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female
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*razikat6601
writes: hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. 2 Years ago I got pregnant on the pill and had a termination because neither my boyfriend nor I were ready to have a child, although since then I have had great feelings of regret. I then went on the injection but that messed my body up real bad and so I went back onto the pill. I have now got pregnant again. I feel more emotionally stable to have a child and I know there is no way I could face another abortion so I have decided to go through with the pregnancy. The only problem is my boyfriend is being very negative. He doesn't even want to talk about the subject. It's pretty clear that he wants me to have another abortion but he is being distant. He doesn't even want to tell his mum, or me to tell my mum. How do I keep my Boyfriend and my Baby? Please help me. I am 19 and he is 24.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You dont.
Effectively you have taken away your BF's CHOICE in the matter and quite frankly that would appear like you were trying to trap him to me.
You need to look at your motives for doing this. In this day and age, except in extreme circumstances there really is a form of contraception for everbody. And you have been careless and had a major lack of respect for your BF.
Yes you do not want to have another abortion, but if you have this baby you need to face up to the fact he probably wont be around. You cannot force a person to act in a certain way, and your BF has made it more than clear he will not be happy with this going thru. And chances are high he wont be around to support you if you go thru with this pregnancy.
Confide in you MUm and tell her what has happened.
Take responsibilty for your actions and do not heap all the blame onto him with your family because that just would not be fair.
And above all when this baby is born, if your body cannot tolerate chemical methods of contraception and injections, then start to insist on the use of the common or garden barrier methods like the condom.
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You dont, you need to realise that this bloke is not going to support you or the baby.
He may in time come around to the idea but dont wait or hope for this, you have decided to keep the baby and know this is right for you so just get on with it on your own.
Being a single mum is hard, I know, but being with someone just for the sake of the baby is not the answer, he has made his feelings very clear.
You need to look at the practicalities of having this baby, like where do you live and what money are you entitled to, he needs to pay for the child and so you need to get advice on this.
You will need support and so need to look at who is realistically going to support you through the pregnancy and the birth if he decides he really is out of the picture.
You definatly need to tell your mum and friends, forget what he wants as there is a baby on the way so its a bit late for choices.
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