planning on having kids too, she's probably ... (read in full...)
No sex and he's suffering
Q. How important is sex in a marriage? I suffer from dyspareunia and because of this I'm not interested in sex at all. My husband understands my situation but I can see that he is suffering. What should I do? I don't get horny at all. The thought of ...
A. 17 February 2016: Buy him a monthly sextoy. Or if you're open minded, let him have a mistress, but this option doesn't work for the majority of people. Most people are not interested in sharing or having multiple partners simultaneously. So I'd stick with the monthly ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend demanded sex, I refused and broke up with him. I'm confused!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship now but not up to a year, truly when we first started I did not have feelings for him but wit time that we both get to know each other so well that I fall for him. after like three month of our dating ...
A. 17 February 2016: You should stay away from him, he sounds dangerous. He tried to force himself on you, and he tries to manipulate you into sex and doesn't respect you. Stay away from him before he gets his way with you against your will. He sounds dangerous. I know ... (read in full...)
He wants children now and I want to be married first
Q. Hello I've been with my boyfriend over a year and I love him. We plan a future together and we both want children. The problem is he wants to have children now and I want to get married first. I'm ready to get married but when I bring it up he ...
A. 16 February 2016: Propose to him. Hear his answer. If the answer is yes, you plan the wedding and then the kids. If the answer is no, you don't move in together and you don't have kids. Problem solved. Now stop all this wondering and thinking, and ASK. ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant from boyfriend having sex then taking off condom and putting himself back into me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been stupid and need help. Me and my boyfriend were fooling around last week after having a drink and had sex (this isn't our first time) but afterwards we joked about having children and he put it back in as a joke without a ...
A. 16 February 2016: Yes. Penis in vagina without protection = baby making. If he had just ejaculated the chance of getting pregnant would be high enough for you to take a Plan B pill (morning after pill).... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be turned on that your wife slept with other guys before you met her?
Q. When I met my new wife I had just gotten divorced. I had only been with my ex-wife so didn't have much experience. My new wife had been married twice and had two children. I'm not overly endowed so I was very nervous about having sex with her for ...
A. 16 February 2016: I find it normal. In the sense that not everyone gets aroused by this, but plenty do. I do. It's under the category of "forbidden" things in my book. You get aroused by it because you shouldn't, so it's forbidden in a sense, and this is the reason ... (read in full...)
We locked eyes for 4-6 seconds? What does this mean?
Q. me and this guy used to really like each other about a year ago or 9 months, we have talked a bit since then but the other day i was walking down the stairs at school and it was full of people and he looked at me and i thought he would look away as ...
A. 16 February 2016: Nah, doesn't mean anything substantial. Noting more than you already know. You used to really like each other, you mean more to him than the average person because of this. ... (read in full...)
I used a fake name on the website because I had been stalked in the past, now my b/f wants to end things!
Q. I met an older man about 14 years older then me on an online dating site. I went by my username since I met him, however I started a physical relationship with him 7 months ago. I just recently told him my real name because I started falling in love ...
A. 16 February 2016: Alright, so ditch him. He's already saying he found someone else, wow he moved on fast. This tells me he probably didn't have much real commitment towards you to begin with. I don't think this issue with your name is a real reason for him pulling ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant this way?
Q. Hey all! so, I am a 35 year old married woman- hubby and I dont want kids. I have been on the pill for 10 years and a few months I had to quit because my body was starting to feel the stress. Hubby and I have been using condoms since. Lately, ...
A. 15 February 2016: Yes, you can get pregnant this way.... (read in full...)
I'm living with a girl who still has boyfriend. She says she'll end it with him when things are right
Q. So I've been seeing this girl now, but she has a boyfriend. ive been basically living at her place for a couple weeks now and she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me. Shes very close with his family and they have been together for a long ...
A. 15 February 2016: Obviously you didn't mind her not being single when you first got involved with her, so I don't think you have any reason to complain now. You're with her, and she'll dump her boyfriend after some time. God knows how long time, but that's your own ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about his Valentine blunder?
Q. My BF of 3 years had to work all day on Valentine's Day. He gave me my gift and we celebrated on Friday. Yesterday we had a quick chat while he was at work. He texted me, "Be my Valentine?", and I said "Yes" and asked if he will be mine. He sai...
A. 15 February 2016: I think you are being a big drama queen! Why does this bother you so much? It is absolutely not mandatory to send good night messages on Valentines, and if you wanted to say good night to him then god damn it you should have sent him a text ... (read in full...)
How does he get away with cheating and then get the perfect girl and relationship and I'm left looking like the big bad wolf.
Q. I'm probably going to get a lot of hate over this but this is why I'm writing, for help and advice. Around 19 months ago I had an affair with a guy 11 years younger than myself who was in a relationship with an extremely beautiful girl a...
A. 12 February 2016: You're experiencing jealousy. You had him, now you don't, some other girl has him. But in your mind, he's yours. Girls can feel such entitlement sometimes, you always knew he wasn't yours and you were just something on the side. You show yourself so ... (read in full...)
Would I be better off on my own?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 6 years and have two small kids a baby and a 2 year old, lately it seems like we just talk bout the kids or house, I feel like I do everything with the kids on my own he works long hours but would never help ...
A. 11 February 2016: I think it's time to call for reinforcements. Do you have your mother or other family members nearby who know how to take care of kids? Or maybe a cousin or something that can baby sit the 2 year old so at least you have one less child to mind and ... (read in full...)
When do you tell a guy you are a virgin?
Q. Hello, first time poster. I keep having a problem here and I guess my main question is when do you tell a guy you are a virgin? I oviously shouldn't shake a boy's hand and say, "hi, I'm Carey and I'm a virgin." but a lot of boys, after I have been ...
A. 11 February 2016: There is no such thing as "look like a virgin". Whatever boy told you this clearly isn't very bright, or date material.
When to tell a boy? When you're in a relationship with him, going for minimum two weeks and exclusive and official, and befo... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off if a girl has a very high sex drive?
Q. Hi all, I have a slightly weird question. I'm 18 and have a very high sex drive, I have a boyfriend if 4 months and he is now realising how horny I am. At the minute he seems fine with it but Id just like to ask is it a turnoff? I'm literally ...
A. 10 February 2016: People, men and women, have different sex drives. It's not about whether it's a turn on or not, it's about whether he's as ready for action as you are. If not, then he will become tired. If he's got the same sex drive as you then it'll be just great ... (read in full...)
I have a foot fetish and want to suck my wife's toes. How do I tell her?
Q. Might be a weird question to some.. I have a foot fetish, I would love to suck on my wife's toes during sex but for fear of looking weird I never told her. 6yrs later we are married and I still would like to do this. But how do I bring it up with...
A. 10 February 2016: I don't see why this should freak her out. It's not harmful or damaging. Go for it. If you are too embarrassed to talk to your own wife about this, then maybe you and her need to work on the communication? Or maybe you are not the talking types? If ... (read in full...)
Why is he so attentive to his ex and not to me?
Q. My BF and I have been in a LDR for almost three years. We're moving together this year. I have always been very nice to all of his family members (he has a huge family compared to mine). I will get presents for every little neice and nephew and cous...
A. 10 February 2016: I don't see how you can know for a fact he was more attentive to your ex's family than to yours. Just because you know of a few gifts and one outing, doesn't mean it was a steady thing. More likely he paid her family just the same amount of ... (read in full...)
How long can a person pretend to be someone else to make another person happy?
Q. I'm worried about a friend of mine and was wondering if anyone has an advice. He dated this woman for over a year. They fought a lot, he cheated on her, etc. During that time he confided in his close friends, including myself so we knew exactly ...
A. 7 February 2016: Your post is selfish. Which is allowed, Im just pointing that out to you. You're not writing because you're worried about your friend, nor should you be. He can take care of himself and he's not doing this at gun point. His choice. But it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I've changed my mind about children .....
Q. I made a deal with my husband before we got married in 2011. Back then I was young and immature. We considered each other soul mates. We both liked the care free lifestyle. Like playing video games, travelling and partying. We work in the gam...
A. 7 February 2016: Not all people want children, and not all change their mind about it like you did. I think you should talk to him and tell him you have changed your mind.
But I would advice you to think this through carefully. When you only now have begun to... (read in full...)
Is she not very sexually experienced and I'm just manipulative?
Q. So I've been seeing this girl for a month now- I am very sexual with her but just over the weekend we had unprotected sex and I came inside her.. She was pretty nervous afterwards but we kept doing it for the next 4 days. We have basically fallen in ...
A. 3 February 2016: You both want a baby, I guess. Or you're both not very smart. ... (read in full...)
We broke up 2.5 weeks ago and he's already dating someone else. Was he cheating?
Q. I'm a 44 year old woman who was recently in a relationship with the man I planned to married. He is 47. We were in a serious relationship and were very much in love. We did everything together! He's never given me a reason to think that he was ...
A. 3 February 2016: It doesn't matter. You're not together, and he's not cheating on you now. Whether he did or not in the past doesnt change the present. But for what it's worth, I don't think he cheated. If he did, and now you're broken up and he's already seeing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always late and doesn't see anything wrong with it
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We live 40 mins apart. I get very irritated because he is always late with me it seems. I am a punctual type of person and if I happen to run late I will apologize and let the person know and get ...
A. 2 February 2016: By the way, my boyfriend used to be late in the morning and his father couldn't stand it. He was warned that next time, his father would not wait for him in the morning to drive him to school, if he was not ready on time (my boyfriend was a teenager ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always late and doesn't see anything wrong with it
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We live 40 mins apart. I get very irritated because he is always late with me it seems. I am a punctual type of person and if I happen to run late I will apologize and let the person know and get ...
A. 2 February 2016: This is a repeated problem in relationships. One person is punctual, and the other is not. For most people, even punctual ones, being late by 5-10 minutes, and th epccasional 20 minutes, is acceptable. But when it becomes a habit, or crosses over ... (read in full...)
On average how many weeks should yu message someone online before suggesting meeting?
Q. I am a gay female,retrying online dating. On average how many weeks should yu message someone online before suggesting meeting? I have met people before online but the site I'm on now is different. We were matched 3.5 weeks ago and ha...
A. 2 February 2016: Oh, I must warn you, in response to CindyCares advice about her maybe wanting to take things slow: Some people just use this line in order to keep stringing you along. Saying they want to take things slow, yet want to have sex for example... That's ... (read in full...)
On average how many weeks should yu message someone online before suggesting meeting?
Q. I am a gay female,retrying online dating. On average how many weeks should yu message someone online before suggesting meeting? I have met people before online but the site I'm on now is different. We were matched 3.5 weeks ago and ha...
A. 2 February 2016: I wouldn't wait several weeks at all. Unless there is a real reason for why you can't meet right away, messaging for weeks is a waste of time and energy. You don't get to know someone through messages. You NEED to meet in order to get to know one ... (read in full...)
I find sexual chat with men stimulating but enjoy kissing women. Help!
Q. Dear Cupid, My question is related to sexuality, and I almost feel as though I have the answers myself but I just need someone to bounce them off. From an early age I have had a pretty high sex drive. My tastes in pornography have mostly been ...
A. 1 February 2016: I don't see a problem. So you like chatting with men. Ok. And you like kissing women. Ok. What's the question?
Oh, don't tell me, you want a label on your forehead? Sorry, labels are for cans, not people. You like what you like so go with the... (read in full...)
My fiancé almost never wants to have sex, is there a way we can compromise?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for three years and i am sure we really love eachother however there has been a reoccurring issue in our relationship for about a year now...he almost never wants have sex. we have been living together for about ...
A. 1 February 2016: Being an addict doesn't mean you take drugs every day. You're addicted when you have a "need" outside of a normal wish or desire, for the certain stimuli. A good way to test if you are addicted or not is to go without your stimuli for a month. If ... (read in full...)
Help me beat my fear of violent sex
Q. I have a problem that's seriously interfering with my sex life. When I was 11, I learned about how sex worked by looking up naughty videos. These videos and games were hentai, and often portrayed sex as bloody and painful and that the woman di...
A. 30 January 2016: Why would a counselor not be allowed to talk about this? Yes, they are allowed, I don't see why they should not be allowed. They're not allowed to HAVE sex WITH a patient, but they are allowed to talk to a patient about the problems they have, ... (read in full...)
Do women get scared of a man, when all he does is try to make her happy?
Q. Do women get scared of a man, when all he does is try to make her happy? I mean, can he do something that makes, her feel like he is getting to like her too much, an then she runs, but down the road, she goes out with other men, an she compares, the ...
A. 30 January 2016: I don't think it's okay to generalize women, as if we are all like minded and all think the same thought and are that easy and simple minded and predictable. We're intelligent just like men. So answer that question yourself, but replace women with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 years came inside me for the first time after sex. Why did he do this?
Q. My boyfriend came inside me after having sex. He always pulls out and this is the first time in 2 years he has ever done this. So I am wondering if I need to be concerned by the change in behaviour. Why do this after all this time when he has neve...
A. 29 January 2016: He wants you to get pregnant. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he has too much invested in me. What does this mean?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We were talking the other day. Some what if's type of conversation. I asked him if he would ever leave me or leave me for someone else and he said he has everything he wants and needs fr...
A. 27 January 2016: It means exactly that. He's invested time, feelings, possibly money into the relationship with you. Investments he will lose if ending the relationship. The point thought is that you asked a weird questions that reeks of insecurity, and thus you ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my boyfriend's gaming female friend
Q. My bf follows a lot of cosplayers/models on social media. A lot of the time, he usually has a picture of one set as his phone or computer background, which he changes pretty regularly. This never really bothered me until now. One of the things he...
A. 27 January 2016: Yeah, you'll just come off as overreacting, jealous girlfriend. He said he's taken, he's with you, and I don't see why you are worrying. He's a gamer, this is how they are. If you don't like it, change boyfriends. Soon as he stops contact with this ... (read in full...)
It happened once, why cant it happen again?
Q. Hello. So every weekend, I go over to my partner's house and we do it. Recently I had my first "orgasm"-- well that's what he said happened. A bunch of stuff just gushed out and I pushed him out of me. That new feeling happened so quick it was hard ...
A. 25 January 2016: You need to masturbate. That's how you will learn when you're close and how to get over the edge. By the way Im not convinced you had an orgasm. You'd know it yourself if you did, your boyfriend doesn't live in your body and couldn't possibly know ... (read in full...)
Is NSA the same as FWB?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm sort of dating a person for past 2 months and today after sex he told me he wants to do NSA and he doesn't attach emotionally to anyone (which he does to protect himself) and won't commit. Though its NSA he won't be seeing anyone el...
A. 25 January 2016: These are not standards. These are just made up terms that each person use the way it suits them. If you want definitions of what it means then you need to ask the person involved. You need to ask your man what he means and what the ground rules are ... (read in full...)
Should I break confidentiality to protect a relative?
Q. This is sort of an ethical dilemma. I volunteered at a transitional home for women most of whom were recovering drug addicts who had child service cases. One lady there, who I will call Shelly, opened up about her story and how she grew up in a ...
A. 25 January 2016: "I do feel it is unethical for her to lie to him and that he needs to know. "
But you're not God. It is not your job to judge someone, or decide their fate. Trying to intervene when it is not your place will not get you anywhere good, and it will ... (read in full...)
Should I even bother with a man who still has his ex's photo on the wall 10 years after she has passed away?
Q. I went met this guy online. We talked for 9 months before making plans to meet in person. He was a very nice guy, but has an annoying side to him. He liked to win when we had our little spats. Anyway, we went on a couple of dates finally, and they...
A. 25 January 2016: He should "get over it"? Your level of ignorance and insensitivity is astonishing. Perhaps you have Asperger's syndrome, or are on the autism spectre elsewhere, because any other person would know that you do not tell a man who you barely know, or ... (read in full...)
Is this the person she will always be? She hit me
Q. My girlfriend and I were studying together in an empty classroom when she decided she was cold and wanted to do jumping jacks to warm up but said it would be too embarrassing. I said: it's not embarrassing and nobody is here but me so who cares. I...
A. 25 January 2016: Yes, people do not change. ... (read in full...)
I want to improve my English but can't stay focused for more than 10 minutes
Q. I am a lazy girl. I want to learn English well to get my life better. But when i open my book or my laptop, i just learn for about 10 minutes, and then i do other things: surf the internet for facebook or youtube funny video. How can i change ...
A. 24 January 2016: Start a fanfiction about a series or character you absolutely love. That is how I improved my English, by writing online short stories. Each chapter should be short, maybe half a page or a page. Use dictionaries or google different words you want to ... (read in full...)
We've been married 7 months and I'm still a virgin because I'm terrified of getting pregnant!
Q. Hi, I'm embarrassed writing on here but I don't have anyone I can confide in.... I hope I don't offend anyone with my post but I'm so sad and frustrated I don't know what to do.... I'm 34, and got married 7 months ago after being with my hu...
A. 24 January 2016: I just wrote a long response and then my dog jumped on the lap top and erased it all... Sheez. But to sum it up (can't possible write it all again):
1. Condoms and birth control pills are 100% safe, it is misuse that screw up the statisti... (read in full...)
I don't know if I want to date, be friends or FWB with her!
Q. How should I go about my attraction to my close friend? I am currently 21, and I have been friends with this girl since High school. We recently started to get closer to each other due to how often we see each other now, so my attraction for h...
A. 24 January 2016: I think this is just a case of Tarzan and Jane in the jungle. She's the only woman around who you're close with, hence you get this instinctual "need" to explore if you can hump her. You dont actually like her as a girlfriend, you're not in love, ... (read in full...)
Should I even bother with a man who still has his ex's photo on the wall 10 years after she has passed away?
Q. I went met this guy online. We talked for 9 months before making plans to meet in person. He was a very nice guy, but has an annoying side to him. He liked to win when we had our little spats. Anyway, we went on a couple of dates finally, and they...
A. 24 January 2016: You owe him an apology. You sound quite insensitive and like a jealous person. Really, you're jealous of his dead ex???... (read in full...)
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