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female
,
anonymous
writes: I dont know what to do. My boyfriend is in hospital having a operation. I have been to see him every night so far and stayed with him all weekend. This is very tiring as I work from 9-5 every day and the hospital he is in is 1.5 hours away. I understand that he is bound to be low and therefore not appreciative of my efforts but does he contantly need to make comments about the nurses fancying him and playing strip poker with him etc?? I know it's childish of me to react by being hurt but it's not just the one comment it is constant! I have told him that it upsets me (I know it shouldn't) and he apologised and said he would stop. It hasn't and I'm feeling more and more insecure. It is even worse when he cracks jokes to his mates visiting whilst im there that he is doing it and it makes me mad! Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2006): Wow. That guy's a loser. He has this cool chick coming to visit him regularly, caring for him, etc. And he's being a turd. Let's say, in the most harmless scenario, he's toying with you to make you jealous. Well, do you want a guy that jacks with you like that? There are a lot of guys out there who are much smarter and more mature than that. I don't know how long you've been together or how much you've invested, of course. So, I'm not saying break up with him. But he's acting fishy and being an insensitive jerkoff. Give him his cell phone back and stop visiting him.(No, you're not being paranoid. In my experience, men do these things when they have reason to. In my opinion, something is probably going on.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2006): I would ignore him and not visit him. Why should you drive all that way to feel miserable. STUFF him.
Tell him you are going out with your friends as you are very tired and stressed after all your work and rushing around after him and you want a night out.
He is being a tool. Make sure he misses you and realises that you are not going to hang around and take the crap he is dishing out.
Hopefully he realises that perhaps you may meet a nicer man and its time to start behaving like an adult not a 13 year old boy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBUt that is the exact issue, he knows full well I have never checked his phone, and would never answer his calls, its just not in my nature. I'd be mad if he did it to mine so I cant really have double standards. Thats why it confuses me so much! he surely must have been worried?
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (21 February 2006):
 He took the sim card out cos he knew you would probably look at it and quite frankly that is similar to reading somebody's diary.
Look it's not that anyhting is going on (in my opinion) it's just that he does this to wind you up. You take the bait and he gets gratification from seeing you jealous. Simple really.
Play him at his own game......x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): Ask him why he took out his sim card. Mine you, he might have taken it out because you are becoming overwhelmingly sensitive as well, and he feels as though you may turn out to answering his phone calls for him, and yelling back at the girls who call him, etc, etc, etc. Who knows.Like said, you can simply ask him. Asking us won't give you answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk now its got worse! or am I just being suspicious? He asked me to take his mobile home last night to charge it for him, he had taken the sim out! why would he do that?
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A
male
reader, Andy J +, writes (21 February 2006):
 Easyest question on here i think. Basically all you have to do is say to him look im not coiming to see you for a while because your acting like an ungratful w**ker, and then he'll realise of s**t what have i done and come crwling back. I've just split from my fiance and i'm f***ing groveling to get her back!!!!!! Andy
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (20 February 2006):
 Be mad! You are normal! of course it upsets you and I think that you shouldn't feel that it shouldn't affect you. Of course it will, you are trying to look after him, see him despite working and travelling and he is being an insensitive p***k!
You've told him that it upsets you, he said he would stop and he hasn't. Okay, two choices really. Either you put up or shut up (which isn't exactly advisable) or you tell him that you are so sick of his behaviour that you don't wish to come to visit him again. I know this sounds like a threat but he is behaving very immaturely. One comment maybe okay but not all the time.
I know this is a bit harsh but let him know you won't put up with this otherwise he will continue. If you don't see him and he doesn't contact you (which I doubt will happen) then you have really had a lucky escape from someone who will never treat you well anyway.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, amandairene +, writes (20 February 2006):
You are right. He is feeling down at the moment and a little vulnerable. Operations are yuck. Yet the fact you have bought it to his attention should alert him to your feelings. Because if his ignorance, When he mentions it again, perhaps you could say "Gee I thought the Nurses would be more interested in those rich, sexy Doctors. I just saw the most yummiest one." Then wait for his reaction? Hopefully he will get the message! Trust me, he won't like it when the table are turned. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): it is your boyfriend being childish not you. the odd nurse joke is expected from many blokes but not constant especially when he knows it's upsetting you. saying that, i think there seems to be something in a man's brain that makes them backwards. for example, you tell a bloke he did something good, he probably won't d oit again. tell him something's upsetting you and he'll do it more. i don't think men mean to do it, it just happens with some of them. well anyway try not to let him know you are upset by it. if he does it again, just ignore him. could be he's just showing off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): Easy. Stop seeing him. Stop going driving 1.5 hours over to him and see how he likes it when no one is there to take care of him. When he's really ready, he'll make the effort to get his ass out of bed, and call you with the phone on the other side of the hallway, beg for forgiveness and make sweet mushy sounds so you can laugh and etc.If not, then geez, forget about that bastard! Yeah, I'm calling him a bastard! So ungentlemanly! [big f**king sigh]
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