A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have an amazing boyfriend. he is also my first boyfriend; we been together for 5 months and everything is going wonderfully, however due to his uni course, he has to spend one month on a site doing archaeological digging.Hes busy from 9 until 5 however since he went on the dig, i barely talk to him anymore (around 10mins a day) and its not because hes busy , its because hes hanging out with other people, making new friends and going down to the pub and getting drunk. I feel like crying because i dont know, am i too attached and asking too much of him and i should let him have some fun? or am i asking too much?
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (5 July 2011):
 I think you just have to be strong. This is something he has to do, and if you are being all dithery he will not be thinking about the job in hand, and thus may not be putting all his attention onto his work.
He will be being assessed on his fieldwork, which will count towards a final degree so it is something important.
How far away is the dig from where you go to Uni? Would there be an opportunity to visit him on a day trip on a day off maybe (they will get a day off - you cannot work 7 days a week!)
It has only been 3 days... for him it is still new and exciting. Give it a week or two. Once the novelty has worn off, the facts of living in a field, having to work in all weather conditions and all that fresh air and hard physical work may not be quite so thrilling. It could make him want to call you more and think about the comforts of home! Even flushing loos are a luxury! :)
Don't stress :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 I get it.
I'd be not happy to have an entire month where I can not see my man... we live 2 hours apart but see each other every weekend...
it's ONLY a MONTH... ONE day at a time... he'll be back... write long private letters to him... that's what I do when I can't be with my guy and talk to him...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for your answers :))
hes been away for 3 days now. he does have signal and there is a place to charge the phone and they are given food.
but ill let him have hes fun,i think the problem is im too attached.
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (5 July 2011):
I agree with Person12345, I also have experience with this type of thing.....
He is probably knackered. Physical work is very different from sitting behind a desk, and fresh air and exercise could be knocking him out.
He may not be able to get signal, or charge his phone. If you are in a field even the most basic things can be a challenge.
Going on fieldwork projects is all about interacting and having fun with your fellow collegues.... drinking and having fun are a big part of this, especially when you are living and working in close confines with people. If you start ignoring the people around you, things can become awkward.
At the end of the day, its not just a case of finishing work, you then have to think about showers, food, (which can be a challenge depending on where you are staying/camping) and often its quite late before you get to take stock of the day and sit still.
Finally.... student archaeologists do like to drink. Lots.
Be happy he is taking the time to call you every day. That shows a lot of commitment on his part.
Just out of interest, how long has he been away?
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 You need to lighten up. Appreciate what you have, it all sounds fine.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 July 2011):
 If this was a long term long distance thing, I'd say he was being a jerk. But for a month? I'd say calling even a few times was impressive.
I've been on these trips, and going out drinking with your digging buddies is half the experience of the trip. Most of the people on the trip I was on called maybe once. Calling EVERY day is an extremely dedicated. Not only should you not be whining, you should be on top of the world that he's calling daily!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 July 2011):
he calls every day? let him go have his fun...
...............................
|
