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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship for over four years, we love each other madly and have a child together. However, my partner wants to come on my face during sex and is unhappy (which I find unbearable to live with) when I refuse to let him. I feel violated if I do let him and really don't want this in my sex life - it turns me off. If we don't do it, he's unhappy and if we do I'm unhappy - what can we do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): If you feel face cum is degrading (and some do) just say no, and if he cannot respect your wishes move on. For certain it is the visual staple of porn. But so what. I am very loving to my man orally: sucking, licking, swallowing, kissing his penis after wards, not just popping off of him, but really making it long and loving. But I do not care for cum shot in my face... it doesn't turn me on and he prefers to cum inside my mouth deeply and we both agree to that.
I am even ok with giving him oral when full sex or mutual oral is not doable. I love pleasing him to orgasm without orgasm as we're really close and he give me very thorough, deep oral sex often and with enthusiasm. Sure, when a man gives a woman oral sex, by 'anatomy' they often get their face wet, I get that. But getting cum shot in the face is not necessarily a part of oral to a man unless he ejaculates outside of her mouth.
Talk it out, if a mutual compromise cannot be met, no one is going to be happy.
A
female
reader, poetrygoddess  +, writes (6 October 2010):
I don't get what the big deal is. I'm female and I watch porn - and not that softcore shit either. And no I'm not a slut, as I know women like to vindictively call each other. I don't believe in judgment either way. My boyfriend and I love each other and have almost been together for three years. He was very traditional about sex but I convinced him to cum in my mouth, on my face, on my boobs, etc. I'm not a sex object. I'm a kinky, fiercely sexual woman, committed to one guy. Now tell me what the hell is wrong with that. Yeah, he respects me...lol so much that he hesitated to do that stuff when I asked him to. It took a lot of convincing! Why do I want it? Well, I don't want to be stuck with traditional sex. Yeah he still respects me completely, in case ur wondering. And yeah I'm his lady and we go to fancy restaurants and he writes romantically to me and I do the same for him. I write very often, both poetry and prose, and I write all kinds of fiction, including erotic fiction. I'm tired of all these aversions to experiment.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Some women love it and some don't..just tell him no!
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A
male
reader, Beznik +, writes (11 June 2010):
I am tired of women saying men are terrible people for having sexual desires. I am also tired of women saying men are terrible for asking a woman to do anything. Do you ever ask men your in a relationship to do anything. I am not for forcing anyone to do anything but I am for open-mindedness especially in a long term relationship. If two people get married they better BOTH and yeah that definitely includes the man be willing to do what the other wants sexually or they are probably not going to be together for the rest of their life or at least not very happily.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): my boyfriend asked the same thing, except he asked to do it on my chest (several times) in which i always refused. you can thank this idea coming into his head from porn. porn ruins relationships, it fucks up your self image, and your sex life. guys who rely on porn to educate them about sex have NO idea about female sexuality in real life. Bottom line: if it doesn't sound right to you, don't do it. he sounds like he wants you to cave so he can get what he wants, and thats so selfish of him. I suggest this website to him, and all you other assholes on this site that are telling this brave young woman to do something she simply does not want to do: http://www.makelovenotporn.com/
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A
male
reader, twinlab99 +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Seriously, you women need to get over that. First of all, it's fantasy and a big turn on. Not a big deal. Your husband watches porn and wants to keep your sex life alive. I bet it's already died down...just let him do it....it's hot....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): It's very erotic for a man to come on his partner's face. What is it that you find violating? There isn't an honest man who'll deny it's what we want to do. Do you enjoy it when he comes in your mouth or is that also taboo for you? Your mouth is the second centre of the universe for him. Verrrrry intimate. Don't be judgemental with him, talk about it :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): i used to be seeing someone like this at first he was quiet and shy and then i found out he was dmanding sexually and made me feel violated too any man that thinks anything of you wont treat you like a sex object. my boyfriend before him was the total opposite and i soon realised what id lost and went back to him, dont stand for anything you dont want to do espescially if you have explained how it makes you feel, for the rightlad id do anything once in a while just to compromise but for someone who treats you like you an object, there not worth your time
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): why not comprimise and let him come in your mouth and on your chin? Or wear sunglasses and let him come on your face?
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male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (5 March 2006):
 This is a pure porn fantasy.
Maybe suggest that he comes on your boobs could be a compromise.
Actually he sounds like a jerk anyway sweetie.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (5 March 2006):
 Mystify got it right....you are not a sex object! If this makes you uncomfortable then don't be coerced into it. If your man *needs* this to *get off* then he has some seriously weird sexual hang-ups he need to sort out.
This is an act of sexual behaviour that you either like or dont like. I personally couldnt care either way (it'd just a pain, literally, if you get it in your eye!!!!)
Dont be forced into doing ANYTHING you dont want to do....
I wish you well.xxx
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A
female
reader, minaah +, writes (5 March 2006):
i mean sex is a great experience believe me try and tell him tell it how it makes u feel if u feel violated tell him he might not b happy bout it but if he really loves u he would stop tell mahow it goes minaahx
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 March 2006):
 First, don't do it ! This is one of those areas where it's good to try and satisfy your partner, within limits. I'd say this would fall outside of what many would descibe as acceptable. He should understand this. If you wanted to do it, that would be different. I really can't imagine what pleasure a guy would get doing tha to his lover, knowing she didn't like it. That would turn me off, knowing my wife was laying there anticipating something that repulded her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2006): Tell him NO! Anyone who loves you will respect your wishes. If he's unhappy, then he's being an immature ass. Sounds like he's been watching way too many porn movies. Sheesh!
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (5 March 2006):
 if his happiness depends on where he comes prehaps its him that needs to look into finding more fulfilment in life generally, the problem is his not yours!
if things are down in the relationship look for ways to rekindle the romance , remind him you are his LADY not his sex object!
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