A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A guy asked me out, he is 6 years older than me and very attractive. We went on a first date. He said he was looking for a relationship. But when I didn't want to have sex on the first date, he laughed his head off and dumped me. Why are guys so cruel? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI mention I really liked him, as he used to work as the same place as me. Doesn't matter now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): He was an asshole OP but you're giving him far too much emotional worth.
Here's the real issue "I mean I really liked him" Really? You only have one date and you already "really liked him?"
That's the real issue here OP because there are plenty of guys who are going to be assholes and if you end up really liking every guy before you even get to know them then you're going to get hurt each and every time you figure out the guy is a dick.
I like to believe most of us are nice deep down but you have to get to know us before you invest in us emotionally.
Fair enough this guy was an asshole but you seem far too devastated over a guy who ditched you after one date and was only after sex. Take this as a lesson. Try not to make things like this a big deal, they're really not worth your time thinking about or getting upset about. If you put this level of emotion into every guy you date then you're going to be crushed and disappointed every time it goes wrong. A bad first date for whatever reason is not worth this level of emotional anguish. Really it's not, especially when chances are you may meet a guy who waits until the 5th or 6th date to let his true colours come out and that will hit you even harder.
...............................
A
male
reader, oneguy  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 Hi,
I didn't really mean to imply that you went after jerks - I owe you an apology since on reading my reply I see that that's how it looks. So - sorry :) I was just trying to create an impact so that you don't extend this unpleasant experience to all men, and I'm happy that you aren't doing that.
You know something.. these jerks don't affect just women. They make life miserable for the men who work under them. They patronize suck ups and sycophants. They are obsequious to their own superiors and won't hesitate to elbow out and push down good noble workers/people in their lives, because they view good people are threats who should be ruthlessly put down. I've seen many such people and it's saddening, demotivating and it makes me lose faith in humanity when I see wave after wave of such losers who are actually owning the world. But I *still* hold on to my faith in the possibility of genuine goodness existing in the hearts of humans.
So, I understand the pain more than you can imagine. Which is why I was so vocal. I wish nobody runs into such scumbags in their lives.
Anyway, I ramble.
You have an awesome day! :)
TC, ATB!
Cheers!
Regards,
OneGuy.
...............................
A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (15 January 2012):
 I reckon I'm worse than most males and I would never treat a woman like that. Women are people and demand respect even if a mans agenda is a bit different to a woman. I understand that you overestimated this mans qualities because of his disceptions. These things are hard to judge. Take it slow and be prepared to re-evaluate as you go along. Theres lots of good men out there. You just have to be able to pick them.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOneguy- I loathe jerks, hence why I never bothered or saw this guy ever again.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 Yours is a very wide generalization, not all men think and act as you describe. Anyway, it's difficult and a waste of time trying to figure out what a stranger wants or expects from you, so don't. Go by what YOU want. If you want a committed relationship, wait until you already are in one before becoming intimate. If you are open to the possibility that it may just be some fun not necessarily leading anywhere , and you will have no special regrets about it, ...then just go with the flow and be in the moment. In this case, you always win . It's about you, not about ingratiating yoursef to any male who gives you the time of the day.
...............................
A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (15 January 2012):
All guys dont lie. You had a lucky escape with him. Just think how many may have had sex on the first date with him, and how they must have felt after. You stood by your morals, well done there. He was the loser. You still have your self respect.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI mean I really liked him and wanted something more than just sex. You can't win with these people if you do have sex on a first date, than men think you're a slut. They also never want to see you again if you do.
...............................
A
male
reader, oneguy +, writes (15 January 2012):
Guys aren't cruel! Sex on the first date?! This "attractive" guy of yours is a plain asshole. Women are the cruel ones. They run after alpha males who are jerks and treat women shabbily. Women give no chance to good men who are kind and respectful, even if they are attractive. There - I just generalized it and if you felt that hit you, it's proof for you to realize that all men or women aren't the same.
Please re-evaluate what attracts you in life. Thank your stars that this put your favorite expletive here of a guy is out of your life before you got seriously hurt or even physically harmed. And kudos to you for standing up for yourself and saying "no" unequivocally and not giving in when he tried to use your infatuation for him in the wrong manner. And please, don't go after such jerks in future. And the way you do that is by standing for yourself *always*. Don't worry Miss, a real handsome good guy is out there and he will come into your life very soon.
Cheers!
Regards,
OneGuy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 January 2012):
 Because he is a jerk who only wanted to have sex and thought if he promised you a relationship, you'd immediately drop trou. And then he'd dump you anyways. That kind of guy is someone we like to call a player or a misogynist, who believes women are basically masturbation sleeves that raise his status. This isn't a trait of all guys in general, you just happened to find one of those unfortunate lonely selfish people. There are better guys out there.
...............................
|
