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Is masturbation worth doing?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 20 years old and I'm still a virgin in every way. Everyone I know masturbates,but for some reason that really freaks me out. The thought of it makes me feel guilty for some reason. How do you even do it? I know that sounds silly, but seriously. Is it worth doing? Is it weird to do it without any prior sexual experience?

View related questions: still a virgin

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012):

When i was younger, i didnt realise i'd started masturbating until i got to my teens and learnt more about sex.

I used to pleasure myself to make me feel tired, but as a kid i just thought it was like excercise or something. (i cant remember that far back)

My first period i thought i was dying, because i'd damaged myself from excercising and i was bleeding to death.

That's an hilarious memory looking back now!

Everyones different, some people do, some people dont. Some people use sex toys, some people dont.

Masturbating can benefit you though, it lifts bad moods, relieves period pain, and you can learn more about your body, so when a lad goes down there, he'll know what you want, because you can tell him :)

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 January 2012):

olderthandirt agony auntIt's only "worth it" if you want to experience a mind blowing pleasure that ripples through your body. If you're not into pleasure then, skip it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 January 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWell if you haven't done it and feel no need to do it then I dont' see why you should start now.

Of course I can't even remember how old I was when I started doing it... it was well before puberty and it was to orgams. (cool thing about being a girl)

it was in the bath with the water faucet running over me.

my cousin and I would fight over who would do it first and i would say to her " I want to do it till it tickles" I had NO IDEA that "the tickle" was an orgasm till much later on....

now I have a hand held shower massager and I use that in the shower... not every time but a few times a week....

AND I have a live in partner so it's not instead of adult sexual relations but in ADDITION to it.

Sometimes I even masturbate in bed with him there with me and he will play with my breasts or finger me while I rub my clitoris....

I see no crime in it at all.

IF god did not want us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (18 January 2012):

person12345 agony auntOur society puts a lot of shame on people, especially women, for masturbating and there's no reason for it. It feels good, it helps you fall asleep, it's great for pulling you out of a bad mood, it can be a good way to pass the time, and it's the only way you'll be able to orgasm with a partner in the future. There's pretty no negative to it, and YES it's worth doing. If you ever expect to have a satisfying sex life, you should definitely do it. It has nothing to do with how much sexual experience you have.

I didn't start until I was 20 and like you, felt really weird about doing it. Go somewhere you feel really comfortable, probably a bed or hot bath. Some women even use the faucet from the bathtub. A lot of women have success with massaging showerheads too. You don't have to start with making an orgasm your goal, just get comfortable touching yourself. That seems to be the biggest barrier for most women. It can help with this too if you stop using washcloths or loofahs and use your hands to wash, and switch to an applicator free tampon or menstrual cup. It's just good to get totally comfortable having your hands down there in general, because it's impossible for masturbation to work if you feel uncomfortable with your hands just being there. I know a lot of women (myself included) never ever touch that area, so it feels a little weird at first and it's best to get as much "exposure" as possible.

I second reading that clitical.com page. I read that before I started and it really helped.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 January 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThere's nothing WRONG with masturbation. The only caveats about having that as your primary sex life (as I have done, repeatedly, over the years) are:

1. You will find that you do NOT grow hair on your palms... your eyesight is NOT adversely affected... and you will NOT go mad (tho' you MAY get a little dippy from it!)...., and,

2. It can reek havoc on your rotator cuff and wrist....

That said, I say "Have at it..."

Good luck....

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (18 January 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntI don't think you're silly. I think you're probably more normal that you realize. Many girls feel like you do. If you don't want to masturbate, don't! You don't have to apologize or explain to anyone.

That being said, I have a link for you to read and something for you to think about. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/how_do_you_masturbate

When you do finally get intimate with a partner, if you don't know what your body's natural sexual response feels like, you're going to have a learning curve. Your partner won't know how to please you, because you won't know yourself. So you will have to have a lot of patience at that time.

It is not weird to do it without any prior sexual experience. Maybe what you should spend some time thinking about is why you feel guilty for having natural sexual thoughts about masturbation or other things. Is it family mores, is it insecurity, is it something else?

I think a lot of women operate in the dark in this area, especially around your age. I was totally clueless at your age and didn't have any idea what to do. I didn't know my anatomy, I actually thought my labia were my clitoris! Ha! Talk about clueless. And I was a Biology major, go figure. I needed to take out that mirror and have a good long look, but it took some time for me to work up the courage. Genitals look ODD, no question!

Anyhoo, I finally figured it out in my mid 20s.

And to answer your question. Yes, it is worth doing. But do it on your own time and don't feel pressured or yucky or guilty. It's all good. You'll be fine.

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A female reader, Phunky  +, writes (18 January 2012):

Phunky agony auntit's not weird doing it but when you feel like you want too have sex badly and there's no other way to do it you might get fun with it ... im still virgin and the first time I mastrubated it was acturly very weird , I had a long distance relationship so it was through phone and he told me what to do like touching my self and you really get turned on by doing it and again its very weird ... if you never been touched and never thought about it you don't know how to be turned on ( that's what I thought though) and how do you do it? in bed spreading your legs and put you're fingers there and rub it and think about something sexuel or somethings that turns you on fast well this is a site that learn you how to do it and people talk about their experience and their "firt time mastrubation" http://www.clitical.com/female-masturbation.php?page=who-masturbates I just looked it up for you GoodLuck! ps : in bigining i felt so ashamed doing it because of my religion but I have to stay virgin untill I get married so that's the onlything that's getting me of :p ( sorry for my bad english )

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