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female
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anonymous
writes: i am a 29 year old mother of a 14 year old son.i have noticed recently that my son has started dating and i am so scared that he will start engaging into sexual activities.i do not know how to talk to him about this matter and i do not want him to make mistakes that me and his father did. i fell pregnant when i was his age and i am afraid he might do the same with this young girlfriend of his.please help me , i really do not know how to approach him with such a serious issue, i now understand that teenage pregnancy is not as cool as teenagers might think, because i am now suffering the consequenses of being a pre-matured mother. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lovetokissyou  +, writes (26 April 2010):
I have had these talks with my boys and so far all is good. the older one is in his mid twenties and the other 3 are allmost out of teen hood. talk to him tell him the story of life and how much there is to being a mom or a dad at a very young age, allso ask him if he really thinks that at his age he will find the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and have children with her. If he thinks so ask him this, do you want to be married and have kids and if so is he hoping to be married only once and stay together forever. I know thats not the norm we live in but Its something you sould ask. I say this because I lived it.We are way to young untill we have exsperanced life to make proper desisions.Very few people can get married at a young age and grow together , first off thay dont even know enough about them selfs to make the right choices. I would tell Him if he is at all thinking he is ready to have sex then at least protect himself and his girl from becomeing parents.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Yes you started young but you sound mature and intelligent enough now to handle this. Just make sure he has access to contraceptives (you dont have to push them on him, just so long as he knows there's some about) and let him get on with being young and exploring his sexuality.
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Well first relax a little, my son assures me that sex eduction in school is very good, but6 obviously you need to top this up with the talk every mother hates to do but is really necessary.
I am sure that he will be careful as he will learn from you that being a young mum is not that great and that in actual fact it is a struggle.
Be honest with him about how hard it was for you and remind him about the things you could not do or things you went without.
try if possible to include your sons girlfriend in some of this stuff, I dont mean make it heavy, just drop it in to conversation when you are having a meal or sitting watching something on the tv, there are lots of things on the tv about teenagers having sex, babies etc so that could be your starting point.
As long as you are honest about this and tell him your fears, get the girlfriend involved if possible and make sure you cover all the basis like teenage pregnancy and STD`s then you have done as much as is possible, in the end it is his life and you are there to guide and support.
Do`nt forget to tell him of the advice centres that opperate just for young people, like in our area there is the Brook Advisory, young people can acess this for free and confidential non biased advice on everything sexual.
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A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Is the father around? Its always harder with lads because the only contreception they can take control of is the condom. At least with girls you can get them on the pill or something.Sit down with leaflets and the lot. You need to make sure he knows how to access and use them!? Use your own experiences to teach him how easy it is for girls to fall pregnant. Once they are pregnant in reality the final decision about having a baby is made by the girl. He needs to understand this and realise the ONLY way he can stay completely in control is by making sure HE uses condoms should he engage in sexual activities! Let him know that it is still illegal for him to have sex. Pherhaps talk to him about his future plans (college, work, having a house etc. etc.) and make sure that he knows he is nearing an age where his actions will start to have consequences! It shouldn't be hard to come up with examples for this.You can't stop him from doing the things he will do, but by discussing it with him you're openning up barriers. That way he will be able to come to you for advice about any situation. You can only give him the best of your knowledge and hope for the best and keep the communication doors open.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You need to talk to your son about your worries. All you can do for your kids is give them the benefit of your experience, you cannot live their lives for them ,nor can you stop them from making their own mistakes.
You are pbviously a loving and caring Mum and you need to try to put this over to your son in such a way that he will not feel his burgeoning adulthood is being controlled. You must tell him what you have told us here, and be brutally honest about how tough it has been for you and how much you love him.
Give him options and explain to him how to take responsibilty for his own contraception should things become *heated*. Tell him not to rely on a girls word that she is on the pill. Explain things from a health view point also, warn him about the STD's there are and how barrier methods of contraception can not only control pregnancy but the chance of catching anyhting nasty.
You cannot stop him only give him the information to make his own informed choices. And the support he needs to grow into a sensible and mature man.xxx
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