A
female
age
26-29,
*liviababy
writes:Ok, i'm a lesbian and recently i started going out with my best friend, we made out once and we've been on several dates now for about 2 months, but now she wants to take it further, i agreed to do it at hers next weekend, but i was sort of drunk when she asked, i love my girlfriend deeply, but don't want to break up with her, but wondering if i'm too young and its too early? Is it illegal is what i'm saying, and if it is would you advise it, if i say no she might break up with me, but if i say yes i might get in trouble, what should i do?[Moderator removed personally identifying details here, not relevant to the question.]
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): theres nothing wrong with that its fun but you shouldnt stress over it if you dont feel like your ready then dont have sex with her yet
A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (2 July 2011):
It's legal in UK at 16. The real issue, regardless of the law is, are you ready? From what you said, she seems to be pressuring you into doing something you don't seem quite ready in your own mind to do yet. Whether you are a virgin or not, if you are not ready for sex with this particular person, then for them to try to pressure you is not at all a good sign for the relationship. A truly loving partner will let it happen when it happens, not schedule an appointment for sex.
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A
female
reader, naughtysister76  +, writes (2 July 2011):
gf go with your heart, im bisexual and I have been with other girls sexually / you could say it was lesbian sex but we both like guys as well. Just go with your heart
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): I know this is irrelevent, but its unfair. Gay sex, straight sex, its all just sex!!! If anything straight sex is worse because you can get pregnant!! I wish you and your girlfriend the best and as the other aunt said, I doubt the police are going to find out. It occured to ne (sorry if this is in another answer, didnt fully read them through) that you might not be ready and looking for an excuse not to have it. Make sure before you do it that your ready. Think it through, and don't do anything that you'll regret later on.
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A
female
reader, Y_v +, writes (2 July 2011):
 To answer your first question.. are you too young? yes. you are young BUT it is LEGAL at the age of 16 to have sex. Sex is sex, it doesn't matter whether you're gay or not.
Just a little link about it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_the_United_Kingdom
Next you have that dilemma of whether to have sex to satisfy your gf OR to not have sex to avoid trouble :
Okay so if your gf truly loves you and has utmost respect for you then she should be able to wait until you are completely ready to take it to the next step. If she can't wait well then unfortunately she isn't the one, to put it bluntly :/ You shouldn't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do. Don't have sex just to satisfy your gf, do it for yourself as well.
However if you decided to go for it, you may get into some trouble but like i said before having sex at 16/17 isn't illegal! The only trouble you may get is from your parents. And to this i say that the most they can do is try to stop you from seeing your gf e.g. grounding you. But you can't be grounded forever! And the other thing is that all they can do is to advice. As parents its their job to worry and nag and protect in any way they can! But if they already know that your gay and you sit them down and discuss sex with them then all they can do is to support you through it.
Overall just do what you feel is right. I know that sounds crappily vague but you could do your research like the pros and cons of gay sex on the internet or info from your local gp.
That was a long answer! but hope this helps somehow...
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (2 July 2011):
 There used to be a law about gay sex, but it was to do specifically with male gay sex. Both males had to be at least 21.
To be fair, the kind of sex between two women is not the same, because of the lack of a certain part of the anatomy that belongs to the male. So, I can't see that whatever you might want to do would be illegal. And anyhow, there are not now laws about what kind of sex you can have at 16 - all is legal. So don't worry.
(And anyhow, I don't think any policemen are going to be monitoring you, to be honest! : ) Don't worry.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (1 July 2011):
In the UK gay sex at 16 is legal.Although as Aunt honesty said make sure you're actually ready and want to do this. You don't have to go through with it because you said you would when drunk and to be honest she shouldn't have asked you seriously when you were in that state and expect to keep you to it.If she loves you as much as you do her then she'll wait if you're not ready. Don't be pressured into it, if she's willing to leave you purely because you won't sleep with her after only two months then she's not worth it.Also if I'm honest you just don't sound that confident or ready, especially as all you've done with her before is make out once. I'd give it a little more time if I were you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Some states have different laws about gay versus straight sex, sometimes gay sex being 18 while straight is 16. It's really ridiculous, but unfortunately the way the law works. You can really easily just look this up on the internet. Someone has to press charges/go to the police for anything to happen though. 16 is the age of consent for both gay and straight couples in most states.The real question is whether you are emotionally ready. Don't do anything you're not ready to do, legal or not.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 If you are 16 well then you are at the age of consent therefore it is legal. But taking that to one side you need to be ready. Even if it is legal it doesn't make it right if you are not ready. If your girlfriend loves you well then she will not put pressure on you if you are not ready and if she does well then you are better of without her because she obviously doesn't care about you and how you feel. Just take things slow and do whatever you feel comfortable with. Your first time should be special and it should be something that you want to do.
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