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male
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anonymous
writes: Ladies...A girfriend told me that she had sex but it did not feel good. Never; now I replied that that is rediculous because sex always feels good if the woman is a willing participant. Excuse me for my ignorance but I think that when a woman agrees to have sex with a man; it will feel good to her. I know that she does not have an orgasm all of the time, however, sex is generally a good physical feeling even if one is not emotionally connected with the partner. To illustrate... If a woman were to give me oral sex (I don't objectify women like this but bare with me), it would feel good if I orgasmed or not; or if I were attracted to her or not.A tickle feels good; a warm massage feels good; stratching and itch feels good. So, physically sex feels good.The question is can a woman willingly have sex, get wet and all, and have no pleasure at all?Again, I am ignorant; please educate me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Hi to the last poster, this is a very old thread, you should report a new question on the main page!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Heh can't believe I will ask this but anyway...
I'm a 22 year old guy who has never had sex, now big thing I fear is that a women I do find that I like I wont know how to really make them happy and I don't mean just in bed.
I don't really care about sex so much as wanting someone as a companion and someone I can grow old with. Now I know someone I want to go out with but want to know if they do like me how can I make sure that I'm making them happy or if they are just acting to make me feel good...As I don't care how much I enjoy all that stuff but how happy they are and don't want to give them a boring unhappy life. so any tips would be good.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): I think if she's wet, then it must be an emotional detachment. Often times, I find that I can be wet and emotionally there, but he comes and then it leaves me hanging. It is frustrating, because I need him to keep going so I can be pleased.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): yeah but if a women has had sex lots ot times but never feels pleasure!!! theres something wrong right? or can they never get pleasure or what????
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 If you dont ask you never learn. And if you are not open minded or brave enough to ask then you are immature, either sexually or emotionally.
You, my dear appear to be neither.
xxx
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (6 March 2006):
 No dear, you are not sexually immature.
A good lover will satisfy many women over his life time.....A great lover will satisfy only one.
Keep asking questions, Read anything about female anatomy that you can get your hands on and never ever be to embarassed to learn no matter what age you are.
You don't have to be with many women to be experienced or educated. If you learn to cherish your wife, experimenting with something new and exciting you have learned from a book, and always find your greatest joy in her pleasure, you will never go wrong.
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (5 March 2006):
 hi is the girlfriend that told you this a platonic friend, i ask as you say you have a wife and she is the only one you have been with , if this is the case , i would not listen to what this woman says, id listen to you wife and ask her the things you need to know and if you feel you need to improove on what you give her then use what you read here in fact use it anyway , its all good!
but i will say my husband is so giving he actualy thinks the opposite of you , that sex is more for women ....he feels its men who are missing out (a cliterous for how small it is has many more nerve endings than a penis) since being with my husband i find i last 5 mins tops he lasts 10,although before that for example, i was 30 mins my partner 15! for a woman , id say it just a case of having the right man to be aware and plese a woman , a bit of give and take, do what she likes then a quick spurt of what you like then back . but most importantly find what she likes...together!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLadies.. great responses. Thank you so much as I said I do not objectify women at all.For the record I am 30 yrs old and have only had sex with my wife of 8 yrs(in other words, I married my first). So I am sexually imature.Thanks again.
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (5 March 2006):
Wetness really has little to do with anything...Sure it CAN be a clue and often is...and yes it certianly happens when you have an orgasm.(for most women) But, guess what....Means NOTHING. In the modern world too much stuff messes with that very delicate operation for you to consider it any sort of absolute...SHE'S likin it! Medicines, chemicals, tampons, the very Food we eat and where we are in our cycle (if we have one) all toss the unexpected into the soup.
Also just for your own info...stick your finger in your eye...what happened? Oh..it waters? It was irritated...same thing can happen with vaginal fluid. It can be in response to irritation...rather than pleasure. (that little myth of "SHE Liked it cause she was wet" is one of those great nuggets rapists use to justify themselves)
Now on the flip side...some women simply never have enough moisture...thus the people who make KY jelly are doing a booming business. Lack of moisture does NOT mean she is not enjoying it, or that she's a cold fish, or that she is not sexually attracted to you....She could be hot as a firecracker and simply dry. Medicine, alcohol, hormonal changes etc. etc can all make it impossible for the vagina to hydrate.
Now as far as YOU TELLING a woman that it Must feel good because she agreed to it. Baby Boy...the only thing you have going for you after THAT remark is that you are at least willing to question and hopefully listen.
Honey did it ever occur to you that if women were guaranteed to enjoy sex as easily and as quickly as men...there would be no prostitutes, There would be Much less divorce, and you'd have trouble walking down the street without catching snogging couples.
Of course a woman can Have Sex without so much as a notice in response.
(there are also some who can HIDE that it is actually quite painful for them...but they would die before hurting their hubby's fragile ego)
Women have sex for a variety of reasons that don't include hoping to reach orgasm. It may be just a way of feeling close to someone she's attracted to in other ways...he wants to so why not. I personally don't mind teaching the inexperienced...but I do not sleep with the selfish more than once.
It is often less trouble to simply Fake enjoyment if you find you are with an idiot... Especially with any man that thinks poking a little fun for himself is all it takes. Do you REALLY think the lady in the oldest profession does that work (and boy it must be work) because she's soooooooooooo excited about quickly being mauled by 10 strangers a night? She consented...it must feel good for what 10 hours a day? (that is called acting...and she's paid for it)
Men all want to be GRRRREEEAAAT lovers...they want women to fall apart for them. Then often, when they get one in the sack, they think they are storm troopers...gET In...get the goods... get out as fast as possible. (what.. before she changes her mind?)
You have seen them before...those guys who are always swamped with women. Maybe they are only moderately attractive...but they just seem to have IT? Boy you wish YOU had IT.
Well...IT is about her. Those guys know the mistake other men make. Their buddies play storm trooper. Players are patient,they see each woman they touch as a whole new planet and they must map out and worship every inch of her body and see her fulfilled before they will even remotely consider their own pleasure. (pretend to have an orgasm on a player...he won't buy it..He knows...because he's studied the material)
Now this woman is someone you can talk too...she explained something very important to you about herself. Your response is disbelief....a players response would have been sadness for her and a desire to help her change things...devoting hours perhaps weeks to her needs...(And most importantly forsaking his own until SHE lay in his arms amazed and ready to worship Him for this gift)(that is the secret of a great lover by the way....if you leave her really satisfied...she will do almost anything for the pleasure of your attentions again...think about that one...and you can see the great potential.)
Is this something most men would do...no. Most men are suckers for a quicky...and most women put up with it because they have been conditioned to do so.
Mystify said it well...treat her like a goddess.
Can a woman have sex and not feel pleasure from it? Hmmph...if you are really young or inexperienced then you have every right to question that. But, if you are over 21 and have had more than three girls in bed...it's time you began educating yourself and stop treating your female friend like She made a mistake and really DID feel pleasure...she just must have....ummmm...what...forgotten?
Also I will tell you this...young girls often don't know how to have an orgasm of any kind. They are too timid, embarassed, worried they look silly etc. to even really notice that they are missing the point. (victims who have been abused sexually may even be repulsed by the idea of it) Be aware of that...and realise that getting your pleasure takes about 5 minutes and rarely will it fail....even if you have to walk away (and take matters into your own hand later) never rush...never push....and never have an orgasm til she does.
anybody can be a great lover...few are willing to be because they are selfish. It requires a lot of effort and it is always easier to play stupid. I hope this helps you never be in a position to play stupid again. Next time Listen and accept....women are not exactly the same as men.
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reader, mystify +, writes (5 March 2006):
i just wanted to add to bevs comment , lots of women are how is described in her comment but lots of women are not , i for onehave lots of feeling inside and can orgasm more more powerfully from inside than with cliterol stimulation , some call it the g spot i dunno but for me its there, just to add a differant viewpoint.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 No sir. Your assumptions are wrong. Sex for women doesn't automatically feel good. In fact, it can feel almost like nothing at all if there's no emotional connection for her. A vagina is not the reverse image of a penis!A woman's vagina -- unlike your penis -- is almost devoid of nerve endings. She can feel pressure and touch, but that's about all. If vaginas were any more sensitive than they are, childbirth would be impossible!Furthermore, the area with the densest nerve endings (her clitoris) is quite a distance from the "action" of the sexual contact, so your assertion that "sex feels good" only applies if the contact in question is around her clitoris. Traditional sexual acts aren't.As I wrote to another question asker for a slightly different question, sexual desire for women can be like having an itchy back and having your partner massage your neck. Sure, it feels OK, but it's nowhere near where the attention is needed! To put in another way, your anus is roughly the same distance from your penis as the distance between a woman's vagina and clitoris. When one body part wants sensation, but another area gets that contact instead, it's hardly the same sensation, is it?Now. Instead of preaching to all of us mere females about how our sexual parts work, why don't you put some effort into reading about women's physiology and sexuality, so you can learn what you need to know?
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (4 March 2006):
Yep, women can just *go thru the motions* and become wet and a man can usually never tell if it is good for her or she is faking it. Gosd knows i have done it enough times myself in the past just to get it over with, with crappy bf''s who just ain't that good.....
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female
reader, shania +, writes (4 March 2006):
 To put it in a nutshell....a woman can be wet but thats not because you are having sex with her....its because some women have vaginal secetions...depending on her monthly cycle...discharge can be mistaken for general wetness.If a woman doesnt have enough foreplay,then the sex isnt going to be that good for her.A man can take less then 5 minutes to be turned on....where a woman,it can take up to 20 minutes.Yes you are right....a woman doesnt always have to have an orgasm to enjoy sex...what is more important is that the man treats her with a loving touch...plenty of kissing and no...Wam Bam,Thank You Mam.Another thing....a woman who is in the mood for sex but the fella she is with just wants to satisfy his own needs is the biggest turn off you could ever get,whether she is wet or not.
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (4 March 2006):
women are taught and told too much these days that sex is a "man" thing , when i was younger i was ignorant to the fact that it was for women to enjoy too and i didnt bother trying to find enjoyment in it for myself , instead just trying to please my man. it took a good man to show me how much pleasure it can be for me too and that sex is enjoyable for women too, my advice therefore would be to make her feel like a goddess in bed stroke her like she is so special, "awaken her"
btw a woman can get wet without feeling any pleasure if she is relaxed enough it can be just like a physical reaction to what happening down there although it is gonna happen more when she is horney
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