| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: What do I say to get my spouse to confess an affair?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2006): Tell them you have already been told by the person he is allegedly having an affair with, then they should confess all.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 How do you even know ahe is having an affair?
If you know then you must have PROOF.
Confront her with the proof and deal with the fall out that way.
If you have no proof......then, cannot help mate sorry.x
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Do all that beentheredonethat says but be prepared for what you find out, if you get it wrong then the trust has gone and for sure your partner will finish your relationship.
But if you find out they are having an affair then what?
You must consider the impact it will have, do you have children, shared mortgage etc.
Personally I would want to know, some people preffer not to know and just to hope it will fizzle out.
If you have money get a private detective to check partner out, they are very good I believe and you will have conclusive evidence.
Good luck in what ever you decide.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You mean on her own? With no proof that they can't deny or make excuses for....wish ya luck! (and I say her simply because I assume your spouse is a female...you did not state the gender)
Do you have proof? Or are you just guessing.
If you fear that she is being sneaky....then you must also be sneaky to catch her...if your sure you want to know the answer. What will you do IF she/he IS haveing an affair? You better know before you bring up the subject, because if you consider it a deal breaker...take steps to protect yourself financially BEFORE even thinking of confronting her. (do you have credit cards in your name, at least one bank account and 6 months of cash on hand?)
Haveing an affair crosses a line....but don't think for a minute that snooping on an innocent person does not betray some level of trust also. If she truly has not had any sort of affair, she may be very angry that you would accuse her of one....then wonder if you were not perhaps really the ONE who cheated.
It is hard to answer your question with no information on the situation. If you want them to confess about something you know, (seen with your own eyes...not so-and-so told me it was going on) and wish to have a respectful conversation and move on...then you must convey this very carefully. What are your motives for wanting a confession...to reconstruct trust or to simply dump them. If you are going to dump them for something you have caught them at...you don't really need a confession.
But no...I can't think of any magic words that will trap a spouse into a confession other than dates, times, names, emails, and numbers.
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